The interest excited by the two papers bearing this title, in our numbers for September and October 1821, will have kept our promise of a Third Part fresh in the remembrance of our readers. That we are still unable to fulfil our engagement in its original meaning will, we, are sure, be matter of regret to them as to ourselves, especially when they have perused1 the following affecting narrative2. It was composed for the purpose of being appended to an edition of the Confessions3 in a separate volume, which is already before the public, and we have reprinted it entire, that our subscribers may be in possession of the whole of this extraordinary history.
* * * * *
The proprietors4 of this little work having determined5 on reprinting it, some explanation seems called for, to account for the non-appearance of a third part promised in the London Magazine of December last; and the more so because the proprietors, under whose guarantee that promise was issued, might otherwise be implicated6 in the blame—little or much—attached to its non-fulfilment. This blame, in mere7 justice, the author takes wholly upon himself. What may be the exact amount of the guilt8 which he thus appropriates is a very dark question to his own judgment9, and not much illuminated10 by any of the masters in casuistry whom he has consulted on the occasion. On the one hand it seems generally agreed that a promise is binding11 in the inverse12 ratio of the numbers to whom it is made; for which reason it is that we see many persons break promises without scruple13 that are made to a whole nation, who keep their faith religiously in all private engagements, breaches14 of promise towards the stronger party being committed at a man’s own peril15; on the other hand, the only parties interested in the promises of an author are his readers, and these it is a point of modesty16 in any author to believe as few as possible—or perhaps only one, in which case any promise imposes a sanctity of moral obligation which it is shocking to think of. Casuistry dismissed, however, the author throws himself on the indulgent consideration of all who may conceive themselves aggrieved17 by his delay, in the following account of his own condition from the end of last year, when the engagement was made, up nearly to the present time. For any purpose of self-excuse it might be sufficient to say that intolerable bodily suffering had totally disabled him for almost any exertion18 of mind, more especially for such as demands and presupposes a pleasurable and genial19 state of feeling; but, as a case that may by possibility contribute a trifle to the medical history of opium20, in a further stage of its action than can often have been brought under the notice of professional men, he has judged that it might be acceptable to some readers to have it described more at length. Fiat experimentum in corpore vili is a just rule where there is any reasonable presumption21 of benefit to arise on a large scale. What the benefit may be will admit of a doubt, but there can be none as to the value of the body; for a more worthless body than his own the author is free to confess cannot be. It is his pride to believe that it is the very ideal of a base, crazy, despicable human system, that hardly ever could have been meant to be seaworthy for two days under the ordinary storms and wear and tear of life; and indeed, if that were the creditable way of disposing of human bodies, he must own that he should almost be ashamed to bequeath his wretched structure to any respectable dog. But now to the case, which, for the sake of avoiding the constant recurrence22 of a cumbersome23 periphrasis, the author will take the liberty of giving in the first person.
* * * * *
Those who have read the Confessions will have closed them with the impression that I had wholly renounced25 the use of opium. This impression I meant to convey, and that for two reasons: first, because the very act of deliberately26 recording27 such a state of suffering necessarily presumes in the recorder a power of surveying his own case as a cool spectator, and a degree of spirits for adequately describing it which it would be inconsistent to suppose in any person speaking from the station of an actual sufferer; secondly28, because I, who had descended29 from so large a quantity as 8,000 drops to so small a one (comparatively speaking) as a quantity ranging between 300 and 160 drops, might well suppose that the victory was in effect achieved. In suffering my readers, therefore, to think of me as of a reformed opium-eater, I left no impression but what I shared myself; and, as may be seen, even this impression was left to be collected from the general tone of the conclusion, and not from any specific words, which are in no instance at variance30 with the literal truth. In no long time after that paper was written I became sensible that the effort which remained would cost me far more energy than I had anticipated, and the necessity for making it was more apparent every month. In particular I became aware of an increasing callousness31 or defect of sensibility in the stomach, and this I imagined might imply a scirrhous state of that organ, either formed or forming. An eminent32 physician, to whose kindness I was at that time deeply indebted, informed me that such a termination of my case was not impossible, though likely to be forestalled33 by a different termination in the event of my continuing the use of opium. Opium therefore I resolved wholly to abjure34 as soon as I should find myself at liberty to bend my undivided attention and energy to this purpose. It was not, however, until the 24th of June last that any tolerable concurrence35 of facilities for such an attempt arrived. On that day I began my experiment, having previously36 settled in my own mind that I would not flinch37, but would “stand up to the scratch” under any possible “punishment.” I must premise38 that about 170 or 180 drops had been my ordinary allowance for many months; occasionally I had run up as high as 500, and once nearly to 700; in repeated preludes39 to my final experiment I had also gone as low as 100 drops; but had found it impossible to stand it beyond the fourth day—which, by the way, I have always found more difficult to get over than any of the preceding three. I went off under easy sail—130 drops a day for three days; on the fourth I plunged40 at once to 80. The misery41 which I now suffered “took the conceit42” out of me at once, and for about a month I continued off and on about this mark; then I sunk to 60, and the next day to—none at all. This was the first day for nearly ten years that I had existed without opium. I persevered43 in my abstinence for ninety hours; i.e., upwards44 of half a week. Then I took—ask me not how much; say, ye severest, what would ye have done? Then I abstained45 again—then took about 25 drops then abstained; and so on.
Meantime the symptoms which attended my case for the first six weeks of my experiment were these: enormous irritability46 and excitement of the whole system; the stomach in particular restored to a full feeling of vitality47 and sensibility, but often in great pain; unceasing restlessness night and day; sleep—I scarcely knew what it was; three hours out of the twenty-four was the utmost I had, and that so agitated48 and shallow that I heard every sound that was near me. Lower jaw49 constantly swelling50, mouth ulcerated, and many other distressing51 symptoms that would be tedious to repeat; amongst which, however, I must mention one, because it had never failed to accompany any attempt to renounce24 opium—viz., violent sternutation. This now became exceedingly troublesome, sometimes lasting52 for two hours at once, and recurring53 at least twice or three times a day. I was not much surprised at this on recollecting54 what I had somewhere heard or read, that the membrane55 which lines the nostrils56 is a prolongation of that which lines the stomach; whence, I believe, are explained the inflammatory appearances about the nostrils of dram drinkers. The sudden restoration of its original sensibility to the stomach expressed itself, I suppose, in this way. It is remarkable57 also that during the whole period of years through which I had taken opium I had never once caught cold (as the phrase is), nor even the slightest cough. But now a violent cold attacked me, and a cough soon after. In an unfinished fragment of a letter begun about this time to—I find these words: “You ask me to write the—Do you know Beaumont and Fletcher’s play of “Thierry and Theodore”? There you will see my case as to sleep; nor is it much of an exaggeration in other features. I protest to you that I have a greater influx58 of thoughts in one hour at present than in a whole year under the reign59 of opium. It seems as though all the thoughts which had been frozen up for a decade of years by opium had now, according to the old fable60, been thawed61 at once—such a multitude stream in upon me from all quarters. Yet such is my impatience62 and hideous63 irritability that for one which I detain and write down fifty escape me: in spite of my weariness from suffering and want of sleep, I cannot stand still or sit for two minutes together. ‘I nunc, et versus64 tecum meditare canoros.’”
At this stage of my experiment I sent to a neighbouring surgeon, requesting that he would come over to see me. In the evening he came; and after briefly65 stating the case to him, I asked this question; Whether he did not think that the opium might have acted as a stimulus66 to the digestive organs, and that the present state of suffering in the stomach, which manifestly was the cause of the inability to sleep, might arise from indigestion? His answer was; No; on the contrary, he thought that the suffering was caused by digestion67 itself, which should naturally go on below the consciousness, but which from the unnatural68 state of the stomach, vitiated by so long a use of opium, was become distinctly perceptible. This opinion was plausible69; and the unintermitting nature of the suffering disposes me to think that it was true, for if it had been any mere irregular affection of the stomach, it should naturally have intermitted occasionally, and constantly fluctuated as to degree. The intention of nature, as manifested in the healthy state, obviously is to withdraw from our notice all the vital motions, such as the circulation of the blood, the expansion and contraction70 of the lungs, the peristaltic action of the stomach, &c., and opium, it seems, is able in this, as in other instances, to counteract71 her purposes. By the advice of the surgeon I tried bitters. For a short time these greatly mitigated72 the feelings under which I laboured, but about the forty-second day of the experiment the symptoms already noticed began to retire, and new ones to arise of a different and far more tormenting73 class; under these, but with a few intervals75 of remission, I have since continued to suffer. But I dismiss them undescribed for two reasons: first, because the mind revolts from retracing76 circumstantially any sufferings from which it is removed by too short or by no interval74. To do this with minuteness enough to make the review of any use would be indeed infandum renovare dolorem, and possibly without a sufficient motive77; for secondly, I doubt whether this latter state be anyway referable to opium—positively considered, or even negatively; that is, whether it is to be numbered amongst the last evils from the direct action of opium, or even amongst the earliest evils consequent upon a want of opium in a system long deranged78 by its use. Certainly one part of the symptoms might be accounted for from the time of year (August), for though the summer was not a hot one, yet in any case the sum of all the heat funded (if one may say so) during the previous months, added to the existing heat of that month, naturally renders August in its better half the hottest part of the year; and it so happened that—the excessive perspiration79 which even at Christmas attends any great reduction in the daily quantum of opium—and which in July was so violent as to oblige me to use a bath five or six times a day—had about the setting-in of the hottest season wholly retired80, on which account any bad effect of the heat might be the more unmitigated. Another symptom—viz., what in my ignorance I call internal rheumatism81 (sometimes affecting the shoulders, &c., but more often appearing to be seated in the stomach)—seemed again less probably attributable to the opium, or the want of opium, than to the dampness of the house {21} which I inhabit, which had about this time attained82 its maximum, July having been, as usual, a month of incessant83 rain in our most rainy part of England.
Under these reasons for doubting whether opium had any connexion with the latter stage of my bodily wretchedness—except, indeed, as an occasional cause, as having left the body weaker and more crazy, and thus predisposed to any mal-influence whatever—I willingly spare my reader all description of it; let it perish to him, and would that I could as easily say let it perish to my own remembrances, that any future hours of tranquillity84 may not be disturbed by too vivid an ideal of possible human misery!
So much for the sequel of my experiment. As to the former stage, in which probably lies the experiment and its application to other cases, I must request my reader not to forget the reasons for which I have recorded it. These were two: First, a belief that I might add some trifle to the history of opium as a medical agent. In this I am aware that I have not at all fulfilled my own intentions, in consequence of the torpor86 of mind, pain of body, and extreme disgust to the subject which besieged87 me whilst writing that part of my paper; which part being immediately sent off to the press (distant about five degrees of latitude), cannot be corrected or improved. But from this account, rambling89 as it may be, it is evident that thus much of benefit may arise to the persons most interested in such a history of opium, viz., to opium-eaters in general, that it establishes, for their consolation90 and encouragement, the fact that opium may be renounced, and without greater sufferings than an ordinary resolution may support, and by a pretty rapid course {22} of descent.
To communicate this result of my experiment was my foremost purpose. Secondly, as a purpose collateral91 to this, I wished to explain how it had become impossible for me to compose a Third Part in time to accompany this republication; for during the time of this experiment the proof-sheets of this reprint were sent to me from London, and such was my inability to expand or to improve them, that I could not even bear to read them over with attention enough to notice the press errors or to correct any verbal inaccuracies. These were my reasons for troubling my reader with any record, long or short, of experiments relating to so truly base a subject as my own body; and I am earnest with the reader that he will not forget them, or so far misapprehend me as to believe it possible that I would condescend92 to so rascally93 a subject for its own sake, or indeed for any less object than that of general benefit to others. Such an animal as the self-observing valetudinarian94 I know there is; I have met him myself occasionally, and I know that he is the worst imaginable heautontimoroumenos; aggravating95 and sustaining, by calling into distinct consciousness, every symptom that would else perhaps, under a different direction given to the thoughts, become evanescent. But as to myself, so profound is my contempt for this undignified and selfish habit, that I could as little condescend to it as I could to spend my time in watching a poor servant girl, to whom at this moment I hear some lad or other making love at the back of my house. Is it for a Transcendental Philosopher to feel any curiosity on such an occasion? Or can I, whose life is worth only eight and a half years’ purchase, be supposed to have leisure for such trivial employments? However, to put this out of question, I shall say one thing, which will perhaps shock some readers, but I am sure it ought not to do so, considering the motives96 on which I say it. No man, I suppose, employs much of his time on the phenomena97 of his own body without some regard for it; whereas the reader sees that, so far from looking upon mine with any complacency or regard, I hate it, and make it the object of my bitter ridicule98 and contempt; and I should not be displeased99 to know that the last indignities100 which the law inflicts101 upon the bodies of the worst malefactors might hereafter fall upon it. And, in testification of my sincerity102 in saying this, I shall make the following offer. Like other men, I have particular fancies about the place of my burial; having lived chiefly in a mountainous region, I rather cleave103 to the conceit, that a grave in a green churchyard amongst the ancient and solitary104 hills will be a sublimer105 and more tranquil85 place of repose106 for a philosopher than any in the hideous Golgothas of London. Yet if the gentlemen of Surgeons’ Hall think that any benefit can redound107 to their science from inspecting the appearances in the body of an opium-eater, let them speak but a word, and I will take care that mine shall be legally secured to them—i.e., as soon as I have done with it myself. Let them not hesitate to express their wishes upon any scruples108 of false delicacy109 and consideration for my feelings; I assure them they will do me too much honour by “demonstrating” on such a crazy body as mine, and it will give me pleasure to anticipate this posthumous110 revenge and insult inflicted111 upon that which has caused me so much suffering in this life. Such bequests112 are not common; reversionary benefits contingent113 upon the death of the testator are indeed dangerous to announce in many cases: of this we have a remarkable instance in the habits of a Roman prince, who used, upon any notification made to him by rich persons that they had left him a handsome estate in their wills, to express his entire satisfaction at such arrangements and his gracious acceptance of those loyal legacies114; but then, if the testators neglected to give him immediate88 possession of the property, if they traitorously115 “persisted in living” (si vivere perseverarent, as Suetonius expresses it), he was highly provoked, and took his measures accordingly. In those times, and from one of the worst of the C?sars, we might expect such conduct; but I am sure that from English surgeons at this day I need look for no expressions of impatience, or of any other feelings but such as are answerable to that pure love of science and all its interests which induces me to make such an offer.
Sept 30, 1822
The End
The End
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1 perused | |
v.读(某篇文字)( peruse的过去式和过去分词 );(尤指)细阅;审阅;匆匆读或心不在焉地浏览(某篇文字) | |
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2 narrative | |
n.叙述,故事;adj.叙事的,故事体的 | |
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3 confessions | |
n.承认( confession的名词复数 );自首;声明;(向神父的)忏悔 | |
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4 proprietors | |
n.所有人,业主( proprietor的名词复数 ) | |
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5 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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6 implicated | |
adj.密切关联的;牵涉其中的 | |
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7 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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8 guilt | |
n.犯罪;内疚;过失,罪责 | |
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9 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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10 illuminated | |
adj.被照明的;受启迪的 | |
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11 binding | |
有约束力的,有效的,应遵守的 | |
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12 inverse | |
adj.相反的,倒转的,反转的;n.相反之物;v.倒转 | |
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13 scruple | |
n./v.顾忌,迟疑 | |
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14 breaches | |
破坏( breach的名词复数 ); 破裂; 缺口; 违背 | |
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15 peril | |
n.(严重的)危险;危险的事物 | |
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16 modesty | |
n.谦逊,虚心,端庄,稳重,羞怯,朴素 | |
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17 aggrieved | |
adj.愤愤不平的,受委屈的;悲痛的;(在合法权利方面)受侵害的v.令委屈,令苦恼,侵害( aggrieve的过去式);令委屈,令苦恼,侵害( aggrieve的过去式和过去分词) | |
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18 exertion | |
n.尽力,努力 | |
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19 genial | |
adj.亲切的,和蔼的,愉快的,脾气好的 | |
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20 opium | |
n.鸦片;adj.鸦片的 | |
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21 presumption | |
n.推测,可能性,冒昧,放肆,[法律]推定 | |
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22 recurrence | |
n.复发,反复,重现 | |
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23 cumbersome | |
adj.笨重的,不便携带的 | |
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24 renounce | |
v.放弃;拒绝承认,宣布与…断绝关系 | |
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25 renounced | |
v.声明放弃( renounce的过去式和过去分词 );宣布放弃;宣布与…决裂;宣布摒弃 | |
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26 deliberately | |
adv.审慎地;蓄意地;故意地 | |
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27 recording | |
n.录音,记录 | |
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28 secondly | |
adv.第二,其次 | |
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29 descended | |
a.为...后裔的,出身于...的 | |
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30 variance | |
n.矛盾,不同 | |
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31 callousness | |
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32 eminent | |
adj.显赫的,杰出的,有名的,优良的 | |
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33 forestalled | |
v.先发制人,预先阻止( forestall的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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34 abjure | |
v.发誓放弃 | |
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35 concurrence | |
n.同意;并发 | |
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36 previously | |
adv.以前,先前(地) | |
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37 flinch | |
v.畏缩,退缩 | |
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38 premise | |
n.前提;v.提论,预述 | |
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39 preludes | |
n.开端( prelude的名词复数 );序幕;序曲;短篇作品 | |
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40 plunged | |
v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 );暴跌;骤降;突降 | |
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41 misery | |
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
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42 conceit | |
n.自负,自高自大 | |
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43 persevered | |
v.坚忍,坚持( persevere的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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44 upwards | |
adv.向上,在更高处...以上 | |
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45 abstained | |
v.戒(尤指酒),戒除( abstain的过去式和过去分词 );弃权(不投票) | |
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46 irritability | |
n.易怒 | |
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47 vitality | |
n.活力,生命力,效力 | |
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48 agitated | |
adj.被鼓动的,不安的 | |
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49 jaw | |
n.颚,颌,说教,流言蜚语;v.喋喋不休,教训 | |
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50 swelling | |
n.肿胀 | |
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51 distressing | |
a.使人痛苦的 | |
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52 lasting | |
adj.永久的,永恒的;vbl.持续,维持 | |
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53 recurring | |
adj.往复的,再次发生的 | |
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54 recollecting | |
v.记起,想起( recollect的现在分词 ) | |
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55 membrane | |
n.薄膜,膜皮,羊皮纸 | |
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56 nostrils | |
鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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57 remarkable | |
adj.显著的,异常的,非凡的,值得注意的 | |
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58 influx | |
n.流入,注入 | |
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59 reign | |
n.统治时期,统治,支配,盛行;v.占优势 | |
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60 fable | |
n.寓言;童话;神话 | |
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61 thawed | |
解冻 | |
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62 impatience | |
n.不耐烦,急躁 | |
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63 hideous | |
adj.丑陋的,可憎的,可怕的,恐怖的 | |
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64 versus | |
prep.以…为对手,对;与…相比之下 | |
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65 briefly | |
adv.简单地,简短地 | |
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66 stimulus | |
n.刺激,刺激物,促进因素,引起兴奋的事物 | |
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67 digestion | |
n.消化,吸收 | |
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68 unnatural | |
adj.不自然的;反常的 | |
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69 plausible | |
adj.似真实的,似乎有理的,似乎可信的 | |
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70 contraction | |
n.缩略词,缩写式,害病 | |
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71 counteract | |
vt.对…起反作用,对抗,抵消 | |
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72 mitigated | |
v.减轻,缓和( mitigate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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73 tormenting | |
使痛苦的,使苦恼的 | |
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74 interval | |
n.间隔,间距;幕间休息,中场休息 | |
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75 intervals | |
n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 );间隔时间;[数学]区间;(戏剧、电影或音乐会的)幕间休息 | |
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76 retracing | |
v.折回( retrace的现在分词 );回忆;回顾;追溯 | |
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77 motive | |
n.动机,目的;adv.发动的,运动的 | |
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78 deranged | |
adj.疯狂的 | |
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79 perspiration | |
n.汗水;出汗 | |
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80 retired | |
adj.隐退的,退休的,退役的 | |
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81 rheumatism | |
n.风湿病 | |
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82 attained | |
(通常经过努力)实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 ); 达到; 获得; 达到(某年龄、水平、状况) | |
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83 incessant | |
adj.不停的,连续的 | |
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84 tranquillity | |
n. 平静, 安静 | |
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85 tranquil | |
adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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86 torpor | |
n.迟钝;麻木;(动物的)冬眠 | |
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87 besieged | |
包围,围困,围攻( besiege的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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88 immediate | |
adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的 | |
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89 rambling | |
adj.[建]凌乱的,杂乱的 | |
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90 consolation | |
n.安慰,慰问 | |
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91 collateral | |
adj.平行的;旁系的;n.担保品 | |
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92 condescend | |
v.俯就,屈尊;堕落,丢丑 | |
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93 rascally | |
adj. 无赖的,恶棍的 adv. 无赖地,卑鄙地 | |
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94 valetudinarian | |
n.病人;健康不佳者 | |
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95 aggravating | |
adj.恼人的,讨厌的 | |
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96 motives | |
n.动机,目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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97 phenomena | |
n.现象 | |
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98 ridicule | |
v.讥讽,挖苦;n.嘲弄 | |
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99 displeased | |
a.不快的 | |
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100 indignities | |
n.侮辱,轻蔑( indignity的名词复数 ) | |
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101 inflicts | |
把…强加给,使承受,遭受( inflict的第三人称单数 ) | |
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102 sincerity | |
n.真诚,诚意;真实 | |
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103 cleave | |
v.(clave;cleaved)粘着,粘住;坚持;依恋 | |
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104 solitary | |
adj.孤独的,独立的,荒凉的;n.隐士 | |
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105 sublimer | |
使高尚者,纯化器 | |
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106 repose | |
v.(使)休息;n.安息 | |
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107 redound | |
v.有助于;提;报应 | |
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108 scruples | |
n.良心上的不安( scruple的名词复数 );顾虑,顾忌v.感到于心不安,有顾忌( scruple的第三人称单数 ) | |
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109 delicacy | |
n.精致,细微,微妙,精良;美味,佳肴 | |
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110 posthumous | |
adj.遗腹的;父亡后出生的;死后的,身后的 | |
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111 inflicted | |
把…强加给,使承受,遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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112 bequests | |
n.遗赠( bequest的名词复数 );遗产,遗赠物 | |
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113 contingent | |
adj.视条件而定的;n.一组,代表团,分遣队 | |
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114 legacies | |
n.遗产( legacy的名词复数 );遗留之物;遗留问题;后遗症 | |
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115 traitorously | |
叛逆地,不忠地 | |
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