Immersed in meditation2, I was sitting behind some dusty boxes in the storeroom of the Ranchi school. A private spot was difficult to find during those busy years with the youngsters!
The vision continued; a vast multitude, 37-1 gazing at me intently, swept actorlike across the stage of consciousness.
The storeroom door opened; as usual, one of the young lads had discovered my hiding place.
"To America?" The boy echoed my words in a tone that implied I had said "to the moon."
"Yes! I am going forth5 to discover America, like Columbus. He thought he had found India; surely there is a karmic link between those two lands!"
Bimal scampered6 away; soon the whole school was informed by the two- legged newspaper. 37-2 I summoned the bewildered faculty7 and gave the school into its charge.
"I know you will keep Lahiri Mahasaya's yoga ideals of education ever to the fore," I said. "I shall write you frequently; God willing, someday I shall be back."
Tears stood in my eyes as I cast a last look at the little boys and the sunny acres of Ranchi. A definite epoch8 in my life had now closed, I knew; henceforth I would dwell in far lands. I entrained for Calcutta a few hours after my vision. The following day I received an invitation to serve as the delegate from India to an International Congress of Religious Liberals in America. It was to convene9 that year in Boston, under the auspices10 of the American Unitarian Association.
My head in a whirl, I sought out Sri Yukteswar in Serampore.
"Guruji, I have just been invited to address a religious congress in America. Shall I go?"
"All doors are open for you," Master replied simply. "It is now or never."
"But, sir," I said in dismay, "what do I know about public speaking? Seldom have I given a lecture, and never in English."
"English or no English, your words on yoga shall be heard in the West."
I laughed. "Well, dear guruji, I hardly think the Americans will learn Bengali! Please bless me with a push over the hurdles11 of the English language." 37-3
When I broke the news of my plans to Father, he was utterly12 taken aback. To him America seemed incredibly remote; he feared he might never see me again.
"How can you go?" he asked sternly. "Who will finance you?" As he had affectionately borne the expenses of my education and whole life, he doubtless hoped that his question would bring my project to an embarrassing halt.
"The Lord will surely finance me." As I made this reply, I thought of the similar one I had given long ago to my brother Ananta in Agra. Without very much guile13, I added, "Father, perhaps God will put it into your mind to help me."
"No, never!" He glanced at me piteously.
I was astounded14, therefore, when Father handed me, the following day, a check made out for a large amount.
"I give you this money," he said, "not in my capacity as a father, but as a faithful disciple15 of Lahiri Mahasaya. Go then to that far Western land; spread there the creedless teachings of Kriya Yoga."
I was immensely touched at the selfless spirit in which Father had been able to quickly put aside his personal desires. The just realization16 had come to him during the preceding night that no ordinary desire for foreign travel was motivating my voyage.
"Perhaps we shall not meet again in this life." Father, who was sixty- seven at this time, spoke17 sadly.
An intuitive conviction prompted me to reply, "Surely the Lord will bring us together once more."
As I went about my preparations to leave Master and my native land for the unknown shores of America, I experienced not a little trepidation18. I had heard many stories about the materialistic19 Western atmosphere, one very different from the spiritual background of India, pervaded20 with the centuried aura of saints. "An Oriental teacher who will dare the Western airs," I thought, "must be hardy21 beyond the trials of any Himalayan cold!"
One early morning I began to pray, with an adamant22 determination to continue, to even die praying, until I heard the voice of God. I wanted His blessing23 and assurance that I would not lose myself in the fogs of modern utilitarianism. My heart was set to go to America, but even more strongly was it resolved to hear the solace24 of divine permission.
I prayed and prayed, muffling25 my sobs26. No answer came. My silent petition increased in excruciating crescendo27 until, at noon, I had reached a zenith; my brain could no longer withstand the pressure of my agonies. If I cried once more with an increased depth of my inner passion, I felt as though my brain would split. At that moment there came a knock outside the vestibule adjoining the Gurpar Road room in which I was sitting. Opening the door, I saw a young man in the scanty28 garb29 of a renunciate. He came in, closed the door behind him and, refusing my request to sit down, indicated with a gesture that he wished to talk to me while standing30.
"He must be Babaji!" I thought, dazed, because the man before me had the features of a younger Lahiri Mahasaya.
He answered my thought. "Yes, I am Babaji." He spoke melodiously31 in Hindi. "Our Heavenly Father has heard your prayer. He commands me to tell you: Follow the behests of your guru and go to America. Fear not; you will be protected."
After a vibrant32 pause, Babaji addressed me again. "You are the one I have chosen to spread the message of Kriya Yoga in the West. Long ago I met your guru Yukteswar at a Kumbha Mela; I told him then I would send you to him for training."
I was speechless, choked with devotional awe33 at his presence, and deeply touched to hear from his own lips that he had guided me to Sri Yukteswar. I lay prostrate34 before the deathless guru. He graciously lifted me from the floor. Telling me many things about my life, he then gave me some personal instruction, and uttered a few secret prophecies.
"Kriya Yoga, the scientific technique of God-realization," he finally said with solemnity, "will ultimately spread in all lands, and aid in harmonizing the nations through man's personal, transcendental perception of the Infinite Father."
With a gaze of majestic35 power, the master electrified36 me by a glimpse of his cosmic consciousness. In a short while he started toward the door.
"Do not try to follow me," he said. "You will not be able to do so."
"Please, Babaji, don't go away!" I cried repeatedly. "Take me with you!"
Looking back, he replied, "Not now. Some other time."
Overcome by emotion, I disregarded his warning. As I tried to pursue him, I discovered that my feet were firmly rooted to the floor. From the door, Babaji gave me a last affectionate glance. He raised his hand by way of benediction37 and walked away, my eyes fixed38 on him longingly39.
After a few minutes my feet were free. I sat down and went into a deep meditation, unceasingly thanking God not only for answering my prayer but for blessing me by a meeting with Babaji. My whole body seemed sanctified through the touch of the ancient, ever-youthful master. Long had it been my burning desire to behold40 him.
Until now, I have never recounted to anyone this story of my meeting with Babaji. Holding it as the most sacred of my human experiences, I have hidden it in my heart. But the thought occurred to me that readers of this autobiography41 may be more inclined to believe in the reality of the secluded42 Babaji and his world interests if I relate that I saw him with my own eyes. I have helped an artist to draw a true picture of the great Yogi-Christ of modern India; it appears in this book.
The eve of my departure for the United States found me in Sri Yukteswar's holy presence.
"Forget you were born a Hindu, and don't be an American. Take the best of them both," Master said in his calm way of wisdom. "Be your true self, a child of God. Seek and incorporate into your being the best qualities of all your brothers, scattered43 over the earth in various races."
Then he blessed me: "All those who come to you with faith, seeking God, will be helped. As you look at them, the spiritual current emanating44 from your eyes will enter into their brains and change their material habits, making them more God-conscious."
He went on, "Your lot to attract sincere souls is very good. Everywhere you go, even in a wilderness45, you will find friends."
Both of his blessings46 have been amply demonstrated. I came alone to America, into a wilderness without a single friend, but there I found thousands ready to receive the time-tested soul-teachings.
I left India in August, 1920, on The City Of Sparta, the first passenger boat sailing for America after the close of World War I. I had been able to book passage only after the removal, in ways fairly miraculous47, of many "red-tape" difficulties concerned with the granting of my passport.
During the two-months' voyage a fellow passenger found out that I was the Indian delegate to the Boston congress.
"Swami Yogananda," he said, with the first of many quaint48 pronunciations by which I was later to hear my name spoken by the Americans, "please favor the passengers with a lecture next Thursday night. I think we would all benefit by a talk on 'The Battle of Life and How to Fight It.'"
Alas49! I had to fight the battle of my own life, I discovered on Wednesday. Desperately50 trying to organize my ideas into a lecture in English, I finally abandoned all preparations; my thoughts, like a wild colt eyeing a saddle, refused any cooperation with the laws of English grammar. Fully51 trusting in Master's past assurances, however, I appeared before my Thursday audience in the saloon of the steamer. No eloquence52 rose to my lips; speechlessly I stood before the assemblage. After an endurance contest lasting53 ten minutes, the audience realized my predicament and began to laugh.
dc
I stand on the dais before one of my classes in America. This class of a thousand yoga students was held in Washington, D.C.
The situation was not funny to me at the moment; indignantly I sent a silent prayer to Master.
"You can! Speak!" His voice sounded instantly within my consciousness.
My thoughts fell at once into a friendly relation with the English language. Forty-five minutes later the audience was still attentive54. The talk won me a number of invitations to lecture later before various groups in America.
I never could remember, afterward55, a word that I had spoken. By discreet56 inquiry57 I learned from a number of passengers: "You gave an inspiring lecture in stirring and correct English." At this delightful58 news I humbly59 thanked my guru for his timely help, realizing anew that he was ever with me, setting at naught60 all barriers of time and space.
Once in awhile, during the remainder of the ocean trip, I experienced a few apprehensive61 twinges about the coming English-lecture ordeal62 at the Boston congress.
"Lord," I prayed, "please let my inspiration be Thyself, and not again the laughter-bombs of the audience!"
The City Of Sparta docked near Boston in late September. On the sixth of October I addressed the congress with my maiden63 speech in America. It was well received; I sighed in relief. The magnanimous secretary of the American Unitarian Association wrote the following comment in a published account 37-4 of the congress proceedings64:
"Swami Yogananda, delegate from the Brahmacharya Ashram of Ranchi, India, brought the greetings of his Association to the Congress. In fluent English and a forcible delivery he gave an address of a philosophical65 character on 'The Science of Religion,' which has been printed in pamphlet form for a wider distribution. Religion, he maintained, is universal and it is one. We cannot possibly universalize particular customs and convictions, but the common element in religion can be universalized, and we can ask all alike to follow and obey it."
Due to Father's generous check, I was able to remain in America after the congress was over. Four happy years were spent in humble66 circumstances in Boston. I gave public lectures, taught classes, and wrote a book of poems, Songs Of The Soul, with a preface by Dr. Frederick B. Robinson, president of the College of the City of New York. 37-5
Starting a transcontinental tour in the summer of 1924, I spoke before thousands in the principal cities, ending my western trip with a vacation in the beautiful Alaskan north.
With the help of large-hearted students, by the end of 1925 I had established an American headquarters on the Mount Washington Estates in Los Angeles. The building is the one I had seen years before in my vision at Kashmir. I hastened to send Sri Yukteswar pictures of these distant American activities. He replied with a postcard in Bengali, which I here translate:
11th August, 1926
Child of my heart, O Yogananda!
Seeing the photos of your school and students, what joy comes in my life I cannot express in words. I am melting in joy to see your yoga students of different cities. Beholding67 your methods in chant affirmations, healing vibrations68, and divine healing prayers, I cannot refrain from thanking you from my heart. Seeing the gate, the winding69 hilly way upward, and the beautiful scenery spread out beneath the Mount Washington Estates, I yearn70 to behold it all with my own eyes.
SRI YUKTESWAR GIRI
Years sped by. I lectured in every part of my new land, and addressed hundreds of clubs, colleges, churches, and groups of every denomination72. Tens of thousands of Americans received yoga initiation73. To them all I dedicated74 a new book of prayer thoughts in 1929-Whispers From Eternity75, with a preface by Amelita Galli-Curci. 37-6 I give here, from the book, a poem entitled "God! God! God!", composed one night as I stood on a lecture platform:
I whisper:
God! God! God!
Thou art the food, and when I break my fast
Of nightly separation from Thee,
I taste Thee, and mentally say:
God! God! God!
Ever keeps turning on Thee;
My silent war cry is ever: God! God! God!
And when worries howl at me,
I drown their clamor, loudly chanting:
God! God! God!
When my mind weaves dreams
With threads of memories,
Then on that magic cloth I find embossed:
God! God! God!
Every night, in time of deepest sleep,
My peace dreams and calls, Joy! Joy! Joy!
And my joy comes singing evermore:
God! God! God!
In waking, eating, working, dreaming, sleeping,
Serving, meditating81, chanting, divinely loving,
My soul constantly hums, unheard by any:
God! God! God!
Sometimes-usually on the first of the month when the bills rolled in for upkeep of the Mount Washington and other Self-Realization Fellowship centers!-I thought longingly of the simple peace of India. But daily I saw a widening understanding between West and East; my soul rejoiced.
I have found the great heart of America expressed in the wondrous82 lines by Emma Lazarus, carved at the base of the Statue of Liberty, the "Mother of Exiles":
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.
37-1: Many of those faces I have since seen in the West, and instantly recognized..
37-2: Swami Premananda, now the leader of the Self-Realization Church of All Religions in Washington, D.C., was one of the students at the Ranchi school at the time I left there for America. (He was then Brahmachari Jotin.)
37-4: New Pilgrimages Of The Spirit (Boston: Beacon Press, 1921).
37-5: Dr. and Mrs. Robinson visited India in 1939, and were honored guests at the Ranchi school.
37-6: Mme. Galli-Curci and her husband, Homer Samuels, the pianist, have been Kriya Yoga students for twenty years. The inspiring story of the famous prima donna's years of music has been recently published (Galli-Curci's Life Of Song, by C. E. LeMassena, Paebar Co., New York, 1945).
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1
panoramic
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| adj. 全景的 | |
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meditation
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din
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gaily
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| adv.欢乐地，高兴地 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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scampered
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| v.蹦蹦跳跳地跑，惊惶奔跑( scamper的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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epoch
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| n.(新)时代；历元 | |
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convene
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| v.集合，召集，召唤，聚集，集合 | |
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auspices
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| n.资助，赞助 | |
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hurdles
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| n.障碍( hurdle的名词复数 )；跳栏；（供人或马跳跃的）栏架；跨栏赛 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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guile
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| n.诈术 | |
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astounded
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| v.使震惊(astound的过去式和过去分词)；愕然；愕；惊讶 | |
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disciple
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| n.信徒，门徒，追随者 | |
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realization
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| n.实现；认识到，深刻了解 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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trepidation
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| n.惊恐，惶恐 | |
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materialistic
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| a.唯物主义的，物质享乐主义的 | |
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pervaded
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| v.遍及，弥漫( pervade的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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hardy
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| adj.勇敢的，果断的，吃苦的；耐寒的 | |
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adamant
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| adj.坚硬的，固执的 | |
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blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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solace
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| n.安慰；v.使快乐；vt.安慰(物)，缓和 | |
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muffling
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| v.压抑，捂住( muffle的现在分词 )；用厚厚的衣帽包着（自己） | |
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sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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crescendo
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| n.(音乐)渐强，高潮 | |
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scanty
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| adj.缺乏的，仅有的，节省的，狭小的，不够的 | |
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garb
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| n.服装，装束 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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melodiously
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vibrant
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| adj.震颤的，响亮的，充满活力的，精力充沛的，(色彩)鲜明的 | |
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awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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prostrate
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| v.拜倒，平卧，衰竭；adj.拜倒的，平卧的，衰竭的 | |
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majestic
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| adj.雄伟的，壮丽的，庄严的，威严的，崇高的 | |
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electrified
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benediction
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| n.祝福；恩赐 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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longingly
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| adv. 渴望地 热望地 | |
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behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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autobiography
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| n.自传 | |
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secluded
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| adj.与世隔绝的；隐退的；偏僻的v.使隔开，使隐退( seclude的过去式和过去分词) | |
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scattered
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| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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emanating
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| v.从…处传出，传出( emanate的现在分词 )；产生，表现，显示 | |
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wilderness
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| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
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blessings
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| n.（上帝的）祝福( blessing的名词复数 )；好事；福分；因祸得福 | |
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miraculous
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| adj.像奇迹一样的，不可思议的 | |
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quaint
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| adj.古雅的，离奇有趣的，奇怪的 | |
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alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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lasting
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| adj.永久的，永恒的；vbl.持续，维持 | |
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attentive
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| adj.注意的，专心的；关心(别人)的，殷勤的 | |
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afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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discreet
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| adj.(言行)谨慎的；慎重的；有判断力的 | |
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inquiry
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| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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naught
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| n.无，零 [=nought] | |
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apprehensive
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| adj.担心的，恐惧的，善于领会的 | |
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ordeal
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| n.苦难经历，（尤指对品格、耐力的）严峻考验 | |
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maiden
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| n.少女，处女；adj.未婚的，纯洁的，无经验的 | |
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proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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philosophical
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| adj.哲学家的，哲学上的，达观的 | |
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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beholding
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| v.看，注视( behold的现在分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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68
vibrations
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| n.摆动( vibration的名词复数 )；震动；感受；（偏离平衡位置的）一次性往复振动 | |
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69
winding
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| n.绕，缠，绕组，线圈 | |
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70
yearn
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| v.想念；怀念；渴望 | |
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71
bliss
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| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
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72
denomination
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| n.命名，取名，(度量衡、货币等的)单位 | |
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73
initiation
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| n.开始 | |
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dedicated
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| adj.一心一意的；献身的；热诚的 | |
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75
eternity
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| n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷 | |
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76
slumber
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| n.睡眠，沉睡状态 | |
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77
ascend
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| vi.渐渐上升，升高；vt.攀登，登上 | |
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78
spotlight
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| n.公众注意的中心，聚光灯，探照灯，视听，注意，醒目 | |
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79
boisterous
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| adj.喧闹的，欢闹的 | |
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80
shriek
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| v./n.尖叫，叫喊 | |
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81
meditating
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| a.沉思的，冥想的 | |
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82
wondrous
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| adj.令人惊奇的，奇妙的；adv.惊人地；异乎寻常地；令人惊叹地 | |
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83
beacon
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| n.烽火，（警告用的）闪火灯，灯塔 | |
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84
huddled
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| 挤在一起（huddle的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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85
yearning
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| a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的 | |
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86
teeming
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| adj.丰富的v.充满( teem的现在分词 )；到处都是；（指水、雨等）暴降；倾注 | |
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87
conversed
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| v.交谈，谈话( converse的过去式 ) | |
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