On leaving her, after my first outbreak, I had of course returned to my pupils, associating the right remedy for my dismay with that sense of their charm which I had already found to be a thing I could positively7 cultivate and which had never failed me yet. I had simply, in other words, plunged8 afresh into Flora9’s special society and there become aware—it was almost a luxury!—that she could put her little conscious hand straight upon the spot that ached. She had looked at me in sweet speculation10 and then had accused me to my face of having “cried.” I had supposed I had brushed away the ugly signs: but I could literally11—for the time, at all events—rejoice, under this fathomless12 charity, that they had not entirely13 disappeared. To gaze into the depths of blue of the child’s eyes and pronounce their loveliness a trick of premature14 cunning was to be guilty of a cynicism in preference to which I naturally preferred to abjure15 my judgment16 and, so far as might be, my agitation17. I couldn’t abjure for merely wanting to, but I could repeat to Mrs. Grose—as I did there, over and over, in the small hours—that with their voices in the air, their pressure on one’s heart, and their fragrant18 faces against one’s cheek, everything fell to the ground but their incapacity and their beauty. It was a pity that, somehow, to settle this once for all, I had equally to re-enumerate the signs of subtlety19 that, in the afternoon, by the lake had made a miracle of my show of self-possession. It was a pity to be obliged to reinvestigate the certitude of the moment itself and repeat how it had come to me as a revelation that the inconceivable communion I then surprised was a matter, for either party, of habit. It was a pity that I should have had to quaver out again the reasons for my not having, in my delusion20, so much as questioned that the little girl saw our visitant even as I actually saw Mrs. Grose herself, and that she wanted, by just so much as she did thus see, to make me suppose she didn’t, and at the same time, without showing anything, arrive at a guess as to whether I myself did! It was a pity that I needed once more to describe the portentous21 little activity by which she sought to divert my attention—the perceptible increase of movement, the greater intensity22 of play, the singing, the gabbling of nonsense, and the invitation to romp23.
Yet if I had not indulged, to prove there was nothing in it, in this review, I should have missed the two or three dim elements of comfort that still remained to me. I should not for instance have been able to asseverate24 to my friend that I was certain—which was so much to the good—that I at least had not betrayed myself. I should not have been prompted, by stress of need, by desperation of mind—I scarce know what to call it—to invoke25 such further aid to intelligence as might spring from pushing my colleague fairly to the wall. She had told me, bit by bit, under pressure, a great deal; but a small shifty spot on the wrong side of it all still sometimes brushed my brow like the wing of a bat; and I remember how on this occasion—for the sleeping house and the concentration alike of our danger and our watch seemed to help—I felt the importance of giving the last jerk to the curtain. “I don’t believe anything so horrible,” I recollect26 saying; “no, let us put it definitely, my dear, that I don’t. But if I did, you know, there’s a thing I should require now, just without sparing you the least bit more—oh, not a scrap27, come!—to get out of you. What was it you had in mind when, in our distress28, before Miles came back, over the letter from his school, you said, under my insistence29, that you didn’t pretend for him that he had not literally ever been ‘bad’? He has not literally ‘ever,’ in these weeks that I myself have lived with him and so closely watched him; he has been an imperturbable30 little prodigy31 of delightful32, lovable goodness. Therefore you might perfectly have made the claim for him if you had not, as it happened, seen an exception to take. What was your exception, and to what passage in your personal observation of him did you refer?”
It was a dreadfully austere33 inquiry34, but levity35 was not our note, and, at any rate, before the gray dawn admonished36 us to separate I had got my answer. What my friend had had in mind proved to be immensely to the purpose. It was neither more nor less than the circumstance that for a period of several months Quint and the boy had been perpetually together. It was in fact the very appropriate truth that she had ventured to criticize the propriety37, to hint at the incongruity38, of so close an alliance, and even to go so far on the subject as a frank overture39 to Miss Jessel. Miss Jessel had, with a most strange manner, requested her to mind her business, and the good woman had, on this, directly approached little Miles. What she had said to him, since I pressed, was that she liked to see young gentlemen not forget their station.
I pressed again, of course, at this. “You reminded him that Quint was only a base menial?”
“As you might say! And it was his answer, for one thing, that was bad.”
“And for another thing?” I waited. “He repeated your words to Quint?”
“No, not that. It’s just what he wouldn’t!” she could still impress upon me. “I was sure, at any rate,” she added, “that he didn’t. But he denied certain occasions.”
“What occasions?”
“When they had been about together quite as if Quint were his tutor—and a very grand one—and Miss Jessel only for the little lady. When he had gone off with the fellow, I mean, and spent hours with him.”
“He then prevaricated40 about it—he said he hadn’t?” Her assent41 was clear enough to cause me to add in a moment: “I see. He lied.”
“Oh!” Mrs. Grose mumbled42. This was a suggestion that it didn’t matter; which indeed she backed up by a further remark. “You see, after all, Miss Jessel didn’t mind. She didn’t forbid him.”
I considered. “Did he put that to you as a justification43?”
“Never mentioned her in connection with Quint?”
She saw, visibly flushing, where I was coming out. “Well, he didn’t show anything. He denied,” she repeated; “he denied.”
“You do know, you dear thing,” I replied; “only you haven’t my dreadful boldness of mind, and you keep back, out of timidity and modesty47 and delicacy48, even the impression that, in the past, when you had, without my aid, to flounder about in silence, most of all made you miserable49. But I shall get it out of you yet! There was something in the boy that suggested to you,” I continued, “that he covered and concealed50 their relation.”
“Oh, he couldn’t prevent—”
“Your learning the truth? I daresay! But, heavens,” I fell, with vehemence51, athinking, “what it shows that they must, to that extent, have succeeded in making of him!”
“Ah, nothing that’s not nice now!” Mrs. Grose lugubriously52 pleaded.
“I don’t wonder you looked queer,” I persisted, “when I mentioned to you the letter from his school!”
“I doubt if I looked as queer as you!” she retorted with homely53 force. “And if he was so bad then as that comes to, how is he such an angel now?”
“Yes, indeed—and if he was a fiend at school! How, how, how? Well,” I said in my torment54, “you must put it to me again, but I shall not be able to tell you for some days. Only, put it to me again!” I cried in a way that made my friend stare. “There are directions in which I must not for the present let myself go.” Meanwhile I returned to her first example—the one to which she had just previously55 referred—of the boy’s happy capacity for an occasional slip. “If Quint—on your remonstrance56 at the time you speak of—was a base menial, one of the things Miles said to you, I find myself guessing, was that you were another.” Again her admission was so adequate that I continued: “And you forgave him that?”
“Wouldn’t you?”
“Oh, yes!” And we exchanged there, in the stillness, a sound of the oddest amusement. Then I went on: “At all events, while he was with the man—”
“Miss Flora was with the woman. It suited them all!”
It suited me, too, I felt, only too well; by which I mean that it suited exactly the particularly deadly view I was in the very act of forbidding myself to entertain. But I so far succeeded in checking the expression of this view that I will throw, just here, no further light on it than may be offered by the mention of my final observation to Mrs. Grose. “His having lied and been impudent57 are, I confess, less engaging specimens58 than I had hoped to have from you of the outbreak in him of the little natural man. Still,” I mused59, “They must do, for they make me feel more than ever that I must watch.”
It made me blush, the next minute, to see in my friend’s face how much more unreservedly she had forgiven him than her anecdote60 struck me as presenting to my own tenderness an occasion for doing. This came out when, at the schoolroom door, she quitted me. “Surely you don’t accuse him—”
“Of carrying on an intercourse61 that he conceals62 from me? Ah, remember that, until further evidence, I now accuse nobody.” Then, before shutting her out to go, by another passage, to her own place, “I must just wait,” I wound up.
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1
extravagant
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| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
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prodigious
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| adj.惊人的，奇妙的；异常的；巨大的；庞大的 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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recurrence
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| n.复发，反复，重现 | |
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professing
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| 声称( profess的现在分词 )； 宣称； 公开表明； 信奉 | |
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6
discomforts
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| n.不舒适( discomfort的名词复数 )；不愉快，苦恼 | |
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positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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flora
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| n.(某一地区的)植物群 | |
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speculation
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| n.思索，沉思；猜测；投机 | |
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literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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fathomless
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| a.深不可测的 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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premature
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| adj.比预期时间早的；不成熟的，仓促的 | |
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15
abjure
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| v.发誓放弃 | |
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judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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17
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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18
fragrant
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| adj.芬香的，馥郁的，愉快的 | |
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19
subtlety
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| n.微妙，敏锐，精巧；微妙之处，细微的区别 | |
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20
delusion
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| n.谬见，欺骗，幻觉，迷惑 | |
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21
portentous
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| adj.不祥的，可怕的，装腔作势的 | |
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22
intensity
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| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
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23
romp
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| n.欢闹；v.嬉闹玩笑 | |
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24
asseverate
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| v.断言 | |
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25
invoke
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| v.求助于(神、法律)；恳求，乞求 | |
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26
recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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scrap
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| n.碎片；废料；v.废弃，报废 | |
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28
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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29
insistence
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| n.坚持；强调；坚决主张 | |
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30
imperturbable
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| adj.镇静的 | |
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prodigy
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| n.惊人的事物，奇迹，神童，天才，预兆 | |
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32
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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33
austere
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| adj.艰苦的；朴素的，朴实无华的；严峻的 | |
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34
inquiry
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| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
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35
levity
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| n.轻率，轻浮，不稳定，多变 | |
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36
admonished
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| v.劝告( admonish的过去式和过去分词 )；训诫；（温和地）责备；轻责 | |
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37
propriety
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| n.正当行为；正当；适当 | |
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38
incongruity
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| n.不协调，不一致 | |
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39
overture
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| n.前奏曲、序曲，提议，提案，初步交涉 | |
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40
prevaricated
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| v.支吾( prevaricate的过去式和过去分词 )；搪塞；说谎 | |
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41
assent
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| v.批准，认可；n.批准，认可 | |
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42
mumbled
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| 含糊地说某事，叽咕，咕哝( mumble的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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43
justification
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| n.正当的理由；辩解的理由 | |
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44
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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45
wretches
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| n.不幸的人( wretch的名词复数 )；可怜的人；恶棍；坏蛋 | |
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46
groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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47
modesty
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| n.谦逊，虚心，端庄，稳重，羞怯，朴素 | |
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48
delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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49
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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50
concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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51
vehemence
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| n.热切；激烈；愤怒 | |
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52
lugubriously
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53
homely
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| adj.家常的，简朴的；不漂亮的 | |
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54
torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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55
previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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56
remonstrance
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| n抗议，抱怨 | |
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57
impudent
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| adj.鲁莽的，卑鄙的，厚颜无耻的 | |
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58
specimens
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| n.样品( specimen的名词复数 )；范例；（化验的）抽样；某种类型的人 | |
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59
mused
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| v.沉思，冥想( muse的过去式和过去分词 )；沉思自语说（某事） | |
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60
anecdote
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| n.轶事，趣闻，短故事 | |
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61
intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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62
conceals
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的第三人称单数 ) | |
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