“Well—Amory Blaine!”
Amory looked down into the street below. A low racing5 car had drawn6 to a stop and a familiar cheerful face protruded7 from the driver's seat.
“Come on down, goopher!” cried Alec.
Amory called a greeting and descending8 a flight of wooden steps approached the car. He and Alec had been meeting intermittently9, but the barrier of Rosalind lay always between them. He was sorry for this; he hated to lose Alec.
“Mr. Blaine, this is Miss Waterson, Miss Wayne, and Mr. Tully.”
“How d'y do?”
“Amory,” said Alec exuberantly10, “if you'll jump in we'll take you to some secluded11 nook and give you a wee jolt12 of Bourbon.”
Amory considered.
“That's an idea.”
“Step in—move over, Jill, and Amory will smile very handsomely at you.”
“Hello, Doug Fairbanks,” she said flippantly. “Walking for exercise or hunting for company?”
“I was counting the waves,” replied Amory gravely. “I'm going in for statistics.”
“Don't kid me, Doug.”
When they reached an unfrequented side street Alec stopped the car among deep shadows.
“What you doing down here these cold days, Amory?” he demanded, as he produced a quart of Bourbon from under the fur rug.
Amory avoided the question. Indeed, he had had no definite reason for coming to the coast.
“Do I? When we slept in the pavilions up in Asbury Park—”
“Lord, Alec! It's hard to think that Jesse and Dick and Kerry are all three dead.”
Alec shivered.
Jill seemed to agree.
“Doug here is sorta gloomy anyways,” she commented. “Tell him to drink deep—it's good and scarce these days.”
“What I really want to ask you, Amory, is where you are—”
“Why, New York, I suppose—”
“I mean to-night, because if you haven't got a room yet you'd better help me out.”
“Glad to.”
“You see, Tully and I have two rooms with bath between at the Ranier, and he's got to go back to New York. I don't want to have to move. Question is, will you occupy one of the rooms?”
Amory was willing, if he could get in right away.
“You'll find the key in the office; the rooms are in my name.”
Declining further locomotion16 or further stimulation17, Amory left the car and sauntered back along the board walk to the hotel.
He was in an eddy18 again, a deep, lethargic19 gulf20, without desire to work or write, love or dissipate. For the first time in his life he rather longed for death to roll over his generation, obliterating21 their petty fevers and struggles and exultations. His youth seemed never so vanished as now in the contrast between the utter loneliness of this visit and that riotous22, joyful23 party of four years before. Things that had been the merest commonplaces of his life then, deep sleep, the sense of beauty around him, all desire, had flown away and the gaps they left were filled only with the great listlessness of his disillusion24.
“To hold a man a woman has to appeal to the worst in him.” This sentence was the thesis of most of his bad nights, of which he felt this was to be one. His mind had already started to play variations on the subject. Tireless passion, fierce jealousy25, longing26 to possess and crush—these alone were left of all his love for Rosalind; these remained to him as payment for the loss of his youth—bitter calomel under the thin sugar of love's exaltation.
In his room he undressed and wrapping himself in blankets to keep out the chill October air drowsed in an armchair by the open window.
He remembered a poem he had read months before:
I waste my years sailing along the sea—”
Yet he had no sense of waste, no sense of the present hope that waste implied. He felt that life had rejected him.
“Rosalind! Rosalind!” He poured the words softly into the half-darkness until she seemed to permeate28 the room; the wet salt breeze filled his hair with moisture, the rim29 of a moon seared the sky and made the curtains dim and ghostly. He fell asleep.
When he awoke it was very late and quiet. The blanket had slipped partly off his shoulders and he touched his skin to find it damp and cold.
Then he became aware of a tense whispering not ten feet away.
“Don't make a sound!” It was Alec's voice. “Jill—do you hear me?”
“Yes—” breathed very low, very frightened. They were in the bathroom.
Then his ears caught a louder sound from somewhere along the corridor outside. It was a mumbling31 of men's voices and a repeated muffled32 rapping. Amory threw off the blankets and moved close to the bathroom door.
“My God!” came the girl's voice again. “You'll have to let them in.”
“Sh!”
Suddenly a steady, insistent33 knocking began at Amory's hall door and simultaneously34 out of the bathroom came Alec, followed by the vermilion-lipped girl. They were both clad in pajamas35.
“Amory!” an anxious whisper.
“What's the trouble?”
“It's house detectives. My God, Amory—they're just looking for a test-case—”
“Well, better let them in.”
“You don't understand. They can get me under the Mann Act.”
Amory tried to plan quickly.
“You make a racket and let them in your room,” he suggested anxiously, “and I'll get her out by this door.”
“They're here too, though. They'll watch this door.”
“Can't you give a wrong name?”
“Say you're married.”
“Jill says one of the house detectives knows her.”
The girl had stolen to the bed and tumbled upon it; lay there listening wretchedly to the knocking which had grown gradually to a pounding. Then came a man's voice, angry and imperative40:
“Open up or we'll break the door in!”
In the silence when this voice ceased Amory realized that there were other things in the room besides people... over and around the figure crouched41 on the bed there hung an aura, gossamer42 as a moonbeam, tainted43 as stale, weak wine, yet a horror, diffusively brooding already over the three of them... and over by the window among the stirring curtains stood something else, featureless and indistinguishable, yet strangely familiar.... Simultaneously two great cases presented themselves side by side to Amory; all that took place in his mind, then, occupied in actual time less than ten seconds.
The first fact that flashed radiantly on his comprehension was the great impersonality45 of sacrifice—he perceived that what we call love and hate, reward and punishment, had no more to do with it than the date of the month. He quickly recapitulated46 the story of a sacrifice he had heard of in college: a man had cheated in an examination; his roommate in a gust47 of sentiment had taken the entire blame—due to the shame of it the innocent one's entire future seemed shrouded48 in regret and failure, capped by the ingratitude49 of the real culprit. He had finally taken his own life—years afterward50 the facts had come out. At the time the story had both puzzled and worried Amory. Now he realized the truth; that sacrifice was no purchase of freedom. It was like a great elective office, it was like an inheritance of power—to certain people at certain times an essential luxury, carrying with it not a guarantee but a responsibility, not a security but an infinite risk. Its very momentum51 might drag him down to ruin—the passing of the emotional wave that made it possible might leave the one who made it high and dry forever on an island of despair.
... Amory knew that afterward Alec would secretly hate him for having done so much for him....
... All this was flung before Amory like an opened scroll52, while ulterior to him and speculating upon him were those two breathless, listening forces: the gossamer aura that hung over and about the girl and that familiar thing by the window.
Sacrifice by its very nature was arrogant53 and impersonal44; sacrifice should be eternally supercilious54.
Weep not for me but for thy children.
That—thought Amory—would be somehow the way God would talk to me.
Amory felt a sudden surge of joy and then like a face in a motion-picture the aura over the bed faded out; the dynamic shadow by the window, that was as near as he could name it, remained for the fraction of a moment and then the breeze seemed to lift it swiftly out of the room. He clinched55 his hands in quick ecstatic excitement... the ten seconds were up....
“Do what I say, Alec—do what I say. Do you understand?”
“You have a family,” continued Amory slowly. “You have a family and it's important that you should get out of this. Do you hear me?” He repeated clearly what he had said. “Do you hear me?”
“Alec, you're going to lie down here. If any one comes in you act drunk. You do what I say—if you don't I'll probably kill you.”
There was another moment while they stared at each other. Then Amory went briskly to the bureau and, taking his pocket-book, beckoned59 peremptorily60 to the girl. He heard one word from Alec that sounded like “penitentiary61,” then he and Jill were in the bathroom with the door bolted behind them.
“You're here with me,” he said sternly. “You've been with me all evening.”
She nodded, gave a little half cry.
In a second he had the door of the other room open and three men entered. There was an immediate62 flood of electric light and he stood there blinking.
“You've been playing a little too dangerous a game, young man!”
Amory laughed.
“Well?”
The leader of the trio nodded authoritatively63 at a burly man in a check suit.
“All right, Olson.”
“I got you, Mr. O'May,” said Olson, nodding. The other two took a curious glance at their quarry64 and then withdrew, closing the door angrily behind them.
The burly man regarded Amory contemptuously.
“Didn't you ever hear of the Mann Act? Coming down here with her,” he indicated the girl with his thumb, “with a New York license on your car—to a hotel like this.” He shook his head implying that he had struggled over Amory but now gave him up.
“Well,” said Amory rather impatiently, “what do you want us to do?”
“Get dressed, quick—and tell your friend not to make such a racket.” Jill was sobbing65 noisily on the bed, but at these words she subsided66 sulkily and, gathering67 up her clothes, retired68 to the bathroom. As Amory slipped into Alec's B. V. D.'s he found that his attitude toward the situation was agreeably humorous. The aggrieved69 virtue70 of the burly man made him want to laugh.
“Anybody else here?” demanded Olson, trying to look keen and ferret-like.
“Fellow who had the rooms,” said Amory carelessly. “He's drunk as an owl36, though. Been in there asleep since six o'clock.”
“I'll take a look at him presently.”
“How did you find out?” asked Amory curiously.
“Night clerk saw you go up-stairs with this woman.”
Amory nodded; Jill reappeared from the bathroom, completely if rather untidily arrayed.
“Now then,” began Olson, producing a note-book, “I want your real names—no damn John Smith or Mary Brown.”
“Wait a minute,” said Amory quietly. “Just drop that big-bully stuff. We merely got caught, that's all.”
Olson glared at him.
“Name?” he snapped.
Amory gave his name and New York address.
“And the lady?”
“Miss Jill—”
“Say,” cried Olson indignantly, “just ease up on the nursery rhymes. What's your name? Sarah Murphy? Minnie Jackson?”
“Oh, my God!” cried the girl cupping her tear-stained face in her hands. “I don't want my mother to know. I don't want my mother to know.”
“Come on now!”
“Shut up!” cried Amory at Olson.
An instant's pause.
Olson snapped his note-book shut and looked at them very ponderously72.
“By rights the hotel could turn the evidence over to the police and you'd go to penitentiary, you would, for bringin' a girl from one State to 'nother f'r immoral73 purp'ses—” He paused to let the majesty74 of his words sink in. “But—the hotel is going to let you off.”
“It doesn't want to get in the papers,” cried Jill fiercely. “Let us off! Huh!”
A great lightness surrounded Amory. He realized that he was safe and only then did he appreciate the full enormity of what he might have incurred75.
“However,” continued Olson, “there's a protective association among the hotels. There's been too much of this stuff, and we got a 'rangement with the newspapers so that you get a little free publicity76. Not the name of the hotel, but just a line sayin' that you had a little trouble in 'lantic City. See?”
“I see.”
“You're gettin' off light—damn light—but—”
“Come on,” said Amory briskly. “Let's get out of here. We don't need a valedictory77.”
Olson walked through the bathroom and took a cursory78 glance at Alec's still form. Then he extinguished the lights and motioned them to follow him. As they walked into the elevator Amory considered a piece of bravado—yielded finally. He reached out and tapped Olson on the arm.
“Would you mind taking off your hat? There's a lady in the elevator.”
Olson's hat came off slowly. There was a rather embarrassing two minutes under the lights of the lobby while the night clerk and a few belated guests stared at them curiously; the loudly dressed girl with bent79 head, the handsome young man with his chin several points aloft; the inference was quite obvious. Then the chill outdoors—where the salt air was fresher and keener still with the first hints of morning.
“You can get one of those taxis and beat it,” said Olson, pointing to the blurred80 outline of two machines whose drivers were presumably asleep inside.
“Good-by,” said Olson. He reached in his pocket suggestively, but Amory snorted, and, taking the girl's arm, turned away.
“Where did you tell the driver to go?” she asked as they whirled along the dim street.
“The station.”
“If that guy writes my mother—”
“He won't. Nobody'll ever know about this—except our friends and enemies.”
Dawn was breaking over the sea.
“It's getting blue,” she said.
“It does very well,” agreed Amory critically, and then as an after-thought: “It's almost breakfast-time—do you want something to eat?”
“Food—” she said with a cheerful laugh. “Food is what queered the party. We ordered a big supper to be sent up to the room about two o'clock. Alec didn't give the waiter a tip, so I guess the little bastard81 snitched.”
Jill's low spirits seemed to have gone faster than the scattering82 night. “Let me tell you,” she said emphatically, “when you want to stage that sorta party stay away from liquor, and when you want to get tight stay away from bedrooms.”
“I'll remember.”
He tapped suddenly at the glass and they drew up at the door of an all-night restaurant.
“Is Alec a great friend of yours?” asked Jill as they perched themselves on high stools inside, and set their elbows on the dingy83 counter.
“He used to be. He probably won't want to be any more—and never understand why.”
“It was sorta crazy you takin' all that blame. Is he pretty important? Kinda more important than you are?”
Amory laughed.
Two days later back in New York Amory found in a newspaper what he had been searching for—a dozen lines which announced to whom it might concern that Mr. Amory Blaine, who “gave his address” as, etc., had been requested to leave his hotel in Atlantic City because of entertaining in his room a lady not his wife.
Then he started, and his fingers trembled, for directly above was a longer paragraph of which the first words were:
“Mr. and Mrs. Leland R. Connage are announcing the engagement of their daughter, Rosalind, to Mr. J. Dawson Ryder, of Hartford, Connecticut—”
He dropped the paper and lay down on his bed with a frightened, sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach. She was gone, definitely, finally gone. Until now he had half unconsciously cherished the hope deep in his heart that some day she would need him and send for him, cry that it had been a mistake, that her heart ached only for the pain she had caused him. Never again could he find even the sombre luxury of wanting her—not this Rosalind, harder, older—nor any beaten, broken woman that his imagination brought to the door of his forties—Amory had wanted her youth, the fresh radiance of her mind and body, the stuff that she was selling now once and for all. So far as he was concerned, young Rosalind was dead.
A day later came a crisp, terse86 letter from Mr. Barton in Chicago, which informed him that as three more street-car companies had gone into the hands of receivers he could expect for the present no further remittances87. Last of all, on a dazed Sunday night, a telegram told him of Monsignor Darcy's sudden death in Philadelphia five days before.
He knew then what it was that he had perceived among the curtains of the room in Atlantic City.
点击收听单词发音
1 lulled | |
vt.使镇静,使安静(lull的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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2 everlasting | |
adj.永恒的,持久的,无止境的 | |
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3 galleys | |
n.平底大船,战舰( galley的名词复数 );(船上或航空器上的)厨房 | |
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4 bulwarks | |
n.堡垒( bulwark的名词复数 );保障;支柱;舷墙 | |
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5 racing | |
n.竞赛,赛马;adj.竞赛用的,赛马用的 | |
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6 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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7 protruded | |
v.(使某物)伸出,(使某物)突出( protrude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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8 descending | |
n. 下行 adj. 下降的 | |
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9 intermittently | |
adv.间歇地;断断续续 | |
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10 exuberantly | |
adv.兴高采烈地,活跃地,愉快地 | |
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11 secluded | |
adj.与世隔绝的;隐退的;偏僻的v.使隔开,使隐退( seclude的过去式和过去分词) | |
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12 jolt | |
v.(使)摇动,(使)震动,(使)颠簸 | |
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13 gaudy | |
adj.华而不实的;俗丽的 | |
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14 sophomore | |
n.大学二年级生;adj.第二年的 | |
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15 dreary | |
adj.令人沮丧的,沉闷的,单调乏味的 | |
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16 locomotion | |
n.运动,移动 | |
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17 stimulation | |
n.刺激,激励,鼓舞 | |
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18 eddy | |
n.漩涡,涡流 | |
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19 lethargic | |
adj.昏睡的,懒洋洋的 | |
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20 gulf | |
n.海湾;深渊,鸿沟;分歧,隔阂 | |
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21 obliterating | |
v.除去( obliterate的现在分词 );涂去;擦掉;彻底破坏或毁灭 | |
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22 riotous | |
adj.骚乱的;狂欢的 | |
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23 joyful | |
adj.欢乐的,令人欢欣的 | |
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24 disillusion | |
vt.使不再抱幻想,使理想破灭 | |
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25 jealousy | |
n.妒忌,嫉妒,猜忌 | |
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26 longing | |
n.(for)渴望 | |
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27 toiled | |
长时间或辛苦地工作( toil的过去式和过去分词 ); 艰难缓慢地移动,跋涉 | |
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28 permeate | |
v.弥漫,遍布,散布;渗入,渗透 | |
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29 rim | |
n.(圆物的)边,轮缘;边界 | |
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30 rigid | |
adj.严格的,死板的;刚硬的,僵硬的 | |
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31 mumbling | |
含糊地说某事,叽咕,咕哝( mumble的现在分词 ) | |
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32 muffled | |
adj.(声音)被隔的;听不太清的;(衣服)裹严的;蒙住的v.压抑,捂住( muffle的过去式和过去分词 );用厚厚的衣帽包着(自己) | |
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33 insistent | |
adj.迫切的,坚持的 | |
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34 simultaneously | |
adv.同时发生地,同时进行地 | |
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35 pajamas | |
n.睡衣裤 | |
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36 owl | |
n.猫头鹰,枭 | |
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37 miserable | |
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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38 auto | |
n.(=automobile)(口语)汽车 | |
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39 license | |
n.执照,许可证,特许;v.许可,特许 | |
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40 imperative | |
n.命令,需要;规则;祈使语气;adj.强制的;紧急的 | |
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41 crouched | |
v.屈膝,蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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42 gossamer | |
n.薄纱,游丝 | |
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43 tainted | |
adj.腐坏的;污染的;沾污的;感染的v.使变质( taint的过去式和过去分词 );使污染;败坏;被污染,腐坏,败坏 | |
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44 impersonal | |
adj.无个人感情的,与个人无关的,非人称的 | |
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45 impersonality | |
n.无人情味 | |
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46 recapitulated | |
v.总结,扼要重述( recapitulate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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47 gust | |
n.阵风,突然一阵(雨、烟等),(感情的)迸发 | |
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48 shrouded | |
v.隐瞒( shroud的过去式和过去分词 );保密 | |
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49 ingratitude | |
n.忘恩负义 | |
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50 afterward | |
adv.后来;以后 | |
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51 momentum | |
n.动力,冲力,势头;动量 | |
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52 scroll | |
n.卷轴,纸卷;(石刻上的)漩涡 | |
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53 arrogant | |
adj.傲慢的,自大的 | |
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54 supercilious | |
adj.目中无人的,高傲的;adv.高傲地;n.高傲 | |
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55 clinched | |
v.(尤指两人)互相紧紧抱[扭]住( clinch的过去式和过去分词 );解决(争端、交易),达成(协议) | |
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56 tableau | |
n.画面,活人画(舞台上活人扮的静态画面) | |
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57 anguish | |
n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦,烦恼 | |
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58 curiously | |
adv.有求知欲地;好问地;奇特地 | |
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59 beckoned | |
v.(用头或手的动作)示意,召唤( beckon的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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60 peremptorily | |
adv.紧急地,不容分说地,专横地 | |
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61 penitentiary | |
n.感化院;监狱 | |
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62 immediate | |
adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的 | |
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63 authoritatively | |
命令式地,有权威地,可信地 | |
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64 quarry | |
n.采石场;v.采石;费力地找 | |
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65 sobbing | |
<主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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66 subsided | |
v.(土地)下陷(因在地下采矿)( subside的过去式和过去分词 );减弱;下降至较低或正常水平;一下子坐在椅子等上 | |
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67 gathering | |
n.集会,聚会,聚集 | |
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68 retired | |
adj.隐退的,退休的,退役的 | |
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69 aggrieved | |
adj.愤愤不平的,受委屈的;悲痛的;(在合法权利方面)受侵害的v.令委屈,令苦恼,侵害( aggrieve的过去式);令委屈,令苦恼,侵害( aggrieve的过去式和过去分词) | |
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70 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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71 faltered | |
(嗓音)颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 ); 支吾其词; 蹒跚; 摇晃 | |
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72 ponderously | |
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73 immoral | |
adj.不道德的,淫荡的,荒淫的,有伤风化的 | |
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74 majesty | |
n.雄伟,壮丽,庄严,威严;最高权威,王权 | |
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75 incurred | |
[医]招致的,遭受的; incur的过去式 | |
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76 publicity | |
n.众所周知,闻名;宣传,广告 | |
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77 valedictory | |
adj.告别的;n.告别演说 | |
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78 cursory | |
adj.粗略的;草率的;匆促的 | |
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79 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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80 blurred | |
v.(使)变模糊( blur的过去式和过去分词 );(使)难以区分;模模糊糊;迷离 | |
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81 bastard | |
n.坏蛋,混蛋;私生子 | |
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82 scattering | |
n.[物]散射;散乱,分散;在媒介质中的散播adj.散乱的;分散在不同范围的;广泛扩散的;(选票)数量分散的v.散射(scatter的ing形式);散布;驱散 | |
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83 dingy | |
adj.昏暗的,肮脏的 | |
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84 remains | |
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
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85 collapse | |
vi.累倒;昏倒;倒塌;塌陷 | |
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86 terse | |
adj.(说话,文笔)精炼的,简明的 | |
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87 remittances | |
n.汇寄( remittance的名词复数 );汇款,汇款额 | |
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