CHAPTER XXII SERENITY

 I had fallen face downwards¹. I experienced a sensation of shattering and laceration. My eyes closed. I made a convulsive effort to get up. Impossible! But where was I wounded? My head was swimming, everything was turning round me. I was dying.

"Your leg, isn't it?"

I succeeded in opening my eyes again.

Guillaumin!

"Yes—I think so!" I stammered².

"Hurts a bit, what?"

I tried to lift up my head and spit some soil out. Everything grew dim again. I caught sight of a clown's face—Judsi, leaning over me, too.

"Carry on! Carry on!" I murmured.

They disappeared from my field of vision. I saw another line of men pass in skirmishing order, then another. Was my brain affected³? Why did I think I was back in camp at Mailly and once more taking part in the parade before the Bey of Tunis?

By some strange instinct, I dreaded⁴ being helped. I preferred to die in peace. For I thought my hour had come, and abandoned myself unregretfully.

Meanwhile, some time passed. Instead of agonising, I recovered my wits.

[Pg 479]

It was my right leg that had been hit—the bone to a certainty! For the moment, the pain was not so intolerable. I felt as if my leg had been substituted by a mass of lead.

Ah! The sun! Already high in the heavens!

I now began to wish for help, but the plateau was abandoned. Quite near me there was a dead body—poor Prunelle—fallen in the posture⁵ of an oriental suppliant⁶. Farther on Gaufrèteau was drawing his last breath.

A tree stood a few yards off; a minute rise in the ground blocked out all the horizon.

I was thinking, longing⁷ to find out what really had happened. I struggled obstinately⁸ to turn over onto one side. At last I succeeded. By raising myself up on my elbow, I was able to examine my leg. It made a hideous⁹ angle under the trouser. The foot turned back towards the knee. There would have been reason enough to shudder¹⁰, if that inert¹¹ mass had not literally¹² seemed a thing quite apart from me.

I thought of dressing¹³ my wound, but my strength was not up to undoing¹⁴ my pack and slitting¹⁵ up the cloth round my leg.

What was the result of the engagement? Everything tended to show that our masterly stroke at dawn had been successful. But were we following up our advantage? And how far? If only I could have dragged myself as far as that tree! I calculated the distance. What hope possessed¹⁶ me? I succeeded at the cost of real torture in getting into a sitting position. Now my plan was made. I must move backwards¹⁷, propelling myself by my fists!

Oh! what a ghastly journey that was! I watched the removal of my leg. It was throbbing¹⁸, but did not[Pg 480] cause me acute pain, and seemed as if paralysed; mis-shapen and swollen¹⁹, like a great ball, pinning me to the ground. I was as weak as a baby. Ten times over my head sank, my clenched²⁰ fingers relaxed. I allowed myself a good rest, first after each half yard then after each foot, then even this latter distance seemed to me excessive.

Having attained²¹ my end—how I do not know—I drew breath for a long time.

It now remained for me—I was ambitious—to stand up—to see something. I gripped the trunk with both arms, while my sound leg stiffened—in vain—my God! The other was pinned to the ground!

I changed my tactics, and set about raising myself on one knee. When I had got there, I exerted all the strength of my being, and began to pull myself up slowly, oh, so slowly! My grip alone supported me. My hands were grazed by the bark.

On my feet, at last—triumphant! I was able to gaze far across the plain in front of me.

It was a large expanse of wild country, cut by a railway. Little did I care for the view. What I sought for hungrily was that cloud of dust—the men. I ended by discovering it. In the distance, as far as eye could see, there was a line of skirmishers—easily recognisable—our greatcoats and red trousers!

Vloumm! Rouvloumm! Vloumm! A cannonade echoed near at hand, making the air waves vibrate. About a mile and a half away a battery of the 75's let off a trial round. Too short! They harnessed up again, swung round, and were off at a gallop²².

Yonder a company of dragoons were trotting²³ in the same direction. The pursuit had begun.

[Pg 481]

By some intuition or suggestion my vision increased at this point. I had the feeling that I could see from one end to the other of our front. On the Ourcq just by, and farther off on the Marne, the Meuse, the Moselle, this very Destiny was being pronounced; this very morning, at this very hour, the success of our counter-offensive; the hostile rabble²⁴ dislocated, broken, forced to retreat.

Paris and France saved! A grand date in the history of the world! What did it matter how long the War might last.

I greeted the day of glory. This noble stretch of country, the ?le-de-France, stood forth²⁵ before us—our adopted land—and lay stretched at our feet, presenting a fertile appearance for our sakes.

Preserved for the sons of my race, the acres which nourished us with their substance of life-giving properties. I thought not at all of my wound, of my life, no doubt in danger. Content to have lived until this sublime²⁶ instant, I united in the same love, the freed territory, the luminary²⁷ shining on my country, the beings dear to my heart; and enlacing the rugged²⁸ tree, I eagerly stretched myself up to follow to the very horizon our victorious²⁹ colours.

My strength suddenly gave way. The leaden weight became aggravated³⁰. I yielded with the one idea of falling upon my sound limb. My forehead struck the ground and I fell into a deep swoon.

1 downwards   

adj./adv.向下的（地），下行的（地）

参考例句：

• He lay face downwards on his bed.他脸向下伏在床上。
• As the river flows downwards,it widens.这条河愈到下游愈宽。

2 stammered   

v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He stammered most when he was nervous. 他一紧张往往口吃。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• Barsad leaned back in his chair, and stammered, \"What do you mean?\" 巴萨往椅背上一靠，结结巴巴地说，“你是什么意思？” 来自英汉文学 - 双城记

3 affected   

adj.不自然的，假装的

参考例句：

• She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
• His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。

4 dreaded   

adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词)

参考例句：

• The dreaded moment had finally arrived. 可怕的时刻终于来到了。
• He dreaded having to spend Christmas in hospital. 他害怕非得在医院过圣诞节不可。 来自《用法词典》

5 posture   

n.姿势，姿态，心态，态度；v.作出某种姿势

参考例句：

• The government adopted an uncompromising posture on the issue of independence.政府在独立这一问题上采取了毫不妥协的态度。
• He tore off his coat and assumed a fighting posture.他脱掉上衣，摆出一副打架的架势。

6 suppliant   

adj.哀恳的；n.恳求者，哀求者

参考例句：

• He asked for help in a suppliant attitude.他以恳求的态度要我帮忙。
• He knelt as a suppliant at the altar.他跪在祭坛前祈祷。

7 longing   

n.（for）渴望

参考例句：

• Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。
• His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。

8 obstinately   

ad.固执地，顽固地

参考例句：

• He obstinately asserted that he had done the right thing. 他硬说他做得对。
• Unemployment figures are remaining obstinately high. 失业数字仍然顽固地居高不下。

9 hideous   

adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的

参考例句：

• The whole experience had been like some hideous nightmare.整个经历就像一场可怕的噩梦。
• They're not like dogs,they're hideous brutes.它们不像狗，是丑陋的畜牲。

10 shudder   

v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动

参考例句：

• The sight of the coffin sent a shudder through him.看到那副棺材，他浑身一阵战栗。
• We all shudder at the thought of the dreadful dirty place.我们一想到那可怕的肮脏地方就浑身战惊。

11 inert   

adj.无活动能力的，惰性的；迟钝的

参考例句：

• Inert gas studies are providing valuable information about other planets,too.对惰性气体的研究，也提供了有关其它行星的有价值的资料。
• Elemental nitrogen is a very unreactive and inert material.元素氮是一个十分不活跃的惰性物质。

12 literally   

adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实

参考例句：

• He translated the passage literally.他逐字逐句地翻译这段文字。
• Sometimes she would not sit down till she was literally faint.有时候，她不走到真正要昏厥了，决不肯坐下来。

13 dressing   

n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料

参考例句：

• Don't spend such a lot of time in dressing yourself.别花那么多时间来打扮自己。
• The children enjoy dressing up in mother's old clothes.孩子们喜欢穿上妈妈旧时的衣服玩。

14 undoing   

n.毁灭的原因，祸根；破坏，毁灭

参考例句：

• That one mistake was his undoing. 他一失足即成千古恨。
• This hard attitude may have led to his undoing. 可能就是这种强硬的态度导致了他的垮台。

15 slitting   

n.纵裂（缝）v.切开，撕开( slit的现在分词 )；在…上开狭长口子

参考例句：

• She is slitting a man's throat. 她正在割一个男人的喉咙。 来自辞典例句
• Different side of slitting direction will improve slitting edge and quality. 应用不同靠刀方向修边分条可帮助顺利排料，并获得更好的分条品质。 来自互联网

16 possessed   

adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的

参考例句：

• He flew out of the room like a man possessed.他像着了魔似地猛然冲出房门。
• He behaved like someone possessed.他行为举止像是魔怔了。

17 backwards   

adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地

参考例句：

• He turned on the light and began to pace backwards and forwards.他打开电灯并开始走来走去。
• All the girls fell over backwards to get the party ready.姑娘们迫不及待地为聚会做准备。

18 throbbing   

a. 跳动的,悸动的

参考例句：

• My heart is throbbing and I'm shaking. 我的心在猛烈跳动，身子在不住颤抖。
• There was a throbbing in her temples. 她的太阳穴直跳。

19 swollen   

adj.肿大的，水涨的；v.使变大，肿胀

参考例句：

• Her legs had got swollen from standing up all day.因为整天站着，她的双腿已经肿了。
• A mosquito had bitten her and her arm had swollen up.蚊子叮了她，她的手臂肿起来了。

20 clenched   

v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He clenched his fists in anger. 他愤怒地攥紧了拳头。
• She clenched her hands in her lap to hide their trembling. 她攥紧双手放在腿上，以掩饰其颤抖。 来自《简明英汉词典》

21 attained   

（通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况）

参考例句：

• She has attained the degree of Master of Arts. 她已获得文学硕士学位。
• Lu Hsun attained a high position in the republic of letters. 鲁迅在文坛上获得崇高的地位。

22 gallop   

v./n.(马或骑马等)飞奔；飞速发展

参考例句：

• They are coming at a gallop towards us.他们正朝着我们飞跑过来。
• The horse slowed to a walk after its long gallop.那匹马跑了一大阵后慢下来缓步而行。

23 trotting   

小跑，急走( trot的现在分词 )； 匆匆忙忙地走

参考例句：

• The riders came trotting down the lane. 这骑手骑着马在小路上慢跑。
• Alan took the reins and the small horse started trotting. 艾伦抓住缰绳，小马开始慢跑起来。

24 rabble   

n.乌合之众，暴民；下等人

参考例句：

• They formed an army out of rabble.他们用乌合之众组成一支军队。
• Poverty in itself does not make men into a rabble.贫困自身并不能使人成为贱民。

25 forth   

adv.向前；向外，往外

参考例句：

• The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
• He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。

26 sublime   

adj.崇高的，伟大的；极度的，不顾后果的

参考例句：

• We should take some time to enjoy the sublime beauty of nature.我们应该花些时间去欣赏大自然的壮丽景象。
• Olympic games play as an important arena to exhibit the sublime idea.奥运会，就是展示此崇高理念的重要舞台。

27 luminary   

n.名人，天体

参考例句：

• That luminary gazed earnestly at some papers before him.那个大好佬在用心细看面前的报纸。
• Now that a new light shone upon the horizon,this older luminary paled in the west.现在东方地平线上升起了一轮朝阳，这弯残月就在西边天际失去了光泽。

28 rugged   

adj.高低不平的，粗糙的，粗壮的，强健的

参考例句：

• Football players must be rugged.足球运动员必须健壮。
• The Rocky Mountains have rugged mountains and roads.落基山脉有崇山峻岭和崎岖不平的道路。

29 victorious   

adj.胜利的，得胜的

参考例句：

• We are certain to be victorious.我们定会胜利。
• The victorious army returned in triumph.获胜的部队凯旋而归。

30 aggravated   

使恶化( aggravate的过去式和过去分词 )； 使更严重； 激怒； 使恼火

参考例句：

• If he aggravated me any more I shall hit him. 假如他再激怒我，我就要揍他。
• Far from relieving my cough, the medicine aggravated it. 这药非但不镇咳，反而使我咳嗽得更厉害。