And then I fancy that the daily intimacy10 with the sick man moved her strangely. She raised his head to give him food, and it was heavy against her hand; when she had fed him she wiped his sensual mouth and his red beard. She washed his limbs; they were covered with thick hair; and when she dried his hands, even in his weakness they were strong and sinewy11. His fingers were long; they were the capable, fashioning fingers of the artist; and I know not what troubling thoughts they excited in her. He slept very quietly, without a movement, so that he might have been dead, and he was like some wild creature of the woods, resting after a long chase; and she wondered what fancies passed through his dreams. Did he dream of the nymph flying through the woods of Greece with the satyr in hot pursuit? She fled, swift of foot and desperate, but he gained on her step by step, till she felt his hot breath on her neck; and still she fled silently, and silently he pursued, and when at last he seized her was it terror that thrilled her heart or was it ecstasy12?
Blanche Stroeve was in the cruel grip of appetite. Perhaps she hated Strickland still, but she hungered for him, and everything that had made up her life till then became of no account. She ceased to be a woman, complex, kind and petulant13, considerate and thoughtless; she was a Maenad. She was desire.
But perhaps this is very fanciful; and it may be that she was merely bored with her husband and went to Strickland out of a callous14 curiosity. She may have had no particular feeling for him, but succumbed15 to his wish from propinquity or idleness, to find then that she was powerless in a snare16 of her own contriving17. How did I know what were the thoughts and emotions behind that placid18 brow and those cool gray eyes?
But if one could be certain of nothing in dealing19 with creatures so incalculable as human beings, there were explanations of Blanche Stroeve's behaviour which were at all events plausible20. On the other hand, I did not understand Strickland at all. I racked my brain, but could in no way account for an action so contrary to my conception of him. It was not strange that he should so heartlessly have betrayed his friends' confidence, nor that he hesitated not at all to gratify a whim21 at the cost of another's misery22. That was in his character. He was a man without any conception of gratitude23. He had no compassion24. The emotions common to most of us simply did not exist in him, and it was as absurd to blame him for not feeling them as for blaming the tiger because he is fierce and cruel. But it was the whim I could not understand.
I could not believe that Strickland had fallen in love with Blanche Stroeve. I did not believe him capable of love. That is an emotion in which tenderness is an essential part, but Strickland had no tenderness either for himself or for others; there is in love a sense of weakness, a desire to protect, an eagerness to do good and to give pleasure—if not unselfishness, at all events a selfishness which marvellously conceals25 itself; it has in it a certain diffidence. These were not traits which I could imagine in Strickland. Love is absorbing; it takes the lover out of himself; the most clear-sighted, though he may know, cannot realise that his love will cease; it gives body to what he knows is illusion, and, knowing it is nothing else, he loves it better than reality. It makes a man a little more than himself, and at the same time a little less. He ceases to be himself. He is no longer an individual, but a thing, an instrument to some purpose foreign to his ego26. Love is never quite devoid27 of sentimentality, and Strickland was the least inclined to that infirmity of any man I have known. I could not believe that he would ever suffer that possession of himself which love is; he could never endure a foreign yoke28. I believed him capable of uprooting29 from his heart, though it might be with agony, so that he was left battered30 and ensanguined, anything that came between himself and that uncomprehended craving31 that urged him constantly to he knew not what. If I have succeeded at all in giving the complicated impression that Strickland made on me, it will not seem outrageous32 to say that I felt he was at once too great and too small for love.
But I suppose that everyone's conception of the passion is formed on his own idiosyncrasies, and it is different with every different person. A man like Strickland would love in a manner peculiar33 to himself. It was vain to seek the analysis of his emotion.
点击收听单词发音
1 sufficiently | |
adv.足够地,充分地 | |
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2 caresses | |
爱抚,抚摸( caress的名词复数 ) | |
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3 amiable | |
adj.和蔼可亲的,友善的,亲切的 | |
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4 unravel | |
v.弄清楚(秘密);拆开,解开,松开 | |
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5 uncouth | |
adj.无教养的,粗鲁的 | |
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6 aloofness | |
超然态度 | |
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7 sinister | |
adj.不吉利的,凶恶的,左边的 | |
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8 affected | |
adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
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9 inevitable | |
adj.不可避免的,必然发生的 | |
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10 intimacy | |
n.熟悉,亲密,密切关系,亲昵的言行 | |
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11 sinewy | |
adj.多腱的,强壮有力的 | |
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12 ecstasy | |
n.狂喜,心醉神怡,入迷 | |
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13 petulant | |
adj.性急的,暴躁的 | |
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14 callous | |
adj.无情的,冷淡的,硬结的,起老茧的 | |
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15 succumbed | |
不再抵抗(诱惑、疾病、攻击等)( succumb的过去式和过去分词 ); 屈从; 被压垮; 死 | |
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16 snare | |
n.陷阱,诱惑,圈套;(去除息肉或者肿瘤的)勒除器;响弦,小军鼓;vt.以陷阱捕获,诱惑 | |
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17 contriving | |
(不顾困难地)促成某事( contrive的现在分词 ); 巧妙地策划,精巧地制造(如机器); 设法做到 | |
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18 placid | |
adj.安静的,平和的 | |
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19 dealing | |
n.经商方法,待人态度 | |
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20 plausible | |
adj.似真实的,似乎有理的,似乎可信的 | |
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21 whim | |
n.一时的兴致,突然的念头;奇想,幻想 | |
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22 misery | |
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
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23 gratitude | |
adj.感激,感谢 | |
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24 compassion | |
n.同情,怜悯 | |
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25 conceals | |
v.隐藏,隐瞒,遮住( conceal的第三人称单数 ) | |
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26 ego | |
n.自我,自己,自尊 | |
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27 devoid | |
adj.全无的,缺乏的 | |
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28 yoke | |
n.轭;支配;v.给...上轭,连接,使成配偶 | |
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29 uprooting | |
n.倒根,挖除伐根v.把(某物)连根拔起( uproot的现在分词 );根除;赶走;把…赶出家园 | |
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30 battered | |
adj.磨损的;v.连续猛击;磨损 | |
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31 craving | |
n.渴望,热望 | |
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32 outrageous | |
adj.无理的,令人不能容忍的 | |
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33 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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