By some rude blast torn from the parent tree!
The daffodil so leans his languid head,
Experience convinced Amanda that the change in her situation was, if possible, more pleasing than she expected it would be. Mrs. Duncan was the kindest and most attentive2 of friends. Mrs. Bruce was civil and obliging, and her little pupils were docile3 and affectionate. Could she have avoided retrospection, she would have been happy; but the remembrance of past events was too deeply impressed upon her mind to be erased4; it mingled5 in the visions of the night, in the avocations6 of the day, and in the meditations7 of her lonely hours, forcing from her heart the sighs of regret and tenderness. Her mornings were devoted8 to her pupils, and in the evenings she sometimes walked with Mrs. Duncan, sometimes read aloud whilst she and her aunt were working; but whenever they were engaged in chatting about family affairs, or at a game of piquet (which was often the case), as Mrs. Bruce neither loved walking nor working, she always took that opportunity of retiring from the room, and either rambled9 through the dark and intricate windings10 of the Abbey, or about the grounds contiguous to it. She sighed whenever she passed the chapel11 which contained the picture of her mother; it was in a ruinous condition, but a thick foliage12 of ivy13 partly hid while it proclaimed its decay; the windows were broken in many places, but all too high to admit the possibility of her gaining admittance through them, and the door was strongly secured by massy bars of iron, as was every door which had a communication with the eastern part of the Abbey. A fortnight passed away at the Abbey without anything happening to disturb the tranquillity14 which reigned15 in it. No one approached it, except a few of the wandering chil[Pg 417]dren of poverty, and its inhabitants seemed perfectly16 content with their seclusion17 from the world. Amanda, by Mrs. Duncan’s desire, had told Mrs. Dermot to direct her letters to a town about five miles from the Abbey; thither18 a man went every day, but constantly returned without one for her.
“Why,” she asked herself, “this anxiety for a letter, this disappointment at not receiving one, when I neither expect to hear anything interesting or agreeable? Mrs. Dermot has already said she had no means of hearing about Lord Mortimer; and, even if she had, why should I desire such intelligence, torn as I am from him forever?”
At the expiration19 of another week an incident happened, which again destroyed the composure of our heroine. Mrs. Bruce one morning hastily entered the room, where she and Mrs. Duncan were sitting with the little girls, and begged they would not stir from it till she had told them to do so, as the Marquis of Roslin’s steward20 was below stairs, and if he knew of their residence at the Abbey, she was confident he would reveal it to his lord, which she had no doubt would occasion her own dismission from it. The ladies assured her they would not leave the apartment, and she retired21, leaving them astonished at the agitation22 she betrayed.
In about two hours she returned, and said she came to release them from confinement23, as the steward had departed. “He has brought unexpected intelligence,” said she; “the marquis and his family are coming down to the castle. The season is so far advanced, I did not suppose they would visit it till next summer; I must, therefore,” continued she, addressing her niece, “send to the neighboring town to procure24 lodgings25 for you till the family leave the country, as no doubt some of them will come to the Abbey, and to find you in it would, I can assure you, be attended with unpleasant consequences to me.”
Mrs. Duncan begged she would not suffer the least uneasiness on her account, and proposed that very day leaving the Abbey. “No,” Mrs. Bruce replied, “there is no necessity for quitting it for a few days longer; the family,” continued she, “are coming down upon a joyful26 occasion, to celebrate the nuptials27 of the marquis’s daughter, Lady Euphrasia Sutherland.” “Lady Euphrasia’s nuptials!” exclaimed Amanda, in an agitated28 voice, and forgetting her own situation. “To whom is she going to be married?” “To Lord Mortimer,” Mrs. Bruce replied, “the Earl of Cherbury’s only son; a very fine young man. I am told the affair has been long talked of; but——" Here she was interrupted by a deep sigh, or rather groan,[Pg 418] from the unfortunate Amanda, who at the same moment fell back in her chair, pale and without motion. Mrs. Duncan screamed, and flew to her assistance. Mrs. Bruce, equally frightened, though less affected29, ran for restoratives, and the children clasped her knees and wept. From her pensive30 look and manner, Mrs. Duncan suspected, from their first acquaintance, that her heart had experienced a disappointment of the tenderest nature. Her little girls, too, had told her that they had seen Miss Donald crying over a picture. Her suspicions concerning such a disappointment were now confirmed by the sudden emotion and illness of Amanda. But she had all the delicacy31 which belongs to true sensibility, and determined32 never to let Amanda know she conjectured33 the source of her sorrows, certain as she was that they had never originated from any misconduct.
Mrs. Bruce’s drops restored Amanda’s senses; but she felt weak and trembling, and begged she might be supported to her room, to lie down on the bed. Mrs. Bruce and Mrs. Duncan accordingly led her to it. The former almost immediately retired, and the tears of Amanda now burst forth34. She wept a long time without intermission; and as soon as her sobs35 would permit her to speak, begged Mrs. Duncan to leave her to herself. Mrs. Duncan knew too well the luxury of secret grief to deny her the enjoyment36 of so melancholy37 a feast, and directly withdrew.
The wretched Amanda then asked herself, “if she had not known before that the sacrifice she made Lord Cherbury would lead to the event she now regretted?” It was true she did know it. But whenever an idea of its taking place occurred, she had so sedulously38 driven it from her mind, that she at last almost ceased to think about it. Were he to be united to any other woman than Lady Euphrasia, she thought she would not be so wretched. “Oh, Mortimer! beloved of my soul!” she cried, “were you going to be united to a woman sensible of your worth, and worthy39 of your noble heart, in the knowledge of your happiness my misery40 would be lessened41. But what a union of misery must minds so uncongenial as yours and Lady Euphrasia’s form! Alas42! am I not wretched enough in contemplating43 my own prospect44 of unhappiness, but that yours, also, must be obtruded45 upon me? Yet perhaps,” she continued, “the evils that I dread46 on Lord Mortimer’s account may be averted47. Oh, that they may!” said she, with fervor48, and raising her hands and eyes. “Soften49, gracious Heaven! soften the flinty nature of Lady Euphrasia. Oh, render her sensible of[Pg 419] the blessing50 you bestow51 in giving her Lord Mortimer! and render her not only capable of inspiring, but of feeling tenderness. May she prove to him the tender friend, the faithful, the affectionate companion the unfortunate Amanda would have been! Oh, may she build her happiness on his! and may his be great as his virtues—extensive as his charities! and may the knowledge of it soothe52 my afflicted53 heart!”
Her spirits were a little elevated by the fervency54 of her language. But it was a transient elevation55. The flush it spread over her cheeks soon died away, and her tears again began to flow. “Alas!” she cried, “in a few days it will be criminal to think of Lord Mortimer as I have hitherto done; and I shall blush,” continued she, gazing at his picture, “to contemplate56 this dear shadow, when I reflect its original is the husband of Lady Euphrasia.”
The dinner-bell now sounded through the Abbey, and almost at the same minute she heard a tap at her door. She started, and reflected for the first time that her deep dejection would naturally excite suspicions as to its source, if longer indulged. Shocked at the idea of incurring57 them, she hastily wiped away her tears, and opening the door, found her friend Mrs. Duncan at it, who begged she would come down to dinner. Amanda did not refuse, but was obliged to use the supporting arm of her friend to reach the parlor58. She could not eat. With difficulty could she restrain her tears, or answer the inquiries59 Mrs. Bruce made, after what she supposed a mere60 bodily indisposition. She forced herself, however, to continue in the parlor till after tea, when cards being produced, she had an opportunity of going out, and indulging her anguish61 without fear of interruption. Unable, however, to walk far, she repaired to the old chapel, and sitting down by it, leaned her head against its decayed and ivy-covered walls. She had scarcely sat in this manner a minute, when the stones gave way, with a noise which terrified her, and she would have fallen backwards62 had she not caught at some projecting wood. She hastily rose, and found that the ivy entirely63 concealed64 the breach65. She examined it, however, and perceived it large enough to admit her into the chapel. A sudden pleasure pervaded66 her heart at the idea of being able to enter it, and examine the picture she had so long wished to behold67. There was nothing to oppose her entrance but the ivy. This she parted with difficulty, but so as not to strip it from the wall, and after stepping over the fallen rubbish, she found herself in the body of the chapel. The silent hour of twilight68 was now advanced, but the moonbeams that darted[Pg 420] through the broken roof prevented the chapel from being involved in utter darkness. Already had the owls69 begun their strains of melancholy on its mouldering70 pillars, while the ravens71 croaked72 amongst the luxuriant trees that rustled73 round it. Dusty and moth-eaten banners were suspended from the walls, and rusty74 casques, shields, and spears were promiscuously75 heaped together, the useless armor of those over whose remains76 Amanda now trod with a light and trembling foot. She looked for the picture, and perceived one reclined against the wall near the altar. She wiped away the dust, and perceived this was indeed the one she sought, the one her father had so often described to her. The light was too imperfect for her to distinguish the features, and she resolved, if possible, to come at an earlier hour the ensuing evening. She felt impressed with reverential awe77 as she stood before it. She recollected78 the pathetic manner in which her father had mentioned his emotions as he gazed upon it, and her tears began to flow for the disastrous79 fate of her parents and her own. She sunk in an agony of grief, which mournful remembrances and present calamities80 excited, upon the steps of that altar, where Fitzalan and Malvina had plighted81 their irrevocable vows82. She leaned her arm on the rails, but her face was turned to the picture, as if it could see and would pity her distress83. She remained in this situation till the striking of the Abbey clock warned her to depart. In going towards the entrance she perceived a small arched door at the opposite side. As the apartments Lady Malvina had occupied were in this part of the building, she resolved on visiting them before she left the Abbey, lest the breach in the wall should be discovered ere she returned to it. She returned to the parlor ere the ladies had finished their game of piquet, and the next evening, immediately after tea, repaired to the chapel, leaving them engaged as usual at cards. She stood a few minutes before it, to see if any one was near; but perceiving no object she again entered it. She had now sufficient light to examine the picture; though faded by the damp, it yet retained that loveliness for which its original was so admired, and which Amanda had so often heard eloquently84 described by her father. She contemplated85 it with awe and pity. Her heart swelled86 with the emotions it excited, and gave way to its feelings in tears. To weep before the shade of her mother, seemed to assuage87 the bitterness of those feelings. She pronounced the name of her parents, she called herself their wretched orphan88, a stranger, and a dependant89 in the mansion90 of her ancestors. She pro[Pg 421]nounced the name of Lord Mortimer in the impassioned accents of tenderness and distress. As she thus indulged the sorrows of her soul in tears and lamentations, she suddenly heard a faint noise, like an advancing footstep near her. She started up, for she had been kneeling before her mother’s picture, terrified lest her visit to the chapel had been discovered, which she knew, if the case, would mortally disoblige Mrs. Bruce, though why she should be so averse91 to any one’s visiting it she could not conceive. She listened in trembling anxiety a few minutes. All again was still, and she returned to the parlor, where she found the ladies as she had left them, determined, notwithstanding her late fright, to return the next evening to the chapel, and visit the apartments that were her mother’s.
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1
grassy
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| adj.盖满草的；长满草的 | |
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2
attentive
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| adj.注意的，专心的；关心(别人)的，殷勤的 | |
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3
docile
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| adj.驯服的，易控制的，容易教的 | |
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4
erased
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| v.擦掉( erase的过去式和过去分词 )；抹去；清除 | |
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5
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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6
avocations
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| n.业余爱好，嗜好( avocation的名词复数 )；职业 | |
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7
meditations
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| 默想( meditation的名词复数 )； 默念； 沉思； 冥想 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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9
rambled
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| （无目的地）漫游( ramble的过去式和过去分词 )； （喻）漫谈； 扯淡； 长篇大论 | |
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10
windings
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| （道路、河流等）蜿蜒的，弯曲的( winding的名词复数 )； 缠绕( wind的现在分词 )； 卷绕； 转动（把手） | |
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11
chapel
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| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
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12
foliage
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| n.叶子，树叶，簇叶 | |
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13
ivy
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| n.常青藤，常春藤 | |
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14
tranquillity
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| n. 平静, 安静 | |
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15
reigned
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| vi.当政，统治（reign的过去式形式） | |
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16
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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17
seclusion
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| n.隐遁，隔离 | |
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18
thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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19
expiration
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| n.终结，期满，呼气，呼出物 | |
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20
steward
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| n.乘务员，服务员；看管人；膳食管理员 | |
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21
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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22
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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23
confinement
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| n.幽禁，拘留，监禁；分娩；限制，局限 | |
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24
procure
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| vt.获得，取得，促成；vi.拉皮条 | |
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25
lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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26
joyful
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| adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的 | |
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27
nuptials
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| n.婚礼；婚礼( nuptial的名词复数 ) | |
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28
agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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30
pensive
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| a.沉思的,哀思的,忧沉的 | |
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31
delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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32
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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33
conjectured
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| 推测，猜测，猜想( conjecture的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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34
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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35
sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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36
enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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37
melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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38
sedulously
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| ad.孜孜不倦地 | |
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39
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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40
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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41
lessened
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| 减少的，减弱的 | |
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42
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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43
contemplating
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| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
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44
prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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45
obtruded
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| v.强行向前，强行，强迫( obtrude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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46
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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47
averted
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| 防止，避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 )； 转移 | |
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48
fervor
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| n.热诚；热心；炽热 | |
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49
soften
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| v.(使)变柔软；(使)变柔和 | |
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50
blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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51
bestow
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| v.把…赠与，把…授予；花费 | |
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52
soothe
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| v.安慰；使平静；使减轻；缓和；奉承 | |
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53
afflicted
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| 使受痛苦，折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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54
fervency
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| n.热情的；强烈的；热烈 | |
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55
elevation
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| n.高度；海拔；高地；上升；提高 | |
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56
contemplate
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| vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视 | |
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57
incurring
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| 遭受，招致，引起( incur的现在分词 ) | |
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58
parlor
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| n.店铺，营业室；会客室，客厅 | |
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59
inquiries
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| n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 )；疑问；探究；打听 | |
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60
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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61
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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62
backwards
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| adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地 | |
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63
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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64
concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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65
breach
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| n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破 | |
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66
pervaded
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| v.遍及，弥漫( pervade的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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67
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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68
twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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69
owls
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| n.猫头鹰( owl的名词复数 ) | |
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70
mouldering
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| v.腐朽( moulder的现在分词 )；腐烂，崩塌 | |
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71
ravens
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| n.低质煤；渡鸦( raven的名词复数 ) | |
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72
croaked
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| v.呱呱地叫( croak的过去式和过去分词 )；用粗的声音说 | |
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73
rustled
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| v.发出沙沙的声音( rustle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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74
rusty
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| adj.生锈的；锈色的；荒废了的 | |
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75
promiscuously
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| adv.杂乱地，混杂地 | |
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76
remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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77
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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78
recollected
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| adj.冷静的；镇定的；被回忆起的；沉思默想的v.记起，想起( recollect的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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79
disastrous
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| adj.灾难性的，造成灾害的；极坏的，很糟的 | |
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80
calamities
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| n.灾祸，灾难( calamity的名词复数 )；不幸之事 | |
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81
plighted
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| vt.保证，约定（plight的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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82
vows
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| 誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿 | |
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83
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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84
eloquently
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| adv. 雄辩地(有口才地, 富于表情地) | |
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85
contemplated
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| adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式 | |
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86
swelled
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| 增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 )； 肿胀； （使）凸出； 充满（激情） | |
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87
assuage
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| v.缓和，减轻，镇定 | |
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88
orphan
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| n.孤儿；adj.无父母的 | |
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89
dependant
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| n.依靠的，依赖的，依赖他人生活者 | |
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90
mansion
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| n.大厦，大楼；宅第 | |
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91
averse
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| adj.厌恶的；反对的，不乐意的 | |
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