There were two doors by which the White Parlour was entered from the hall, and they were both standing10 open for the sake of air; but the lower one was crowded with the servants and villagers, and only the upper doorway11 was left free. Bob Cass was figuring in a hornpipe, and his father, very proud of this lithe12 son, whom he repeatedly declared to be just like himself in his young days in a tone that implied this to be the very highest stamp of juvenile13 merit, was the centre of a group who had placed themselves opposite the performer, not far from the upper door. Godfrey was standing a little way off, not to admire his brother's dancing, but to keep sight of Nancy, who was seated in the group, near her father. He stood aloof14, because he wished to avoid suggesting himself as a subject for the Squire's fatherly jokes in connection with matrimony and Miss Nancy Lammeter's beauty, which were likely to become more and more explicit15. But he had the prospect16 of dancing with her again when the hornpipe was concluded, and in the meanwhile it was very pleasant to get long glances at her quite unobserved.
But when Godfrey was lifting his eyes from one of those long glances, they encountered an object as startling to him at that moment as if it had been an apparition17 from the dead. It was an apparition from that hidden life which lies, like a dark by-street, behind the goodly ornamented18 facade19 that meets the sunlight and the gaze of respectable admirers. It was his own child, carried in Silas Marner's arms. That was his instantaneous impression, unaccompanied by doubt, though he had not seen the child for months past; and when the hope was rising that he might possibly be mistaken, Mr. Crackenthorp and Mr. Lammeter had already advanced to Silas, in astonishment21 at this strange advent22. Godfrey joined them immediately, unable to rest without hearing every word—trying to control himself, but conscious that if any one noticed him, they must see that he was white-lipped and trembling.
But now all eyes at that end of the room were bent23 on Silas Marner; the Squire himself had risen, and asked angrily, "How's this?—what's this?—what do you do coming in here in this way?"
"I'm come for the doctor—I want the doctor," Silas had said, in the first moment, to Mr. Crackenthorp.
"Why, what's the matter, Marner?" said the rector. "The doctor's here; but say quietly what you want him for."
"It's a woman," said Silas, speaking low, and half-breathlessly, just as Godfrey came up. "She's dead, I think—dead in the snow at the Stone-pits—not far from my door."
Godfrey felt a great throb24: there was one terror in his mind at that moment: it was, that the woman might not be dead. That was an evil terror—an ugly inmate25 to have found a nestling-place in Godfrey's kindly26 disposition27; but no disposition is a security from evil wishes to a man whose happiness hangs on duplicity.
"Hush28, hush!" said Mr. Crackenthorp. "Go out into the hall there. I'll fetch the doctor to you. Found a woman in the snow—and thinks she's dead," he added, speaking low to the Squire. "Better say as little about it as possible: it will shock the ladies. Just tell them a poor woman is ill from cold and hunger. I'll go and fetch Kimble."
By this time, however, the ladies had pressed forward, curious to know what could have brought the solitary29 linen-weaver there under such strange circumstances, and interested in the pretty child, who, half alarmed and half attracted by the brightness and the numerous company, now frowned and hid her face, now lifted up her head again and looked round placably, until a touch or a coaxing30 word brought back the frown, and made her bury her face with new determination.
"What child is it?" said several ladies at once, and, among the rest, Nancy Lammeter, addressing Godfrey.
"I don't know—some poor woman's who has been found in the snow, I believe," was the answer Godfrey wrung31 from himself with a terrible effort. ("After all, am I certain?" he hastened to add, silently, in anticipation32 of his own conscience.)
"Why, you'd better leave the child here, then, Master Marner," said good-natured Mrs. Kimble, hesitating, however, to take those dingy33 clothes into contact with her own ornamented satin bodice. "I'll tell one o' the girls to fetch it."
"No—no—I can't part with it, I can't let it go," said Silas, abruptly34. "It's come to me—I've a right to keep it."
The proposition to take the child from him had come to Silas quite unexpectedly, and his speech, uttered under a strong sudden impulse, was almost like a revelation to himself: a minute before, he had no distinct intention about the child.
"Did you ever hear the like?" said Mrs. Kimble, in mild surprise, to her neighbour.
"Now, ladies, I must trouble you to stand aside," said Mr. Kimble, coming from the card-room, in some bitterness at the interruption, but drilled by the long habit of his profession into obedience35 to unpleasant calls, even when he was hardly sober.
"It's a nasty business turning out now, eh, Kimble?" said the Squire. "He might ha' gone for your young fellow—the 'prentice, there—what's his name?"
"Might? aye—what's the use of talking about might?" growled36 uncle Kimble, hastening out with Marner, and followed by Mr. Crackenthorp and Godfrey. "Get me a pair of thick boots, Godfrey, will you? And stay, let somebody run to Winthrop's and fetch Dolly—she's the best woman to get. Ben was here himself before supper; is he gone?"
"Yes, sir, I met him," said Marner; "but I couldn't stop to tell him anything, only I said I was going for the doctor, and he said the doctor was at the Squire's. And I made haste and ran, and there was nobody to be seen at the back o' the house, and so I went in to where the company was."
The child, no longer distracted by the bright light and the smiling women's faces, began to cry and call for "mammy", though always clinging to Marner, who had apparently37 won her thorough confidence. Godfrey had come back with the boots, and felt the cry as if some fibre were drawn38 tight within him.
"I'll go," he said, hastily, eager for some movement; "I'll go and fetch the woman—Mrs. Winthrop."
"Oh, pooh—send somebody else," said uncle Kimble, hurrying away with Marner.
"You'll let me know if I can be of any use, Kimble," said Mr. Crackenthorp. But the doctor was out of hearing.
Godfrey, too, had disappeared: he was gone to snatch his hat and coat, having just reflection enough to remember that he must not look like a madman; but he rushed out of the house into the snow without heeding39 his thin shoes.
In a few minutes he was on his rapid way to the Stone-pits by the side of Dolly, who, though feeling that she was entirely40 in her place in encountering cold and snow on an errand of mercy, was much concerned at a young gentleman's getting his feet wet under a like impulse.
"You'd a deal better go back, sir," said Dolly, with respectful compassion41. "You've no call to catch cold; and I'd ask you if you'd be so good as tell my husband to come, on your way back—he's at the Rainbow, I doubt—if you found him anyway sober enough to be o' use. Or else, there's Mrs. Snell 'ud happen send the boy up to fetch and carry, for there may be things wanted from the doctor's."
"No, I'll stay, now I'm once out—I'll stay outside here," said Godfrey, when they came opposite Marner's cottage. "You can come and tell me if I can do anything."
"Well, sir, you're very good: you've a tender heart," said Dolly, going to the door.
Godfrey was too painfully preoccupied42 to feel a twinge of self-reproach at this undeserved praise. He walked up and down, unconscious that he was plunging43 ankle-deep in snow, unconscious of everything but trembling suspense44 about what was going on in the cottage, and the effect of each alternative on his future lot. No, not quite unconscious of everything else. Deeper down, and half-smothered by passionate45 desire and dread46, there was the sense that he ought not to be waiting on these alternatives; that he ought to accept the consequences of his deeds, own the miserable47 wife, and fulfil the claims of the helpless child. But he had not moral courage enough to contemplate49 that active renunciation of Nancy as possible for him: he had only conscience and heart enough to make him for ever uneasy under the weakness that forbade the renunciation. And at this moment his mind leaped away from all restraint toward the sudden prospect of deliverance from his long bondage50.
"Is she dead?" said the voice that predominated over every other within him. "If she is, I may marry Nancy; and then I shall be a good fellow in future, and have no secrets, and the child—shall be taken care of somehow." But across that vision came the other possibility—"She may live, and then it's all up with me."
Godfrey never knew how long it was before the door of the cottage opened and Mr. Kimble came out. He went forward to meet his uncle, prepared to suppress the agitation51 he must feel, whatever news he was to hear.
"I waited for you, as I'd come so far," he said, speaking first.
"Pooh, it was nonsense for you to come out: why didn't you send one of the men? There's nothing to be done. She's dead—has been dead for hours, I should say."
"What sort of woman is she?" said Godfrey, feeling the blood rush to his face.
"A young woman, but emaciated52, with long black hair. Some vagrant—quite in rags. She's got a wedding-ring on, however. They must fetch her away to the workhouse to-morrow. Come, come along."
"I want to look at her," said Godfrey. "I think I saw such a woman yesterday. I'll overtake you in a minute or two."
Mr. Kimble went on, and Godfrey turned back to the cottage. He cast only one glance at the dead face on the pillow, which Dolly had smoothed with decent care; but he remembered that last look at his unhappy hated wife so well, that at the end of sixteen years every line in the worn face was present to him when he told the full story of this night.
He turned immediately towards the hearth53, where Silas Marner sat lulling54 the child. She was perfectly55 quiet now, but not asleep—only soothed56 by sweet porridge and warmth into that wide-gazing calm which makes us older human beings, with our inward turmoil57, feel a certain awe58 in the presence of a little child, such as we feel before some quiet majesty59 or beauty in the earth or sky—before a steady glowing planet, or a full-flowered eglantine, or the bending trees over a silent pathway. The wide-open blue eyes looked up at Godfrey's without any uneasiness or sign of recognition: the child could make no visible audible claim on its father; and the father felt a strange mixture of feelings, a conflict of regret and joy, that the pulse of that little heart had no response for the half-jealous yearning60 in his own, when the blue eyes turned away from him slowly, and fixed61 themselves on the weaver's queer face, which was bent low down to look at them, while the small hand began to pull Marner's withered62 cheek with loving disfiguration.
"You'll take the child to the parish to-morrow?" asked Godfrey, speaking as indifferently as he could.
"Who says so?" said Marner, sharply. "Will they make me take her?"
"Why, you wouldn't like to keep her, should you—an old bachelor like you?"
"Till anybody shows they've a right to take her away from me," said Marner. "The mother's dead, and I reckon it's got no father: it's a lone63 thing—and I'm a lone thing. My money's gone, I don't know where—and this is come from I don't know where. I know nothing—I'm partly mazed64."
"Poor little thing!" said Godfrey. "Let me give something towards finding it clothes."
He had put his hand in his pocket and found half-a-guinea, and, thrusting it into Silas's hand, he hurried out of the cottage to overtake Mr. Kimble.
"Ah, I see it's not the same woman I saw," he said, as he came up. "It's a pretty little child: the old fellow seems to want to keep it; that's strange for a miser48 like him. But I gave him a trifle to help him out: the parish isn't likely to quarrel with him for the right to keep the child."
"No; but I've seen the time when I might have quarrelled with him for it myself. It's too late now, though. If the child ran into the fire, your aunt's too fat to overtake it: she could only sit and grunt65 like an alarmed sow. But what a fool you are, Godfrey, to come out in your dancing shoes and stockings in this way—and you one of the beaux of the evening, and at your own house! What do you mean by such freaks, young fellow? Has Miss Nancy been cruel, and do you want to spite her by spoiling your pumps?"
"Oh, everything has been disagreeable to-night. I was tired to death of jigging66 and gallanting, and that bother about the hornpipes. And I'd got to dance with the other Miss Gunn," said Godfrey, glad of the subterfuge67 his uncle had suggested to him.
The prevarication68 and white lies which a mind that keeps itself ambitiously pure is as uneasy under as a great artist under the false touches that no eye detects but his own, are worn as lightly as mere69 trimmings when once the actions have become a lie.
Godfrey reappeared in the White Parlour with dry feet, and, since the truth must be told, with a sense of relief and gladness that was too strong for painful thoughts to struggle with. For could he not venture now, whenever opportunity offered, to say the tenderest things to Nancy Lammeter—to promise her and himself that he would always be just what she would desire to see him? There was no danger that his dead wife would be recognized: those were not days of active inquiry70 and wide report; and as for the registry of their marriage, that was a long way off, buried in unturned pages, away from every one's interest but his own. Dunsey might betray him if he came back; but Dunsey might be won to silence.
And when events turn out so much better for a man than he has had reason to dread, is it not a proof that his conduct has been less foolish and blameworthy than it might otherwise have appeared? When we are treated well, we naturally begin to think that we are not altogether unmeritorious, and that it is only just we should treat ourselves well, and not mar20 our own good fortune. Where, after all, would be the use of his confessing the past to Nancy Lammeter, and throwing away his happiness?—nay, hers? for he felt some confidence that she loved him. As for the child, he would see that it was cared for: he would never forsake71 it; he would do everything but own it. Perhaps it would be just as happy in life without being owned by its father, seeing that nobody could tell how things would turn out, and that—is there any other reason wanted?—well, then, that the father would be much happier without owning the child.
点击收听单词发音
1 accomplishments | |
n.造诣;完成( accomplishment的名词复数 );技能;成绩;成就 | |
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2 squire | |
n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
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3 scattering | |
n.[物]散射;散乱,分散;在媒介质中的散播adj.散乱的;分散在不同范围的;广泛扩散的;(选票)数量分散的v.散射(scatter的ing形式);散布;驱散 | |
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4 exasperating | |
adj. 激怒的 动词exasperate的现在分词形式 | |
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5 volatile | |
adj.反复无常的,挥发性的,稍纵即逝的,脾气火爆的;n.挥发性物质 | |
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6 shuffled | |
v.洗(纸牌)( shuffle的过去式和过去分词 );拖着脚步走;粗心地做;摆脱尘世的烦恼 | |
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7 profligacy | |
n.放荡,不检点,肆意挥霍 | |
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8 enjoyment | |
n.乐趣;享有;享用 | |
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9 solitude | |
n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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10 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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11 doorway | |
n.门口,(喻)入门;门路,途径 | |
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12 lithe | |
adj.(指人、身体)柔软的,易弯的 | |
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13 juvenile | |
n.青少年,少年读物;adj.青少年的,幼稚的 | |
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14 aloof | |
adj.远离的;冷淡的,漠不关心的 | |
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15 explicit | |
adj.详述的,明确的;坦率的;显然的 | |
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16 prospect | |
n.前景,前途;景色,视野 | |
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17 apparition | |
n.幽灵,神奇的现象 | |
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18 ornamented | |
adj.花式字体的v.装饰,点缀,美化( ornament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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19 facade | |
n.(建筑物的)正面,临街正面;外表 | |
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20 mar | |
vt.破坏,毁坏,弄糟 | |
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21 astonishment | |
n.惊奇,惊异 | |
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22 advent | |
n.(重要事件等的)到来,来临 | |
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23 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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24 throb | |
v.震颤,颤动;(急速强烈地)跳动,搏动 | |
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25 inmate | |
n.被收容者;(房屋等的)居住人;住院人 | |
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26 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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27 disposition | |
n.性情,性格;意向,倾向;排列,部署 | |
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28 hush | |
int.嘘,别出声;n.沉默,静寂;v.使安静 | |
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29 solitary | |
adj.孤独的,独立的,荒凉的;n.隐士 | |
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30 coaxing | |
v.哄,用好话劝说( coax的现在分词 );巧言骗取;哄劝,劝诱;“锻炼”效应 | |
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31 wrung | |
绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 ); 握紧(尤指别人的手); 把(湿衣服)拧干; 绞掉(水) | |
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32 anticipation | |
n.预期,预料,期望 | |
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33 dingy | |
adj.昏暗的,肮脏的 | |
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34 abruptly | |
adv.突然地,出其不意地 | |
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35 obedience | |
n.服从,顺从 | |
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36 growled | |
v.(动物)发狺狺声, (雷)作隆隆声( growl的过去式和过去分词 );低声咆哮着说 | |
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37 apparently | |
adv.显然地;表面上,似乎 | |
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38 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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39 heeding | |
v.听某人的劝告,听从( heed的现在分词 ) | |
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40 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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41 compassion | |
n.同情,怜悯 | |
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42 preoccupied | |
adj.全神贯注的,入神的;被抢先占有的;心事重重的v.占据(某人)思想,使对…全神贯注,使专心于( preoccupy的过去式) | |
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43 plunging | |
adj.跳进的,突进的v.颠簸( plunge的现在分词 );暴跌;骤降;突降 | |
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44 suspense | |
n.(对可能发生的事)紧张感,担心,挂虑 | |
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45 passionate | |
adj.热情的,热烈的,激昂的,易动情的,易怒的,性情暴躁的 | |
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46 dread | |
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧 | |
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47 miserable | |
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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48 miser | |
n.守财奴,吝啬鬼 (adj.miserly) | |
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49 contemplate | |
vt.盘算,计议;周密考虑;注视,凝视 | |
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50 bondage | |
n.奴役,束缚 | |
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51 agitation | |
n.搅动;搅拌;鼓动,煽动 | |
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52 emaciated | |
adj.衰弱的,消瘦的 | |
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53 hearth | |
n.壁炉炉床,壁炉地面 | |
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54 lulling | |
vt.使镇静,使安静(lull的现在分词形式) | |
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55 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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56 soothed | |
v.安慰( soothe的过去式和过去分词 );抚慰;使舒服;减轻痛苦 | |
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57 turmoil | |
n.骚乱,混乱,动乱 | |
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58 awe | |
n.敬畏,惊惧;vt.使敬畏,使惊惧 | |
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59 majesty | |
n.雄伟,壮丽,庄严,威严;最高权威,王权 | |
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60 yearning | |
a.渴望的;向往的;怀念的 | |
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61 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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62 withered | |
adj. 枯萎的,干瘪的,(人身体的部分器官)因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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63 lone | |
adj.孤寂的,单独的;唯一的 | |
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64 mazed | |
迷惘的,困惑的 | |
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65 grunt | |
v.嘟哝;作呼噜声;n.呼噜声,嘟哝 | |
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66 jigging | |
n.跳汰选,簸选v.(使)上下急动( jig的现在分词 ) | |
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67 subterfuge | |
n.诡计;藉口 | |
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68 prevarication | |
n.支吾;搪塞;说谎;有枝有叶 | |
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69 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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70 inquiry | |
n.打听,询问,调查,查问 | |
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71 forsake | |
vt.遗弃,抛弃;舍弃,放弃 | |
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