Beauty and Mystery
I was myself haunted from a very early date by the sense of beauty and mystery, though not for many years could I give it a name; but I have found in my case that it originated as a rule in some minute effect of natural things. I have seen some of the wildest and most astounding10 natural prospects11 in Europe; I have climbed high rocky peaks and threaded mountain solitudes12, but some overshadowing of horror and awe13 has robbed emotion of its most intimate joy; and I have always found myself more thrilled by some tranquil14 vignette—the moon rising through a forest glade15, a red sunset between the boughs16 of pines, the crisping wave of some broken eddy17, the “green-dense and dim-delicious” depth of a woodland pool, the weathered gables[21] of an ancient manor18, an orchard19 white with the snows of spring—than I have ever been by the sight of the most solemn mountain-head or the furious breakers of some uncontrolled tide.
Two or three of these sacred sights I may venture to describe, taking them at random20 out of the treasure-house of memory; two belong to my schooldays. I was a pupil at a big suburban21 school; the house which we inhabited had once been the villa22 of a well-known statesman, and had large and dignified23 grounds, where with certain restrictions24, we were allowed to ramble25. They were bounded on one side by a high paling, inaccessible26 to small limbs, and a vague speculation27 as to what was behind the fence long dwelt with me. One day, however, I found that I could loose a portion of a broken paling, and looking through I saw a quiet place, the tail of a neglected shrubbery; the spot seemed quite unvisited; the laurels28 grew thickly about, and tall elms gave an austere29 gloom to the little glade; the ground was pathless, and thickly overgrown with periwinkles, but in the centre were three tiny grave-mounds, the graves, I have since reflected, of dogs, but which I at the time[22] supposed to be the graves of children. I gazed with a singular sense of mystery, and strange dream-pictures rose instinctively30 in my mind, weaving themselves over the solitary and romantic spot. It is strange how often in dreams and gentle reveries I have visited the place.
The next is a later vision. Near the public school where I was educated lay a forest to which we had free admittance. I found that by hard walking it was just possible to reach a wooded hill which was a conspicuous32 feature of the distant landscape, but the time at my disposal between two school engagements never sufficed to penetrate33 farther. From the top of this hill it was possible to get a view of a large tract34 of forest ground, an open grassy35 glade, with large trees of towering greenness standing36 sentinel on either side; the bracken grew luxuriantly in places, and at the end of the glade was a glint of water in the horn of some forest pool. This place was to me a veritable “magic casement”; beyond lay the enchanted land into which I could not penetrate, the blue hills on the horizon seen over the tree-tops. I never dreamt of them as inhabited by human beings like myself, but as[23] some airy region, with leagues of dreaming woods and silent forest spaces. At times a deer would slowly cross the open vale, and stand to sniff37 the breeze; the very cooing of the doves in their leafy fastnesses had a richer and drowsier38 sound.
But the home of incommunicable dreams, beyond all others, is to me a certain mill—Grately Mill—that is not many miles from my present home. My mother had an old aunt who lived in a pleasant house in the neighbourhood, and we used to go there when I was a child to spend a few weeks of the early summer.
A little vague lane led to it: a lane that came from nowhere in particular, and took you nowhere; meandering39 humbly40 among the pastures wherever it was convenient to them to permit it, like a fainthearted Christian41. Hard by was a tall, high-shouldered, gabled farm of red brick, with a bell perched on the roof in a white pavilion of its own. Down the lane on hot summer days we used to walk—my mother and I: my mother whom I revered43 as a person of unapproachable age and dim experience, though she had been in the schoolroom herself but a year or two before my[24] birth; I trotting44 by her side with a little fishing-rod in a grey holland case, to fish for perch42 in the old pond at the Hall.
The lane grew sandier and damper: a rivulet45 clucked in the ditch, half-hidden in ragged-robin with its tattered46 finery, and bright varnished47 ranunculus; the rivulet was a mysterious place enough ever since the day when we found it full of waving clusters of strange dark creatures, more eel48 than fish, which had all appeared with miraculous49 unanimity50 in a single night—lamperns, the village naturalist51 called them, and told us that in ancient days they were a delicacy52; while I, in my childish mind, at once knew that it was this which had gone to the composition of that inexplicable53 dish, a surfeit54 of lampreys, as the history had it, of which some greedy monarch56 died.
Once, too, a bright-coloured eel had been seen at a certain point, who had only just eluded57 the grasp of hot little fingers. How many times I looked for master eel, expecting to meet him at the same place, and was careful to carry a delightful58 tin box in my pocket, in which he might travel home in my pocket, and live an honoured life in a basin in the night nursery. Poor eel! I am glad now that[25] he escaped, but then he was only a great opportunity missed—an irreparable regret.
Grately Mill
Then the poor lane, which had been getting more like a water-course every moment, no longer made any pretence59, and disappeared into a shallow sheet of clear water—the mill at last! The scene, as I remember it, had a magical charm. On the left, by the side of the lane, rose a crazy footpath60 of boards and posts with a wooden handrail, and a sluice61 or two below. Beyond, the deep mill-pool slept, dark and still, all fringed with trees. On the right the stream flowed off among the meadows, disappearing into an arch of greenery; in summer the banks and islets were all overgrown with tall rich plants, comfrey, figwort, water-dock. The graceful62 willow-herb hung its pink horns; the loosestrife rose in sturdier velvet63 spires64. On the bank stood the shuttered, humming mill, the water-wheel splashing and thundering, like a prisoned giant, in a penthouse of its own. It was a fearful joy to look in and see it rise dripping, huge and black, with the fresh smell of the river water all about it. All the mill was powdered with the dust of grain; the air inside was full of floating specks65; the hoppers rattled66, and the[26] gear grumbled67 in the roof, while the flour streamed merrily into the open sack. The miller68, a grave preoccupied69 man, all dusted over, like a plum, with a thin bloom of flour, gave us a grave nod of greeting, which seemed to make us free of the place. I dare say he was a shy mild man, with but little of the small change of the mind at his disposal; but he seemed to me then an austere and statesmanlike person, full to the brim of grave affairs. Beyond the mill, a lane of a more determined70 character led through arches of elms to the common. And now, on secular71 days, the interests of the chase took precedence of all else; but there were Sundays in the summer when we walked to attend Grately Church. It seems to me at this lapse72 of time to have been almost impossibly antique. Ancient yews73 stood by it, and it had a white boarded spire3 with a cracked bell. Inside, the single aisleless nave74, with ancient oak pews, was much encumbered75 in one place by a huge hand-organ, with a forest of gold pipes, turned by a wizened76 man, who opened a little door in the side and inserted his hand at intervals77 to set the tune78. The clergyman, an aged79 gentleman, wore what was, I suppose,[27] a dark wig80, though at the time I imagined it to be merely an agreeable variety on ordinary hair; another pleasant habit he had of slightly smacking82 his lips, at every little pause, as he read, which gave an air of indescribable gusto to the service:—“Moab—tut—is my washpot—tut—; over Edom—tut—will I cast out my shoe—tut—; upon Philistia—tut—will I triumph.”
Grately Church
In the vestry of the church reposed83 a curious relic84—a pyx, I believe, is the correct name. It was a gilded85 metal chalice86 with a top, into which, if my memory serves me, were screwed little soldiers to guard the sacred body; these were loose, and how I coveted87 them! In the case were certain spikes88 and branches of crystal, the broken remains89, I believe, of a spreading crystal tree which once adorned90 the top. How far my memory serves me I know not, but I am sure that the relic which may still survive, is a most interesting thing; and I can recollect91 that when a high dignitary of the Church stayed with us, it was kindly92 brought over by the clergyman for his inspection93, and his surprise was very great.
The Hall lay back from the common, sheltered by great trees. The house itself, a low[28] white building, was on those summer days cool and fragrant94. The feature of the place was the great fish-ponds—one lay outside the shrubbery; but another, formerly95 I believe a monastic stew-pond, was a long rectangle just outside the windows of the drawing-room, and only separated from it by a gravel96 walk: along part of it ran an ancient red-brick wall. This was our favourite fishing-place; but above it, brooded over by huge chestnuts97, lay a deeper and stiller pond, half covered with water-lilies—too sacred and awful a place to be fished in or even visited alone.
Upon the fishing hours I do not love to dwell; I would only say that of such cruelties as attended it I was entirely innocent. I am sure that I never thought of a perch as other than a delightful mechanical thing, who had no grave objection to being hauled up gasping98, with his black stripes gleaming, and prickling his red fins99, to be presently despatched, and carried home stiff and cold in a little basket.
The tea under the tall trees of the lawn; the admiring inspection of our prey55; the stuffed dog in the hall with his foot upon a cricket-ball—all these are part of the dream-pictures;[29] and the whole is invested for me with the purpureal gleams of childhood.
Grately Thirty Years After
The other day I found myself on a bicycle near enough to Grately to make it possible to go there; into the Hall grounds I did not venture, but I struck across the common and went down the lane to the mill. I was almost ashamed of the agitation100 I felt, but the sight of the common, never visited for nearly thirty years, induced a singular physical distress101. It was not that everything had grown smaller, even changed the places that they occupy in my mental picture, but a sort of homesickness seemed to draw tight bands across my heart. What does it mean, this intense local attachment102, for us flimsy creatures, snapped at a touch, and with so brief a pilgrimage? A strange thought! The very intensity103 and depth of the feeling seems to confer on it a right to permanence.
The lane came abruptly104 to an end by the side of a commonplace, straight-banked, country brook105. There were no trees, no water-plants; the road did not dip to the stream, and in front of me lay a yellow brick bridge, with grim iron lattices. Alas106! I had mistaken the turn, and must retrace107 my steps.[30] But stay! what was that squat108 white house by the waterside? It was indeed the old mill, with its boarded projections109 swept away, its barns gone, its garden walled with a neat wall. The old high-timbered bridge was down; some generous landlord had gone to great expense, and Grately had a good convenient road, a sensible bridge, and an up-to-date mill. Probably there was not a single person in the parish who did not confess to an improvement.
But who will give me back the tall trees and the silent pool? Who will restore the ancient charm, the delicate mysteries, the gracious dignity of the place? Is beauty a mere81 trick of grouping, the irradiation of a golden mood, a chance congeries of water and high trees and sunlight? If beauty be industriously110 hunted from one place by ruthless hands, does she spread her wings and fly? Is the restless, ceaseless effort of nature to restore beauty to the dismal111 messes made by man, simply broken off and made vain? Or has she leisure to work harder yet in unvisited places, patiently enduring the grasp of the spoiling hand?
It was with something like a sob112 that I[31] turned away. But of one thing no one can rob me, and that is the picture of Grately Mill, glorified113 indeed by the patient worship of years, which is locked into some portfolio114 of the mind, and can be unspread in a moment before the gazing eye.
Egeria
And for one thing I can be grateful—that the still spirit of sweet and secret places, that wayward nymph who comes and goes, with the wind in her hair and the gleam of deep water in her eyes—she to whom we give many a clumsy name—that she first beckoned115 to me and spoke116 words in my ear beneath the high elms of Grately Mill. Many times have we met and spoken in secret since, my Egeria and I; many times has she touched my shoulder, and whispered a magic charm. That presence has been often withdrawn117 from me; but I have but to recall the bridge, the water-plants, the humming mill, the sunlight on the sandy shallows, to feel her hand in mine again.
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1
darts
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| n.掷飞镖游戏；飞镖( dart的名词复数 )；急驰，飞奔v.投掷，投射( dart的第三人称单数 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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spire
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| n.(教堂)尖顶，尖塔，高点 | |
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scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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derived
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| vi.起源；由来；衍生；导出v.得到( derive的过去式和过去分词 )；（从…中）得到获得；源于；（从…中）提取 | |
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majestic
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| adj.雄伟的，壮丽的，庄严的，威严的，崇高的 | |
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homely
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| adj.家常的，简朴的；不漂亮的 | |
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astounding
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| adj.使人震惊的vt.使震惊，使大吃一惊astound的现在分词) | |
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prospects
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| n.希望，前途(恒为复数) | |
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solitudes
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| n.独居( solitude的名词复数 )；孤独；荒僻的地方；人迹罕至的地方 | |
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awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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tranquil
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| adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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glade
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| n.林间空地，一片表面有草的沼泽低地 | |
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boughs
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| 大树枝( bough的名词复数 ) | |
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eddy
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| n.漩涡，涡流 | |
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manor
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| n.庄园，领地 | |
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orchard
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| n.果园，果园里的全部果树，(美俚)棒球场 | |
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random
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| adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
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suburban
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| adj.城郊的，在郊区的 | |
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villa
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| n.别墅，城郊小屋 | |
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dignified
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| a.可敬的，高贵的 | |
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restrictions
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| 约束( restriction的名词复数 )； 管制； 制约因素； 带限制性的条件（或规则） | |
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ramble
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| v.漫步，漫谈，漫游；n.漫步，闲谈，蔓延 | |
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inaccessible
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| adj.达不到的，难接近的 | |
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speculation
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| n.思索，沉思；猜测；投机 | |
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laurels
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| n.桂冠，荣誉 | |
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austere
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| adj.艰苦的；朴素的，朴实无华的；严峻的 | |
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instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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enchanted
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| adj. 被施魔法的，陶醉的，入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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conspicuous
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| adj.明眼的，惹人注目的；炫耀的，摆阔气的 | |
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penetrate
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| v.透(渗)入；刺入，刺穿；洞察，了解 | |
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tract
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| n.传单，小册子，大片(土地或森林) | |
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grassy
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| adj.盖满草的；长满草的 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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sniff
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| vi.嗅…味道；抽鼻涕；对嗤之以鼻，蔑视 | |
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drowsier
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| adj.欲睡的，半睡的，使人昏昏欲睡的( drowsy的比较级 ) | |
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meandering
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| 蜿蜒的河流，漫步，聊天 | |
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humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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perch
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| n.栖木，高位，杆；v.栖息，就位，位于 | |
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revered
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| v.崇敬，尊崇，敬畏( revere的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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44
trotting
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| 小跑，急走( trot的现在分词 )； 匆匆忙忙地走 | |
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45
rivulet
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| n.小溪，小河 | |
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tattered
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| adj.破旧的，衣衫破的 | |
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varnished
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| 浸渍过的，涂漆的 | |
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eel
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| n.鳗鲡 | |
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miraculous
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| adj.像奇迹一样的，不可思议的 | |
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50
unanimity
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| n.全体一致，一致同意 | |
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51
naturalist
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| n.博物学家(尤指直接观察动植物者) | |
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52
delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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53
inexplicable
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| adj.无法解释的，难理解的 | |
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54
surfeit
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| v.使饮食过度；n.(食物)过量，过度 | |
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prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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monarch
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| n.帝王，君主，最高统治者 | |
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57
eluded
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| v.（尤指机敏地）避开( elude的过去式和过去分词 )；逃避；躲避；使达不到 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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footpath
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| n.小路，人行道 | |
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sluice
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| n.水闸 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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spires
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| n.（教堂的） 塔尖，尖顶( spire的名词复数 ) | |
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specks
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| n.眼镜；斑点，微粒，污点( speck的名词复数 ) | |
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rattled
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| 慌乱的，恼火的 | |
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grumbled
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| 抱怨( grumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 发牢骚； 咕哝； 发哼声 | |
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miller
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| n.磨坊主 | |
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preoccupied
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| adj.全神贯注的，入神的；被抢先占有的；心事重重的v.占据（某人）思想，使对…全神贯注，使专心于( preoccupy的过去式) | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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secular
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| n.牧师，凡人；adj.世俗的，现世的，不朽的 | |
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lapse
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| n.过失，流逝，失效，抛弃信仰，间隔；vi.堕落，停止，失效，流逝；vt.使失效 | |
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yews
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| n.紫杉( yew的名词复数 ) | |
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nave
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| n.教堂的中部；本堂 | |
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encumbered
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| v.妨碍，阻碍，拖累( encumber的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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wizened
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| adj.凋谢的；枯槁的 | |
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intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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tune
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| n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整 | |
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aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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wig
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| n.假发 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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smacking
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| 活泼的，发出响声的，精力充沛的 | |
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reposed
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| v.将（手臂等）靠在某人（某物）上( repose的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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relic
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| n.神圣的遗物，遗迹，纪念物 | |
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gilded
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| a.镀金的，富有的 | |
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chalice
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| n.圣餐杯；金杯毒酒 | |
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coveted
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| adj.令人垂涎的；垂涎的，梦寐以求的v.贪求，觊觎(covet的过去分词)；垂涎；贪图 | |
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spikes
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| n.穗( spike的名词复数 )；跑鞋；（防滑）鞋钉；尖状物v.加烈酒于( spike的第三人称单数 )；偷偷地给某人的饮料加入（更多）酒精（ 或药物）；把尖状物钉入；打乱某人的计划 | |
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remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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adorned
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| [计]被修饰的 | |
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recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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inspection
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| n.检查，审查，检阅 | |
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fragrant
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| adj.芬香的，馥郁的，愉快的 | |
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formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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gravel
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| n.砂跞；砂砾层；结石 | |
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chestnuts
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| n.栗子( chestnut的名词复数 )；栗色；栗树；栗色马 | |
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gasping
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| adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
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fins
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| [医]散热片；鱼鳍；飞边；鸭掌 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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intensity
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| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
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abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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brook
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| n.小河，溪；v.忍受，容让 | |
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alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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retrace
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| v.折回；追溯，探源 | |
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108
squat
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| v.蹲坐，蹲下；n.蹲下；adj.矮胖的，粗矮的 | |
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projections
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| 预测( projection的名词复数 )； 投影； 投掷； 突起物 | |
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industriously
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dismal
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| adj.阴沉的，凄凉的，令人忧郁的，差劲的 | |
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sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣 | |
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glorified
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| 美其名的，变荣耀的 | |
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portfolio
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| n.公事包；文件夹；大臣及部长职位 | |
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115
beckoned
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| v.（用头或手的动作）示意，召唤( beckon的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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116
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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withdrawn
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| vt.收回；使退出；vi.撤退，退出 | |
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