“Baldy, darling: The operation is over, and the doctor gives us hope. That is the best I can tell you. I haven’t been allowed to see Judy, though they have let Bob have a peep at her, and she smiled.
“You can imagine that we have had little heart for good times. But the babies had a beautiful Christmas Day, with a tree—and stockings hung above the gas logs. How I longed for our own little wood fire, but the blessed darlings didn’t know the difference. We couldn’t spend much money, which was fortunate. The things that came from the east were so perfect. Yours, honey-boy, only you shouldn’t have made the check so large. I shan’t spend it unless it is very necessary. Mr. Towne sent flowers, loads of them—and perfectly1 marvellous chocolates in a box of gold lacquer—and Edith sent a string of carved ivory beads2, and there was a blue Keats from Evans, and a ducky orange scarf from Mrs. Follette.
“I wish you could have seen the babies. Julia staggered around the tree on her uncertain little feet as if she were drunk, and then settled down to an adorable stuffed bunny, and Junior had eyes for nothing but the red automobile3 that the Townes ordered for him. I think it was dear of Edith and[228] her uncle. Junior is such a charming chap, with beautiful manners like his dad, but with a will of his own at times.
“I roasted a chicken for dinner, and—well, we got through it all. And now the babies are in bed, and Bob is at the hospital, and I am writing to you. But my heart is tight with fear.
“I mustn’t think about Judy.
“Give my love to everybody. I have had Christmas letters from Evans and Edith and Mr. Towne. Baldy, Mr. Towne wants to marry me. I haven’t told you before. It is rather like a dream and I’m not going to think about it. I don’t love him, and so, of course, that settles it. But he says he can make me, and, Baldy, sometimes I wish that he could. It would be such a heavenly thing for the whole family. Of course that isn’t the way to look at it, but I believe Judy wants it. She believes in love in a cottage, but she says that love in a palace might be equally satisfying, with fewer things to worry about.
“Somehow that doesn’t fit in with the things I’ve dreamed. But dreams, of course, aren’t everything....
“I had to tell you, dear old boy. Because we’ve never kept things from each other. And you’ve been so perfectly frank about Edith. Are things a bit blue in that direction? Your letter sounded like it.
“Be good to yourself, old dear, and love me more than ever.”
Jane signed her name and stood up, stretching her arms above her head. It was late and she was very tired. A great storm was shaking the windows.[229] The wind from the lake beat against the walls with the boom of guns.
Jane pulled back the curtains—there was snow with the storm—it whirled in papery shreds4 on the shaft5 of light. All sounds in the street were muffled6. She had a sense of suffocation—as if the storm pressed upon her—shutting her in.
She went into the next room and looked at the babies. Oh, what would they do if anything happened to Judy? What would Bob do? She dared not look ahead.
She walked the floor, a tense little figure, fighting against fear. The storm had become a whistling pandemonium7. She gave a cry of relief when the door opened and her brother-in-law entered.
“I’m half-frozen, Janey. It was a fight to get through. The cars are stopped on all the surface lines.”
“How is Judy?”
“Holding her own. And by the way, Janey, that friend of yours, Towne, sent another bunch of roses. Pretty fine, I call it. She’s no end pleased.”
“It’s nice of him.”
“Gee, I wish I had his money.”
“Money isn’t everything, Bobby.”
“It means a lot at a time like this.” His face wore a worried frown. Jane knew that Judy’s hospital expenses were appalling8, and bills were piling up.
[230]“I work like a nigger,” Bob said, ruefully, “and we’ve never been in debt before.”
“When Judy is well, things will seem brighter, Bob.” She laid her hand on his arm.
He looked up at her and there was fear in his eyes. “Jane, she must get well. I can’t face losing her.”
“We mustn’t think of that. And now come on out in the kitchen and I’ll make you some coffee.” Jane was always practical. She knew that, warmed and fed, he would see things differently.
Yet in spite of her philosophy, Jane lay awake a long time that night. And later her dreams were of Judy—of Judy, and a gray and dreadful phantom9 which pursued....
The next day she went to the hospital and took Junior with her.
When he saw his mother in bed, Junior asked, “Do you like it, Mother-dear?”
“Like what, darling?”
“Sleeping in the daytime?”
“I don’t always sleep.” She looked at Jane. “Does little Julia miss me? I think about her in the night.”
Jane knew what Judy’s heart wanted. “She does miss you. I know it when she turns away from me. Perhaps I oughtn’t to tell you. But I thought you’d rather know.”
“I do want to know,” said Judy, feverishly10. “I[231] don’t want them to forget. Jane, you mustn’t ever let them—forget.”
Jane felt as if she had been struck a stunning11 blow. She was, for a moment, in the midst of a dizzy universe, in which only one thing was clear. Judy wasn’t sure of getting well!
Judy, with her brown eyes wistful, went on: “Junior, do you want Mother back in your own nice house?”
“Will you make cookies?”
“Yes, darling.”
“Mother knows how to give cookie-men raisin12 eyes. Mothers know a lot of things that aunties don’t, darling.”
“Well, I wish you’d come back.” He stood by the side of the bed. “I’d like to sleep with you to-night. May I, Mother-dear?”
“Not to-night, darling. But you may when I come home.”
But days passed and weeks, and Judy did not come home. And the first of February found her still in that narrow hospital bed. And it was in February that Frederick Towne wrote that he was coming to Chicago. “I shall have only a day, but I must see you.”
Jane was not sure that she wanted him to come. He had been very good to them all, and he had not, in his letter, pressed for an answer[232] unduly14. But she knew if he came, he would ask.
The next time she went to the hospital, she told Judy of his expected arrival. “To-morrow.”
“Oh, Jane, how delightful15.”
“Is it? I’m not sure, Judy.”
“It would be perfect if you’d accept him, Jane.”
“But I’m not in love with him.”
Judy, rather austere16, with her black braids on each side of her white face, said, “Janey, do you know that not one girl in a thousand has a chance to marry a man like Frederick Towne?”
There was a breathless excitement about the invalid17 which warned Jane. “Now, darling, what real difference will it make if I don’t marry him? There are other men in the world.”
“Bob and I were talking about it,” Judy’s voice was almost painfully eager, “of how splendid it would be for—all of us.”
For all of us. Judy and Bob and the babies! It was the first time that Jane had thought of her marriage with Towne as a way out for Judy and Bob....
From his hotel at the moment of arrival, Towne called Jane up. “Are you glad I’m here?”
“Of course.”
“Don’t say it that way.”
“How shall I say it?”
“As if you meant it. Do you know what a[233] frigid18 little thing you are? Your letters were like frosted cakes.”
She laughed. “They were the best I could do.”
“I don’t believe it. But I am not going to talk of that now. When can I come and see you? And how much time have you to spare for me?”
“Not much. I can’t leave the babies.”
“Your sister’s children. Can’t you trust the maids?”
“Maids? Listen to the man! We haven’t any.”
“You don’t mean to tell me that you are doing the housework.”
“Yes, why not? I am strong and well, and the kiddies are adorable.”
“We are going to change that. I’ll bring a trained nurse up with me.”
“Tut-tut, little girl,” she heard his big laugh over the telephone, “I’ll bring the nurse and someone to help her, and a load of toys to keep the kiddies quiet. When I want a thing, Jane, I usually get it.”
He and the nurse arrived together. A competent houseworker was to follow in a cab. Jane protested. “It seems dreadfully high-handed.”
They were alone in the living-room. Miss Martin had, at once, carried the kiddies off to unpack20 the toys.
Frederick laughed. “Well, what are you going to do about it? You can’t put me out.”
[234]“But I can refuse to go with you”—there was the crisp note in her voice which always stirred him.
“But you won’t do that, Jane.” He held out his hand to her, drew her a little towards him.
She released herself, flushing. “I am not quite sure what I ought to do.”
“Why think of ‘oughts’? We will just play a bit together, Jane. That’s all. And you’re such a tired little girl, aren’t you?”
His sympathy was comforting. Everybody leaned on Jane. It was delightful to shift her burdens to this strong man who gave his commands like a king.
“Yes, I am tired. And if the babies will be all right——”
“Good. Now run in and see Miss Martin, and I think you’ll be satisfied.”
Jane found Junior rapturous over a Noah’s Ark, with all the animals clothed in fur and hair, and the birds in feathers, and small Julia cuddled against the nurse’s white breast, bright-eyed with interest over the Three Kittens.
“They’ll be all right, Miss Barnes,” Miss Martin said, smiling.
Jane sighed with relief. “It will seem good to play for a bit.”
“You see how I get my way,” Frederick said, as he helped her into the big hired limousine21. “I always get it.”
“It is rather heavenly at the moment,” Jane[235] admitted, “but you needn’t think that it establishes a precedent22.”
“Wouldn’t it be always—heavenly?”
“I’m not sure. You have the makings of a—Turk.”
Yet she laughed as she said it, and he laughed, too. He was really very handsome, ruddy and bright and big—and with that air of gay deference23. She liked to sit beside him, and listen to the things he had to tell her. It was peaceful after all the strenuous24 days.
She was aware that if she married Towne life would be always like this. A glorified25 existence. She would be like Curlylocks of the nursery rhyme....
“What are you smiling at?” Frederick demanded. His eyes as they met hers burned a bit. Jane was half-buried in a black fur robe—with only the white oval of her face and her little gray hat showing above it.
“Nursery rhymes.” The smile deepened.
“Which one?”
“Curlylocks.”
“I don’t remember it. Oh, yes, by Jove, I do. She was the damsel who sat on a cushion and sewed a fine seam, and feasted on strawberries, sugar and cream?”
“Yes.”
“Good. That’s what I want to do for you. You know it?”
[236]“Yes. But it might be—monotonous.”
“What better thing could happen to you than to have someone take care of you?”
Jane sat up. “Oh, I want to live,” she said, almost with fierceness. “I’d hate to think my husband was just a sort of—feather cushion.”
“Is that the way you think of me?” His vanity was untouched. She didn’t, of course, mean it.
“No. But love is life. I don’t want to miss it.”
“You won’t miss it if you marry me. I swear it, Jane, I’ll make you love me.”
He was in dead earnest. And in spite of herself she was swayed by his attitude of conviction.
“Oh, we mustn’t talk of it,” she said, a bit breathlessly. “I’d rather not, please.”
They lunched at a charming French restaurant, where Frederick had dared Jane to eat snails26. She acquiesced27 rather unexpectedly. “I have always wanted to do it,” she told him, “ever since I was a little girl and read Hans Andersen’s story of the white snails who lived in a forest of burdocks, and whose claim to aristocracy was that their ancestors had been baked and served in a silver dish.”
“I can’t tell you how much I am enjoying it,” she said gratefully, as he once more gave her his attention.
“Do you really like it?”
[237]“Immensely.”
“Why not have it for the rest of your life?”
Her color deepened. “Sometimes I think it would be——” she hesitated.
“Heavenly,” he finished the sentence for her. “Jane, you only have to say the word.”
The waiter, with the first course, interrupted them. When he once more disappeared, Frederick persisted. “I’m going away to-morrow. Won’t you give me my answer to-night? After lunch I’ll take you home and you can rest a bit, and then I’ll come for you and we’ll dine together and see a play.”
She tried to protest, but he pleaded. “This is my day. Don’t spoil it, Jane.”
It was nearly three o’clock when they left the table, and they had a long drive before them. Darkness had descended29 when they reached the house. It was still snowing.
Bob was up-stairs, walking around the little room like a man in a dream.
“I can’t tell you,” he confided30 to Jane after Frederick had left, “how queer I felt when I came in and found Miss Martin with the babies, and that stately old woman in the kitchen. And everything going like clockwork. Miss Martin explained, and—well, Towne just waves a wand, doesn’t he, Janey, and makes things happen?”
“I don’t know that I ought to let him do so much,” Jane said.
[238]“Oh, why not, Janey? Just take the good the gods provide....”
Before Frederick Towne reached his hotel he passed a shop whose windows were lighted against the early darkness. In one of the windows, flanked by slippers31 and stockings and a fan to match, was a French gown, all silver and faint blue, a shining wisp of a thing in lace and satin. Towne stopped the car, went in and bought the gown with its matching accessories. He carried the big box with him to his hotel. Resting a bit before dinner he permitted himself to dream of Jane in that gown, the pearls that he would give her against the white of her slender throat, the slim bareness of her arms, the swirl32 of a silver lace about her ankles—the swing of the boyish figure in its sheath of blue.
He permitted himself to think of her, too, in other gowns. His thoughts of her frocks were all definite. He had exquisite33 taste. If he married Jane, he would dress her so that people would look at her, and look again. Even in her poverty, she had learned to express herself in the things she wore. His money would make possible even more subtle expression.
So he thought of her in gray chiffon, black pearls in her ears—oh, to think of Jane in earrings34!—with a touch of jade35 where the draperies swung loose—and with an oyster-white lining36 to the green cape37 which would cover the gown—a lynx collar up to her ears.
[239]Or a tea-gown of tangerine38 lace—with bands of sable39 catching40 the open sleeves at the wrist—or in white—Jane’s wedding dress must be heavy with pearls—she lent herself perfectly to medieval effects.
His mind came back to the blue and silver. It hung on the bed-post, shimmering41 in the light from his lamp. He wondered if he offered it to Jane, would she accept? He knew she wouldn’t. Adelaide would have made no bones about it. There had been a lovely thing in black velvet42 he had given her, too, a wrap to match.
But Jane was different. She would shrug43 her shoulders and with that charming independence, decline his favors, tilting44 her chin, and challenging him with her lighted-up eyes.
Well, he liked her for it. Loved her for it. And some day she would wear the blue and silver frock. As he rose and put it back in the box, he seemed to shut Jane in with it. There hung about it the scent45 of roses. He knew of a rare perfume. He would order a vial of it for Jane. It merely hinted at fragrance46.
The evening stretched ahead of him, full of radiant promise. He knew Jane’s strength but he was ready for conquest.
“Mr. Towne,” she said, “I can’t dine with you. But can you come over later? Judy is desperately48 ill. I’ll tell you more about it when I see you.”
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1
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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2
beads
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| n.（空心）小珠子( bead的名词复数 )；水珠；珠子项链 | |
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3
automobile
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| n.汽车，机动车 | |
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4
shreds
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| v.撕碎，切碎( shred的第三人称单数 )；用撕毁机撕毁（文件） | |
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5
shaft
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| n.(工具的)柄，杆状物 | |
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6
muffled
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| adj.（声音）被隔的；听不太清的；（衣服）裹严的；蒙住的v.压抑，捂住( muffle的过去式和过去分词 )；用厚厚的衣帽包着（自己） | |
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7
pandemonium
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| n.喧嚣，大混乱 | |
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8
appalling
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| adj.骇人听闻的，令人震惊的，可怕的 | |
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9
phantom
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| n.幻影，虚位，幽灵；adj.错觉的，幻影的，幽灵的 | |
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10
feverishly
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| adv. 兴奋地 | |
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stunning
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| adj.极好的；使人晕倒的 | |
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12
raisin
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| n.葡萄干 | |
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raisins
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| n.葡萄干( raisin的名词复数 ) | |
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14
unduly
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| adv.过度地，不适当地 | |
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15
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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16
austere
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| adj.艰苦的；朴素的，朴实无华的；严峻的 | |
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17
invalid
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| n.病人，伤残人；adj.有病的，伤残的；无效的 | |
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18
frigid
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| adj.寒冷的，凛冽的；冷淡的；拘禁的 | |
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19
tyrant
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| n.暴君，专制的君主，残暴的人 | |
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20
unpack
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| vt.打开包裹（或行李），卸货 | |
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21
limousine
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| n.豪华轿车 | |
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22
precedent
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| n.先例，前例；惯例；adj.在前的，在先的 | |
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23
deference
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| n.尊重，顺从；敬意 | |
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24
strenuous
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| adj.奋发的，使劲的；紧张的；热烈的，狂热的 | |
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25
glorified
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| 美其名的，变荣耀的 | |
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26
snails
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| n.蜗牛；迟钝的人；蜗牛( snail的名词复数 ) | |
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acquiesced
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| v.默认，默许( acquiesce的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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28
luncheon
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| n.午宴，午餐，便宴 | |
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29
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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30
confided
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| v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的过去式和过去分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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31
slippers
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| n. 拖鞋 | |
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32
swirl
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| v.(使)打漩，(使)涡卷；n.漩涡，螺旋形 | |
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33
exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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34
earrings
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| n.耳环( earring的名词复数 )；耳坠子 | |
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35
jade
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| n.玉石；碧玉；翡翠 | |
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36
lining
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| n.衬里，衬料 | |
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37
cape
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| n.海角，岬；披肩，短披风 | |
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38
tangerine
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| n.橘子，橘子树 | |
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39
sable
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| n.黑貂；adj.黑色的 | |
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40
catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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41
shimmering
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| v.闪闪发光，发微光( shimmer的现在分词 ) | |
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42
velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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43
shrug
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| v.耸肩(表示怀疑、冷漠、不知等) | |
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44
tilting
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| 倾斜，倾卸 | |
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45
scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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46
fragrance
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| n.芬芳，香味，香气 | |
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47
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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48
desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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