There was a grand time over Buck4 Fanshaw when he died. He was a representative citizen. He had “killed his man”—not in his own quarrel, it is true, but in defence of a stranger unfairly beset5 by numbers. He had kept a sumptuous6 saloon. He had been the proprietor7 of a dashing helpmeet whom he could have discarded without the formality of a divorce. He had held a high position in the fire department and been a very Warwick in politics. When he died there was great lamentation8 throughout the town, but especially in the vast bottom-stratum of society.
On the inquest it was shown that Buck Fanshaw, in the delirium9 of a wasting typhoid fever, had taken arsenic10, shot himself through the body, cut his throat, and jumped out of a four-story window and broken his neck—and after due deliberation, the jury, sad and tearful, but with intelligence unblinded by its sorrow, brought in a verdict of death “by the visitation of God.” What could the world do without juries?
Prodigious11 preparations were made for the funeral. All the vehicles in town were hired, all the saloons put in mourning, all the municipal and fire-company flags hung at half-mast, and all the firemen ordered to muster12 in uniform and bring their machines duly draped in black. Now—let us remark in parenthesis—as all the peoples of the earth had representative adventurers in the Silverland, and as each adventurer had brought the slang of his nation or his locality with him, the combination made the slang of Nevada the richest and the most infinitely13 varied14 and copious15 that had ever existed anywhere in the world, perhaps, except in the mines of California in the “early days.” Slang was the language of Nevada. It was hard to preach a sermon without it, and be understood. Such phrases as “You bet!” “Oh, no, I reckon not!” “No Irish need apply,” and a hundred others, became so common as to fall from the lips of a speaker unconsciously—and very often when they did not touch the subject under discussion and consequently failed to mean anything.
After Buck Fanshaw’s inquest, a meeting of the short-haired brotherhood16 was held, for nothing can be done on the Pacific coast without a public meeting and an expression of sentiment. Regretful resolutions were passed and various committees appointed; among others, a committee of one was deputed to call on the minister, a fragile, gentle, spiritual new fledgling from an Eastern theological seminary, and as yet unacquainted with the ways of the mines. The committeeman, “Scotty” Briggs, made his visit; and in after days it was worth something to hear the minister tell about it. Scotty was a stalwart rough, whose customary suit, when on weighty official business, like committee work, was a fire helmet, flaming red flannel17 shirt, patent leather belt with spanner and revolver attached, coat hung over arm, and pants stuffed into boot tops. He formed something of a contrast to the pale theological student. It is fair to say of Scotty, however, in passing, that he had a warm heart, and a strong love for his friends, and never entered into a quarrel when he could reasonably keep out of it. Indeed, it was commonly said that whenever one of Scotty’s fights was investigated, it always turned out that it had originally been no affair of his, but that out of native good-heartedness he had dropped in of his own accord to help the man who was getting the worst of it. He and Buck Fanshaw were bosom18 friends, for years, and had often taken adventurous19 “pot-luck” together. On one occasion, they had thrown off their coats and taken the weaker side in a fight among strangers, and after gaining a hard-earned victory, turned and found that the men they were helping20 had deserted21 early, and not only that, but had stolen their coats and made off with them! But to return to Scotty’s visit to the minister. He was on a sorrowful mission, now, and his face was the picture of woe22. Being admitted to the presence he sat down before the clergyman, placed his fire-hat on an unfinished manuscript sermon under the minister’s nose, took from it a red silk handkerchief, wiped his brow and heaved a sigh of dismal23 impressiveness, explanatory of his business.
He choked, and even shed tears; but with an effort he mastered his voice and said in lugubrious24 tones:
“Are you the duck that runs the gospel-mill next door?”
“Am I the—pardon me, I believe I do not understand?”
With another sigh and a half-sob, Scotty rejoined:
“Why you see we are in a bit of trouble, and the boys thought maybe you would give us a lift, if we’d tackle you—that is, if I’ve got the rights of it and you are the head clerk of the doxology-works next door.”
“I am the shepherd in charge of the flock whose fold is next door.”
“The which?”
“The spiritual adviser25 of the little company of believers whose sanctuary26 adjoins these premises27.”
Scotty scratched his head, reflected a moment, and then said:
“You ruther hold over me, pard. I reckon I can’t call that hand. Ante and pass the buck.”
“How? I beg pardon. What did I understand you to say?”
“Well, you’ve ruther got the bulge28 on me. Or maybe we’ve both got the bulge, somehow. You don’t smoke me and I don’t smoke you. You see, one of the boys has passed in his checks and we want to give him a good send- off, and so the thing I’m on now is to roust out somebody to jerk a little chin-music for us and waltz him through handsome.”
“My friend, I seem to grow more and more bewildered. Your observations are wholly incomprehensible to me. Cannot you simplify them in some way? At first I thought perhaps I understood you, but I grope now. Would it not expedite matters if you restricted yourself to categorical statements of fact unencumbered with obstructing29 accumulations of metaphor30 and allegory?”
Another pause, and more reflection. Then, said Scotty:
“I’ll have to pass, I judge.”
“How?”
“You’ve raised me out, pard.”
“I still fail to catch your meaning.”
“Why, that last lead of yourn is too many for me—that’s the idea. I can’t neither-trump nor follow suit.”
The clergyman sank back in his chair perplexed31. Scotty leaned his head on his hand and gave himself up to thought.
Presently his face came up, sorrowful but confident.
“I’ve got it now, so’s you can savvy,” he said. “What we want is a gospel-sharp. See?”
“A what?”
“Gospel-sharp. Parson.”
“Oh! Why did you not say so before? I am a clergyman—a parson.”
“Now you talk! You see my blind and straddle it like a man. Put it there!”—extending a brawny32 paw, which closed over the minister’s small hand and gave it a shake indicative of fraternal sympathy and fervent33 gratification.
“Now we’re all right, pard. Let’s start fresh. Don’t you mind my snuffling a little—becuz we’re in a power of trouble. You see, one of the boys has gone up the flume—”
“Gone where?”
“Up the flume—throwed up the sponge, you understand.”
“Thrown up the sponge?”
“Yes—kicked the bucket—”
“Ah—has departed to that mysterious country from whose bourne no traveler returns.”
“Return! I reckon not. Why pard, he’s dead!”
“Yes, I understand.”
“Oh, you do? Well I thought maybe you might be getting tangled34 some more. Yes, you see he’s dead again—”
“Again? Why, has he ever been dead before?”
“Dead before? No! Do you reckon a man has got as many lives as a cat? But you bet you he’s awful dead now, poor old boy, and I wish I’d never seen this day. I don’t want no better friend than Buck Fanshaw. I knowed him by the back; and when I know a man and like him, I freeze to him—you hear me. Take him all round, pard, there never was a bullier man in the mines. No man ever knowed Buck Fanshaw to go back on a friend. But it’s all up, you know, it’s all up. It ain’t no use. They’ve scooped35 him.”
“Scooped him?”
“Yes—death has. Well, well, well, we’ve got to give him up. Yes indeed. It’s a kind of a hard world, after all, ain’t it? But pard, he was a rustler36! You ought to seen him get started once. He was a bully37 boy with a glass eye! Just spit in his face and give him room according to his strength, and it was just beautiful to see him peel and go in. He was the worst son of a thief that ever drawed breath. Pard, he was on it! He was on it bigger than an Injun!”
“On it? On what?”
“On the shoot. On the shoulder. On the fight, you understand. He didn’t give a continental38 for any body. Beg your pardon, friend, for coming so near saying a cuss-word—but you see I’m on an awful strain, in this palaver39, on account of having to cramp40 down and draw everything so mild. But we’ve got to give him up. There ain’t any getting around that, I don’t reckon. Now if we can get you to help plant him—”
“Obs’quies is good. Yes. That’s it—that’s our little game. We are going to get the thing up regardless, you know. He was always nifty himself, and so you bet you his funeral ain’t going to be no slouch—solid silver door-plate on his coffin42, six plumes43 on the hearse, and a nigger on the box in a biled shirt and a plug hat—how’s that for high? And we’ll take care of you, pard. We’ll fix you all right. There’ll be a kerridge for you; and whatever you want, you just ’scape out and we’ll ’tend to it. We’ve got a shebang fixed44 up for you to stand behind, in No. 1's house, and don’t you be afraid. Just go in and toot your horn, if you don’t sell a clam45. Put Buck through as bully as you can, pard, for anybody that knowed him will tell you that he was one of the whitest men that was ever in the mines. You can’t draw it too strong. He never could stand it to see things going wrong. He’s done more to make this town quiet and peaceable than any man in it. I’ve seen him lick four Greasers in eleven minutes, myself. If a thing wanted regulating, he warn’t a man to go browsing46 around after somebody to do it, but he would prance47 in and regulate it himself. He warn’t a Catholic. Scasely. He was down on ’em. His word was, ‘No Irish need apply!’ But it didn’t make no difference about that when it came down to what a man’s rights was—and so, when some roughs jumped the Catholic bone-yard and started in to stake out town-lots in it he went for ’em! And he cleaned ’em, too! I was there, pard, and I seen it myself.”
“That was very well indeed—at least the impulse was—whether the act was strictly48 defensible or not. Had deceased any religious convictions? That is to say, did he feel a dependence49 upon, or acknowledge allegiance to a higher power?”
More reflection.
“Well, to simplify it somewhat, was he, or rather had he ever been connected with any organization sequestered51 from secular52 concerns and devoted53 to self-sacrifice in the interests of morality?”
“What did I understand you to say?”
“Why, you’re most too many for me, you know. When you get in with your left I hunt grass every time. Every time you draw, you fill; but I don’t seem to have any luck. Lets have a new deal.”
“How? Begin again?”
“That’s it.”
“Very well. Was he a good man, and—”
“There—I see that; don’t put up another chip till I look at my hand. A good man, says you? Pard, it ain’t no name for it. He was the best man that ever—pard, you would have doted on that man. He could lam any galoot of his inches in America. It was him that put down the riot last election before it got a start; and everybody said he was the only man that could have done it. He waltzed in with a spanner in one hand and a trumpet55 in the other, and sent fourteen men home on a shutter56 in less than three minutes. He had that riot all broke up and prevented nice before anybody ever got a chance to strike a blow. He was always for peace, and he would have peace—he could not stand disturbances57. Pard, he was a great loss to this town. It would please the boys if you could chip in something like that and do him justice. Here once when the Micks got to throwing stones through the Methodis’ Sunday school windows, Buck Fanshaw, all of his own notion, shut up his saloon and took a couple of six-shooters and mounted guard over the Sunday school. Says he, ‘No Irish need apply!’ And they didn’t. He was the bulliest man in the mountains, pard! He could run faster, jump higher, hit harder, and hold more tangle-foot whisky without spilling it than any man in seventeen counties. Put that in, pard—it’ll please the boys more than anything you could say. And you can say, pard, that he never shook his mother.”
“Never shook his mother?”
“That’s it—any of the boys will tell you so.”
“Well, but why should he shake her?”
“That’s what I say—but some people does.”
“Not people of any repute?”
“Well, some that averages pretty so-so.”
“In my opinion the man that would offer personal violence to his own mother, ought to—”
“Cheese it, pard; you’ve banked your ball clean outside the string. What I was a drivin’ at, was, that he never throwed off on his mother—don’t you see? No indeedy. He give her a house to live in, and town lots, and plenty of money; and he looked after her and took care of her all the time; and when she was down with the small-pox I’m d—-d if he didn’t set up nights and nuss her himself! Beg your pardon for saying it, but it hopped58 out too quick for yours truly.
“You’ve treated me like a gentleman, pard, and I ain’t the man to hurt your feelings intentional59. I think you’re white. I think you’re a square man, pard. I like you, and I’ll lick any man that don’t. I’ll lick him till he can’t tell himself from a last year’s corpse60! Put it there!” [Another fraternal hand-shake—and exit.]
The obsequies were all that “the boys” could desire. Such a marvel61 of funeral pomp had never been seen in Virginia. The plumed62 hearse, the dirge-breathing brass63 bands, the closed marts of business, the flags drooping64 at half mast, the long, plodding65 procession of uniformed secret societies, military battalions66 and fire companies, draped engines, carriages of officials, and citizens in vehicles and on foot, attracted multitudes of spectators to the sidewalks, roofs and windows; and for years afterward67, the degree of grandeur68 attained69 by any civic70 display in Virginia was determined71 by comparison with Buck Fanshaw’s funeral.
Scotty Briggs, as a pall-bearer and a mourner, occupied a prominent place at the funeral, and when the sermon was finished and the last sentence of the prayer for the dead man’s soul ascended72, he responded, in a low voice, but with feelings:
“AMEN. No Irish need apply.”
As the bulk of the response was without apparent relevancy, it was probably nothing more than a humble73 tribute to the memory of the friend that was gone; for, as Scotty had once said, it was “his word.”
Scotty Briggs, in after days, achieved the distinction of becoming the only convert to religion that was ever gathered from the Virginia roughs; and it transpired74 that the man who had it in him to espouse75 the quarrel of the weak out of inborn76 nobility of spirit was no mean timber whereof to construct a Christian77. The making him one did not warp78 his generosity79 or diminish his courage; on the contrary it gave intelligent direction to the one and a broader field to the other.
If his Sunday-school class progressed faster than the other classes, was it matter for wonder? I think not. He talked to his pioneer small-fry in a language they understood! It was my large privilege, a month before he died, to hear him tell the beautiful story of Joseph and his brethren to his class “without looking at the book.” I leave it to the reader to fancy what it was like, as it fell, riddled80 with slang, from the lips of that grave, earnest teacher, and was listened to by his little learners with a consuming interest that showed that they were as unconscious as he was that any violence was being done to the sacred proprieties81!
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1
eclat
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| n.显赫之成功，荣誉 | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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benefactor
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| n. 恩人，行善的人，捐助人 | |
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buck
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| n.雄鹿，雄兔；v.马离地跳跃 | |
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beset
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| v.镶嵌；困扰，包围 | |
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sumptuous
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| adj.豪华的，奢侈的，华丽的 | |
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proprietor
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| n.所有人；业主；经营者 | |
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lamentation
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| n.悲叹，哀悼 | |
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delirium
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| n. 神智昏迷,说胡话;极度兴奋 | |
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arsenic
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| n.砒霜，砷；adj.砷的 | |
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prodigious
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| adj.惊人的，奇妙的；异常的；巨大的；庞大的 | |
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muster
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| v.集合，收集，鼓起，激起；n.集合，检阅，集合人员，点名册 | |
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infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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varied
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| adj.多样的，多变化的 | |
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copious
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| adj.丰富的，大量的 | |
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brotherhood
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| n.兄弟般的关系，手中情谊 | |
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flannel
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| n.法兰绒；法兰绒衣服 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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adventurous
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| adj.爱冒险的；惊心动魄的，惊险的，刺激的 | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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woe
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| n.悲哀，苦痛，不幸，困难；int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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dismal
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| adj.阴沉的，凄凉的，令人忧郁的，差劲的 | |
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lugubrious
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| adj.悲哀的，忧郁的 | |
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adviser
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| n.劝告者，顾问 | |
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sanctuary
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| n.圣所，圣堂，寺庙；禁猎区，保护区 | |
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premises
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| n.建筑物，房屋 | |
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bulge
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| n.突出，膨胀，激增；vt.突出，膨胀 | |
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obstructing
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| 阻塞( obstruct的现在分词 )； 堵塞； 阻碍； 阻止 | |
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metaphor
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| n.隐喻，暗喻 | |
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perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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brawny
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| adj.强壮的 | |
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fervent
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| adj.热的，热烈的，热情的 | |
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tangled
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| adj. 纠缠的，紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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scooped
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| v.抢先报道( scoop的过去式和过去分词 )；（敏捷地）抱起；抢先获得；用铲[勺]等挖（洞等） | |
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rustler
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| n.[美口]偷牛贼 | |
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bully
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| n.恃强欺弱者，小流氓；vt.威胁，欺侮 | |
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continental
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| adj.大陆的，大陆性的，欧洲大陆的 | |
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palaver
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| adj.壮丽堂皇的；n.废话，空话 | |
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cramp
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| n.痉挛；[pl.](腹)绞痛；vt.限制，束缚 | |
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discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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coffin
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| n.棺材，灵柩 | |
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plumes
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| 羽毛( plume的名词复数 )； 羽毛饰； 羽毛状物； 升上空中的羽状物 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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clam
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| n.蛤，蛤肉 | |
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browsing
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| v.吃草( browse的现在分词 )；随意翻阅；（在商店里）随便看看；（在计算机上）浏览信息 | |
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prance
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| v.（马）腾跃，(人)神气活现地走 | |
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strictly
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| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
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dependence
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| n.依靠，依赖；信任，信赖；隶属 | |
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stumped
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| 僵直地行走，跺步行走( stump的过去式和过去分词 )； 把（某人）难住； 使为难； （选举前）在某一地区作政治性巡回演说 | |
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51
sequestered
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| adj.扣押的；隐退的；幽静的；偏僻的v.使隔绝，使隔离( sequester的过去式和过去分词 )；扣押 | |
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secular
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| n.牧师，凡人；adj.世俗的，现世的，不朽的 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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alley
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| n.小巷，胡同；小径，小路 | |
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trumpet
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| n.喇叭，喇叭声；v.吹喇叭，吹嘘 | |
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shutter
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| n.百叶窗；(照相机)快门；关闭装置 | |
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disturbances
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| n.骚乱( disturbance的名词复数 )；打扰；困扰；障碍 | |
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hopped
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| 跳上[下]( hop的过去式和过去分词 )； 单足蹦跳； 齐足（或双足）跳行； 摘葎草花 | |
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intentional
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| adj.故意的，有意（识）的 | |
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corpse
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| n.尸体，死尸 | |
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marvel
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| vi.(at)惊叹vt.感到惊异；n.令人惊异的事 | |
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plumed
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| 饰有羽毛的 | |
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brass
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| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
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drooping
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| adj. 下垂的，无力的 动词droop的现在分词 | |
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65
plodding
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| a.proceeding in a slow or dull way | |
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66
battalions
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| n.（陆军的）一营（大约有一千兵士）( battalion的名词复数 )；协同作战的部队；军队；（组织在一起工作的）队伍 | |
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67
afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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68
grandeur
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| n.伟大，崇高，宏伟，庄严，豪华 | |
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69
attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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70
civic
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| adj.城市的，都市的，市民的，公民的 | |
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71
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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72
ascended
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| v.上升，攀登( ascend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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73
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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74
transpired
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| （事实，秘密等）被人知道( transpire的过去式和过去分词 )； 泄露； 显露； 发生 | |
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75
espouse
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| v.支持，赞成，嫁娶 | |
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76
inborn
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| adj.天生的，生来的，先天的 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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78
warp
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| vt.弄歪，使翘曲，使不正常，歪曲，使有偏见 | |
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79
generosity
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| n.大度，慷慨，慷慨的行为 | |
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80
riddled
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| adj.布满的；充斥的；泛滥的v.解谜，出谜题(riddle的过去分词形式) | |
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81
proprieties
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| n.礼仪，礼节；礼貌( propriety的名词复数 )；规矩；正当；合适 | |
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