It might with some justice be urged that, thus far in his life, Mr. Rawn has shown little to distinguish him from his fellow-men; that indeed his career has been commonplace almost to the point of lack of interest to others. There are many of us who have been born in this or that small community, who have lived somewhat humdrum1 lives, have married in a somewhat humdrum way, and who have, in like unspectacular fashion, failed to achieve any distinguished2 success in affairs. Yet, did we restrict ourselves to this point of view, we must fail of our purpose herein, just as Mr. Rawn himself would have failed had he allowed himself no imagination in his view of himself. For the man who is commonplace and who is aware of the fact, the future is apt to have but little hope, nor is his story apt to hold any interest. In the case of Mr. Rawn the reverse of this was true. He did not rate himself as commonplace. Always he pictured himself as central figure in some large scene presently to be staged. His life was much like ours, and ours are for the most part of small concern to others. But John Rawn heard Voices. They spoke3 of himself. He saw a Vision. It was of himself. The trouble with us others is that we bashfully still the voices and timidly wipe the image from our mirrors. Let us pass all these matters with reference to them as small as was Rawn's own.
John Rawn, then, married Laura Johnson, and they lived unhappily ever after. That is to say, she did. As for her lord, he did not notice his wife to any great extent after once they had settled down together, but came to regard her as one of those incidents of life which classify with food, clothing, the need of sleep. He looked upon his wife much as he did upon the weather. Both happened, and both for the most part were to be condemned4. Still, he took no active measures for the abolishment of either.
He was a solemn man in his home, or at least for the most part a silent. Yet at times he became almost cheerful—when the talk fell upon himself; indeed, he would explain to his wife, with much care and elaboration, himself, his character, his virtues5 and his plans. In his household life he kept up the traditions in which he had been reared. He ate all the beefsteak there was on the table when there was but enough for one, which latter often was the case, for his wife had need to be frugal6. At times he would purchase a solitary7 ticket to the theater and go alone. Yet he was generous, and always after his return home he would with fine feeling tell his wife what he had seen. Sometimes he spent a Sunday in the country, but, as he himself had been first to state, he was never selfish about this. He always would tell his wife how green the grass had been, how sweet the songs of the birds, how bright the sky. Most of all he would tell of the song of one small bird which sang continually in his ear, telling him of a success which before long, in some way, was to be their own. The passing years left his wife a trifle thinner, a trifle more gray. He himself continued fresh, stalwart, strong. Sometimes, coming back from the theater or the country, after listening to the voice of this small bird at his ear, he would smite8 with a heavy fist upon the family table and say, "Why, Laura, look at me—look at me!" After which a heavy frown would come upon his face as of one conscious of tardiness9 in the fashion of fate. But he knew that he was a great man.
II
Now, what Laura, his wife, knew is not for us to say. She held her peace. Never a word of complaint, or taunt10, or reproach, or of longing11 came to her lips. Never did she repine at the situation of life which held them for more than a dozen years after they were married—one of perpetual monotony, of narrow, iron-bound restraint. After some incredible, some miraculous12 way of womankind, she managed to make the ends meet, indeed even to overlap13 a trifle at each week-end. She smiled in the morning when he went away, smiled in the evening when he returned, and if meanwhile she did not smile again throughout all the day, at least she did her part. A great soul, this of Laura Rawn; but no greater than that of many another woman who does these things day after day until the time comes for the grave, wherein she lies down at last with equanimity14 and calm. Without unduly15 flattering the vanity, without overfeeding the egotism of her lord and master, at least Laura Rawn was wise enough to see he could not be much changed. Finding herself thus situated16, she accepted her case and spent her time doing what could be done, not wasting it in seeking the impossible. He was her husband, that was all. She knew no better way of life than to accept that fact and make the most of it. Which is tragedy, if you please.
III
After the birth of Grace Rawn, their daughter, which occurred within the first year of their wedded17 life, Laura Rawn had something to interest her for the remainder of their days. Her horizon widened now immeasurably; indeed to the extent of giving her a world of her own wherein she could dwell apart quite comfortably; one in which her husband had no part. Simple and just in her way of thought, she accepted the truth that without married life, without her husband, this new world could not have been her own. Wherefore she credited him, and in her child, somewhat reverenced18 him. She was an old-fashioned wife.
As to the child herself, she grew steadily19 and normally into young girlhood, in time into young womanhood, not given to much display, reserved of judgment20 as well as of speech, ofttimes sullen21 in mood, yet withal a step or so higher than her mother on the ladder of feminine charm. She had a clean, good family rearing, and a good grammar school education. At about the time her father came to be a man of middle age, Grace fell into her place in the clerical machine of the railway office where he worked; for very naturally, being an American girl of small means, she took up shorthand, and was licensed22 to do violence. At home she joined her mother in regard and attention for the master of the house.
IV
Here, then, was simply a good, middle-class American family, offering for some years little to attract the attention of those who dwelt about them. The head of this family, as he attained23 additional solidity of figure, grew even heavier of brow, trod with even more stateliness about his appointed duties. It was a privilege for the other clerks who labored24 near him to see such calm, such dignity. On the street John Rawn asked no pardons if he brushed against his fellow-man. In his business life, in his conduct upon the street-car, at the restaurant table, anywhere, he helped himself as though of right, and regarded the rights or preferences of others not at all. The community cream, the individual butter, he accumulated unto himself unsmilingly, as once he had bananas in his youth. Broad hints, deprecating smiles, annoyed protests, all were lost upon him. At forty-seven years of age his salary was but one hundred and twenty-five dollars a month. That showed only the lack of wisdom of others, not unfitness in himself. Had this been Greece, or Rome, or medi?val England, he would have shown them who was entitled to the throne! Indeed, he would show them that yet. He often told his wife and daughter as much.
Did we not know the genesis of Mr. Rawn, and did we not know full well the divine right of kings, we might call this rather a curious frame of mind for a man who dwelt in a small house with green blinds and a dingy25 back yard, for whose conjoint charms he paid but twenty dollars a month, on whose floors there was much efflorescence of art square, upon whose be-lambrequined mantels showed few works of art beyond a series of bisque shepherdesses and china dogs, on whose parlor26 table reclined a Dying Gaul, and on whose boudoir walls hung an engraving27 of the Rock of Ages. But John Rawn bided28 his time. He went on year after year, grave and dignified29, perhaps one new cross wrinkle coming in his forehead with each Christmas, recorded by one more annual shepherdess upon the family mantel.
V
And yet all this time success was lying in ambush30, as it sometimes does, ready to spring forth31 at the appointed hour. At about this time there occurred changes in the arrangement of the planets, the juxtaposition32 of the spheres, which meant great alteration33 in the affairs of John Rawn, of Kelly Row, who dwelt in a brick house six miles out from the railway office where he had worked for twenty-four years, and where he had risen in so brief a time all the way from forty to one hundred and twenty-five dollars per month.
Let us dwell upon the picture for a moment, deliriously34. Could it be possible that this man in time would own a large part of this railway and of others? Was it possible to predict a day when an army of clerks and others, here or there, would stand ready to jump when Rawn cracked over them a whip whose handle well fitted in his hand? Could the time be predicted, dreamed, imagined, when the president of this road, the great Henry Warfield Standley, would spring to open the door for John Rawn, twenty-four years a clerk, of whose existence he had not long known?
Yet all these things actually did occur. They could occur only in America; but this is America. They could occur only at the summons of a megalomaniac selfishness, an inordinate35 lust36 of power; but here were these, biding37 their time, in the seriously assured mind of an American man; a man after all born of his age and of his country, and representative of that country's typical ambition—the ambition for a material success.
The lust of power—that was it! The promise of power—that was what the small bird had sung in John Rawn's ear! The craving38 and coveting39 of power—that was what quivered in the marrow40 of his bones, that put ponderousness41 in his tread, that shone out of his eyes.
It was this, it was all of these, focused suddenly and unexpectedly by the lens of accident into a burning point of certainty, which marked the air and attitude of John Rawn one evening on his return to his home at the conclusion of his day's work. He almost stumbled as he entered the door, heedless of the threshold. He paced up and down the narrow little hall, trod here and there almost as in a trance, muttering to himself, before at last he stood in front of his wife and spread out his arms—not for her, but for the imaginary multitude whom he addressed in her.
"Laura," said he, "Laura, it's come! I've got the idea. It's going to win. We're going to be rich. I've believed it all along, and I know it now! Laura, look at me—didn't I always tell you so—didn't I know?"
He stood before her, his shoulders back, his chin up, his brow frowning, his lips trembling in simple, devout42 admiration43 of himself. It was not defiance44 that marked his attitude. John Rawn did not defy the lightning. He only wondered why the lightning had so long defied him.
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1
humdrum
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| adj.单调的，乏味的 | |
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2
distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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3
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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4
condemned
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| adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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5
virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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6
frugal
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| adj.节俭的，节约的，少量的，微量的 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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8
smite
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| v.重击；彻底击败；n.打；尝试；一点儿 | |
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9
tardiness
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| n.缓慢；迟延；拖拉 | |
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10
taunt
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| n.辱骂，嘲弄；v.嘲弄 | |
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11
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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12
miraculous
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| adj.像奇迹一样的，不可思议的 | |
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13
overlap
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| v.重叠，与…交叠；n.重叠 | |
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14
equanimity
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| n.沉着，镇定 | |
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15
unduly
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| adv.过度地，不适当地 | |
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16
situated
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| adj.坐落在...的，处于某种境地的 | |
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17
wedded
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| adj.正式结婚的；渴望…的，执著于…的v.嫁，娶，（与…）结婚( wed的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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18
reverenced
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| v.尊敬，崇敬( reverence的过去式和过去分词 )；敬礼 | |
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19
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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20
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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21
sullen
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| adj.愠怒的，闷闷不乐的，(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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22
licensed
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| adj.得到许可的v.许可，颁发执照(license的过去式和过去分词) | |
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23
attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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24
labored
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| adj.吃力的，谨慎的v.努力争取(for)( labor的过去式和过去分词 )；苦干；详细分析；（指引擎）缓慢而困难地运转 | |
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25
dingy
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| adj.昏暗的，肮脏的 | |
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26
parlor
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| n.店铺，营业室；会客室，客厅 | |
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27
engraving
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| n.版画；雕刻（作品）；雕刻艺术；镌版术v.在（硬物）上雕刻（字，画等）( engrave的现在分词 )；将某事物深深印在（记忆或头脑中） | |
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28
bided
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| v.等待，停留( bide的过去式 )；居住；等待；面临 | |
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29
dignified
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| a.可敬的，高贵的 | |
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30
ambush
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| n.埋伏(地点)；伏兵；v.埋伏；伏击 | |
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31
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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32
juxtaposition
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| n.毗邻，并置，并列 | |
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33
alteration
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| n.变更，改变；蚀变 | |
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34
deliriously
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| adv.谵妄（性）；发狂；极度兴奋/亢奋；说胡话 | |
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35
inordinate
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| adj.无节制的；过度的 | |
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36
lust
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| n.性(淫)欲；渴(欲)望；vi.对…有强烈的欲望 | |
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37
biding
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| v.等待，停留( bide的现在分词 )；居住；（过去式用bided）等待；面临 | |
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38
craving
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| n.渴望,热望 | |
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39
coveting
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| v.贪求，觊觎( covet的现在分词 ) | |
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40
marrow
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| n.骨髓；精华；活力 | |
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41
ponderousness
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42
devout
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| adj.虔诚的，虔敬的，衷心的 (n.devoutness) | |
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43
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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44
defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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