"I know you like bright colours, my Millie," she said, "so I can't think what you can object to in this pink. I think it's a pet of a colour."
"Pink isn't right for a dining-room," said Millie. (She had not slept during the preceding night and was feeling in no very amiable1 temper.)
"Not right for a dining-room?" Victoria repeated. "Why, Major Mereward said it was just the thing."
"You know perfectly2 well," answered Millie, "that in the first place Major Mereward has no taste, and that secondly3 he always says whatever you want him to say."
"No taste! Why, I think his taste is splendid! Certainly he's not artistic4 like Mr. Bennett, who may be said to have a little too much taste sometimes——
"But, dear me, that was a lovely dinner he gave us at the Carlton last night. Now wasn't it? You can't deny it although you are prejudiced——"
"That you gave, you mean," Millie snorted. "Yes, I daresay he likes nothing better than ordering the best dinners possible at other people's expense. He's quite ready, I'm sure, to go on doing that to the end of his time."
Victoria forgot her silks and looked up at her young friend.
"Why, Millie, what has come to you lately? You're not at all as you used to be. You're always speaking contemptuously of people nowadays. And you're not looking well. You're tired, darling——"
[Pg 260]
"Oh, I'm all right," Millie moved impatiently away. "You know I hate that man. He's vulgar, coarse and selfish."
Victoria was offended.
"You've no right to speak of my friends that way. . . . But I'm not going to be cross with you. No, I'm not. You're tired and not yourself. Dr. Brooker was saying so only yesterday."
Victoria looked as suddenly distressed6 as a small child whose doll has been taken away.
"I can't make you out, Millie. There's something making you unhappy."
She looked up with a touching7, anxious expression at the girl, whose face was dark with some stormy trouble that seemed only to bring out her loveliness the more, but was far indeed from the happy, careless child Victoria had once known.
Millie's face changed. She suddenly flung herself down at her friend's feet.
"Victoria, darling, I don't want you to marry that man. No, I don't, I don't indeed. He's a bad man, bad in every way. He only wants your money: he doesn't even pretend to want anything else. And when he's got that he'll treat you so badly that you'll be utterly8 wretched. You know yourself you will. Oh, don't marry him, don't, don't, don't!"
Victoria's face was a curious mixture of offended pride and tender affection.
"There, there, my Millie. Don't you worry. Whoever said I was going to marry him? At the same time it isn't quite true to say that he only cares for my money. I think he has a real liking9 for myself. You haven't heard all the things he's said. After all, I know him better than you do, Millie dear, and I'm older than you as well. Yes, and you're prejudiced. You never liked him from the first. He has his faults, of course, but so have we all. He's quite frank about it. He's told me his life hasn't been all that it should have been, but he's older now and wiser. He wants to settle down with some one whom he can really respect."
"Respect!" Millie broke out. "He doesn't respect any one. He's an adventurer. He says he is. Oh, don't you see how[Pg 261] unhappy you'll be? You with your warm heart. He'll break it in half a day."
Victoria sighed. "Perhaps he will. Perhaps I'm not so blind as you think. But at least I'll have something first. I've been an old maid so long. I want—I want——" She brushed her eyes with her hand. "It's foolish a woman of my age talking like this—but age doesn't, as it ought, make as much difference."
"But you can have all that," Millie cried. "The Major's a good man and he does care for you, and he'd want to marry you even though you hadn't a penny. I know he seems a little dull, but we can put up with people's dullness if their heart's right. It seems to me just now," she said, staring away across the little sunlit room, "that nothing matters in a man beside his honesty and his good heart. If you can't trust——"
Victoria felt that the girl was trembling. She put her arms closer around her and drew her nearer.
"Millie, darling, what's the matter? Tell me. Aren't you happy? Tell me. I can't bear you to be unhappy. What does it matter what happens to a silly old woman like me? I've only got a few more years to live in any case. But you, so lovely, with all your life in front of you. . . . Tell me, darling——"
Millie shivered. "Never mind about me, Victoria. Things aren't easy. He won't tell me the truth. I could stand anything if only he wouldn't lie to me. I ought to leave him, I suppose—give him up. But I love him—I love him so terribly."
She did, what was so rare with her, what Victoria had never seen her do before, she burst into a passion of tears, sobbing—"I love him—and I oughtn't to—and every day I love him more."
"Oh, my dear—I'm afraid it is a great deal my fault. I should have stopped it before it went so far—but indeed I never knew that it was on until it was over. And I liked him—I see now that I was wrong, but I'm not perhaps very clever about people——"
"No, no," Millie jumped to her feet. "You're not to say a word against him. You're not indeed. It's myself who's to blame for things being as they are. I should have been stronger and forced him to take me to his mother. I despise myself. I[Pg 262] who thought I was so strong. But we quarrel, and then I'm sorry, and then we quarrel again."
She smiled, wiping her eyes. "Dear Victoria, I'm not so fine as I thought myself—that's all. You see I've never been in love before. It will come right. It must come right——"
"I'll go down now and get on with those letters. You're a darling—too good to me by far."
"I'm a silly old woman," Victoria said, shaking her head. "But I do wish you liked the pink, Millie dear. It will be so nice at night with the lights—so gay."
"We'll have it then," said Millie. "After all, it's your house, isn't it?"
"Why——" Her face flushed with pleasure. How could she help loving him when every inch of him called to her, and touched her with pity and pride and longing12 and wonder?
"I've come," he began rather sulkily, not looking at her but out of the window, "to apologize for last night. I shouldn't have said what I did. I'm sorry."
How strange that now, when only a moment ago she had loved him so that most likely she would have died for him, the sound of his sulky voice should harden her with a curious, almost impersonal13 hostility14.
"No need to apologize," she said lightly, sitting down at her desk and turning over the letters. "You weren't very nice last night, but last night's last night and this morning's this morning."
"Oh well," he said angrily, still not looking at her, "for the matter of that you weren't especially charming yourself; but of course it's always my fault."
"Need we have it all over again?" she said, her heart beating, her head hot, as though some one were trying to enclose it in a bag. "If I was nasty I'm sorry, and you say you're sorry—so that's over."
He turned towards her angrily. "Of course—if that's all you have to say——" he began.
The door opened and Ellen came in.
[Pg 263]
Millie had then the curious sensation of having passed through, not very long ago, the scene that was now coming. She saw Ellen's thin body, the faded, grey, old-fashioned dress, the sharply cut, pale face with the indignant, protesting eyes; she saw Bunny's sudden turn towards the door, his face hardening as he realized his old and unrelenting enemy, then the quick half-turn that he made towards Millie as though he needed her protection. That touched her, but again strangely she was for a moment outside this, a spectator of the sun-drenched room, of the silly pictures on the wall, of the desk with the litter of papers that even now she was still mechanically handling. Outside it and beyond it, so that she was able to say to herself, "And now Ellen will move to that far window, she'll brush that chair with her skirt, and now she'll say: 'Good-morning, Mr. Baxter. I won't apologize for interrupting because I've wanted this chance—— '"
"Good-morning, Mr. Baxter," Ellen said, turning from the window towards them both with the funny jerky movement that was so especially hers. "I won't apologize for interrupting because I've wanted this chance of speaking to you both together for some time."
Then, at the actual sound of her voice, Millie was pushed in, right in—and with that immersion15 there was a sudden desperate desire to keep Ellen off, not to hear on any account what she had to say, to postpone16 it, to answer Bunny's appeal, to do anything rather than to allow things to go as she saw in Ellen's eyes that woman intended them to go.
Standing18 up by the desk she realized the power that her looks had upon Ellen—her miserable19, wretched looks that mattered nothing to her, less than nothing to her at all. She did not realize though that the tears that she had been shedding in Victoria's room had given her eyes a new lustre20, that her cheeks were touched to colour with her quarrel with Bunny, and that she stood there holding herself like a young queen—young indeed both in her courage and her fear, in her loyalty21 and her scorn.
[Pg 264]
Ellen stared at her as though she were seeing her for the first time.
"Oh well——" she said, suddenly dropping her eyes and turning as though she would go. Then she stopped. "No, why should I? After all, it's for your good that you should know . . . this can't go on. I care for you enough to see that it shan't."
Millie came forward into the centre of the room that was warm with the sun and glowing with light. "Look here, Ellen. We don't want a scene. I'm sick of scenes. I seem to have nothing but scenes now, with Bunny and you and Victoria and every one. If you've really got something to say, say it quickly and let's have it over."
Bunny's contribution was to move towards the door. "I'll leave you to it," he said. "Lord, but I'm sick of women. One thing after another. You'd think a man had nothing better to do——"
"No, you don't," said Ellen quickly. "You'll find it will pay you best to stay and listen. It isn't about nothing this time. You've got to take it. You're caught out at last, Mr. Baxter. I don't want to be unfair to you. If you'll promise me on your word of honour to tell Millie everything from first to last about Miss Amery, I'll leave you. If afterwards I find you haven't, I'll supply the missing details. Millie's got to know the truth this time whatever she thinks either of me or of you."
"You dirty spy!" he said. "So you're been down to my village, have you?"
"I have," said Ellen. "I've seen your mother and several other people. Tell Millie the truth and my part of this dirty affair is over."
Millie spoke23: "You've seen his mother, Ellen? What right had you to interfere? What business was it of yours?"
"Oh, you can abuse me," Ellen answered defiantly24. "I'm not here to defend myself. Anyway you can't think worse of me than you seem to. I waited and waited. I thought some one else would do something. I knew that Victoria had heard some of the stories and thought that she would take some steps. I thought that you would yourself, Millie. I fancied that you'd[Pg 265] be too proud to go on month after month in the way you have done, putting up with his lies and shiftings and everything else. At last I could stand it no longer. If no one else would save you I would. I went down to his village in Wiltshire and got the whole story. I told his mother what he was doing. She's coming up to London herself to see you next week."
Millie's eyes were on Bunny and only on him in the whole world. She and he were enclosed in a little room, a blurring25, sun-drenched room that grew with every moment smaller and closer.
"What is this, Bunny?" she said, "that she means? Now at last we'll have the whole story, if you don't mind. What is it that you've been keeping from me all these months?"
He laughed uneasily. "You're not going to pay any attention to a nasty, jealous woman like that, Millie," he said. "We all know what she is and why she's jealous. I knew she'd been raking around for ever so long but I didn't think that even her spite would go so far——"
"But what is it, Bunny?" Millie quietly repeated.
"Why, it's nothing. She's gone to my home and discovered that I was engaged last year to a girl there, a Miss Amery. We broke it off last Christmas, but my mother still wants me to marry her. That's why it's been so difficult all these weeks. But——"
"So you're not going to tell her the truth," interrupted Ellen. "I thought you wouldn't. I just thought you hadn't the pluck. Well, I will do it for you."
"It's lies—all lies, Millie. Whatever she tells you," Bunny broke in. "Send her away, Millie. What has she to do with us? You can ask me anything you like but I'm not going to be cross-questioned with her in the room."
"What is it, Ellen, you've got to say? Bunny is right, you've been spying. That's contemptible27. Nothing can justify28 it. But I'd like to hear what you think you've discovered, and it's better to say it before Mr. Baxter."
Ellen looked at Millie steadily. "I'm thinking only of you, Millie. Not of myself at all. You can hate me ever afterwards[Pg 266] if you like, but one day, all the same, you'll be grateful—and you'll understand, too, how hard it has been for me to do it."
"Well," repeated Millie, scorn filling every word, "what is it that you think you've discovered?"
"Simply this," said Ellen, "that last autumn a girl in Mr. Baxter's village, the daughter of the village schoolmaster—Kate Amery is her name—was engaged secretly to Mr. Baxter. She is to have a baby in two months' time from now, as all the village knows. All the village also knows who is its father. Mr. Baxter has promised his mother to marry the girl.
"His mother insists on this, and until I told her she had no idea that he was involved with any one else."
"A nice kind of story," Bunny broke in furiously. "Just what any old maid would pick up if she went round with her nose in the village mud. It's true, Millie, that I was engaged to this girl last year, and then Christmas-time we saw that we were quite unsuited to one another and we broke it off."
"Is it true," asked Millie quietly, "that your mother says that you're to marry her?"
"My mother's old-fashioned. She thinks that I'm pledged in some way. I'm not pledged at all."
"Is it true that the village thinks that you're the father of this poor girl's child?"
"I don't know what the village thinks. They all hate me there, anyway. They'd say anything to hurt me. Probably this woman's been bribing29 them."
"Oh, poor girl! How old is she?"
"I don't know. Nineteen. Twenty."
"Oh, poor, poor girl! . . . Did you promise your mother that you would marry her?"
"I had to say something. I haven't a penny. My mother would cut me off absolutely if I didn't promise."
"And you've known all this the whole summer?"
"Of course I've known it."
"And not said a word to me?"
"I've tried to tell you. It's been so difficult. You've got such funny ideas about some things. I wasn't going to lose you."
Something he saw in Millie's face startled him. He came[Pg 267] nearer to her. They had both completely forgotten Ellen. She gave Millie one look, then quietly left the room.
"But you must understand, Millie," he began, a new note of almost desperate urgency in his voice. "I've been trying to tell you all the summer. I don't love this girl and she doesn't love me. It would be perfectly criminal to force us to marry. She doesn't want to marry me. I swear she doesn't. I don't know whose child this is——"
"Could it be yours?"
"There's another fellow——"
"Could it be yours?"
"Yes, if you want to know, it could. But she hates me now. She says she won't marry me—she does really. And this was all before I knew you. If it had happened after I knew you it would be different. But you're the only woman I've ever loved, you are truly. I'm not much of a fellow in many ways, I know, but you can make anything of me. And if you turn me down I'll go utterly to pieces. There's never been any one since I first saw you."
She interrupted him, looking past him at the shining window.
"And that's why I never met your mother? That poor girl . . . that poor girl . . . ."
"But you're not going to throw me over?"
"Throw you over?" She looked at him, wide-eyed. "But you don't belong to me—and I don't belong to you. We've nothing to do with one another any more. We don't touch anywhere."
He tried to take her hand. She moved back.
"It's no good, Bunny. It's over. It's all over."
"No—don't—don't let me go like this. Don't——" Then he looked at her face.
"All right, then," he said. "You'll be sorry for this."
And he went.
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收听单词发音
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1
amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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secondly
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| adv.第二，其次 | |
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artistic
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| adj.艺术(家)的，美术(家)的；善于艺术创作的 | |
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interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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8
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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9
liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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impersonal
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| adj.无个人感情的，与个人无关的，非人称的 | |
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hostility
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| n.敌对，敌意；抵制［pl.］交战，战争 | |
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15
immersion
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| n.沉浸；专心 | |
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postpone
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| v.延期，推迟 | |
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scrap
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| n.碎片；废料；v.废弃，报废 | |
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18
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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lustre
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| n.光亮，光泽；荣誉 | |
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loyalty
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| n.忠诚，忠心 | |
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stiffened
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| 加强的 | |
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23
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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24
defiantly
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| adv.挑战地，大胆对抗地 | |
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25
blurring
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| n.模糊，斑点甚多，（图像的）混乱v.（使）变模糊( blur的现在分词 )；（使）难以区分 | |
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steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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contemptible
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| adj.可鄙的，可轻视的，卑劣的 | |
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justify
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| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
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bribing
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| 贿赂 | |
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