Is it not the experience of every one that at rare intervals1, by some happy accident, life presents one with a sudden and delicious thrill of beauty? I have often tried to analyse the constituent2 elements of these moments, but the essence is subtle and defies detection. They cannot be calculated upon, or produced by any amount of volition3 or previous preparation. One thing about these tiny ecstasies4 I have noticed—they do not come as a rule when one is tranquil5, healthy, serene—they rather come as a compensation for weariness and discontent; and yet they are the purest gold of life, and a good deal of sand is well worth washing for a pellet or two of the real metal.
To-day I was more than usually impatient; over me all the week had hung the shadow of some trying, difficult business—the sort of business which, whatever you do, will be done to nobody’s satisfaction. After a vain attempt to wrestle6 with it, I gave it up, and went[189] out on a bicycle; the wind blew gently and steadily7 this soft June day; all the blue sky was filled with large white clouds, blackening to rain. I made for the one piece of flat ground in our neighbourhood. It is tranquillising, I have often found, to the dweller8 in a hilly land, to cool and sober the eye occasionally with the pure breadths of a level plain. The grass was thick and heavy-headed in the fields, but of mere9 wantonness I turned down a lane which I know has no ending,—a mere relief-road for carts to have access to a farm,—and soon came to the end of it in a small grassy10 circle, with a cottage or two, where a footpath11 strikes off across the fields.
Heretofore Unvisited
Why did I never come here before, I thought. Through a gap in the hedge I saw a large broad pasture, fringed in the far distance with full-foliaged, rotund elms in thick leaf; a row of willows12 on the horizon marked the track of a stream. In the pasture in front of me was a broad oblong pool of water with water-lilies; down one side ran a row of huge horse-chestnuts, and the end was rich in elders full of flat white cakes of blossom. In the field grazed an old horse; while a pigeon sailed lazily down from the trees and ran to the pool[190] to drink. That was all there was to see. But it brought me with a deep and inexplicable13 thrill close to the heart of the old, kindly14, patient Earth, the mother and the mistress and the servant of all—she who allows us to tear and rend15 her for our own paltry16 ends, and then sets, how sweetly and tranquilly17, to work, with what a sense of inexhaustible leisure, to paint and mellow18 and adorn19 the rude and bleeding gaps. We tear up a copse, and she fills the ugly scars in the spring with a crop of fresh flowers—of flowers, perhaps, which are not seen in the neighbourhood, but whose seeds have lain vital and moist in the ground, but too deep to know the impulse born of the spring sun. Yet now they burst their armoured mail, and send a thin, white, worm-like arm to the top, which, as soon as it passes into the light, drinks from the rays the green flush that it chooses to hide its nakedness. We dig a pool in the crumbling20 marl. At the time the wound seems irreparable; the ugly, slobbered banks grin at us like death; the ground is full of footprints and slime, broken roots and bedabbled leaves,—and next year it is all a paradise of green and luscious21 water-plants, with a hundred quiet lives being lived[191] there, of snail22 and worm and beetle23, as though the place had never been disturbed. We build a raw red house with an insupportably geometrical outline, the hue24 of the vicious fire still in the bricks; pass fifty years, and the bricks are mellow and soft, plastered with orange rosettes or grey filaments25 of lichen26; the ugly window frames are blistered27 and warped28; the roof has taken a soft and yielding outline—all is in peace and harmony with the green world in which it sits.
I never saw this more beautifully illustrated30 than once, when a great house in Whitehall was destroyed, and heaped up in a hideous31 rockery of bricks. All through the winter these raw ruins, partly concealed33 by a rough hoarding34, tainted35 the view; but as soon as spring returned, from every inch of grit36 rose a forest of green stalks of willow-herb, each in summer to be crowned with a spire37 of fantastic crimson38 flowers, and to pass a little later into those graceful39, ghostly husks that shiver in the wind. Centuries must have passed since willow-herb had grown on that spot. Had they laid dormant40, these hopeful seeds, or had they been wafted41 along dusty streets and high in air over sun-scorched spaces? Nature at all[192] events had seen her chance, and done her work patiently and wisely as ever.
But to return to my lane-end. How strange and deep are the impressions of a deep and inviolate42 peace that some quiet corner like this gives to the restless spirit! It can never be so with the scenes that have grown familiar, where we have carried about with us the burden of private cares—the symptoms of the disease of life. In any house where we have lived, every corner, however peaceful and beautiful in itself, is bound to be gradually soaked, as it were, in the miseries43 of life, to conceal32 its beauties under the accretion44 of sordid45 associations.
This room we connect with some sad misunderstanding. There we gave way to some petty passion of resentment46, of jealousy47, of irritation48, or vainly tried to pacify49 some similar outbreak from one we loved. This is the torture of imagination; to feel the beauty of sight and sound, we must be sensitive; and if we are sensitive, we carry about the shadow with us—the capacity for self-torment, the struggle of the ideal with the passing mood.
Sad Associations
I have sometimes climbed to the top of a hill and looked into some unknown and placid[193] valley, with field and wood and rivulet50 and the homes of men. I have seen the figures of men and oxen move sedately51 about those quiet fields. Often, too, gliding52 at evening in a train through a pastoral country when the setting sun bathes all things in genial53 light and contented54 shade, I have felt the same thought. “How peaceful, how simple life would be, nay55, must be, here.” Only very gradually, as life goes on, does it dawn upon the soul that the trouble lies deeper, and that though surrounded by the most unimagined peace, the same fret56, the same beating of restless wings, the same delays attend. That dreamt-of peace can hardly be attained57. The most we can do is to enjoy it to the utmost when it is with us; and when it takes its flight, and leaves us dumb, discontented, peevish58, to quench59 the sordid thought in resolute60 silence, to curb61 the grating mood, to battle mutely with the cowering62 fear; and so to escape investing the house and the garden that we love with the poisonous and bitter associations that strike the beauty out of the fairest scene.
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1 intervals | |
n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 );间隔时间;[数学]区间;(戏剧、电影或音乐会的)幕间休息 | |
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2 constituent | |
n.选民;成分,组分;adj.组成的,构成的 | |
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3 volition | |
n.意志;决意 | |
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4 ecstasies | |
狂喜( ecstasy的名词复数 ); 出神; 入迷; 迷幻药 | |
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5 tranquil | |
adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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6 wrestle | |
vi.摔跤,角力;搏斗;全力对付 | |
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7 steadily | |
adv.稳定地;不变地;持续地 | |
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8 dweller | |
n.居住者,住客 | |
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9 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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10 grassy | |
adj.盖满草的;长满草的 | |
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11 footpath | |
n.小路,人行道 | |
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12 willows | |
n.柳树( willow的名词复数 );柳木 | |
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13 inexplicable | |
adj.无法解释的,难理解的 | |
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14 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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15 rend | |
vt.把…撕开,割裂;把…揪下来,强行夺取 | |
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16 paltry | |
adj.无价值的,微不足道的 | |
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17 tranquilly | |
adv. 宁静地 | |
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18 mellow | |
adj.柔和的;熟透的;v.变柔和;(使)成熟 | |
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19 adorn | |
vt.使美化,装饰 | |
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20 crumbling | |
adj.摇摇欲坠的 | |
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21 luscious | |
adj.美味的;芬芳的;肉感的,引与性欲的 | |
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22 snail | |
n.蜗牛 | |
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23 beetle | |
n.甲虫,近视眼的人 | |
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24 hue | |
n.色度;色调;样子 | |
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25 filaments | |
n.(电灯泡的)灯丝( filament的名词复数 );丝极;细丝;丝状物 | |
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26 lichen | |
n.地衣, 青苔 | |
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27 blistered | |
adj.水疮状的,泡状的v.(使)起水泡( blister的过去式和过去分词 );(使表皮等)涨破,爆裂 | |
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28 warped | |
adj.反常的;乖戾的;(变)弯曲的;变形的v.弄弯,变歪( warp的过去式和过去分词 );使(行为等)不合情理,使乖戾, | |
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29 breach | |
n.违反,不履行;破裂;vt.冲破,攻破 | |
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30 illustrated | |
adj. 有插图的,列举的 动词illustrate的过去式和过去分词 | |
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31 hideous | |
adj.丑陋的,可憎的,可怕的,恐怖的 | |
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32 conceal | |
v.隐藏,隐瞒,隐蔽 | |
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33 concealed | |
a.隐藏的,隐蔽的 | |
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34 hoarding | |
n.贮藏;积蓄;临时围墙;囤积v.积蓄并储藏(某物)( hoard的现在分词 ) | |
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35 tainted | |
adj.腐坏的;污染的;沾污的;感染的v.使变质( taint的过去式和过去分词 );使污染;败坏;被污染,腐坏,败坏 | |
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36 grit | |
n.沙粒,决心,勇气;v.下定决心,咬紧牙关 | |
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37 spire | |
n.(教堂)尖顶,尖塔,高点 | |
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38 crimson | |
n./adj.深(绯)红色(的);vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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39 graceful | |
adj.优美的,优雅的;得体的 | |
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40 dormant | |
adj.暂停活动的;休眠的;潜伏的 | |
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41 wafted | |
v.吹送,飘送,(使)浮动( waft的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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42 inviolate | |
adj.未亵渎的,未受侵犯的 | |
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43 miseries | |
n.痛苦( misery的名词复数 );痛苦的事;穷困;常发牢骚的人 | |
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44 accretion | |
n.自然的增长,增加物 | |
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45 sordid | |
adj.肮脏的,不干净的,卑鄙的,暗淡的 | |
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46 resentment | |
n.怨愤,忿恨 | |
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47 jealousy | |
n.妒忌,嫉妒,猜忌 | |
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48 irritation | |
n.激怒,恼怒,生气 | |
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49 pacify | |
vt.使(某人)平静(或息怒);抚慰 | |
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50 rivulet | |
n.小溪,小河 | |
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51 sedately | |
adv.镇静地,安详地 | |
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52 gliding | |
v. 滑翔 adj. 滑动的 | |
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53 genial | |
adj.亲切的,和蔼的,愉快的,脾气好的 | |
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54 contented | |
adj.满意的,安心的,知足的 | |
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55 nay | |
adv.不;n.反对票,投反对票者 | |
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56 fret | |
v.(使)烦恼;(使)焦急;(使)腐蚀,(使)磨损 | |
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57 attained | |
(通常经过努力)实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 ); 达到; 获得; 达到(某年龄、水平、状况) | |
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58 peevish | |
adj.易怒的,坏脾气的 | |
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59 quench | |
vt.熄灭,扑灭;压制 | |
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60 resolute | |
adj.坚决的,果敢的 | |
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61 curb | |
n.场外证券市场,场外交易;vt.制止,抑制 | |
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62 cowering | |
v.畏缩,抖缩( cower的现在分词 ) | |
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