There was a new halt, near a branch line, which lasted for an interminable time. Then we laboriously3 got under way again. The evening was already falling.
How long did that journey last? Two nights and two days? Or three? It was enough to make one lose all idea of time.
I doubt whether, after leaving Chalons our speed could have exceeded eight miles an hour. Every five minutes we pulled up, sometimes only for a few seconds, sometimes for two or three hours. To begin with the men in command of each truck had instructions to see that no one got out. But as the comedy continued to repeat itself, the orders were soon relaxed. It was better outside than in.
At Chalons and at Troyes we found cold meals prepared for us. In between times the men spread over the neighbouring fields in search of carrots, beans, and potatoes, and generally reaped a fruitful harvest. They hollowed out ovens along the line, but the[Pg 395] train often started off just as the camp-kettles had been put on to the fire. The first time or two, panic ensued, the men seized the material, burning their fingers, and crammed4 their mouths with half-cooked vegetables.
But they gradually got to take things more calmly. If the train wanted to do a bolt, let it, by all means! They'd catch it up all right. Or if not they would jump on to the next one that came along, that was all! There was a procession of convoys5 on our down line.
The most hilarious6 merriment spread from one end of the chain to the other. It was occasionally chilled by meeting an ambulance train carrying its terrible load of suffering. We were shunted and the other passed us. It was heart-rending, and unpleasant too, to have to stay in the wake of it, where there floated an unsavory smell. But the rest of the time—high jinks! The poilus had taken a fancy to this fantastic excursion. Peasants did a trade in eatables along the line. We bought eggs, cheese, jam, and black puddings and sausages from them—good cheer, in fact. And wine most of all. There was a great run on some frothy wine of an inferior quality sold at two francs a bottle. The men clubbed together and there were great drinking bouts7 which ended in some of them being distinctly "binged."
It was no use trying to interfere8. The N.C. O's were giving way everywhere. Some of them even joined in. Among our lot I at least succeeded in putting into force this rule: that whoever felt squeamish, should not get back into the truck, where he would make everyone uncomfortable. It was strictly9 observed: some of these excellent fellows[Pg 396] meekly10 dragged their wish to vomit11 along the ballast for a livelong day.
I was far from partaking in this atmosphere of gaiety, and was, on the contrary, bored and depressed12. I did not get out half-a-dozen times, but stayed in our truck in almost complete isolation13. Chance had separated me from Guillaumin on this journey, and thrown me with Langlois, who was not a very inspiring companion.
De Valpic was feeling the effects of his recent fatigue14, and lay down the whole time. Humel twice came to pay me a short visit, unknown to the rest of the "set." Henriot was nowhere to be seen.
I have said that we stopped for a moment at Troyes where we turned off on to the main line, Belfort-Paris. We soon saw the effect of it in the change of speed. Two of our gay spirits again took advantage of a halt, to rag in the fields. The train started off at full speed without whistling. We did not see them again until two days later.
We arrived at Pantin at night. The men's persistent15 gaiety made me singularly cross, and I was much relieved when the captain lost his temper and exacted silence. We detrained in pitch darkness. All the lamps in the station had been put out for fear of Taubes and Zeppelins.
I longed and feared to learn what turn things had taken. I questioned a foreman who confided16 in me:
"You're lucky, you're the last to arrive! To-morrow the system won't be working. It's already cut at Meaux."
They hurried us along the platform, weighed down like human live-stock. On leaving the station[Pg 397] we turned into an unlighted avenue, and marched for half an hour or fifty minutes.
The men demanded a halt.
Everyone was so firmly convinced that we were being brought back to rest here. We would have given anything to lie down, if only on bad straw. Our backs were sore all over from those seventy-six hours in the train.
The streets were deserted17. At long intervals18 there was a sentry19, or patrol-party. We went on, half dozing20. With my head nodding, I urged myself on to certain arguments, which were comparatively reassuring21. Don't throw the helve after the hatchet22. A besieged23 town is not a captured town. Paris, in 1870, had held out for more than four months. The defensive24 works in those days did not approach those of to-day.
Henriot was walking beside me. I unbared my thoughts to him. He retorted:
"Oh rot! They'll get in as easy as look at it!"
"Do you really know anything definite about it?" I asked, a little nonplussed25.
"I know as much as everyone else! Nothing's ready. The forts in the west are not worth a pin. They won't hold out any more than those at Namur!"
He added:
"And then you know, when we no longer think of anything but defending ourselves...!"
There were two lanterns in the middle of the road, and forms coming and going. It was an intrenching party—some Zouaves digging a piece of trench26, and a machine-gun was pointed27 there.
Judsi turned round.
"A bit beforehand, ain't they?"
[Pg 398]
Their zeal28 was rather overdone29! That was the general impression. I, on the contrary, felt that it might come in useful no later than to-morrow.
I repeated to myself Henriot's half-finished remark, "When we no longer think of anything but defending ourselves...!" And I followed the thought to its conclusion. I remembered the teaching of my military education, a certain crude phrase in the regulations, "A passive defensive is doomed30 to certain defeat!"
Pray what were we doing but running to shut ourselves up in a camp? How many sad precedents31 there were for that? Metz, Port Arthur, Adrianople ... I recalled the changed attitude of those of my companions who were capable of reasoning. De Valpic, prostrate32. Was it due only to weariness? Guillaumin was taciturn and reserved, and the officers silent. The captain? We had seen very little of him—once or twice gloomily gnawing33 his moustache. What baleful influence was in the air? I was suddenly suffocated34 by it.
Where were they taking us now? It was Prunelle who put us on the track. He recognised the country, it was in the neighbourhood of Neuilly-Plaisance. There was a tiny village there where he went every Saturday evening, and quite near by, a topping place for fishing. May I be hung if he did not begin to prate35 of perch36 and roach?
There was a halt at last. I took a turn. A shadow was silhouetted37 in front of me:
"Who goes there?"
Oh, I recognised him....
"That you, Donnadieu?"
[Pg 399]
It was my corporal, the voluntary casualty of Mangiennes!
"I've come back, Sergeant," he said. "Sergeant...."
He stopped, choking....
"Did you tell the others?"
"Tell them what?"
"How I ... was wounded?"
"No." I replied coldly. "I told no one."
My glance mechanically sought his hand. He explained:
"Two fingers gone, that's all! I've asked them not to discharge me, as I can hold my rifle! I've been waiting for you here for two days...."
He began again:
"Sergeant, I was watching for you ... I wanted to see you before the others ... because ... because...."
He swallowed:
"If the thing had got about ... I should have put a bullet through my head!"
His tone was abrupt39, and sincere. A man who would recover himself. Why could I not find a hearty40 word for him?
"Where were you looked after?"
"At the field hospital.... A dozen or so out of the company were there."
"Do you know what became of...?"
He read my thoughts....
"Sergeant Frémont?"
"Frémont, yes?"
"He died ... in two days. They couldn't move him."
I left him. Little Frémont dead! It seemed[Pg 400] impossible, and yet I had foreseen it. The tragic41 destiny weighed on us all! Again I saw him, this comrade of my youth, seated on the bench in the garden, beside his love, with the clear eyes....
I went back to my companions. Guillaumin and De Valpic were together, and Humel not far away. I called him, and told them the sad news, in an under-tone.
"It's quite certain then?"
Humel fixed42 his eyes, in which I read anxiety and terror, on me. Poor boy! He, especially, needed a comforting word. I could not furnish it. We were all four silent.
Then De Valpic tried to dispel43 the gloom, by referring to some incident or other on the journey. He adopted a joking tone. But his strength failed him, his cough put an end to his story. And the order came to start again.
We met again during the next halt. No one had the heart to say a word. Each one of us felt capable of mastering his own distress44, but if they all came to be fused and strengthened by each other, there would be nothing for it but to sob45....
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收听单词发音
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1
backwards
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| adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地 | |
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2
shrill
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| adj.尖声的；刺耳的；v尖叫 | |
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3
laboriously
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| adv.艰苦地；费力地；辛勤地；（文体等）佶屈聱牙地 | |
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4
crammed
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| adj.塞满的，挤满的；大口地吃；快速贪婪地吃v.把…塞满；填入；临时抱佛脚( cram的过去式) | |
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5
convoys
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| n.（有护航的）船队( convoy的名词复数 )；车队；护航（队）；护送队 | |
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6
hilarious
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| adj.充满笑声的，欢闹的；[反]depressed | |
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7
bouts
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| n.拳击（或摔跤）比赛( bout的名词复数 )；一段（工作）；（尤指坏事的）一通；（疾病的）发作 | |
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8
interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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9
strictly
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| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
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10
meekly
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| adv.温顺地，逆来顺受地 | |
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11
vomit
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| v.呕吐，作呕；n.呕吐物，吐出物 | |
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12
depressed
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| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
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13
isolation
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| n.隔离，孤立，分解，分离 | |
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fatigue
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| n.疲劳，劳累 | |
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persistent
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| adj.坚持不懈的，执意的；持续的 | |
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confided
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| v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的过去式和过去分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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17
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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sentry
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| n.哨兵，警卫 | |
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dozing
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| v.打瞌睡,假寐 n.瞌睡 | |
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reassuring
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| a.使人消除恐惧和疑虑的，使人放心的 | |
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hatchet
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| n.短柄小斧；v.扼杀 | |
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23
besieged
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| 包围，围困，围攻( besiege的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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24
defensive
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| adj.防御的；防卫的；防守的 | |
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nonplussed
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| adj.不知所措的，陷于窘境的v.使迷惑( nonplus的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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26
trench
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| n./v.(挖)沟，(挖)战壕 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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28
zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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29
overdone
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| v.做得过分( overdo的过去分词 )；太夸张；把…煮得太久；（工作等）过度 | |
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30
doomed
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| 命定的 | |
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31
precedents
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| 引用单元； 范例( precedent的名词复数 )； 先前出现的事例； 前例； 先例 | |
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32
prostrate
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| v.拜倒，平卧，衰竭；adj.拜倒的，平卧的，衰竭的 | |
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gnawing
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| a.痛苦的，折磨人的 | |
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34
suffocated
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| （使某人）窒息而死( suffocate的过去式和过去分词 )； （将某人）闷死； 让人感觉闷热； 憋气 | |
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prate
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| v.瞎扯，胡说 | |
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36
perch
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| n.栖木，高位，杆；v.栖息，就位，位于 | |
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37
silhouetted
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| 显出轮廓的，显示影像的 | |
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38
sergeant
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| n.警官，中士 | |
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39
abrupt
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| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
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40
hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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41
tragic
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| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
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42
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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43
dispel
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| vt.驱走，驱散，消除 | |
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44
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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45
sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣 | |
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