XXXVIII. THAT OF JEREMIAH SCOLES, MISER.

 I sing of joys, and junketings,

Of holly¹, and of such-like things;

I sing of merry mistletoe,

And,—pardon me,—I sing also

Of Jeremiah Scoles.

I sing of Mister Scoles because

So singular a man he was,

And had so very strange a way

Of celebrating Christmas Day—

Unlike all other souls.

Myself, I am a cheerful man,

Enjoying life as best I can.

At Christmas-time I love to see

The flow of mirth and jollity

About the festive² board;

I love to dance, I try to sing;

On enemies, like anything,

At Christmas-time I heap hot coals,

But not so Jeremiah Scoles—

He loves a miser's hoard³.

I chanced one year, on Christmas Day,

To call upon him, just to say

That we'd be very pleased to see

Him, if he'd care to come to tea.

I found him quite alone.

He sat before a fireless grate;

The room looked bare and desolate⁴,

And he, unkempt, in dressing-gown,

Received me with an angry frown,

And spoke⁵ in surly tone.

 

"Ha! what d'ye want?" said he to me

And eyed me most suspiciously.

I laughed and gave a hearty⁶ smack⁷

Upon the grumpy fellow's back,

And cried: "Come home with me.

We'll treat you well. There's lots of fun—"

But ere I scarcely had begun

He cut me short. "Pooh! folly⁸! stuff!

See here; I've fun—quite fun enough!"

He laughed, but mirthlessly.

Before him on the table lay

Gold, silver, coppers⁹, in array;

Some empty bottles; stacks of bills;

Some boxes for containing pills—

And that was all. Said he:

"This gold is what I haven't spent

In presents; and the silver's meant

To show what could be wasted in—

Pah!—Christmas boxes. 'Tis a sin

I don't encourage—no, not me?

"The coppers—little boys, no doubt,

Would like 'em—they may go without;

While these long bills I should have had

From tradesmen, had I been so mad

As to have bought the things

They represent for Christmas cheer;

These bottles and pill-boxes here

Show what I will not have to take,

Because I'll have no stomach-ache

That over-eating brings.

 

"And thus I spend my Christmas Day,

Thinking what silly fools are they

Who spend so much in solid cash

On so much sentimental¹⁰ trash.

And now, good-day to you!"

He showed me out, he banged the door,

And I was—where I was before.

* * *

I really think, upon my word,

His line of reasoning's most absurd.

No doubt you think so, too?

1 holly   

n.[植]冬青属灌木

参考例句：

• I recently acquired some wood from a holly tree.最近我从一棵冬青树上弄了些木料。
• People often decorate their houses with holly at Christmas.人们总是在圣诞节时用冬青来装饰房屋。

2 festive   

adj.欢宴的，节日的

参考例句：

• It was Christmas and everyone was in festive mood.当时是圣诞节，每个人都沉浸在节日的欢乐中。
• We all wore festive costumes to the ball.我们都穿着节日的盛装前去参加舞会。

3 hoard   

n./v.窖藏，贮存，囤积

参考例句：

• They have a hoard of food in the basement.地下室里有他们贮藏的食物。
• How many curios do you hoard in your study?你在你书房里聚藏了多少古玩？

4 desolate   

adj.荒凉的，荒芜的；孤独的，凄凉的；v.使荒芜，使孤寂

参考例句：

• The city was burned into a desolate waste.那座城市被烧成一片废墟。
• We all felt absolutely desolate when she left.她走后，我们都觉得万分孤寂。

5 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

6 hearty   

adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的

参考例句：

• After work they made a hearty meal in the worker's canteen.工作完了，他们在工人食堂饱餐了一顿。
• We accorded him a hearty welcome.我们给他热忱的欢迎。

7 smack   

vt.拍，打，掴；咂嘴；vi.含有…意味；n.拍

参考例句：

• She gave him a smack on the face.她打了他一个嘴巴。
• I gave the fly a smack with the magazine.我用杂志拍了一下苍蝇。

8 folly   

n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话

参考例句：

• Learn wisdom by the folly of others.从别人的愚蠢行动中学到智慧。
• Events proved the folly of such calculations.事情的进展证明了这种估计是愚蠢的。

9 coppers   

铜( copper的名词复数 )； 铜币

参考例句：

• I only paid a few coppers for it. 我只花了几个铜板买下这东西。
• He had only a few coppers in his pocket. 他兜里仅有几个铜板。

10 sentimental   

adj.多愁善感的，感伤的

参考例句：

• She's a sentimental woman who believes marriage comes by destiny.她是多愁善感的人，她相信姻缘命中注定。
• We were deeply touched by the sentimental movie.我们深深被那感伤的电影所感动。