To follow still the changes of the moon
Is to be resolved. But yet
I’ll see before I doubt: when I doubt, prove,
And on the proof there is no more but this—
Away at once with love or jealousy.”—Shakspeare.
Lord Mortimer had, in reality, departed with sentiments very unfavorable to Amanda. He had waited impatiently at St. Catherine’s, in the fond expectation of having all his doubts removed by a candid3 explanation of the motives4 which caused her precipitate5 journey from Wales. His soul sighed for a reconciliation6: his tenderness was redoubled by being so long restrained. The idea of folding his beloved Amanda to his bosom7, and hearing that she deserved all the tenderness and[Pg 188] sensibility which glowed in that bosom for her, gave him the highest pleasure; but when the appointed hour passed, and no Amanda appeared, language cannot express his disappointment. Almost distracted by it, he ventured to inquire concerning her from Sister Mary; and, long after the friendly nun8 had retired9 to the convent, continued to wander about the ruins, till the shadows of night had enveloped10 every object from his view. “She fears to come, then,” exclaimed he, quitting the desolate11 spot, oppressed with the keenest anguish12; “she fears to come, because she cannot satisfy my doubts. I witnessed her agitation13, her embarrassment14, this morning, when I hinted at them. The mystery which separated us will not be explained, and it is in vain to think we shall ever meet, as I once flattered myself we should.”
This thought seemed to strike at all his hopes. The distress15 and disorder16 of his mind was depicted17 on his countenance18, and escaped not the observation and raillery of the marchioness and Lady Euphrasia; but their raillery was in vain, and unanswered by him; he was absorbed in a train of pensive19 reflections, which they had neither power to remove or disturb.
Most unwillingly20 he accompanied them the ensuing day to a splendid entertainment given purposely for them in the neighborhood. The unexpected sight of Amanda, as she stood on a little elevated bank, to avoid the carriage, caused a sudden emotion of surprise and delight in his bosom. The utmost powers of eloquence21 could not have pleaded her cause so successfully as her own appearance at that minute did. The languor22 of her face, its mild and seraphic expression, her pensive attitude, and the timid modesty23 with which she seemed shrinking from observation, all touched the sensibility of Lord Mortimer, awakened24 his softest feelings, revived his hopes, and made him resolve to seek another opportunity of demanding an explanation from her. The sudden color which flushed his cheeks, and the sparkling of his eyes, as he looked from the carriage, attracted the notice of his companions. They smiled maliciously25 at each other, and Lady Euphrasia declared, “She supposed the girl was stationed there to try and attract admiration26, which, perhaps, her silly old father had told her she merited—or else to meet with adventures.” Lord Mortimer drew in his head, and the contrast between her ladyship and the fair being he had been looking at, never struck him so forcibly as at that moment, and lessened27 one as much as it elevated the other in his estimation.
He wandered near the castle the next evening, in hopes of[Pg 189] meeting Amanda. His disappointment was diminished by seeing Ellen, who he was confident, would be faithful to the message intrusted to her. With this confidence he hastened to the rocks, every moment expecting the appearance of Amanda. Her image, as it appeared to him the preceding day, dwelt upon his imagination, and he forcibly felt how essential to his peace was a reconciliation with her. An hour elapsed, and his tenderness again began to give way to resentment29. It was not Ellen, but Amanda he doubted. He traversed the beach in an agony of impatience31 and anxiety; a feverish32 heat pervaded33 his frame, and he trembled with agitation. At length he heard the distant sound of the supper-bell at Ulster Lodge34, which never rang till a late hour. All hopes of seeing Amanda were now given up, and every intention of meeting her at a future period relinquished36. She avoided him designedly, it was evident. He would have cursed himself for betraying such anxiety about her, and his wounded pride revolted from the idea of seeking another interview. “No! Amanda!” he exclaimed, as he passed the castle, “you can no longer have any claim upon me. Mysterious appearances in the most candid mind will raise suspicions. In giving you an opportunity for accounting37 for such appearances, I did all that candor38, tenderness, sensibility, and honor could dictate39; and, instead of again making efforts to converse40 with you, I must now make others, which, I trust, will be more successful, entirely41 to forget you.”
The next morning he accompanied the marquis in his barge42 to the frigate43, where he was agreeably surprised to find in the commander an old friend of his, Captain Somerville, who returned to Ulster Lodge with his visitors, and there, in a half jesting, half serious manner, asked Lord Mortimer to accompany him on his intended cruise. This his lordship instantly promised he would, with pleasure. He was completely tired of the Roslin family, and was, besides, glad of an opportunity of convincing Amanda he was not quite so fascinated to her as she perhaps believed, by his quitting the neighborhood ere their departure. As he descended44 to the boat, the sight of Amanda shook his resolution. She seemed destined45 to cross his path, merely to give him disquietude. An ardent46 wish sprung in his heart to address her, but it was instantly suppressed, by reflecting how premeditately she had avoided him; pride, therefore, prompted him to pass her in silence; yet, as the boat receded47 from the shore, his eyes were riveted48 to the spot on which she stood, and when he could no longer see her white gown fluttering in the wind, he gave a sigh to the remem[Pg 190]brance of the happy days he had passed with her at Tudor Hall; and another to the idea, that such hours would never more be enjoyed by him.
The family at Ulster Lodge were both mortified49 and disappointed by his departure, though he, perceiving their displeasure, had endeavored to lessen28 it, by promising50 to wait their arrival in Dublin, and return with them to England. His departure seemed a tacit intimation that he was not as much attached to Lady Euphrasia as they wished him to be. A suspicion of this nature had, indeed, for some time pervaded their minds, and also that his affections were elsewhere disposed of: they had reason to believe that the person who possessed51 them dwelt in the vicinity of the lodge, from the great alteration52 which took place in his manner, immediately after his arrival at it. In hopes of discovering who this was, they watched him critically at all the parties he frequented with them, but soon found it was not the present, but the absent objects had the power of exciting emotions in him. At the name of Amanda Fitzalan or her father they observed him color, and frequently saw him contemplate53 Castle Carberry, as if it contained a being infinitely54 dear to him; to Amanda, therefore, they feared he was attached, and supposed the attachment55 commenced at the Kilcorbans’ ball, where they had noticed his impassioned glances at this hated, because too lovely relation. The most unbounded rage took possession of their souls; they regretted ever having come to Ireland, where they supposed Lord Mortimer had first seen Amanda, as Lord Cherbury had mentioned the children of Fitzalan being strangers to him or his family. They knew the passions of Lord Cherbury were impetuous, and that ambition was the leading principle of his soul. Anxious for an alliance between his family and theirs, they knew he would ill brook56 any obstacle which should be thrown in the way of its completion, and therefore resolved, if Lord Mortimer, at their next meeting, appeared averse30 to the wishes of his father, to acquaint the earl with the occasion of his son’s disinclination, and represent Fitzalan and his daughter as aiding and abetting57 each other, in an insidious58 scheme to entangle59 the affections of Lord Mortimer, and draw him into a marriage; a scheme which, to a man of the world (as they knew Lord Cherbury to be), would appear so very probable as to gain implicit60 credit. This they knew would convert the esteem61 he felt for Fitzalan into hatred62 and contempt; his favor would consequently be withdrawn63, and the father and child again sunk into indigent64 obscurity. To think that Amanda, by dire65 necessity, should be reduced to servitude;[Pg 191] to think the elegance66 of her form should be disguised by the garb67 of poverty, and the charms of her face faded by misery68, were ideas so grateful, so ecstatic to their hearts, that to have them realized, they felt they could with pleasure relinquish35 the attentions of Lord Mortimer, to have a pretext69 for injuring Fitzalan with his father: though not quite assured their suspicions were well founded, they would never have hesitated communicating them as such to Lord Cherbury; but for their own satisfaction they wished to know what reason they had to entertain them. Lady Greystock was the only person they observed on a footing of intimacy70 with Amanda, and through her means flattered themselves they might make the desired discovery. They therefore began to unbend from their haughtiness71, and make overtures72 for an intimacy with her; overtures which she received with delight, and in their present attention forgot their past neglect, which had given her such disgust. As they became intimate with her, they were much amused by a shrewd manner she possessed of telling stories, and placing the foibles and imperfections of their visitors in the most conspicuous73 and ludicrous light; particularly of such visitors as were not agreeable to them. With the foibles of human nature she was well acquainted, also with the art of turning those foibles to her own advantage. She perceived the egregious74 vanity of the marchioness and Lady Euphrasia, and by administering large portions of what Sterne styles the delicious essence of the soul, to them, soon became an immense favorite. After an injunction of secrecy75, the marchioness communicated her fears relative to Lord Mortimer and Amanda, which, she pretended, regard for one and pity for the other, had excited; as an attachment either of an honorable or dishonorable nature, she knew Lord Cherbury would never pardon. To know, therefore, how far matters had proceeded between them, would be some satisfaction, and might, perhaps, be the means of preventing the ill consequences she dreaded76. Lady Greystock was not to be imposed on; she perceived it was not pity for Amanda, but envy and jealousy, which had excited the fears of the marchioness. If Lord Mortimer was attached to Amanda, from his sentiments and manner, she was convinced it was an attachment of the purest nature. She carefully concealed77 her thoughts, however, affected78 to enter into all the alarms of the marchioness, and, as she saw she was expected to do, promised all in her power should be done for discovering what attachment subsisted79 between his lordship and Miss Fitzalan. For this purpose she began to grow constant in her visits at Castle Carberry, often[Pg 192] spending whole days in the most familiar manner with Amanda, and endeavoring, by various methods, to beguile80 her of the secrets of her heart. Sometimes she rallied her on her melancholy81; sometimes expressed pity for it in strains of the most soothing82 tenderness; would frequently relate little fictitious83 and embellished84 anecdotes85 of her own youth, in which she said she had suffered the most exquisite86 misery, from an unfortunate entanglement87; would then advert88 to Lord Mortimer; express her wonder at his precipitate departure, and her admiration of his virtues89, declaring if ever Lady Euphrasia gained his heart, which she much doubted, she must be considered as one of the most fortunate of women.
Delicacy90 sealed the lips of Amanda and guarded her secret. She believed her passion to be hopeless, and felt that to be offered consolation91 on such a subject, would, to her feelings, be truly humiliating. But though she could command her words, she could not her feelings, and they were visibly expressed in her countenance. She blushed whenever Lord Mortimer was mentioned; looked shocked if a union between him and Lady Euphrasia was hinted at; and smiled if a probability was suggested of its never taking place. Lady Greystock, at last, relinquished her attempts at betraying Amanda into a confession92 of her sentiments; indeed, she thought such a confession not very requisite93, as her countenance pretty clearly developed what they were; and she deemed herself authorized94 to inform the marchioness that she was sure something had passed between Lord Mortimer and Amanda, though what she could not discover, from the circumspection95 of the latter. The marchioness was enraged96, and more determined97 than ever on involving Amanda in destruction, if Lord Mortimer hesitated a moment in obeying the wishes of his father, by uniting himself to Lady Euphrasia.
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1
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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surmises
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| v.臆测，推断( surmise的第三人称单数 )；揣测；猜想 | |
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candid
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| adj.公正的，正直的；坦率的 | |
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motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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5
precipitate
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| adj.突如其来的；vt.使突然发生；n.沉淀物 | |
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reconciliation
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| n.和解，和谐，一致 | |
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7
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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8
nun
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| n.修女，尼姑 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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10
enveloped
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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11
desolate
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| adj.荒凉的，荒芜的；孤独的，凄凉的；v.使荒芜，使孤寂 | |
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12
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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13
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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14
embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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15
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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16
disorder
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| n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调 | |
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17
depicted
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| 描绘，描画( depict的过去式和过去分词 )； 描述 | |
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18
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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19
pensive
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| a.沉思的,哀思的,忧沉的 | |
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20
unwillingly
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| adv.不情愿地 | |
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21
eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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22
languor
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| n.无精力，倦怠 | |
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23
modesty
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| n.谦逊，虚心，端庄，稳重，羞怯，朴素 | |
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24
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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25
maliciously
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| adv.有敌意地 | |
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26
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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27
lessened
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| 减少的，减弱的 | |
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28
lessen
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| vt.减少，减轻；缩小 | |
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29
resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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30
averse
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| adj.厌恶的；反对的，不乐意的 | |
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31
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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32
feverish
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| adj.发烧的，狂热的，兴奋的 | |
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33
pervaded
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| v.遍及，弥漫( pervade的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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34
lodge
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| v.临时住宿，寄宿，寄存，容纳；n.传达室，小旅馆 | |
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35
relinquish
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| v.放弃，撤回，让与，放手 | |
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relinquished
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| 交出，让给( relinquish的过去式和过去分词 )； 放弃 | |
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37
accounting
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| n.会计，会计学，借贷对照表 | |
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38
candor
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| n.坦白，率真 | |
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39
dictate
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| v.口授；(使)听写；指令，指示，命令 | |
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40
converse
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| vi.谈话，谈天，闲聊；adv.相反的，相反 | |
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41
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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42
barge
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| n.平底载货船，驳船 | |
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43
frigate
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| n.护航舰，大型驱逐舰 | |
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44
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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45
destined
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| adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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46
ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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47
receded
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| v.逐渐远离( recede的过去式和过去分词 )；向后倾斜；自原处后退或避开别人的注视；尤指问题 | |
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48
riveted
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| 铆接( rivet的过去式和过去分词 )； 把…固定住； 吸引； 引起某人的注意 | |
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49
mortified
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| v.使受辱( mortify的过去式和过去分词 )；伤害（人的感情）；克制；抑制（肉体、情感等） | |
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50
promising
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| adj.有希望的，有前途的 | |
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51
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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52
alteration
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| n.变更，改变；蚀变 | |
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53
contemplate
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| vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视 | |
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54
infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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56
brook
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| n.小河，溪；v.忍受，容让 | |
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57
abetting
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| v.教唆（犯罪）( abet的现在分词 )；煽动；怂恿；支持 | |
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58
insidious
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| adj.阴险的，隐匿的，暗中为害的，（疾病）不知不觉之间加剧 | |
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entangle
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| vt.缠住，套住；卷入，连累 | |
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implicit
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| a.暗示的，含蓄的，不明晰的，绝对的 | |
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esteem
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| n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作 | |
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hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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withdrawn
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| vt.收回；使退出；vi.撤退，退出 | |
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indigent
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| adj.贫穷的，贫困的 | |
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dire
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| adj.可怕的，悲惨的，阴惨的，极端的 | |
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elegance
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| n.优雅；优美，雅致；精致，巧妙 | |
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garb
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| n.服装，装束 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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pretext
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| n.借口，托词 | |
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intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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haughtiness
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| n.傲慢；傲气 | |
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72
overtures
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| n.主动的表示，提议；（向某人做出的）友好表示、姿态或提议( overture的名词复数 )；（歌剧、芭蕾舞、音乐剧等的）序曲，前奏曲 | |
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conspicuous
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| adj.明眼的，惹人注目的；炫耀的，摆阔气的 | |
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egregious
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| adj.非常的，过分的 | |
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secrecy
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| n.秘密，保密，隐蔽 | |
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dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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77
concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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subsisted
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| v.（靠很少的钱或食物）维持生活，生存下去( subsist的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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beguile
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| vt.欺骗，消遣 | |
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81
melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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82
soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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fictitious
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| adj.虚构的，假设的；空头的 | |
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embellished
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| v.美化( embellish的过去式和过去分词 )；装饰；修饰；润色 | |
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85
anecdotes
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| n.掌故，趣闻，轶事( anecdote的名词复数 ) | |
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86
exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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87
entanglement
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| n.纠缠，牵累 | |
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advert
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| vi.注意，留意，言及；n.广告 | |
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89
virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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90
delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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91
consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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92
confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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93
requisite
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| adj.需要的，必不可少的；n.必需品 | |
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94
authorized
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| a.委任的，许可的 | |
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circumspection
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| n.细心，慎重 | |
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96
enraged
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| 使暴怒( enrage的过去式和过去分词 )； 歜； 激愤 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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