Presently we got under way again. We came to the shallow, yellow, muddy South Platte, with its low banks and its scattering5 flat sand-bars and pigmy islands—a melancholy6 stream straggling through the centre of the enormous flat plain, and only saved from being impossible to find with the naked eye by its sentinel rank of scattering trees standing7 on either bank. The Platte was “up,” they said—which made me wish I could see it when it was down, if it could look any sicker and sorrier. They said it was a dangerous stream to cross, now, because its quicksands were liable to swallow up horses, coach and passengers if an attempt was made to ford8 it. But the mails had to go, and we made the attempt. Once or twice in midstream the wheels sunk into the yielding sands so threateningly that we half believed we had dreaded9 and avoided the sea all our lives to be shipwrecked in a “mud-wagon” in the middle of a desert at last. But we dragged through and sped away toward the setting sun.
Next morning, just before dawn, when about five hundred and fifty miles from St. Joseph, our mud-wagon broke down. We were to be delayed five or six hours, and therefore we took horses, by invitation, and joined a party who were just starting on a buffalo11 hunt. It was noble sport galloping12 over the plain in the dewy freshness of the morning, but our part of the hunt ended in disaster and disgrace, for a wounded buffalo bull chased the passenger Bemis nearly two miles, and then he forsook13 his horse and took to a lone14 tree. He was very sullen15 about the matter for some twenty-four hours, but at last he began to soften16 little by little, and finally he said:
“Well, it was not funny, and there was no sense in those gawks making themselves so facetious17 over it. I tell you I was angry in earnest for awhile. I should have shot that long gangly lubber they called Hank, if I could have done it without crippling six or seven other people—but of course I couldn’t, the old ’Allen’s’ so confounded comprehensive. I wish those loafers had been up in the tree; they wouldn’t have wanted to laugh so. If I had had a horse worth a cent—but no, the minute he saw that buffalo bull wheel on him and give a bellow18, he raised straight up in the air and stood on his heels. The saddle began to slip, and I took him round the neck and laid close to him, and began to pray. Then he came down and stood up on the other end awhile, and the bull actually stopped pawing sand and bellowing19 to contemplate20 the inhuman21 spectacle.
“Then the bull made a pass at him and uttered a bellow that sounded perfectly22 frightful23, it was so close to me, and that seemed to literally24 prostrate25 my horse’s reason, and make a raving26 distracted maniac27 of him, and I wish I may die if he didn’t stand on his head for a quarter of a minute and shed tears. He was absolutely out of his mind—he was, as sure as truth itself, and he really didn’t know what he was doing. Then the bull came charging at us, and my horse dropped down on all fours and took a fresh start—and then for the next ten minutes he would actually throw one hand-spring after another so fast that the bull began to get unsettled, too, and didn’t know where to start in—and so he stood there sneezing, and shovelling28 dust over his back, and bellowing every now and then, and thinking he had got a fifteen-hundred dollar circus horse for breakfast, certain. Well, I was first out on his neck—the horse’s, not the bull’s—and then underneath29, and next on his rump, and sometimes head up, and sometimes heels—but I tell you it seemed solemn and awful to be ripping and tearing and carrying on so in the presence of death, as you might say. Pretty soon the bull made a snatch for us and brought away some of my horse’s tail (I suppose, but do not know, being pretty busy at the time), but something made him hungry for solitude and suggested to him to get up and hunt for it.
“And then you ought to have seen that spider legged old skeleton go! and you ought to have seen the bull cut out after him, too—head down, tongue out, tail up, bellowing like everything, and actually mowing30 down the weeds, and tearing up the earth, and boosting up the sand like a whirlwind! By George, it was a hot race! I and the saddle were back on the rump, and I had the bridle31 in my teeth and holding on to the pommel with both hands. First we left the dogs behind; then we passed a jackass rabbit; then we overtook a cayote, and were gaining on an antelope32 when the rotten girth let go and threw me about thirty yards off to the left, and as the saddle went down over the horse’s rump he gave it a lift with his heels that sent it more than four hundred yards up in the air, I wish I may die in a minute if he didn’t. I fell at the foot of the only solitary33 tree there was in nine counties adjacent (as any creature could see with the naked eye), and the next second I had hold of the bark with four sets of nails and my teeth, and the next second after that I was astraddle of the main limb and blaspheming my luck in a way that made my breath smell of brimstone. I had the bull, now, if he did not think of one thing. But that one thing I dreaded. I dreaded it very seriously. There was a possibility that the bull might not think of it, but there were greater chances that he would. I made up my mind what I would do in case he did. It was a little over forty feet to the ground from where I sat. I cautiously unwound the lariat34 from the pommel of my saddle——”
“Your saddle? Did you take your saddle up in the tree with you?”
“Take it up in the tree with me? Why, how you talk. Of course I didn’t. No man could do that. It fell in the tree when it came down.”
“Oh—exactly.”
“Certainly. I unwound the lariat, and fastened one end of it to the limb. It was the very best green raw-hide, and capable of sustaining tons. I made a slip-noose in the other end, and then hung it down to see the length. It reached down twenty-two feet—half way to the ground. I then loaded every barrel of the Allen with a double charge. I felt satisfied. I said to myself, if he never thinks of that one thing that I dread10, all right—but if he does, all right anyhow—I am fixed35 for him. But don’t you know that the very thing a man dreads36 is the thing that always happens? Indeed it is so. I watched the bull, now, with anxiety—anxiety which no one can conceive of who has not been in such a situation and felt that at any moment death might come. Presently a thought came into the bull’s eye. I knew it! said I—if my nerve fails now, I am lost. Sure enough, it was just as I had dreaded, he started in to climb the tree——”
“What, the bull?”
“Of course—who else?”
“But a bull can’t climb a tree.”
“He can’t, can’t he? Since you know so much about it, did you ever see a bull try?”
“No! I never dreamt of such a thing.”
“Well, then, what is the use of your talking that way, then? Because you never saw a thing done, is that any reason why it can’t be done?”
“Well, all right—go on. What did you do?”
“The bull started up, and got along well for about ten feet, then slipped and slid back. I breathed easier. He tried it again—got up a little higher—slipped again. But he came at it once more, and this time he was careful. He got gradually higher and higher, and my spirits went down more and more. Up he came—an inch at a time—with his eyes hot, and his tongue hanging out. Higher and higher—hitched his foot over the stump37 of a limb, and looked up, as much as to say, ‘You are my meat, friend.’ Up again—higher and higher, and getting more excited the closer he got. He was within ten feet of me! I took a long breath,—and then said I, ‘It is now or never.’ I had the coil of the lariat all ready; I paid it out slowly, till it hung right over his head; all of a sudden I let go of the slack, and the slipnoose fell fairly round his neck! Quicker than lightning I out with the Allen and let him have it in the face. It was an awful roar, and must have scared the bull out of his senses. When the smoke cleared away, there he was, dangling38 in the air, twenty foot from the ground, and going out of one convulsion into another faster than you could count! I didn’t stop to count, anyhow—I shinned down the tree and shot for home.”
“Bemis, is all that true, just as you have stated it?”
“I wish I may rot in my tracks and die the death of a dog if it isn’t.”
“Well, we can’t refuse to believe it, and we don’t. But if there were some proofs——”
“Proofs! Did I bring back my lariat?”
“No.”
“Did I bring back my horse?”
“No.”
“Did you ever see the bull again?”
“No.”
“Well, then, what more do you want? I never saw anybody as particular as you are about a little thing like that.”
I made up my mind that if this man was not a liar39 he only missed it by the skin of his teeth. This episode reminds me of an incident of my brief sojourn40 in Siam, years afterward41. The European citizens of a town in the neighborhood of Bangkok had a prodigy42 among them by the name of Eckert, an Englishman—a person famous for the number, ingenuity43 and imposing44 magnitude of his lies. They were always repeating his most celebrated45 falsehoods, and always trying to “draw him out” before strangers; but they seldom succeeded. Twice he was invited to the house where I was visiting, but nothing could seduce46 him into a specimen47 lie. One day a planter named Bascom, an influential48 man, and a proud and sometimes irascible one, invited me to ride over with him and call on Eckert. As we jogged along, said he:
“Now, do you know where the fault lies? It lies in putting Eckert on his guard. The minute the boys go to pumping at Eckert he knows perfectly well what they are after, and of course he shuts up his shell. Anybody might know he would. But when we get there, we must play him finer than that. Let him shape the conversation to suit himself—let him drop it or change it whenever he wants to. Let him see that nobody is trying to draw him out. Just let him have his own way. He will soon forget himself and begin to grind out lies like a mill. Don’t get impatient—just keep quiet, and let me play him. I will make him lie. It does seem to me that the boys must be blind to overlook such an obvious and simple trick as that.”
Eckert received us heartily—a pleasant-spoken, gentle-mannered creature. We sat in the veranda49 an hour, sipping50 English ale, and talking about the king, and the sacred white elephant, the Sleeping Idol51, and all manner of things; and I noticed that my comrade never led the conversation himself or shaped it, but simply followed Eckert’s lead, and betrayed no solicitude52 and no anxiety about anything. The effect was shortly perceptible. Eckert began to grow communicative; he grew more and more at his ease, and more and more talkative and sociable53. Another hour passed in the same way, and then all of a sudden Eckert said:
“Oh, by the way! I came near forgetting. I have got a thing here to astonish you. Such a thing as neither you nor any other man ever heard of—I’ve got a cat that will eat cocoanut! Common green cocoanut—and not only eat the meat, but drink the milk. It is so—I’ll swear to it.”
A quick glance from Bascom—a glance that I understood—then:
“Why, bless my soul, I never heard of such a thing. Man, it is impossible.”
“I knew you would say it. I’ll fetch the cat.”
He went in the house. Bascom said:
“There—what did I tell you? Now, that is the way to handle Eckert. You see, I have petted him along patiently, and put his suspicions to sleep. I am glad we came. You tell the boys about it when you go back. Cat eat a cocoanut—oh, my! Now, that is just his way, exactly—he will tell the absurdest lie, and trust to luck to get out of it again.
“Cat eat a cocoanut—the innocent fool!”
Eckert approached with his cat, sure enough.
Bascom smiled. Said he:
“I’ll hold the cat—you bring a cocoanut.”
Eckert split one open, and chopped up some pieces. Bascom smuggled54 a wink55 to me, and proffered56 a slice of the fruit to puss. She snatched it, swallowed it ravenously57, and asked for more!
We rode our two miles in silence, and wide apart. At least I was silent, though Bascom cuffed58 his horse and cursed him a good deal, notwithstanding the horse was behaving well enough. When I branched off homeward, Bascom said:
“Keep the horse till morning. And—you need not speak of this—foolishness to the boys.”
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1
solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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meteoric
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| adj.流星的，转瞬即逝的，突然的 | |
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3
crumbled
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| （把…）弄碎， （使）碎成细屑( crumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 衰落； 坍塌； 损坏 | |
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sumptuous
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| adj.豪华的，奢侈的，华丽的 | |
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5
scattering
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| n.[物]散射；散乱，分散；在媒介质中的散播adj.散乱的；分散在不同范围的；广泛扩散的；（选票）数量分散的v.散射(scatter的ing形式)；散布；驱散 | |
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6
melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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7
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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Ford
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| n.浅滩，水浅可涉处；v.涉水，涉过 | |
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9
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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10
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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11
buffalo
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| n.(北美)野牛；(亚洲)水牛 | |
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12
galloping
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| adj. 飞驰的, 急性的 动词gallop的现在分词形式 | |
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13
forsook
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| forsake的过去式 | |
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14
lone
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| adj.孤寂的，单独的；唯一的 | |
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sullen
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| adj.愠怒的，闷闷不乐的，(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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16
soften
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| v.(使)变柔软；(使)变柔和 | |
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17
facetious
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| adj.轻浮的，好开玩笑的 | |
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18
bellow
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| v.吼叫，怒吼；大声发出，大声喝道 | |
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bellowing
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| v.发出吼叫声，咆哮（尤指因痛苦）( bellow的现在分词 )；（愤怒地）说出（某事），大叫 | |
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contemplate
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| vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视 | |
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21
inhuman
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| adj.残忍的，不人道的，无人性的 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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frightful
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| adj.可怕的；讨厌的 | |
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literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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25
prostrate
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| v.拜倒，平卧，衰竭；adj.拜倒的，平卧的，衰竭的 | |
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26
raving
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| adj.说胡话的；疯狂的，怒吼的；非常漂亮的；令人醉心[痴心]的v.胡言乱语(rave的现在分词)n.胡话；疯话adv.胡言乱语地；疯狂地 | |
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maniac
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| n.精神癫狂的人；疯子 | |
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28
shovelling
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| v.铲子( shovel的现在分词 )；锹；推土机、挖土机等的)铲；铲形部份 | |
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29
underneath
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| adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面 | |
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30
mowing
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| n.割草，一次收割量，牧草地v.刈，割( mow的现在分词 ) | |
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31
bridle
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| n.笼头，束缚；vt.抑制，约束；动怒 | |
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antelope
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| n.羚羊；羚羊皮 | |
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33
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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lariat
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| n.系绳，套索；v.用套索套捕 | |
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35
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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36
dreads
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| n.恐惧，畏惧( dread的名词复数 )；令人恐惧的事物v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的第三人称单数 ) | |
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37
stump
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| n.残株，烟蒂，讲演台；v.砍断，蹒跚而走 | |
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38
dangling
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| 悬吊着( dangle的现在分词 )； 摆动不定； 用某事物诱惑…； 吊胃口 | |
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39
liar
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| n.说谎的人 | |
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40
sojourn
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| v./n.旅居，寄居；逗留 | |
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41
afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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42
prodigy
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| n.惊人的事物，奇迹，神童，天才，预兆 | |
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43
ingenuity
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| n.别出心裁；善于发明创造 | |
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44
imposing
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| adj.使人难忘的，壮丽的，堂皇的，雄伟的 | |
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45
celebrated
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| adj.有名的，声誉卓著的 | |
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46
seduce
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| vt.勾引，诱奸，诱惑，引诱 | |
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47
specimen
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| n.样本，标本 | |
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48
influential
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| adj.有影响的，有权势的 | |
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49
veranda
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| n.走廊；阳台 | |
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50
sipping
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| v.小口喝，呷，抿( sip的现在分词 ) | |
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51
idol
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| n.偶像，红人，宠儿 | |
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52
solicitude
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| n.焦虑 | |
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53
sociable
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| adj.好交际的，友好的，合群的 | |
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54
smuggled
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| 水货 | |
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55
wink
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| n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁 | |
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56
proffered
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| v.提供，贡献，提出( proffer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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57
ravenously
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| adv.大嚼地，饥饿地 | |
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58
cuffed
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| v.掌打，拳打( cuff的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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