“I wish that they had been younger!” was almost the first idea which took definite shape in her mind; “little ones who would have nestled into my heart, and who would have won and returned all my love! I am afraid—but how foolish, how wrong it is to let a shadow of anxiety or fear dim the brightness of a day which should be one of the happiest of my life! We shall love one another; yes, we must—we shall! His children cannot but be dear to me, and I will earnestly try to gain their affections; and if I am weak and inexperienced, and utterly19 unequal to perform rightly the duties of this new, strange state of life, is not my heavenly Father as near me here as when I was in the dear old cottage?” Then, sinking on her knees, with clasped hands Clemence returned fervent20 thanks for the boundless21 blessings22 which Providence23 had lavished24 upon her, and implored25 for wisdom and aid, and for favour in the sight of those with whom she was now so nearly connected.
Clemence rose from her devotions joyous26 and hopeful, and proceeded at once to do that which she regarded rather as a pleasure than as a duty. Unlocking her little travelling-case, she took out writing materials, and hastily penned a note to her uncle, Captain Thistlewood, the guardian27 of her orphaned28 youth, announcing her arrival at her home. Clemence knew how impatiently the letter would be watched for, and how eagerly welcomed by the old sailor; and as she placed within the envelope an enclosure, addressed to the care of her former pastor29, she smiled to think how many hearths30 she would warm, how many boards she would spread in Stoneby, and how many a family would bless her in the village where she counted as many friends as there were poor. “Oh! this is the luxury of being rich!” thought Clemence; and carrying the letter in her hand, with a light step and light heart she descended31 the staircase. The joy which she felt in sending her remittance32 was purer and brighter than any which merely personal gratification could have bestowed33.
“She’s no more French than I am!” muttered Vincent to himself, as he gazed on her fair brow and clear blue eyes. His prejudices were fast melting away beneath the spell of that sunny smile.
The sound of the gong now summoned the family to a sumptuous34 repast. Notwithstanding her disposition35 to be pleased with everything, Clemence, at the head of the table loaded with plate and glittering with crystal, felt her timid misgiving36 return. It was not so much that the young wife found the unaccustomed presence of powdered servants oppressive, that her new state was irksome to her, and that it seemed as if freedom were exchanged for grandeur; but that, with intuitive perception, she had become aware that her every word and movement were watched and criticized, and that by no friendly eyes. Mr. Effingham was a silent man—that evening he was more silent than usual; Arabella and Louisa sat as if unable to open their lips; the chief burden of the conversation fell upon the young timid woman, whose heart fluttered with the excitement of her new position, and her anxiety to say nothing and do nothing that could possibly shock or offend. Lady Selina, indeed, repeatedly broke the silence which, notwithstanding the efforts of Clemence, frequently fell on the circle; but, whether by design or not, she so directed the conversation as to puzzle and embarrass the bride.
“I think that the estates of the Marquis of Bardston lie near Stoneby.”
“Very near to the village,” replied Clemence.
“Does the picture of the old marchioness by Sir Joshua Reynolds deserve its fame?” inquired Lady Selina. “I have often wished to see it; of course, you have very frequently done so!”
“I was never in the Castle,” answered Clemence; “it is not opened to the public.”
There was something disagreeable to the bride, though she scarcely knew why, in the slight bend of the head and pursing of the lip with which Lady Selina received her straightforward37 reply. The lady of fashion seemed determined38 to discourse39 that evening upon no subject but that of the various connections of persons of rank. Her memory appeared unusually at fault. She could not remember whom Lord Greenallen’s sister had married, or what had been the family name of the Duchess of Dinorben, and was ever referring for information to poor Clemence, who had never looked into a peerage in her life. Mrs. Effingham felt herself painfully ignorant of everything that Lady Selina seemed to think it quite necessary to know, and was heartily41 glad when, the tedious ceremony of dinner being ended, the party adjourned42 to the drawing-room.
Vincent was the only one of her new acquaintance with whom Clemence was quite at ease, and she was heartily sorry to find that he was to return to his school early on the morrow, having only come home in order to be introduced to his step-mother. She could rest her hand on his shoulder, and her kind and playful words would call up an answering smile on the face of the boy; but his sisters’ monosyllabic replies to her questions, the marked manner in which they always addressed her as “Mrs. Effingham,” chilled and discouraged the young wife, while she felt an increasing mistrust and almost dread43 of their polite and dignified44 aunt. There was, likewise, something repellent to the frank and open nature of Clemence in the flowery compliments, the exaggerated politeness, with which Mademoiselle Lafleur, who joined the circle at tea, received her courteous45 greeting. Clemence secretly reproached herself for foolish prejudice, but could not shake off a sensation of repulsion. Weary with her journey and the excitement of the meeting, Clemence rejoiced when the long evening closed. She was startled at the sound of her own sigh, as she sat listlessly before her toilet-table; and unconsciously raising her eyes to her mirror, saw reflected there her own pale face, marked with a thoughtful and anxious expression.
“What a child I must be!” exclaimed Clemence half aloud, “to let such trifles weigh upon me—I who have everything to enjoy, everything to be thankful for!” and she struggled, and not unsuccessfully, to throw from her spirit its burden, and to look upon the untried future before her with cheerful confidence and hope. Had Clemence fully40 on that evening realized the difficulties of her position, her heart would indeed have sunk within her. A youthful servant of the Lord, she stood alone in a house where faith in Him had hitherto been nothing but a name; she had entered a family where every heart had a secret idol46 set up in its inmost shrine47. Clemence looked up to her husband as to one all wisdom and goodness. Mr. Effingham bore in the world a spotless name; he was liberal in his charities, and appeared earnest in his profession of religion. His young wife, with loving, trusting confidence, had twined her heart’s affections around him, as some fair creeper clasps with its tendrils a stately forest tree. No suspicion crossed her mind that any unworthy passion could have place in a heart that she deemed the abode48 of every virtue—that the tree so goodly to the eye could nourish a destroyer within. With different eyes would Clemence have surveyed all the expensive luxuries of the banker’s mansion49 had she known—. But we must not anticipate. Clemence was not the first woman, nor will be the last, whose affections have blinded her judgment50, whose fond credulity has invested the object of her choice with the noblest and highest qualities of man. Alas51! when the cold touch of experience awakens52 the loving spirit from such a blissful delusion53!
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1
dwelling
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| n.住宅，住所，寓所 | |
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spacious
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| adj.广阔的，宽敞的 | |
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luxurious
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| adj.精美而昂贵的；豪华的 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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adorned
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| [计]被修饰的 | |
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specimens
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| n.样品( specimen的名词复数 )；范例；（化验的）抽样；某种类型的人 | |
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porcelain
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| n.瓷；adj.瓷的，瓷制的 | |
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carving
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| n.雕刻品，雕花 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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harp
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| n.竖琴；天琴座 | |
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crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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grandeur
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| n.伟大，崇高，宏伟，庄严，豪华 | |
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frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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frigid
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| adj.寒冷的，凛冽的；冷淡的；拘禁的 | |
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scattered
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| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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fervent
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| adj.热的，热烈的，热情的 | |
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boundless
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| adj.无限的；无边无际的；巨大的 | |
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blessings
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| n.（上帝的）祝福( blessing的名词复数 )；好事；福分；因祸得福 | |
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providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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lavished
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| v.过分给予，滥施( lavish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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implored
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| 恳求或乞求（某人）( implore的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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joyous
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| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
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guardian
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| n.监护人；守卫者，保护者 | |
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orphaned
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| [计][修]孤立 | |
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pastor
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| n.牧师，牧人 | |
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hearths
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| 壁炉前的地板，炉床，壁炉边( hearth的名词复数 ) | |
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descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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remittance
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| n.汇款，寄款，汇兑 | |
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bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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sumptuous
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| adj.豪华的，奢侈的，华丽的 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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misgiving
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| n.疑虑，担忧，害怕 | |
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straightforward
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| adj.正直的，坦率的；易懂的，简单的 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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adjourned
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| （使）休会， （使）休庭( adjourn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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dignified
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| a.可敬的，高贵的 | |
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courteous
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| adj.彬彬有礼的，客气的 | |
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46
idol
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| n.偶像，红人，宠儿 | |
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shrine
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| n.圣地，神龛，庙；v.将...置于神龛内，把...奉为神圣 | |
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48
abode
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| n.住处，住所 | |
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mansion
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| n.大厦，大楼；宅第 | |
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50
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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51
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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52
awakens
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的第三人称单数 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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53
delusion
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| n.谬见，欺骗，幻觉，迷惑 | |
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