CHAPTER XIV

 Brook¹ Johnstone had gone to his room when he had left his father, and was hastily packing his belongings², for he had made up his mind to leave Amalfi at once without consulting anybody. It is a special advantage of places where there is no railway that one can go away at a moment’s notice, without waiting tedious hours for a train. Brook did not hesitate, for it seemed to him the only right thing to do, after Clare’s refusal, and after what his father had told him. If she had loved him, he would have stayed in spite of every opposition³. If he had never been told her mother’s history, he would have stayed and would have tried to make her love him. As it was, he set his teeth and said to himself that he would suffer a good deal rather than do anything more to win the heart of Mrs. Bowring’s daughter. He would get over it somehow in the end. He fancied Clare’s horror if she should ever know the truth, and his fear of hurting her was as strong as his love. He made no phrases to himself, and he thought   of nothing theatrical⁴ which he should like to say. He just set his teeth and packed his clothes alone. Possibly he swore rather unmercifully at the coat which would not fit into the right place, and at the starched⁵ shirt-cuffs which would not lie flat until he smashed them out of shape with unsteady hands.

 

When he was ready, he wrote a few words to Clare. He said that he was going away immediately, and that it would be very kind of her to let him say good-bye. He sent the note by a servant, and waited in the corridor at a distance from her door.

 

A moment later she came out, very pale.

 

“You are not really going, are you?” she asked, with wide and startled eyes. “You can’t be in earnest?”

 

“I’m all ready,” he answered, nodding slowly. “It’s much better. I only wanted to say good-bye, you know. It’s awfully⁶ kind of you to come out.”

 

“Oh—I wouldn’t have—” but she checked herself, and glanced up and down the long corridor. “We can’t talk here,” she added.

 

“It’s so hot outside,” said Brook, remembering how she had complained of the heat an hour earlier.

 

“Oh no—I mean—it’s no matter. I’d rather go out for a moment.”

 

  She began to walk towards the door while she was speaking. They reached it in silence, and went out into the blazing sun. Clare had Brook’s note still in her hand, and held it up to shield the glare from the side of her face as they crossed the platform. Then she realised that she had brought him to the very spot whereon he had said good-bye to Lady Fan. She stopped, and he stood still beside her.

 

“Not here,” she said.

 

“No—not here,” he answered.

 

“There’s too much sun—really,” said she, as the colour rose faintly in her cheeks.

 

“It’s only to say good-bye,” Brook answered sadly. “I shall always remember you just as you are now—with the sun shining on your hair.”

 

It was so bright that it dazzled him as he looked. In spite of the heat she did not move, and their eyes met.

 

“Mr. Johnstone,” Clare began, “please stay. Please don’t let me feel that I have sent you away.” There was a shade of timidity in the tone, and the eyes seemed brave enough to say something more. Brook hesitated.

 

“Well—no—it isn’t that exactly. I’ve heard something—my father has told me something since I saw you—”

 

He stopped short and looked down.

 

 

“What have you heard?” she asked. “Something dreadful about us?”

 

“About us all—about him, principally. I can’t tell you. I really can’t.”

 

“About him—and my mother? That they were married and separated?”

 

The steady innocent eyes had waited for him to look up again. He started as he heard her words.

 

“You don’t mean to say that you know it too?” he cried. “Who has dared to tell you?”

 

“My mother—she was quite right. It’s wrong to hide such things—she ought to have told me at once. Why shouldn’t I have known it?”

 

“Doesn’t it seem horrible to you? Don’t you dislike me more than ever?”

 

“No. Why should I? It wasn’t your fault. What has it to do with you? Or with me? Is that the reason why you are going away so suddenly?”

 

Brook stared at her in surprise, and the dawn of returning gladness was in his face for a moment.

 

“We have a right to live, whatever they did in their day,” said Clare. “There is no reason why you should go away like this, at a moment’s notice.”

 

With an older woman he would have understood   the first time, but he did not dare to understand Clare, nor to guess that there was anything to be understood.

 

“Of course we have a right to live,” he answered, in a constrained⁷ tone. “But that does not mean that I may stay here and make your life a burden. So I’m going away. It was quite different before I knew all this. Please don’t stay out here—you’ll get a sunstroke. I only wanted to say good-bye.”

 

Man-like, having his courage at the striking-point, he wished to get it all over quickly and be off. The colour sank from Clare’s face again, and she stood quite still for a moment, looking at him. “Good-bye,” he said, holding out his hand, and trying hard to smile a little.

 

Clare looked at him still, but her hand did not meet his, though he waited, holding it out to her. Her face hardened as though she were making an effort, then softened⁸ again, and still he waited.

 

“Won’t you say good-bye to me?” he asked unsteadily.

 

She hesitated a moment longer.

 

“No!” she answered suddenly. “I—I can’t!”

 

And here the story comes to its conclusion, as many stories out of the lives of men and   women seem to end at what is only their turning-point. For real life has no conclusion but real death, and that is a sad ending to a tale, and one which may as well be left to the imagination when it is possible.

 

Stories of strange things, which really occur, very rarely have what used to be called a “moral” either. All sorts of things happen to people who afterwards go on living just the same, neither much better nor much worse than they were in the beginning. The story is a slice, as it were, cut from the most interesting part of a life, generally at the point where that life most closely touches another, so that the future of the two momentarily depends upon each separately, and upon both together. The happiness or unhappiness of both, for a long time to come, is founded upon the action of each just at those moments. And sometimes, as in the tale here told, the least promising⁹ of all the persons concerned is the one who helps matters out. The only logical thing about life is the certainty that it must end. If there were any logic¹⁰ at all about what goes between birth and death, men would have found it out long ago, and we should all know how to live as soon as we leave school; whereas we spend our lives under Fate’s ruler, trying to understand, while she raps us over the knuckles¹¹ every other   minute because we cannot learn our lesson and sit up straight, and be good without being prigs, and do right without sticking it through other people’s peace of mind as one sticks a pin through a butterfly.

The End
 

1 brook   

n.小河，溪；v.忍受，容让

参考例句：

• In our room we could hear the murmur of a distant brook.在我们房间能听到远处小溪汩汩的流水声。
• The brook trickled through the valley.小溪涓涓流过峡谷。

2 belongings   

n.私人物品，私人财物

参考例句：

• I put a few personal belongings in a bag.我把几件私人物品装进包中。
• Your personal belongings are not dutiable.个人物品不用纳税。

3 opposition   

n.反对，敌对

参考例句：

• The party leader is facing opposition in his own backyard.该党领袖在自己的党內遇到了反对。
• The police tried to break down the prisoner's opposition.警察设法制住了那个囚犯的反抗。

4 theatrical   

adj.剧场的，演戏的；做戏似的，做作的

参考例句：

• The final scene was dismayingly lacking in theatrical effect.最后一场缺乏戏剧效果，叫人失望。
• She always makes some theatrical gesture.她老在做些夸张的手势。

5 starched   

adj.浆硬的，硬挺的，拘泥刻板的v.把（衣服、床单等）浆一浆( starch的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• My clothes are not starched enough. 我的衣服浆得不够硬。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• The ruffles on his white shirt were starched and clean. 白衬衫的褶边浆过了，很干净。 来自辞典例句

6 awfully   

adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地

参考例句：

• Agriculture was awfully neglected in the past.过去农业遭到严重忽视。
• I've been feeling awfully bad about it.对这我一直感到很难受。

7 constrained   

adj.束缚的,节制的

参考例句：

• The evidence was so compelling that he felt constrained to accept it. 证据是那样的令人折服，他觉得不得不接受。
• I feel constrained to write and ask for your forgiveness. 我不得不写信请你原谅。

8 softened   

（使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰

参考例句：

• His smile softened slightly. 他的微笑稍柔和了些。
• The ice cream softened and began to melt. 冰淇淋开始变软并开始融化。

9 promising   

adj.有希望的，有前途的

参考例句：

• The results of the experiments are very promising.实验的结果充满了希望。
• We're trying to bring along one or two promising young swimmers.我们正设法培养出一两名有前途的年轻游泳选手。

10 logic   

n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性

参考例句：

• What sort of logic is that?这是什么逻辑？
• I don't follow the logic of your argument.我不明白你的论点逻辑性何在。

11 knuckles   

n.（指人）指关节( knuckle的名词复数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝v.（指人）指关节( knuckle的第三人称单数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝

参考例句：

• He gripped the wheel until his knuckles whitened. 他紧紧握住方向盘，握得指关节都变白了。
• Her thin hands were twisted by swollen knuckles. 她那双纤手因肿大的指关节而变了形。 来自《简明英汉词典》