Thus do reformers blind themselves to conditions as they are. The village drunkard, tottering19 to his grave, has been reformed—if he was worth reforming at all—while the arriving host of youth is dancing and singing and jazzing its way “down the primrose20 path to the everlasting21 bonfire.”
This is but another evidence of our national hypocrisy22. And not content with making the land dry—which we haven23’t done at all—we must go out and make the sea dry. Our holier-than-thou attitude has caused us to lose our sense of humor, verily; for111 to dry up the ocean is going Moses and the children of Israel one better. Moreover, the day of miracles is past.
It was in the early Fall of 1922 that we suddenly discovered that our ships were a part of sacred American soil. International law had long since told us so, but somehow, in the confusion following the passage of Mr. Volstead’s vaudeville24 act, we had forgotten it. Perhaps we were too busy, like the Wyoming ladies, trying to make our citizens good on shore to get around to those sensible enough to leave the country for an ocean voyage. That is the American way.
At any rate, our boats continued, under Mr. Lasker, to be pleasant oases25 on the desert of the sea; and fortunate indeed were those who lived along the coast and could jump aboard if things became unbearable26 at home—which they hadn’t. Yet it was good to know that there the ships lay in harbor, ready for each and all of us, stocked with pleasant and rare vintages. Again the rich were in luck. If one’s pocketbook were fat enough, one could obtain anything one desired. God pity the poor workingman, but life was life, and there were plenty of luxuries which had always been denied the impoverished27, but which the wealthy took as a part of the strange scheme of things, and oh, yes, it was awfully28 unfair, but that was that, and after all what was one to do about it, and it was too bad, and oh, dear, and oh, my, and goodness gracious and a lot112 of other stuff which I have overheard but mercifully forgotten.
It took us two and a half years to discover in one minute that Uncle Sam himself had been a bootlegger at sea. A long, long time to have had our own eyes sealed! But when Attorney General Daugherty finally issued his decision that American boats must be dry, all sorts of complications arose. We told foreign governments that their ships, too, must not enter our ports with liquor aboard. All the ocean, within the three-mile limit prescribed by international law, was to cease to be wet. It mattered not that Italian sailors were supplied with red wine as part of their fare; they must throw it overboard before they came into our sanctified precincts. And even if foreign bars were sealed and padlocked and double-padlocked, they would be anathema29 to us. Whether the liquor brought over on them was intended to be sold here, or merely kept on board for the return voyage, mattered not. We were going to put a stop to rum-running, and now, Mr. Foreigner, what are you going to do about it?
As this is written, England has already protested against such drastic and high-handed action. One of the British ships has been seized, and a test case is to be made of her seizure30. We, who held aloof31 so long from all sorts of entangling32 alliances; we who preached the doctrine33 of staying at home and minding our own business, suddenly find ourselves113 rushing in where angels fear to tread; and, losing our humor, we may likewise lose our friends.
The powerful Anti-Saloon League is responsible for our foolhardiness. We will ruin American shipping34, we will commit maritime35 harikari; but it is all right, since, having slipped our heads into the noose36 of the fanatics37, what difference does it make how soon or how slowly we strangle to death?
Of course there will be all sorts of confusion, all kinds of delays in the courts—for naturally other nations will make test cases, and it will be many months—perhaps years—before America knows how she stands with Europeans and how Europeans stand with her. It is one thing to manage our own citizens—quite another to guide the conduct of our neighbors.
It is curious how ships and shipping enter into our governmental affairs again—how history repeats itself. Deny it though we will, we got into the World War only after our shipping had been interfered39 with. We accepted German insults and taunts41; but the moment our business interests were at stake, we took up our guns and rushed to save the Allies and make the world safe for democracy. A utilitarian42 reason for saving our own necks—that is all that it was; and we cannot close our eyes to our spiritual shortcomings.
Now we have the effrontery43 to interfere40 with the ships and shipping of foreign countries. Let us see what will happen to us. Remember that there is no114 War going on, to fill people with emotion and ecstasy44. This is to be a cold, steel-like remedying of troubles. Why should our laws be respected, and those of other nations treated with contempt? Who are we to say that a Latin sailor should not consume a glass of red wine with his rations45?
No one can tell what the Supreme46 Court will do; but it is rather obvious that if America has closed up the saloons on shore she should close them up on sea. If, walking a street in one of our cities, you are under the protection of the Stars and Stripes, you are also under that protection pacing the deck of an American liner. Prohibition2 must follow the flag.
But some of the American lines are talking of changing the flag under which they have been sailing! Here’s a howdy-do, here’s a pretty mess. It is unthinkable that a liner should alter her citizenship47, just to carry a bit of beer. Yet that is what those staid old ladies are contemplating48. To what dreadful deportment are we driven, with Mr. Volstead ruling us!
If our ships have to go dry, we will cut off the large freight business in the West Indies, since much rum is exported from these islands. There can be no transportation of wine to countries like France, Spain and Italy; and, with such loss in revenue, how can our boats ply7 to and fro? At this writing, hundreds of passengers have cancelled their sailings on American vessels49, incensed50 at the Attorney General’s ruling.
115 The New York World, which has been a consistent and fearless enemy of Prohibition, has published many fine editorials on the subject of a dry sea; but none states the case better than this:
“Despite Mr. Lasker’s protest that it will ruin the American merchant marine51, the opinion of Attorney General Daugherty regarding the sale of liquor on vessels flying the flag of the United States is fairly certain to be upheld by the Courts. There is plenty of law and precedent52 behind it. But every phase of law and precedent that supports the opinion as it touches American shipping runs counter to the opinion as applied53 to liners under alien flags.
“Ships chartered in the United States, according to Mr. Daugherty, are subject to the laws of the United States, are, in fact, American territory; but ships chartered in foreign countries are not foreign territory. As soon as they enter American waters all vessels subject themselves to American law, which means, of course, the Volstead Act. How this comes about is not clearly explained. It would naturally be supposed that if an American ship were American territory a British ship would be British territory, and so on. Mr. Daugherty cannot have it both ways. On one point or the other he must change his mind or have it changed for him.
“But even though the enforcement law did not apply to European vessels within the three-mile limit, it is difficult to discover in what way they would violate it by carrying a sealed supply of liquor.116 Possession of liquor, as defined by the courts, must include a change of ownership. It is not legal for a manufacturer to ship liquor to a consumer through the United States, but it is legal for an owner of bonded54 liquor to remove it from one place to another within this country. Alien ships traversing American waters with sealed liquor aboard would be guilty of nothing which American citizens are not allowed on land by judicial55 decision.”
Well, if the bars are closed forever on American ships, it will but add to the present discontent; and again there will be an expression of our national hypocrisy. It does not take much vision to see what will inevitably56 happen. For just as people drink now on land when they feel so inclined, they will drink upon the ocean; and every steward57 on every American liner will become a bootlegger, whispering into the ears of passengers something like this:
“Say, I have some fine old Scotch—the real thing—only twelve dollars a bottle. Want some? I’ll see that it’s brought to your state-room. Oh, no; there’s not a particle of danger. Everybody’s doing it.”
And thus will the comedy go on; thus will the playing of the farce58 be extended beyond the three-mile limit, and within it, too; and once more we will appear before the world in our cap and bells. No arrests will be made. Things will simply drift along; and by and by, even though the Eighteenth Amendment59 remains60 in the Constitution, and the117 Volstead Act continues to be a part of our laws, both may be forgotten, just as some of the old statutes61 of the Puritans, still upon the Massachusetts records, have been allowed to float into a limbo62 of dreams.
The quandary63 which a ship finds herself in, sailing from Great Britain to the United States, is laughable. John Bull demands, under his democratic laws, made for freemen, that a certain amount of brandy be a part of every cargo64; whilst Uncle Sam, a tyrant65 now—refuses to permit even a single jug66 of ale to enter the sacred three-mile limit. Between Scylla and Charibdis the hardy67 mariner68 finds himself. On what reefs of the mind a captain plunges69 as, dazedly70 trying to obey both laws, he reads first one ruling and then the other. If he follows John, he is out with Sam; if he sticks to Sam, he is the laughing-stock of John.
This might be the sad song of any sea-captain these days:
Tweedledum and Tweedledee,
Battledore and Shuttlecock!
Is one allowed his rolling-stock!
But the end is not yet. Of course there will be concessions72, many wise shakings of the head, a profound slumber over tangled73 legal documents, and then—perhaps—an awakening74 to the fact that after all a holier-than-thou attitude scarcely pays in these times of human frailty75. We may realize, with118 our native intelligence, that we have made a foolish, a terrible, a hideous76 mistake. Worse than being hated by other nations is being laughed at by other nations. Can America stand up against the mirth of Europe over our pig-headedness and smug sanctimoniousness77? If laughter has killed politicians, can it not kill nations? If ridicule78 can end a career, can it not end national nonsense?
But somehow, despite heavy mandates79 and injunctions on the part of the drys, something tells me that the ocean is going to remain indubitably, irremediably, habitually80, irritatingly and everlastingly81 wet.
No one seems to know just where we are destined82, as a nation, to take our way. We fuss and fume83 and fret84. In the race of life, we put endless obstructions85 along the track, and leap the hurdles86 clumsily, falling now and then, picking ourselves up, falling again and otherwise behaving rather ridiculously. What it all means no one seems to know. Instead of letting well enough alone, we seem obsessed87 with the idea of interfering88 incessantly89 with goodly folk. Suppression is in the air. The skies are clear, but we put clouds in them—clouds that rise from the earth because they are of our making. The dust of the world shuts out the clean prospect90 ahead of us. We run about in circles, when, so simply, we could march on a straight line. We are very, very stupid; and though we know it now, we are afraid to admit it to ourselves.
Again our hypocrisy. Unable to respect ourselves119 and our own institutions, how can we ask other peoples to do so?
In their eagerness to make the ocean round about the United States dry, Prohibition officials even suggested to the Government that the Bahama Islands be purchased from Great Britain. In this heavenly haven, it was pointed out, rum-runners foregathered; perhaps England would help us to make such conditions impossible in the future, and would be willing to let the Islands come to us, in part payment of the old War debt. But our own territory in that direction—Porto Rico and the Virgin91 Islands—are still far from dry. With the problem of these localities still unsettled, it would seem to be a piece of folly92 to lay hands on the Bahamas, in the hope of “cleaning them up.”
Yet why stop, in our fanatic38 zeal93, at the Bahamas? Why not reach out and get the Canary Islands—indeed, everything everywhere. We who preached aloofness94 until we were blue in the face, seem suddenly bent95 upon interfering with all countries, no matter how remote they may be. When men were actually, not potentially, in danger of death and destruction, we would not lift a finger to aid them in Europe; but now, with a mock holiness that ill comports96 with our attitude of a few years ago, we are for saving a handful of drunkards from a terrible end.
And the pity of it is that we do not see how funny we are!
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1
arid
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| adj.干旱的；(土地)贫瘠的 | |
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prohibition
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| n.禁止；禁令，禁律 | |
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sanctimonious
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| adj.假装神圣的，假装虔诚的，假装诚实的 | |
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literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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gutter
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| n.沟，街沟，水槽，檐槽，贫民窟 | |
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whittling
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| v.切，削（木头），使逐渐变小( whittle的现在分词 ) | |
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ply
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| v.(搬运工等)等候顾客，弯曲 | |
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Ford
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| n.浅滩，水浅可涉处；v.涉水，涉过 | |
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procure
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| vt.获得，取得，促成；vi.拉皮条 | |
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concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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hip
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| n.臀部，髋；屋脊 | |
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stimulation
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| n.刺激，激励，鼓舞 | |
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cocktail
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| n.鸡尾酒；餐前开胃小吃；混合物 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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virtuous
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| adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的 | |
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serenely
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| adv.安详地，宁静地，平静地 | |
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slumber
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| n.睡眠，沉睡状态 | |
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18
corks
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| n.脐梅衣；软木( cork的名词复数 )；软木塞 | |
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tottering
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| adj.蹒跚的，动摇的v.走得或动得不稳( totter的现在分词 )；踉跄；蹒跚；摇摇欲坠 | |
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primrose
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| n.樱草，最佳部分， | |
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everlasting
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| adj.永恒的，持久的，无止境的 | |
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hypocrisy
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| n.伪善，虚伪 | |
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haven
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| n.安全的地方，避难所，庇护所 | |
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vaudeville
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| n.歌舞杂耍表演 | |
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oases
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| n.（沙漠中的）绿洲( oasis的名词复数 )；（困苦中）令人快慰的地方（或时刻）；乐土；乐事 | |
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unbearable
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| adj.不能容忍的；忍受不住的 | |
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impoverished
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| adj.穷困的，无力的，用尽了的v.使（某人）贫穷( impoverish的过去式和过去分词 )；使（某物）贫瘠或恶化 | |
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awfully
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| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
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anathema
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| n.诅咒；被诅咒的人(物)，十分讨厌的人(物) | |
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seizure
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| n.没收；占有；抵押 | |
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aloof
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| adj.远离的；冷淡的，漠不关心的 | |
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entangling
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| v.使某人（某物/自己）缠绕，纠缠于（某物中），使某人（自己）陷入（困难或复杂的环境中）( entangle的现在分词 ) | |
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doctrine
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| n.教义；主义；学说 | |
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shipping
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| n.船运（发货，运输，乘船） | |
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maritime
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| adj.海的，海事的，航海的，近海的，沿海的 | |
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noose
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| n.绳套，绞索（刑）；v.用套索捉；使落入圈套；处以绞刑 | |
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fanatics
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| 狂热者，入迷者( fanatic的名词复数 ) | |
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fanatic
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| n.狂热者，入迷者；adj.狂热入迷的 | |
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interfered
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| v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 )；调停；妨碍；干涉 | |
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interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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taunts
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| 嘲弄的言语，嘲笑，奚落( taunt的名词复数 ) | |
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utilitarian
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| adj.实用的，功利的 | |
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effrontery
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| n.厚颜无耻 | |
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ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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rations
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| 定量( ration的名词复数 )； 配给量； 正常量； 合理的量 | |
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supreme
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| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
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citizenship
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| n.市民权，公民权，国民的义务(身份) | |
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contemplating
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| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
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vessels
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| n.血管( vessel的名词复数 )；船；容器；（具有特殊品质或接受特殊品质的）人 | |
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incensed
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| 盛怒的 | |
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marine
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| adj.海的；海生的；航海的；海事的；n.水兵 | |
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52
precedent
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| n.先例，前例；惯例；adj.在前的，在先的 | |
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applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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bonded
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| n.有担保的，保税的，粘合的 | |
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judicial
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| adj.司法的，法庭的，审判的，明断的，公正的 | |
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inevitably
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| adv.不可避免地；必然发生地 | |
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steward
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| n.乘务员，服务员；看管人；膳食管理员 | |
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farce
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| n.闹剧，笑剧，滑稽戏；胡闹 | |
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amendment
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| n.改正，修正，改善，修正案 | |
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remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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statutes
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| 成文法( statute的名词复数 )； 法令； 法规； 章程 | |
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limbo
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| n.地狱的边缘；监狱 | |
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quandary
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| n.困惑，进迟两难之境 | |
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cargo
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| n.(一只船或一架飞机运载的)货物 | |
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tyrant
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| n.暴君，专制的君主，残暴的人 | |
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jug
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| n.(有柄，小口，可盛水等的)大壶，罐，盂 | |
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hardy
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| adj.勇敢的，果断的，吃苦的；耐寒的 | |
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mariner
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| n.水手号不载人航天探测器，海员，航海者 | |
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plunges
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| n.跳进，投入vt.使投入，使插入，使陷入vi.投入，跳进，陷入v.颠簸( plunge的第三人称单数 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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dazedly
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| 头昏眼花地，眼花缭乱地，茫然地 | |
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71
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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concessions
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| n.（尤指由政府或雇主给予的）特许权( concession的名词复数 )；承认；减价；（在某地的）特许经营权 | |
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tangled
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| adj. 纠缠的，紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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awakening
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| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
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75
frailty
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| n.脆弱；意志薄弱 | |
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76
hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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77
sanctimoniousness
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ridicule
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| v.讥讽，挖苦；n.嘲弄 | |
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79
mandates
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| 托管（mandate的第三人称单数形式） | |
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80
habitually
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| ad.习惯地，通常地 | |
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81
everlastingly
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| 永久地，持久地 | |
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82
destined
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| adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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83
fume
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| n.(usu pl.)(浓烈或难闻的)烟，气，汽 | |
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84
fret
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| v.(使)烦恼；(使)焦急；(使)腐蚀，(使)磨损 | |
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85
obstructions
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| n.障碍物( obstruction的名词复数 )；阻碍物；阻碍；阻挠 | |
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86
hurdles
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| n.障碍( hurdle的名词复数 )；跳栏；（供人或马跳跃的）栏架；跨栏赛 | |
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87
obsessed
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| adj.心神不宁的,鬼迷心窍的,沉迷的 | |
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88
interfering
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| adj. 妨碍的 动词interfere的现在分词 | |
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89
incessantly
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| ad.不停地 | |
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90
prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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91
virgin
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| n.处女，未婚女子；adj.未经使用的；未经开发的 | |
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92
folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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93
zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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94
aloofness
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| 超然态度 | |
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95
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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96
comports
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| v.表现( comport的第三人称单数 ) | |
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