The mountains are very high and steep about Carson, Eagle and Washoe Valleys—very high and very steep, and so when the snow gets to melting off fast in the Spring and the warm surface-earth begins to moisten and soften1, the disastrous2 land-slides commence. The reader cannot know what a land-slide is, unless he has lived in that country and seen the whole side of a mountain taken off some fine morning and deposited down in the valley, leaving a vast, treeless, unsightly scar upon the mountain’s front to keep the circumstance fresh in his memory all the years that he may go on living within seventy miles of that place.
General Buncombe was shipped out to Nevada in the invoice3 of Territorial4 officers, to be United States Attorney. He considered himself a lawyer of parts, and he very much wanted an opportunity to manifest it—partly for the pure gratification of it and partly because his salary was Territorially5 meagre (which is a strong expression). Now the older citizens of a new territory look down upon the rest of the world with a calm, benevolent6 compassion7, as long as it keeps out of the way—when it gets in the way they snub it. Sometimes this latter takes the shape of a practical joke.
One morning Dick Hyde rode furiously up to General Buncombe’s door in Carson city and rushed into his presence without stopping to tie his horse. He seemed much excited. He told the General that he wanted him to conduct a suit for him and would pay him five hundred dollars if he achieved a victory. And then, with violent gestures and a world of profanity, he poured out his grief. He said it was pretty well known that for some years he had been farming (or ranching9 as the more customary term is) in Washoe District, and making a successful thing of it, and furthermore it was known that his ranch8 was situated10 just in the edge of the valley, and that Tom Morgan owned a ranch immediately above it on the mountain side.
And now the trouble was, that one of those hated and dreaded11 land-slides had come and slid Morgan’s ranch, fences, cabins, cattle, barns and everything down on top of his ranch and exactly covered up every single vestige12 of his property, to a depth of about thirty-eight feet. Morgan was in possession and refused to vacate the premises—said he was occupying his own cabin and not interfering13 with anybody else’s—and said the cabin was standing14 on the same dirt and same ranch it had always stood on, and he would like to see anybody make him vacate.
“And when I reminded him,” said Hyde, weeping, “that it was on top of my ranch and that he was trespassing15, he had the infernal meanness to ask me why didn’t I stay on my ranch and hold possession when I see him a-coming! Why didn’t I stay on it, the blathering lunatic—by George, when I heard that racket and looked up that hill it was just like the whole world was a-ripping and a-tearing down that mountain side—splinters, and cord-wood, thunder and lightning, hail and snow, odds16 and ends of hay stacks, and awful clouds of dust!—trees going end over end in the air, rocks as big as a house jumping ’bout a thousand feet high and busting17 into ten million pieces, cattle turned inside out and a-coming head on with their tails hanging out between their teeth!—and in the midst of all that wrack18 and destruction sot that cussed Morgan on his gate-post, a-wondering why I didn’t stay and hold possession! Laws bless me, I just took one glimpse, General, and lit out’n the county in three jumps exactly.
“But what grinds me is that that Morgan hangs on there and won’t move off’n that ranch—says it’s his’n and he’s going to keep it—likes it better’n he did when it was higher up the hill. Mad! Well, I’ve been so mad for two days I couldn’t find my way to town—been wandering around in the brush in a starving condition—got anything here to drink, General? But I’m here now, and I’m a-going to law. You hear me!”
Never in all the world, perhaps, were a man’s feelings so outraged19 as were the General’s. He said he had never heard of such high-handed conduct in all his life as this Morgan’s. And he said there was no use in going to law—Morgan had no shadow of right to remain where he was—nobody in the wide world would uphold him in it, and no lawyer would take his case and no judge listen to it. Hyde said that right there was where he was mistaken—everybody in town sustained Morgan; Hal Brayton, a very smart lawyer, had taken his case; the courts being in vacation, it was to be tried before a referee20, and ex-Governor Roop had already been appointed to that office and would open his court in a large public hall near the hotel at two that afternoon.
The General was amazed. He said he had suspected before that the people of that Territory were fools, and now he knew it. But he said rest easy, rest easy and collect the witnesses, for the victory was just as certain as if the conflict were already over. Hyde wiped away his tears and left.
At two in the afternoon referee Roop’s Court opened and Roop appeared throned among his sheriffs, the witnesses, and spectators, and wearing upon his face a solemnity so awe-inspiring that some of his fellow- conspirators21 had misgivings22 that maybe he had not comprehended, after all, that this was merely a joke. An unearthly stillness prevailed, for at the slightest noise the judge uttered sternly the command:
“Order in the Court!”
And the sheriffs promptly24 echoed it. Presently the General elbowed his way through the crowd of spectators, with his arms full of law-books, and on his ears fell an order from the judge which was the first respectful recognition of his high official dignity that had ever saluted25 them, and it trickled26 pleasantly through his whole system:
“Way for the United States Attorney!”
The witnesses were called—legislators, high government officers, ranchmen, miners, Indians, Chinamen, negroes. Three fourths of them were called by the defendant27 Morgan, but no matter, their testimony28 invariably went in favor of the plaintiff Hyde. Each new witness only added new testimony to the absurdity29 of a man’s claiming to own another man’s property because his farm had slid down on top of it. Then the Morgan lawyers made their speeches, and seemed to make singularly weak ones—they did really nothing to help the Morgan cause. And now the General, with exultation30 in his face, got up and made an impassioned effort; he pounded the table, he banged the law-books, he shouted, and roared, and howled, he quoted from everything and everybody, poetry, sarcasm31, statistics, history, pathos32, bathos, blasphemy33, and wound up with a grand war-whoop for free speech, freedom of the press, free schools, the Glorious Bird of America and the principles of eternal justice! [Applause.]
When the General sat down, he did it with the conviction that if there was anything in good strong testimony, a great speech and believing and admiring countenances34 all around, Mr. Morgan’s case was killed. Ex- Governor Roop leant his head upon his hand for some minutes, thinking, and the still audience waited for his decision. Then he got up and stood erect35, with bended head, and thought again. Then he walked the floor with long, deliberate strides, his chin in his hand, and still the audience waited. At last he returned to his throne, seated himself, and began impressively:
“Gentlemen, I feel the great responsibility that rests upon me this day. This is no ordinary case. On the contrary it is plain that it is the most solemn and awful that ever man was called upon to decide. Gentlemen, I have listened attentively36 to the evidence, and have perceived that the weight of it, the overwhelming weight of it, is in favor of the plaintiff Hyde. I have listened also to the remarks of counsel, with high interest—and especially will I commend the masterly and irrefutable logic37 of the distinguished38 gentleman who represents the plaintiff. But gentlemen, let us beware how we allow mere23 human testimony, human ingenuity39 in argument and human ideas of equity40, to influence us at a moment so solemn as this. Gentlemen, it ill becomes us, worms as we are, to meddle41 with the decrees of Heaven. It is plain to me that Heaven, in its inscrutable wisdom, has seen fit to move this defendant’s ranch for a purpose. We are but creatures, and we must submit. If Heaven has chosen to favor the defendant Morgan in this marked and wonderful manner; and if Heaven, dissatisfied with the position of the Morgan ranch upon the mountain side, has chosen to remove it to a position more eligible42 and more advantageous43 for its owner, it ill becomes us, insects as we are, to question the legality of the act or inquire into the reasons that prompted it. No—Heaven created the ranches44 and it is Heaven’s prerogative45 to rearrange them, to experiment with them around at its pleasure. It is for us to submit, without repining.
“I warn you that this thing which has happened is a thing with which the sacrilegious hands and brains and tongues of men must not meddle. Gentlemen, it is the verdict of this court that the plaintiff, Richard Hyde, has been deprived of his ranch by the visitation of God! And from this decision there is no appeal.”
Buncombe seized his cargo46 of law-books and plunged47 out of the court-room frantic48 with indignation. He pronounced Roop to be a miraculous49 fool, an inspired idiot. In all good faith he returned at night and remonstrated50 with Roop upon his extravagant51 decision, and implored52 him to walk the floor and think for half an hour, and see if he could not figure out some sort of modification53 of the verdict. Roop yielded at last and got up to walk. He walked two hours and a half, and at last his face lit up happily and he told Buncombe it had occurred to him that the ranch underneath54 the new Morgan ranch still belonged to Hyde, that his title to the ground was just as good as it had ever been, and therefore he was of opinion that Hyde had a right to dig it out from under there and—
The General never waited to hear the end of it. He was always an impatient and irascible man, that way. At the end of two months the fact that he had been played upon with a joke had managed to bore itself, like another Hoosac Tunnel, through the solid adamant55 of his understanding.
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1
soften
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| v.(使)变柔软；(使)变柔和 | |
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disastrous
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| adj.灾难性的，造成灾害的；极坏的，很糟的 | |
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invoice
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| vt.开发票；n.发票，装货清单 | |
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territorial
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| adj.领土的，领地的 | |
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territorially
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benevolent
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| adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的 | |
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compassion
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| n.同情，怜悯 | |
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ranch
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| n.大牧场，大农场 | |
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ranching
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| adj.放牧的 | |
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situated
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| adj.坐落在...的，处于某种境地的 | |
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dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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vestige
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| n.痕迹，遗迹，残余 | |
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interfering
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| adj. 妨碍的 动词interfere的现在分词 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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15
trespassing
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| [法]非法入侵 | |
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odds
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| n.让步，机率，可能性，比率；胜败优劣之别 | |
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17
busting
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| 打破，打碎( bust的现在分词 )； 突击搜查（或搜捕）； （使）降级，降低军阶 | |
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18
wrack
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| v.折磨；n.海草 | |
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outraged
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| a.震惊的，义愤填膺的 | |
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referee
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| n.裁判员．仲裁人，代表人，鉴定人 | |
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conspirators
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| n.共谋者，阴谋家( conspirator的名词复数 ) | |
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misgivings
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| n.疑虑，担忧，害怕；疑虑，担心，恐惧( misgiving的名词复数 )；疑惧 | |
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23
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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promptly
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| adv.及时地，敏捷地 | |
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saluted
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| v.欢迎，致敬( salute的过去式和过去分词 )；赞扬，赞颂 | |
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trickled
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| v.滴( trickle的过去式和过去分词 )；淌；使)慢慢走；缓慢移动 | |
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defendant
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| n.被告；adj.处于被告地位的 | |
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testimony
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| n.证词；见证，证明 | |
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absurdity
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| n.荒谬，愚蠢；谬论 | |
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30
exultation
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| n.狂喜，得意 | |
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31
sarcasm
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| n.讥讽，讽刺，嘲弄，反话 （adj.sarcastic） | |
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32
pathos
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| n.哀婉，悲怆 | |
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33
blasphemy
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| n.亵渎，渎神 | |
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countenances
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| n.面容( countenance的名词复数 )；表情；镇静；道义支持 | |
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erect
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| n./v.树立，建立，使竖立；adj.直立的，垂直的 | |
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attentively
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| adv.聚精会神地；周到地；谛；凝神 | |
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logic
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| n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性 | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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ingenuity
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| n.别出心裁；善于发明创造 | |
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equity
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| n.公正，公平，（无固定利息的）股票 | |
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meddle
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| v.干预，干涉，插手 | |
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42
eligible
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| adj.有条件被选中的；(尤指婚姻等)合适(意)的 | |
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advantageous
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| adj.有利的；有帮助的 | |
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44
ranches
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| 大农场， （兼种果树，养鸡等的）大牧场( ranch的名词复数 ) | |
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prerogative
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| n.特权 | |
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cargo
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| n.(一只船或一架飞机运载的)货物 | |
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plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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48
frantic
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| adj.狂乱的，错乱的，激昂的 | |
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49
miraculous
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| adj.像奇迹一样的，不可思议的 | |
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50
remonstrated
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| v.抗议( remonstrate的过去式和过去分词 )；告诫 | |
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51
extravagant
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| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
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52
implored
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| 恳求或乞求（某人）( implore的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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53
modification
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| n.修改，改进，缓和，减轻 | |
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54
underneath
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| adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面 | |
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55
adamant
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| adj.坚硬的，固执的 | |
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