XXIII. THAT OF THE UNDERGROUND "SULPHUR CURE."

 Sulphuric smoke doth nearly choke

That person—more's the pity—

Who does the round, by Underground,

On pleasure, or on business bound,

From West End to the City.

At Gower Street I chanced to meet,

One day, a strange old party,

Who tore his hair in wild despair,

Until I thought—"I would not swear,

That you're not mad, my hearty¹."

"Yes, mad, quite mad. Dear me! How sad!"

I cried; for, to the porter,

He did complain—"Look here! Again

No smoke from any single train

That's passed within the quarter.

 

"This air's too pure! I cannot cure

My patients, if you don't, sir,

Sulphuric gas allow to pass,

Until it thickly coats the glass.

Put up with this I won't, sir!"

I noticed then some gentlemen

And ladies join the chatter—

And dear, dear, dear, they did look queer!

Thought I—"They're very ill, I fear;

I wonder what's the matter."

Surmise² was vain. In came my train.

I got in. "First"—a "Smoking."

That motley crew—they got in too.

I wondered what on earth to do,

For each began a-choking.

 

"Pray, won't you smoke?" the old man spoke³.

Thought I—"He's growing madder."

"I wish you would. 'Twould do them good.

My card I'd hand you if I could,

But have none. My name's Chadder.

"My patients these. Now, if you please!"

He cried, in tones commanding,

And gave three raps, "I think, perhaps,

We'd best begin. Undo⁴ your wraps!"

This passed my understanding.

"Put out your tongues! Inflate⁵ your lungs!"

His patients all got ready;

Their wraps thrown off, they each did doff⁶

Their respirator—spite their cough—

And took breaths long and steady.

"Inhale⁷! Inhale! And do not fail

The air you take to swallow!"

They gasped⁸, and wheezed⁹, and coughed, and sneezed.

Their "doctor," he looked mighty¹⁰ pleased.

Expecting me to follow.

"Pray, tell me why, good sir!" gasped I,

"Before I lose my senses,

Why ever you such strange things do?

To know this, I confess my cu-

Riosity immense is."

In accents mild he spoke, and smiled.

"Delighted! I assure you.

We take the air—nay! do not stare;

Should aught your normal health impair¹¹,

This 'sulphur cure' will cure you.

"I undertake, quite well to make

Patients,—whate'er they're ailing¹².

Each day we meet, proceed en suite¹³

From Edgware Road to Gower Street,

And back again—inhaling.

"That sulphur's good, 'tis understood,

But, I would briefly¹⁴ mention,

The simple way—as one may say,—

In which we take it, day by day,

Is quite my own invention.

"Profits? Ah, yes, I must confess

I make a tidy bit, sir?

Tho' Mr. Perkes', and Mr. Yerkes

'S system—if it only works—

Will put a stop to it, sir."

A stifled¹⁵ sigh, a tear-dimmed eye

Betrayed his agitation¹⁶.

"Down here there'll be no smoke," said he,

"When run by electricity.

Excuse me! Here's our station!"

He fussed about, and got them out,

(Those invalids¹⁷ I mean, sir,)

Then raised his hat; I bowed at that,

And then, remaining where I sat,

Went on to Turnham Green, sir.

1 hearty   

adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的

参考例句：

• After work they made a hearty meal in the worker's canteen.工作完了，他们在工人食堂饱餐了一顿。
• We accorded him a hearty welcome.我们给他热忱的欢迎。

2 surmise   

v./n.猜想，推测

参考例句：

• It turned out that my surmise was correct.结果表明我的推测没有错。
• I surmise that he will take the job.我推测他会接受这份工作。

3 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

4 undo   

vt.解开，松开；取消，撤销

参考例句：

• His pride will undo him some day.他的傲慢总有一天会毁了他。
• I managed secretly to undo a corner of the parcel.我悄悄地设法解开了包裹的一角。

5 inflate   

vt.使膨胀，使骄傲，抬高（物价）

参考例句：

• The buyers bid against each other and often inflate the prices they pay.买主们竞相投标，往往人为地提高价钱。
• Stuart jumped into the sea and inflated the liferaft.斯图尔特跳到海里给救生艇充气。

6 doff   

v.脱，丢弃，废除

参考例句：

• The peasants doff their hats.农民脱下了他们的帽子。
• When he received me informally,he doffed the uniform of state and always wore a long chinese coat.当他非正式接见我的时候，他不穿礼服而总是穿中国长袍。

7 inhale   

v.吸入(气体等)，吸(烟)

参考例句：

• Don't inhale dust into your lung.别把灰尘吸进肺里。
• They are pleased to not inhale second hand smoke.他们很高兴他们再也不会吸到二手烟了。

8 gasped   

v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要

参考例句：

• She gasped at the wonderful view. 如此美景使她惊讶得屏住了呼吸。
• People gasped with admiration at the superb skill of the gymnasts. 体操运动员的高超技艺令人赞叹。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

9 wheezed   

v.喘息，发出呼哧呼哧的喘息声( wheeze的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The old organ wheezed out a tune. 那架老风琴呜呜地奏出曲子。 来自辞典例句
• He wheezed out a curse. 他喘着气诅咒。 来自辞典例句

10 mighty   

adj.强有力的；巨大的

参考例句：

• A mighty force was about to break loose.一股巨大的力量即将迸发而出。
• The mighty iceberg came into view.巨大的冰山出现在眼前。

11 impair   

v.损害，损伤；削弱，减少

参考例句：

• Loud noise can impair your hearing.巨大的噪音有损听觉。
• It can not impair the intellectual vigor of the young.这不能磨灭青年人思想活力。

12 ailing   

v.生病

参考例句：

• They discussed the problems ailing the steel industry. 他们讨论了困扰钢铁工业的问题。
• She looked after her ailing father. 她照顾有病的父亲。

13 suite   

n.一套(家具)；套房；随从人员

参考例句：

• She has a suite of rooms in the hotel.她在那家旅馆有一套房间。
• That is a nice suite of furniture.那套家具很不错。

14 briefly   

adv.简单地，简短地

参考例句：

• I want to touch briefly on another aspect of the problem.我想简单地谈一下这个问题的另一方面。
• He was kidnapped and briefly detained by a terrorist group.他被一个恐怖组织绑架并短暂拘禁。

15 stifled   

（使）窒息， （使）窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 )； 镇压，遏制； 堵

参考例句：

• The gas stifled them. 煤气使他们窒息。
• The rebellion was stifled. 叛乱被镇压了。

16 agitation   

n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动

参考例句：

• Small shopkeepers carried on a long agitation against the big department stores.小店主们长期以来一直在煽动人们反对大型百货商店。
• These materials require constant agitation to keep them in suspension.这些药剂要经常搅动以保持悬浮状态。

17 invalids   

病人，残疾者( invalid的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The invention will confer a benefit on all invalids. 这项发明将有助于所有的残疾人。
• H?tel National Des Invalids is a majestic building with a golden hemispherical housetop. 荣军院是有着半球形镀金屋顶的宏伟建筑。