VI. THAT OF "DOCTHOR" PATRICK O'DOOLEY.

 In the South Pacific Ocean

In an oiland called Koodoo,

An' the monarch¹ ov thot oiland

Iz King Hulla-bulla-loo.

Oi wuz docthor to thot monarch

Wonct. Me name iz Pat O'Dooley.

Yis, you're roight. Oi come from Oirland,

From the County Ballyhooly.

An' Oi'll tell yez how Oi came to be

A docthor in Koodoo;

May the Divil burn the ind ov me,

If ivery word's not thrue.

Oi wuz sailin' to Ameriky,

Aboard the "Hilly Haully,"

Which wuz drounded in the ocean,

For the toime ov year wuz squally.

An' Oi floated on a raft, sor,

For some twinty days or more,

Till Oi cum to Koodoo Island,

Phwich Oi'd niver seen before.

But the natives ov thot counthry,

Sure, would take a lot ov batin',

For a foine young sthrappin' feller

They think moighty pleasint atin'.

 

An' they wint an' told the King, sor,

Him called Hulla-bulla-loo.

"Ye come from Oirland, sor?" sez he.

"Bedad!" sez Oi, "thot's true."

Thin he whispered to the cook, sor;

An' the cook he giv me warnin':

"It's Oirish stew² you'll be," sez he,

"To-morrow, come the marnin'."

But to-morrow, be the Powers, sor,

The King wuz moighty bad,

Wid most odjus pains insoide him,

An' they nearly drove him mad;

So he sint a little note, sor,

By the cook, apologoizin'

For not cooking me that day, sor,

Wid politeness most surprisin'!

An' Oi wrote him back a letther,

Jist expressin' my regret,

Thot Oi shouldn't hiv the honor,

Sor, ov bein' cooked an' et;

An' Oi indid up the letther

Wid a midical expresshin,

As would lead him to imagine

Oi belonged to the professhin.

Och! he sint for me at wonct, sor.

"If ye'll only save me loife,"

Sez he, "Oi'll give yez money,

An' a most attractive woife,

An' ye won't be in the menu

Ov me little dinner party

If ye'll only pull me round," sez he,

"An' make me sthrong an' hearty³."

So Oi made a diagnosis⁴

Wid my penknife an' some sthring

(Though Oi hadn't got a notion

How they made the blessid thing;

But Oi knew thot docthors did it

Phwen they undertook a case, sor),

An' Oi saw his pulse, an' filt his tongue,

An' pulled a sarious face, sor.

Thin Oi troied a bit ov blarney.

"Plaze, yer gracious Madjisty,

It's yer brains iz much too big, sor,

For yer cranium, ye see."

But the King he looked suspicious,

An' he giv a moighty frown, sor.

"The pain's not there at all," sez he,

"The pain is further down, sor."

"Oi'm commin', sor, to thot," sez Oi.

"Lie quiet, sor, an' still,

While Oi go an' make yer Madjisty

Me cilebratid pill."

In the pocket ov me jacket

Oi had found an old ship's biscuit

("An' Oi think," sez Oi, "'twill do," sez Oi,

"At any rate Oi'll risk it").

 

The biscuit it wuz soft an' black

By raisin⁵ ov the wet,

An' it made the foinist pill, sor,

Thot Oi've iver seen as yet;

It wuz flavoured rayther sthrongly

Wid salt wather an' tobaccy,

But, be jabers, sor, it did the thrick,

An' cured the blissid blackie!

The King wuz as deloighted,

An' as grateful as could be,

An' he got devorced from all his woives,

An' giv the lot to me;

But a steamer, passin' handy,

Wuz more plazin' to "yours trooly,"

An' among the passingers aboard

Wuz the "Docthor",—Pat O'Dooley.

1 monarch   

n.帝王，君主，最高统治者

参考例句：

• The monarch's role is purely ceremonial.君主纯粹是个礼仪职位。
• I think myself happier now than the greatest monarch upon earth.我觉得这个时候比世界上什么帝王都快乐。

2 stew   

n.炖汤，焖，烦恼；v.炖汤，焖，忧虑

参考例句：

• The stew must be boiled up before serving.炖肉必须煮熟才能上桌。
• There's no need to get in a stew.没有必要烦恼。

3 hearty   

adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的

参考例句：

• After work they made a hearty meal in the worker's canteen.工作完了，他们在工人食堂饱餐了一顿。
• We accorded him a hearty welcome.我们给他热忱的欢迎。

4 diagnosis   

n.诊断，诊断结果，调查分析，判断

参考例句：

• His symptoms gave no obvious pointer to a possible diagnosis.他的症状无法作出明确的诊断。
• The engineer made a complete diagnosis of the bridge's collapse.工程师对桥的倒塌做一次彻底的调查分析。

5 raisin   

n.葡萄干

参考例句：

• They baked us raisin bread.他们给我们烤葡萄干面包。
• You can also make raisin scones.你也可以做葡萄干烤饼。