"She was one of God's saints, if ever there was one," the man answered, half reluctantly. "Everybody wondered that she took up with me, but maybe it was because she saw I needed her more than anybody else did. She might have made a different man of me if she'd lived; at least, I've always thought so. I never drank so much when she was alive but what I kept a comfortable home over her head. But when she was gone, it didn't appear to me there was any thing left to live for. I lacked comfort sorely, and I don't say but what I've sought for it in by-paths,—by and forbidden paths, as she used to say."
"I wish I could ha' seen her," said Jack.
"She was a dreadful motherly creetur, and was always hangin' over you. Cold nights I've known her get up half-a-dozen times, often, to see if the clothes was all up over your shoulders; and sometimes I've seen her stand there looking down at you in the biting cold till I thought she'd freeze; but I didn't dare to say any thing, for her lips were[Pg 7] movin', and I knew she was prayin' for you. She was a prayin' woman, your mother was. I used to think her prayers would save both of us."
"I can't make out how she looked," Jack persisted. He was so anxious to hear something about this dead mother who had loved him so. Ever since she died, he had been knocked round from pillar to post, as they say, with his father. Sam Ramsdale was good help, as all the farmers knew, when he was sober; but he was not reliable, and then he had the disadvantage of always being incumbered with the boy, whom he took with him everywhere,—an unkempt, undisciplined little fellow whom no one liked. Now, as his father talked, it seemed to him so strange a thing to think that some one used to stand beside his bed in cold winter nights and pray for him, that he could hardly believe it; and he said again, out of his desolate3 longing,—
"I wish I could ha' seen how she looked."
"I don't suppose folks would ha' said she was much to look at." His father spoke4, in a musing5 sort of way. "She was a little pale slip of a[Pg 8] woman, with soft yellow hair droopin' about her white face, and eyes as blue as them blue flowers you picked up along the road. But there, I can't talk about her, and I ain't a goin' to, what's more; and don't you ever ask me again!"
From that time Jack never dared to ask any more questions about his mother, but all through his troublesome, turbulent boyhood he remembered the meagre outlines of the story which had been told him. No matter how bad he had been through the day, the nights were few when he failed to think how once a pale slip of a woman, with soft yellow hair around her white face, and eyes blue as the blue gentians, had bent6 above his slumbers7 and said prayers for him.
When he was ten years old his father died in the poor-house. Drink had enfeebled his constitution; a sudden cold did the rest. There were a few weeks of terrible suffering, and then the end came. Jack was with him to the last. There was nowhere else for him to be, and the father liked to have him in his sight. One day, just before the end, when they were all alone, the man called the boy to his bedside.
[Pg 9]
"I can't tell you to follow my example, Jack; that's the shame of it. I've got to hold myself up as a warnin', and not as an example. Just you steer8 as clear o' my ways as you can; but remember that your mother was a prayin' woman. I s'pose nobody'd believe it, Jack; but since I've been lyin' here I've kinder felt nearer to her than I ever did before since she died. Seems as if I could a'most hear her prayin' for me; and I think, by times, that the God she lived so close to won't say no. It's the 'leventh hour, Jack, the 'leventh hour, I know that as well as anybody; but she used to sing a hymn9 about while the lamp holds out to burn. When I get there I shall get rid of this awful thirst for drink. It's been an awful thirst; no hunger that I know of can match it; but I shall get rid of that when this old body goes to pieces. And what does a Saviour10 mean, if it ain't that He'll save us from our sins if we ask Him?"
As he said these last words he seemed sinking into a sort of stupor11, but he started out of it to say once more,—
[Pg 10]
"Never follow my example, Jack, boy. Remember your mother was a prayin' woman."
Those were the last connected words any one ever heard him speak. After that the night came on,—the double night of darkness and of death. Once or twice the woman who acted as nurse, bending over him, heard him mutter, "The 'leventh hour, Jack!" and afterwards she wondered whether it was a presentiment12, for it was just at eleven o'clock that he died.
Jack had been sent to bed a little before, and when he got up in the morning, he knew that he was all alone in the world.
After the funeral Deacon Small took him home. He wouldn't be of much use for two or three years to come, the deacon said. Maybe he could drive up the cows, and ride the horse to plough, and scare the crows away from the corn, but he couldn't earn his salt for a number o' years to come. However, somebody must take him, and he guessed he would. It would be a good spell before the "creetur" would come of age, and the last part of the time he might be smart enough to pay off old scores.
[Pg 11]
But surely Jack Ramsdale must have eaten more salt than ever boy of ten ate before if he did not work enough for it, for it was Jack here, and Jack there, all day long. Jack did everybody's errands; Jack drew Mrs. Small's baby-grandchild in its little covered wagon13; Jack scoured14 the knives; Jack brought the wood; Jack picked berries; Jack weeded flower-beds. From being an idle little chap, in everybody's way, as he had been in his father's time, he was pressed right into hard service, for more hours in the day than any man worked about the place. Now work is good for boys, but all work and no play—worse yet, all work and no love—is not good for any one. Jack grew bitter; and where he dared to be cruel, he was cruel; where he dared to be insolent15, he was insolent. Not toward Deacon Small, however, were these qualities displayed. The deacon was a hard master, and the boy feared, and hated, and obeyed him. But as the years went on, five of them, he grew to be generally considered a bad boy. At fifteen he was strong of his age, a man, almost, in size.
[Pg 12]
His schooling16 had been confined to the short winter terms, and he had always been the terror of every successive schoolmaster.
When he was fifteen, a new teacher came,—a handsome, graceful17 young man, just out of college. He was slight rather than stout18, well-dressed, well-mannered, fit, you would have said, for a lady's drawing-room, rather than the country schoolhouse in winter, with its big boys, tough customers, many of them, and Jack Ramsdale the toughest customer of all. After Mr. Garrison19 had passed his examination, one of the committee, impressed by what he thought a certain-fine-gentleman air in the young man, warned him of the rough times in store for him, and especially of the rough strength and insubordination of Jack Ramsdale. Ralph Garrison smiled a calm smile, but uttered no boasts.
He had been a week in the school before he had any especial trouble. Jack was taking his measure. The truth was, the boy had a certain amount of taste, and Garrison's gentlemanliness impressed him more than he would have cared to own. It is[Pg 13] possible that he might have gone on, quietly and obediently, but that now his bad name began to weigh him down. The boys who had looked up to him as a leader in evil grew impatient of his quiet submission21 to rules. "Got your match, Jack?" said one. "Goin' to own beat without giving it a try?" said another. And Jack began to think that the evil laurels22 he had won, as the bravo and bully23 of the school, would fall withered24 from his brow if he didn't make some effort to fasten them.
So one morning, midway between recess25 and the close of school, he took out an apple and began paring it with a jack-knife and eating it. For a moment Mr. Garrison looked at him; then he remarked, with ominous26 quietness, in a tone lower and more gentle than usual,—
"Jack, this is not the place or time for eating."
"My place and time to eat are when I am hungry," Jack answered, with cool insolence27, cutting off a mouthful, and carrying it deliberately28 to his mouth.
"You will put up that apple instantly, if you please."
[Pg 14]
Still the teacher spoke very gently, and turned a little pale. The persuasive29 words and the slight paleness misled Jack. He thought his victory was to be so easily won, there would not even be any glory in it. He smiled and ate, quite at his ease.
"You will come here whether you please or not," was the next sentence from the teacher's desk. Jack cut off another mouthful and sat still.
Then, he never knew how it was, but suddenly, in the twinkling of an eye, he felt himself pulled from his seat out into the middle of the floor while knife and apple flew from his hand. He kicked, he struggled, he tried to strike; but an iron grasp held his wrists. The strong muscles of the stroke-oar at Harvard did good service. The handsome face was pale, but the lips were set like steel, and the cool eyes never wavered as they fixed30 and held those of the young bully. Then suddenly he whipped from his pocket a ball of strong fish-line and bound the struggling wrists tightly, and, pushing a chair toward his captive, said, coolly,—
"I want nothing more of you till after school. You can sit or stand, as you please. Now I will hear the first class in arithmetic."
[Pg 15]
When all the rest had gone, the teacher turned to Jack Ramsdale.
"I took you a little by surprise," he said. "Perhaps you are not yet satisfied that I am stronger than you."
"Yes, I'm satisfied," Jack answered. "I ain't so mean but what I'm willing to own beat when it's done fair and square."
"The forces of law and order are what rule the world. I think if you fight against them, you'll always be likely to find yourself on the losing side."
A great bitter wave of defiance33 swelled34 up in Jack's heart; not against Mr. Garrison as an individual, but against such as he,—handsome, graceful, cultured; against his own hard lot; against a prosperous world; against, it almost seemed, God, Himself.
"What do you know about it?" he said [Pg 16]sullenly. "You never had to fight. It was all on your side. God did it. He made you handsome and strong, and had you go to school and college, and grow up a gentleman. And he made me"—how the face darkened here—"what you see. He took my mother, who did love me and pray for me, away from me when I wasn't more than three years old. He gave me to a father who drank hard and taught me nothing good. And then he took even him from me, and handed me over to Deacon Small; and I tell you, teacher, you don't know what a tough time is till you've summered and wintered with Deacon Small. I've got a bad name, and who wonders? and I feel like living up to it. I hadn't any thing against you, specially20; but if I'd given in peaceably to all your rules, the boys would have said I had grown chicken-hearted, and a little name for pluck is all the name I have got."
"It does seem as if fate had been hard on you. But do you know what I think God has been doing[Pg 17] for you, in giving you all these hard knocks; for things don't happen; God never lets go the reins36."
The boy looked the question he did not speak, and Mr. Garrison went on.
"I think He has been making you strong, just as rowing against wind and tide made my wrists strong, until now you could fight all your enemies if you would.
"The thing we are put here for," he continued, "is to do our best; and if we are doing that, in God's sight, there is nothing that can prevail against us; not fate, or foes37, or poverty, or any other creature. There is nothing in all the universe that is strong enough to stand against a soul that is bound to go up and not down. You may go home, now."
It was one of Mr. Garrison's merits that he knew when to stop. Jack Ramsdale went home with that last sentence ringing in his ears,—
"There is nothing in all the universe that is strong enough to stand against a soul that is bound to go up and not down."
[Pg 18]
The words went with him all the rest of the day. They lay down with him at night, and he looked out of his window and fixed his eyes on a bright, far-off star, and thought of them.
What if he should turn all the strength that was in him to going up and not down? If he did right, who could make him afraid? If he served willingly, he need fear no master. It was very late, and the star, obedient to the law which rules the worlds, had marched far on, out of his sight, before he went to sleep. He had made a resolve. In the strength of that resolve he awoke to the new day.
"I will not go down," he said to himself; "I will go up and on!"
He was not all at once transformed from sinner to saint. Such sudden changes do not belong to this slow world. But the purpose and aim of his life was changed. Never again did he lose sight of the shining heights he meant to climb. If the mother in the heavenly home could look down on the world below, she knew that not in vain had she been "a praying woman." To Mr. Garrison the[Pg 19] boy's devotion was something wonderful,—humble, loyal, faithful, and never ceasing. From being the teacher's terror, Jack had become the teacher's friend.
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1
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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2
homely
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| adj.家常的，简朴的；不漂亮的 | |
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3
desolate
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| adj.荒凉的，荒芜的；孤独的，凄凉的；v.使荒芜，使孤寂 | |
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4
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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5
musing
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| n. 沉思，冥想 adj. 沉思的, 冥想的 动词muse的现在分词形式 | |
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6
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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7
slumbers
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| 睡眠，安眠( slumber的名词复数 ) | |
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8
steer
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| vt.驾驶，为…操舵；引导；vi.驾驶 | |
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9
hymn
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| n.赞美诗，圣歌，颂歌 | |
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10
saviour
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| n.拯救者，救星 | |
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11
stupor
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| v.昏迷；不省人事 | |
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12
presentiment
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| n.预感，预觉 | |
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13
wagon
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| n.四轮马车，手推车，面包车；无盖运货列车 | |
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14
scoured
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| 走遍（某地）搜寻（人或物）( scour的过去式和过去分词 )； （用力）刷； 擦净； 擦亮 | |
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15
insolent
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| adj.傲慢的，无理的 | |
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16
schooling
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| n.教育；正规学校教育 | |
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17
graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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19
garrison
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| n.卫戍部队；驻地，卫戍区；vt.派(兵)驻防 | |
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20
specially
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| adv.特定地；特殊地；明确地 | |
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21
submission
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| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
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22
laurels
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| n.桂冠，荣誉 | |
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23
bully
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| n.恃强欺弱者，小流氓；vt.威胁，欺侮 | |
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24
withered
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| adj. 枯萎的，干瘪的，（人身体的部分器官）因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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25
recess
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| n.短期休息，壁凹（墙上装架子，柜子等凹处） | |
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26
ominous
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| adj.不祥的，不吉的，预兆的，预示的 | |
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27
insolence
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| n.傲慢；无礼；厚颜；傲慢的态度 | |
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28
deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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29
persuasive
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| adj.有说服力的，能说得使人相信的 | |
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30
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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31
hush
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| int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静 | |
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32
untying
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| untie的现在分词 | |
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33
defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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34
swelled
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| 增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 )； 肿胀； （使）凸出； 充满（激情） | |
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35
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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36
reins
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| 感情，激情； 缰( rein的名词复数 )； 控制手段； 掌管； （成人带着幼儿走路以防其走失时用的）保护带 | |
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37
foes
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| 敌人，仇敌( foe的名词复数 ) | |
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