WITH HIM—THE CONSEQUENCES THEREOF—MISS LUCRETIA’S BALSAM—BREAD—HOW
I OBTAINED IT—BEAMS OF SUNLIGHT AMIDST THE GENERAL DARKNESS—SUFFERING
FROM COLD—HOW WE TOOK OUR MEALS—ORDERS TO PREPARE
FOR BALTIMORE—OVERJOYED AT THE THOUGHT OF QUITTING THE
PLANTATION1—EXTRAORDINARY CLEANSING—COUSIN TOM’S VERSION OF
BALTIMORE—ARRIVAL THERE—KIND RECEPTION GIVEN ME BY MRS. SOPHIA
MY HISTORY.
I have nothing cruel or shocking to relate of my own personal experience, while I remained on Col. Lloyd’s plantation, at the home of my old master. An occasional cuff3 from Aunt Katy, and a regular whipping from old master, such as any heedless and mischievous5 boy might get from his father, is all that I can mention of this sort. I was not old enough to work in the field, and, there being little else than field work to perform, I had much leisure. The most I had to do, was, to drive up the cows in the evening, to keep the front yard clean, and to perform small errands for my young mistress, Lucretia Auld. I have reasons for thinking this lady was very kindly6 disposed toward me, and, although I was not often the object of her attention, I constantly regarded her as my friend, and was always glad when it was my privilege to do her a service. In a family where there was so much that was harsh, cold and indifferent, the slightest word or look of kindness passed, with me, for its full value. Miss Lucretia—as[102] we all continued to call her long after her marriage—had bestowed7 upon me such words and looks as taught me that she pitied me, if she did not love me. In addition to words and looks, she sometimes gave me a piece of bread and butter; a thing not set down in the bill of fare, and which must have been an extra ration8, planned aside from either Aunt Katy or old master, solely9 out of the tender regard and friendship she had for me. Then, too, I one day got into the wars with Uncle Able’s son, “Ike,” and had got sadly worsted; in fact, the little rascal10 had struck me directly in the forehead with a sharp piece of cinder11, fused with iron, from the old blacksmith’s forge, which made a cross in my forehead very plainly to be seen now. The gash12 bled very freely, and I roared very loudly and betook myself home. The coldhearted Aunt Katy paid no attention either to my wound or my roaring, except to tell me it served me right; I had no business with Ike; it was good for me; I would now keep away “from dem Lloyd niggers.” Miss Lucretia, in this state of the case, came forward; and, in quite a different spirit from that manifested by Aunt Katy, she called me into the parlor13 (an extra privilege of itself) and, without using toward me any of the hard-hearted and reproachful epithets14 of my kitchen tormentor15, she quietly acted the good Samaritan. With her own soft hand she washed the blood from my head and face, fetched her own balsam bottle, and with the balsam wetted a nice piece of white linen16, and bound up my head. The balsam was not more healing to the wound in my head, than her kindness was healing to the wounds in my spirit, made by the unfeeling words of Aunt Katy. After this, Miss Lucretia was my friend. I felt her to be such; and I have no doubt that the simple act of binding18 up my head, did much to awaken19 in her mind an interest in my welfare. It is quite true, that this interest was never very marked, and it seldom showed itself in anything more than in giving me a piece of bread when I was hungry; but this was a great favor on a slave plantation, and I was the only one of the children to whom such attention was paid.[103] When very hungry, I would go into the back yard and play under Miss Lucretia’s window. When pretty severely20 pinched by hunger, I had a habit of singing, which the good lady very soon came to understand as a petition for a piece of bread. When I sung under Miss Lucretia’s window, I was very apt to get well paid for my music. The reader will see that I now had two friends, both at important points—Mas’ Daniel at the great house, and Miss Lucretia at home. From Mas’ Daniel I got protection from the bigger boys; and from Miss Lucretia I got bread, by singing when I was hungry, and sympathy when I was abused by that termagant, who had the reins21 of government in the kitchen. For such friendship I felt deeply grateful, and bitter as are my recollections of slavery, I love to recall any instances of kindness, any sunbeams of humane22 treatment, which found way to my soul through the iron grating of my house of bondage23. Such beams seem all the brighter from the general darkness into which they penetrate24, and the impression they make is vividly25 distinct and beautiful.
As I have before intimated, I was seldom whipped—and never severely—by my old master. I suffered little from the treatment I received, except from hunger and cold. These were my two great physical troubles. I could neither get a sufficiency of food nor of clothing; but I suffered less from hunger than from cold. In hottest summer and coldest winter, I was kept almost in a state of nudity; no shoes, no stockings, no jacket, no trowsers; nothing but coarse sackcloth or tow-linen, made into a sort of shirt, reaching down to my knees. This I wore night and day, changing it once a week. In the day time I could protect myself pretty well, by keeping on the sunny side of the house; and in bad weather, in the corner of the kitchen chimney. The great difficulty was, to keep warm during the night. I had no bed. The pigs in the pen had leaves, and the horses in the stable had straw, but the children had no beds. They lodged26 anywhere in the ample kitchen. I slept, generally, in a little closet, without even a blanket to cover me. In very cold weather. I sometimes got down the bag in which corn[104] meal was usually carried to the mill, and crawled into that. Sleeping there, with my head in and feet out, I was partly protected, though not comfortable. My feet have been so cracked with the frost, that the pen with which I am writing might be laid in the gashes27. The manner of taking our meals at old master’s, indicated but little refinement28. Our corn-meal mush, when sufficiently29 cooled, was placed in a large wooden tray, or trough, like those used in making maple30 sugar here in the north. This tray was set down, either on the floor of the kitchen, or out of doors on the ground; and the children were called, like so many pigs; and like so many pigs they would come, and literally31 devour32 the mush—some with oyster33 shells, some with pieces of shingles34, and none with spoons. He that eat fastest got most, and he that was strongest got the best place; and few left the trough really satisfied. I was the most unlucky of any, for Aunt Katy had no good feeling for me; and if I pushed any of the other children, or if they told her anything unfavorable of me, she always believed the worst, and was sure to whip me.
As I grew older and more thoughtful, I was more and more filled with a sense of my wretchedness. The cruelty of Aunt Katy, the hunger and cold I suffered, and the terrible reports of wrong and outrage35 which came to my ear, together with what I almost daily witnessed, led me, when yet but eight or nine years old, to wish I had never been born. I used to contrast my condition with the black-birds, in whose wild and sweet songs I fancied them so happy! Their apparent joy only deepened the shades of my sorrow. There are thoughtful days in the lives of children—at least there were in mine when they grapple with all the great, primary subjects of knowledge, and reach, in a moment, conclusions which no subsequent experience can shake. I was just as well aware of the unjust, unnatural36 and murderous character of slavery, when nine years old, as I am now. Without any appeal to books, to laws, or to authorities of any kind, it was enough to accept God as a father, to regard slavery as a crime.[105]
I was not ten years old when I left Col. Lloyd’s plantation for Balitmore(sic). I left that plantation with inexpressible joy. I never shall forget the ecstacy with which I received the intelligence from my friend, Miss Lucretia, that my old master had determined37 to let me go to Baltimore to live with Mr. Hugh Auld, a brother to Mr. Thomas Auld, my old master’s son-in-law. I received this information about three days before my departure. They were three of the happiest days of my childhood. I spent the largest part of these three days in the creek38, washing off the plantation scurf, and preparing for my new home. Mrs. Lucretia took a lively interest in getting me ready. She told me I must get all the dead skin off my feet and knees, before I could go to Baltimore, for the people there were very cleanly, and would laugh at me if I looked dirty; and, besides, she was intending to give me a pair of trowsers, which I should not put on unless I got all the dirt off. This was a warning to which I was bound to take heed4; for the thought of owning a pair of trowsers, was great, indeed. It was almost a sufficient motive39, not only to induce me to scrub off the mange (as pig drovers would call it) but the skin as well. So I went at it in good earnest, working for the first time in the hope of reward. I was greatly excited, and could hardly consent to sleep, lest I should be left. The ties that, ordinarily, bind17 children to their homes, were all severed40, or they never had any existence in my case, at least so far as the home plantation of Col. L. was concerned. I therefore found no severe trail at the moment of my departure, such as I had experienced when separated from my home in Tuckahoe. My home at my old master’s was charmless to me; it was not home, but a prison to me; on parting from it, I could not feel that I was leaving anything which I could have enjoyed by staying. My mother was now long dead; my grandmother was far away, so that I seldom saw her; Aunt Katy was my unrelenting tormentor; and my two sisters and brothers, owing to our early separation in life, and the family-destroying power of slavery, were, comparatively, strangers[106] to me. The fact of our relationship was almost blotted41 out. I looked for home elsewhere, and was confident of finding none which I should relish42 less than the one I was leaving. If, however, I found in my new home to which I was going with such blissful anticipations—hardship, whipping and nakedness, I had the questionable43 consolation44 that I should not have escaped any one of these evils by remaining under the management of Aunt Katy. Then, too, I thought, since I had endured much in this line on Lloyd’s plantation, I could endure as much elsewhere, and especially at Baltimore; for I had something of the feeling about that city which is expressed in the saying, that being “hanged in England, is better than dying a natural death in Ireland.” I had the strongest desire to see Baltimore. My cousin Tom—a boy two or three years older than I—had been there, and though not fluent (he stuttered immoderately) in speech, he had inspired me with that desire, by his eloquent45 description of the place. Tom was, sometimes, Capt. Auld’s cabin boy; and when he came from Baltimore, he was always a sort of hero amongst us, at least till his Baltimore trip was forgotten. I could never tell him of anything, or point out anything that struck me as beautiful or powerful, but that he had seen something in Baltimore far surpassing it. Even the great house itself, with all its pictures within, and pillars without, he had the hardihood to say “was nothing to Baltimore.” He bought a trumpet46 (worth six pence) and brought it home; told what he had seen in the windows of stores; that he had heard shooting crackers47, and seen soldiers; that he had seen a steamboat; that there were ships in Baltimore that could carry four such sloops49 as the “Sally Lloyd.” He said a great deal about the market-house; he spoke50 of the bells ringing; and of many other things which roused my curiosity very much; and, indeed, which heightened my hopes of happiness in my new home.
We sailed out of Miles river for Baltimore early on a Saturday morning. I remember only the day of the week; for, at that time,[107] I had no knowledge of the days of the month, nor, indeed, of the months of the year. On setting sail, I walked aft, and gave to Col. Lloyd’s plantation what I hoped would be the last look I should ever give to it, or to any place like it. My strong aversion to the great farm, was not owing to my own personal suffering, but the daily suffering of others, and to the certainty that I must, sooner or later, be placed under the barbarous rule of an overseer, such as the accomplished51 Gore52, or the brutal53 and drunken Plummer. After taking this last view, I quitted the quarter deck, made my way to the bow of the sloop48, and spent the remainder of the day in looking ahead; interesting myself in what was in the distance, rather than what was near by or behind. The vessels54, sweeping55 along the bay, were very interesting objects. The broad bay opened like a shoreless ocean on my boyish vision, filling me with wonder and admiration56.
Late in the afternoon, we reached Annapolis, the capital of the state, stopping there not long enough to admit of my going ashore57. It was the first large town I had ever seen; and though it was inferior to many a factory village in New England, my feelings, on seeing it, were excited to a pitch very little below that reached by travelers at the first view of Rome. The dome58 of the state house was especially imposing59, and surpassed in grandeur60 the appearance of the great house. The great world was opening upon me very rapidly, and I was eagerly acquainting myself with its multifarious lessons.
We arrived in Baltimore on Sunday morning, and landed at Smith’s wharf61, not far from Bowly’s wharf. We had on board the sloop a large flock of sheep, for the Baltimore market; and, after assisting in driving them to the slaughter62 house of Mr. Curtis, on Loudon Slater’s Hill, I was speedily conducted by Rich—one of the hands belonging to the sloop—to my new home in Alliciana street, near Gardiner’s ship-yard, on Fell’s Point. Mr. and Mrs. Hugh Auld, my new mistress and master, were both at home, and met me at the door with their rosy63 cheeked little son, Thomas, [108] to take care of whom was to constitute my future occupation. In fact, it was to “little Tommy,” rather than to his parents, that old master made a present of me; and though there was no legal form or arrangement entered into, I have no doubt that Mr. and Mrs. Auld felt that, in due time, I should be the legal property of their bright-eyed and beloved boy, Tommy. I was struck with the appearance, especially, of my new mistress. Her face was lighted with the kindliest emotions; and the reflex influence of her countenance64, as well as the tenderness with which she seemed to regard me, while asking me sundry65 little questions, greatly delighted me, and lit up, to my fancy, the pathway of my future. Miss Lucretia was kind; but my new mistress, “Miss Sophy,” surpassed her in kindness of manner. Little Thomas was affectionately told by his mother, that “there was his Freddy,” and that “Freddy would take care of him;” and I was told to “be kind to little Tommy”—an injunction I scarcely needed, for I had already fallen in love with the dear boy; and with these little ceremonies I was initiated66 into my new home, and entered upon my peculiar67 duties, with not a cloud above the horizon.
I may say here, that I regard my removal from Col. Lloyd’s plantation as one of the most interesting and fortunate events of my life. Viewing it in the light of human likelihoods, it is quite probable that, but for the mere68 circumstance of being thus removed before the rigors69 of slavery had fastened upon me; before my young spirit had been crushed under the iron control of the slave-driver, instead of being, today, a FREEMAN, I might have been wearing the galling70 chains of slavery. I have sometimes felt, however, that there was something more intelligent than chance, and something more certain than luck, to be seen in the circumstance. If I have made any progress in knowledge; if I have cherished any honorable aspirations71, or have, in any manner, worthily72 discharged the duties of a member of an oppressed people; this little circumstance must be allowed its due weight[109] in giving my life that direction. I have ever regarded it as the first plain manifestation73 of that
Divinity that shapes our ends,
I was not the only boy on the plantation that might have been sent to live in Baltimore. There was a wide margin75 from which to select. There were boys younger, boys older, and boys of the same age, belonging to my old master some at his own house, and some at his farm—but the high privilege fell to my lot.
I may be deemed superstitious76 and egotistical, in regarding this event as a special interposition of Divine Providence77 in my favor; but the thought is a part of my history, and I should be false to the earliest and most cherished sentiments of my soul, if I suppressed, or hesitated to avow78 that opinion, although it may be characterized as irrational79 by the wise, and ridiculous by the scoffer80. From my earliest recollections of serious matters, I date the entertainment of something like an ineffaceable conviction, that slavery would not always be able to hold me within its foul81 embrace; and this conviction, like a word of living faith, strengthened me through the darkest trials of my lot. This good spirit was from God; and to him I offer thanksgiving and praise.
点击收听单词发音
1 plantation | |
n.种植园,大农场 | |
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2 auld | |
adj.老的,旧的 | |
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3 cuff | |
n.袖口;手铐;护腕;vt.用手铐铐;上袖口 | |
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4 heed | |
v.注意,留意;n.注意,留心 | |
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5 mischievous | |
adj.调皮的,恶作剧的,有害的,伤人的 | |
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6 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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7 bestowed | |
赠给,授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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8 ration | |
n.定量(pl.)给养,口粮;vt.定量供应 | |
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9 solely | |
adv.仅仅,唯一地 | |
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10 rascal | |
n.流氓;不诚实的人 | |
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11 cinder | |
n.余烬,矿渣 | |
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12 gash | |
v.深切,划开;n.(深长的)切(伤)口;裂缝 | |
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13 parlor | |
n.店铺,营业室;会客室,客厅 | |
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14 epithets | |
n.(表示性质、特征等的)词语( epithet的名词复数 ) | |
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15 tormentor | |
n. 使苦痛之人, 使苦恼之物, 侧幕 =tormenter | |
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16 linen | |
n.亚麻布,亚麻线,亚麻制品;adj.亚麻布制的,亚麻的 | |
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17 bind | |
vt.捆,包扎;装订;约束;使凝固;vi.变硬 | |
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18 binding | |
有约束力的,有效的,应遵守的 | |
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19 awaken | |
vi.醒,觉醒;vt.唤醒,使觉醒,唤起,激起 | |
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20 severely | |
adv.严格地;严厉地;非常恶劣地 | |
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21 reins | |
感情,激情; 缰( rein的名词复数 ); 控制手段; 掌管; (成人带着幼儿走路以防其走失时用的)保护带 | |
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22 humane | |
adj.人道的,富有同情心的 | |
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23 bondage | |
n.奴役,束缚 | |
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24 penetrate | |
v.透(渗)入;刺入,刺穿;洞察,了解 | |
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25 vividly | |
adv.清楚地,鲜明地,生动地 | |
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26 lodged | |
v.存放( lodge的过去式和过去分词 );暂住;埋入;(权利、权威等)归属 | |
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27 gashes | |
n.深长的切口(或伤口)( gash的名词复数 )v.划伤,割破( gash的第三人称单数 ) | |
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28 refinement | |
n.文雅;高尚;精美;精制;精炼 | |
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29 sufficiently | |
adv.足够地,充分地 | |
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30 maple | |
n.槭树,枫树,槭木 | |
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31 literally | |
adv.照字面意义,逐字地;确实 | |
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32 devour | |
v.吞没;贪婪地注视或谛听,贪读;使着迷 | |
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33 oyster | |
n.牡蛎;沉默寡言的人 | |
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34 shingles | |
n.带状疱疹;(布满海边的)小圆石( shingle的名词复数 );屋顶板;木瓦(板);墙面板 | |
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35 outrage | |
n.暴行,侮辱,愤怒;vt.凌辱,激怒 | |
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36 unnatural | |
adj.不自然的;反常的 | |
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37 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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38 creek | |
n.小溪,小河,小湾 | |
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39 motive | |
n.动机,目的;adv.发动的,运动的 | |
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40 severed | |
v.切断,断绝( sever的过去式和过去分词 );断,裂 | |
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41 blotted | |
涂污( blot的过去式和过去分词 ); (用吸墨纸)吸干 | |
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42 relish | |
n.滋味,享受,爱好,调味品;vt.加调味料,享受,品味;vi.有滋味 | |
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43 questionable | |
adj.可疑的,有问题的 | |
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44 consolation | |
n.安慰,慰问 | |
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45 eloquent | |
adj.雄辩的,口才流利的;明白显示出的 | |
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46 trumpet | |
n.喇叭,喇叭声;v.吹喇叭,吹嘘 | |
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47 crackers | |
adj.精神错乱的,癫狂的n.爆竹( cracker的名词复数 );薄脆饼干;(认为)十分愉快的事;迷人的姑娘 | |
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48 sloop | |
n.单桅帆船 | |
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49 sloops | |
n.单桅纵帆船( sloop的名词复数 ) | |
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50 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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51 accomplished | |
adj.有才艺的;有造诣的;达到了的 | |
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52 gore | |
n.凝血,血污;v.(动物)用角撞伤,用牙刺破;缝以补裆;顶 | |
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53 brutal | |
adj.残忍的,野蛮的,不讲理的 | |
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54 vessels | |
n.血管( vessel的名词复数 );船;容器;(具有特殊品质或接受特殊品质的)人 | |
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55 sweeping | |
adj.范围广大的,一扫无遗的 | |
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56 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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57 ashore | |
adv.在(向)岸上,上岸 | |
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58 dome | |
n.圆屋顶,拱顶 | |
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59 imposing | |
adj.使人难忘的,壮丽的,堂皇的,雄伟的 | |
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60 grandeur | |
n.伟大,崇高,宏伟,庄严,豪华 | |
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61 wharf | |
n.码头,停泊处 | |
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62 slaughter | |
n.屠杀,屠宰;vt.屠杀,宰杀 | |
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63 rosy | |
adj.美好的,乐观的,玫瑰色的 | |
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64 countenance | |
n.脸色,面容;面部表情;vt.支持,赞同 | |
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65 sundry | |
adj.各式各样的,种种的 | |
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66 initiated | |
n. 创始人 adj. 新加入的 vt. 开始,创始,启蒙,介绍加入 | |
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67 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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68 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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69 rigors | |
严格( rigor的名词复数 ); 严酷; 严密; (由惊吓或中毒等导致的身体)僵直 | |
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70 galling | |
adj.难堪的,使烦恼的,使焦躁的 | |
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71 aspirations | |
强烈的愿望( aspiration的名词复数 ); 志向; 发送气音; 发 h 音 | |
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72 worthily | |
重要地,可敬地,正当地 | |
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73 manifestation | |
n.表现形式;表明;现象 | |
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74 hew | |
v.砍;伐;削 | |
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75 margin | |
n.页边空白;差额;余地,余裕;边,边缘 | |
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76 superstitious | |
adj.迷信的 | |
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77 providence | |
n.深谋远虑,天道,天意;远见;节约;上帝 | |
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78 avow | |
v.承认,公开宣称 | |
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79 irrational | |
adj.无理性的,失去理性的 | |
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80 scoffer | |
嘲笑者 | |
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81 foul | |
adj.污秽的;邪恶的;v.弄脏;妨害;犯规;n.犯规 | |
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