Chapter 19

It was past midnight now, and in her room, Adrienne held the conch as she sat on the bed. Dan had called an hour earlier, full of news about Amanda.

“She told me she was going to take the boys out tomor-row, just the three of them. That they needed to spend some time with their mom.” He paused. “I don’t know what you said, but I guess whatever it was worked.”

“I’m glad.”

“So what did you say to her?’ She was, you know, kind of circumspect¹ about it.”

“The same thing I’ve been saying all along. The same thing you and Matt have been saying.”

“Then why did she listen to you this time?”

“I guess,” Adrienne said, drawing out the words, “be-cause she finally wanted to.”

Later, after she’d hung up the phone, Adrienne read the letters from Paul, just as she’d known she would. Though

his words were hard to see through her tears, her own words were even harder to read. She’d read those countless² times, too, the ones she had written to Paul in the year they’d been apart. Her own letters had been in the second stack, the stack that Mark Flanner had brought with him when he’d come to her house two months after Paul had been buried in Ecuador,

Amanda had forgotten to ask about Mark’s visit before she’d gone, and Adrienne hadn’t reminded her. In time, Amanda might bring it up again, but even now, Adrienne wasn’t sure how much she would say. This was the one part of the story she’d kept entirely³ to herself over the years, locked away, like the letters. Even her father didn’t know what Paul had done.

In the pale glow of the streetlight shining through her window, Adrienne rose from the bed and took a jacket and scarf from the closet, then walked downstairs. She un-locked the back door and stepped outside.

Stars were blazing⁴ like tiny sparkles⁵ on a magician’s cape⁶, and the air was moist and cold. In the yard, she could see blackened pools, reflecting the ebony above. Lights shone from neighbors’ windows, and though she knew it was just her imagination, she could almost smell salt in the air, as if sea mist were rolling over the neighborhood yards. Mark had come to the house on a February morning; his arm was still in a sling⁷, but she’d barely⁸ noticed it. Instead, she found herself staring at him, unable to turn away. He looked, she thought, exactly like his father. When he of-fered the saddest of smiles as she opened the door, Adri-enne took a small step backward, trying hard to hold back the tears.

They sat at the table, two coffee cups between them, and Mark removed the letters from the bag he’d brought with him.

“He saved them,” he said. “I didn’t know what else to do with them, except to bring them to you.”

Adrienne nodded as she took them.

“Thank you for your letter,” she said. “I know how hard it must have been for you to write it.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, and for a long time, he was silent. Then, of course, he told her why he’d come.

Now, on the porch⁹, Adrienne smiled as she thought about what Paul had done for her. She remembered going to visit her father in the nursing home after Mark had left, the place her father would never have to leave. As Mark had explained as he’d sat at the table, Paul had already made arrangements for her father to be taken care of there until the end of his days—a gift he had hoped to surprise her with. When she began to protest, Mark made it clear that it would have broken his heart to know that she wouldn’t accept it.

“Please,” he finally said, “it’s what my dad wanted.”

In the years that followed, she would cherish¹⁰ Paul’s final gesture, just as she cherished¹¹ every memory of the few days they spent together. Paul still meant everything to her, would always mean everything to her, and in the chilly¹² air of a late winter evening, Adrienne knew she would always feel that way.

She’d already lived through more years than she had remaining, but it hadn’t seemed that long. Entire years had slipped from her memory, washed away like sandy foot-prints near the water’s edge. With the exception of the time she’d spent with Paul Flanner, she sometimes be-lieved that she had passed through life with no more awareness¹³ than that of a small child on a tong car ride, staring out the window as the scenery rolled past.

She had fallen in love with a stranger in the course of a weekend, and she would never fall in love again. The de-sire to love again had ended on a mountain pass in Ecuador. Paul had died for his son, and in that moment, part of her had died as well.

She wasn’t bitter, though. In the same situation, she knew she would have tried to save her own child as well. Yes, Paul was gone, but he had left her with so much. She’d found love and joy, she’d found a strength she never knew she had, and nothing could ever take those things away.

But all of it was over now, all except the memories, and she’d constructed those with infinite¹⁴ care. They were as real to her as the scene she was staring at now, and blink-ing back the tears that had started falling in the empty darkness of her bedroom, she raised her chin. Staring into the sky, she breathed deeply, listening to the distant and imagined echo¹⁵ of waves as they broke along the shore on a stormy night in Rodanthe.

1 circumspect   

adj.慎重的，谨慎的

参考例句：

• She is very circumspect when dealing with strangers.她与陌生人打交道时十分谨慎。
• He was very circumspect in his financial affairs.他对于自己的财务十分细心。

2 countless   

adj.无数的，多得不计其数的

参考例句：

• In the war countless innocent people lost their lives.在这场战争中无数无辜的人丧失了性命。
• I've told you countless times.我已经告诉你无数遍了。

3 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

4 blazing   

a.强烈的，燃烧的，炫目的

参考例句：

• A huge fire was blazing in the fireplace. 壁炉中火烧得正旺。
• a blazing hot day 大热天

5 sparkles   

v.发火花，闪耀( sparkle的第三人称单数 )；（饮料）发泡；生气勃勃，热情奔放，神采飞扬

参考例句：

• The diamond sparkles with brilliant light. 金刚钻闪出灿烂的光辉。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• Her hand, which dangles over the side, sparkles cold with jewels. 她一只手耷拉在一边，闪耀着珠宝的寒光。 来自英汉文学 - 盖茨比

6 cape   

n.海角，岬；披肩，短披风

参考例句：

• I long for a trip to the Cape of Good Hope.我渴望到好望角去旅行。
• She was wearing a cape over her dress.她在外套上披着一件披肩。

7 sling   

vt.扔；悬挂；n.挂带；吊索，吊兜；弹弓

参考例句：

• The boy discharged a stone from a sling.这个男孩用弹弓射石头。
• By using a hoist the movers were able to sling the piano to the third floor.搬运工人用吊车才把钢琴吊到3楼。

8 barely   

adv.仅仅，几乎没有，几乎不

参考例句：

• The male bird is barely distinguishable from the female.雄鸟和雌鸟几乎无法辨别。
• He took barely enough money to keep the children in bread.他赚很少的钱仅够孩子们勉强糊口。

9 porch   

n.门廊，入口处，走廊，游廊

参考例句：

• There are thousands of pages of advertising on our porch.有成千上万页广告堆在我们的门廊上。
• The porch is supported by six immense pillars.门廊由六根大柱子支撑着。

10 cherish   

vt.抱有，怀有（希望等），爱护，抚育，珍爱

参考例句：

• I cherish for you the liveliest feeling of affection and gratitude.我对你怀有最强烈的爱和感激之情。
• We must cherish experience acquired at the cost of blood.我们必须珍惜用鲜血换来的经验。

11 cherished   

v.珍爱( cherish的过去式和过去分词 )；怀有；爱护；抚育

参考例句：

• Children need to be cherished. 儿童需要无微不至的爱护。
• She cherished a deep resentment under the rose towards her employer. 她暗中对她的雇主怀恨在心。 来自《简明英汉词典》

12 chilly   

adj.凉快的，寒冷的

参考例句：

• I feel chilly without a coat.我由于没有穿大衣而感到凉飕飕的。
• I grew chilly when the fire went out.炉火熄灭后，寒气逼人。

13 awareness   

n.意识，觉悟，懂事，明智

参考例句：

• There is a general awareness that smoking is harmful.人们普遍认识到吸烟有害健康。
• Environmental awareness has increased over the years.这些年来人们的环境意识增强了。

14 infinite   

adj.无限的，无穷的，无边无际的

参考例句：

• The universe seems infinite.宇宙似乎是无限的。
• The war brought infinite harm to the nation.战争给这个国家带来了无穷的灾难。

15 echo   

n.回音，共鸣；vi.发出回声；vt.模仿，附和

参考例句：

• She shouted on the mountaintop and listened for the echo.她在山顶上大声喊着，然后聆听着回声。
• I should like to echo the words of the previous speaker.我想重复前面一位发言者的话。