—Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar.
EVENING—14th. Sailed in the Rosetta. This is a poor old ship, and ought to be insured and sunk. As in the ‘Oceana’, just so here: everybody dresses for dinner; they make it a sort of pious1 duty. These fine and formal costumes are a rather conspicuous2 contrast to the poverty and shabbiness of the surroundings . . . . If you want a slice of a lime at four o’clock tea, you must sign an order on the bar. Limes cost 14 cents a barrel.
January 18th. We have been running up the Arabian Sea, latterly. Closing up on Bombay now, and due to arrive this evening.
January 20th. Bombay! A bewitching place, a bewildering place, an enchanting3 place—the Arabian Nights come again? It is a vast city; contains about a million inhabitants. Natives, they are, with a slight sprinkling of white people—not enough to have the slightest modifying effect upon the massed dark complexion4 of the public. It is winter here, yet the weather is the divine weather of June, and the foliage5 is the fresh and heavenly foliage of June. There is a rank of noble great shade trees across the way from the hotel, and under them sit groups of picturesque6 natives of both sexes; and the juggler7 in his turban is there with his snakes and his magic; and all day long the cabs and the multitudinous varieties of costumes flock by. It does not seem as if one could ever get tired of watching this moving show, this shining and shifting spectacle . . . . In the great bazar the pack and jam of natives was marvelous, the sea of rich-colored turbans and draperies an inspiring sight, and the quaint8 and showy Indian architecture was just the right setting for it. Toward sunset another show; this is the drive around the sea-shore to Malabar Point, where Lord Sandhurst, the Governor of the Bombay Presidency9, lives. Parsee palaces all along the first part of the drive; and past them all the world is driving; the private carriages of wealthy Englishmen and natives of rank are manned by a driver and three footmen in stunning10 oriental liveries—two of these turbaned statues standing11 up behind, as fine as monuments. Sometimes even the public carriages have this superabundant crew, slightly modified—one to drive, one to sit by and see it done, and one to stand up behind and yell—yell when there is anybody in the way, and for practice when there isn’t. It all helps to keep up the liveliness and augment12 the general sense of swiftness and energy and confusion and pow-wow.
In the region of Scandal Point—felicitous name—where there are handy rocks to sit on and a noble view of the sea on the one hand, and on the other the passing and repassing whirl and tumult13 of gay carriages, are great groups of comfortably-off Parsee women—perfect flower-beds of brilliant color, a fascinating spectacle. Tramp, tramp, tramping along the road, in singles, couples, groups, and gangs, you have the working-man and the working-woman—but not clothed like ours. Usually the man is a nobly-built great athlete, with not a rag on but his loin-handkerchief; his color a deep dark brown, his skin satin, his rounded muscles knobbing it as if it had eggs under it. Usually the woman is a slender and shapely creature, as erect14 as a lightning-rod, and she has but one thing on—a bright-colored piece of stuff which is wound about her head and her body down nearly half-way to her knees, and which clings like her own skin. Her legs and feet are bare, and so are her arms, except for her fanciful bunches of loose silver rings on her ankles and on her arms. She has jewelry15 bunched on the side of her nose also, and showy cluster-rings on her toes. When she undresses for bed she takes off her jewelry, I suppose. If she took off anything more she would catch cold. As a rule she has a large shiney brass16 water jar of graceful17 shape on her head, and one of her naked arms curves up and the hand holds it there. She is so straight, so erect, and she steps with such style, and such easy grace and dignity; and her curved arm and her brazen18 jar are such a help to the picture—indeed, our working-women cannot begin with her as a road-decoration.
It is all color, bewitching color, enchanting color—everywhere all around—all the way around the curving great opaline bay clear to Government House, where the turbaned big native ‘chuprassies’ stand grouped in state at the door in their robes of fiery19 red, and do most properly and stunningly20 finish up the splendid show and make it theatrically21 complete. I wish I were a ‘chuprassy’.
This is indeed India! the land of dreams and romance, of fabulous22 wealth and fabulous poverty, of splendor23 and rags, of palaces and hovels, of famine and pestilence24, of genii and giants and Aladdin lamps, of tigers and elephants, the cobra and the jungle, the country of a hundred nations and a hundred tongues, of a thousand religions and two million gods, cradle of the human race, birthplace of human speech, mother of history, grandmother of legend, great-grandmother of tradition, whose yesterdays bear date with the mouldering25 antiquities26 of the rest of the nations—the one sole country under the sun that is endowed with an imperishable interest for alien prince and alien peasant, for lettered and ignorant, wise and fool, rich and poor, bond and free, the one land that all men desire to see, and having seen once, by even a glimpse, would not give that glimpse for the shows of all the rest of the globe combined. Even now, after the lapse27 of a year, the delirium28 of those days in Bombay has not left me, and I hope never will. It was all new, no detail of it hackneyed. And India did not wait for morning, it began at the hotel—straight away. The lobbies and halls were full of turbaned, and fez’d and embroidered29, cap’d, and barefooted, and cotton-clad dark natives, some of them rushing about, others at rest squatting30, or sitting on the ground; some of them chattering31 with energy, others still and dreamy; in the dining-room every man’s own private native servant standing behind his chair, and dressed for a part in the Arabian Nights.
Our rooms were high up, on the front. A white man—he was a burly German—went up with us, and brought three natives along to see to arranging things. About fourteen others followed in procession, with the hand-baggage; each carried an article—and only one; a bag, in some cases, in other cases less. One strong native carried my overcoat, another a parasol, another a box of cigars, another a novel, and the last man in the procession had no load but a fan. It was all done with earnestness and sincerity32, there was not a smile in the procession from the head of it to the tail of it. Each man waited patiently, tranquilly33, in no sort of hurry, till one of us found time to give him a copper34, then he bent35 his head reverently36, touched his forehead with his fingers, and went his way. They seemed a soft and gentle race, and there was something both winning and touching37 about their demeanor38.
There was a vast glazed39 door which opened upon the balcony. It needed closing, or cleaning, or something, and a native got down on his knees and went to work at it. He seemed to be doing it well enough, but perhaps he wasn’t, for the burly German put on a look that betrayed dissatisfaction, then without explaining what was wrong, gave the native a brisk cuff40 on the jaw41 and then told him where the defect was. It seemed such a shame to do that before us all. The native took it with meekness43, saying nothing, and not showing in his face or manner any resentment44. I had not seen the like of this for fifty years. It carried me back to my boyhood, and flashed upon me the forgotten fact that this was the usual way of explaining one’s desires to a slave. I was able to remember that the method seemed right and natural to me in those days, I being born to it and unaware45 that elsewhere there were other methods; but I was also able to remember that those unresented cuffings made me sorry for the victim and ashamed for the punisher. My father was a refined and kindly46 gentleman, very grave, rather austere47, of rigid48 probity49, a sternly just and upright man, albeit50 he attended no church and never spoke51 of religious matters, and had no part nor lot in the pious joys of his Presbyterian family, nor ever seemed to suffer from this deprivation52. He laid his hand upon me in punishment only twice in his life, and then not heavily; once for telling him a lie—which surprised me, and showed me how unsuspicious he was, for that was not my maiden53 effort. He punished me those two times only, and never any other member of the family at all; yet every now and then he cuffed54 our harmless slave boy, Lewis, for trifling55 little blunders and awkwardnesses. My father had passed his life among the slaves from his cradle up, and his cuffings proceeded from the custom of the time, not from his nature. When I was ten years old I saw a man fling a lump of iron-ore at a slaveman in anger, for merely doing something awkwardly—as if that were a crime. It bounded from the man’s skull57, and the man fell and never spoke again. He was dead in an hour. I knew the man had a right to kill his slave if he wanted to, and yet it seemed a pitiful thing and somehow wrong, though why wrong I was not deep enough to explain if I had been asked to do it. Nobody in the village approved of that murder, but of course no one said much about it.
It is curious—the space-annihilating power of thought. For just one second, all that goes to make the me in me was in a Missourian village, on the other side of the globe, vividly58 seeing again these forgotten pictures of fifty years ago, and wholly unconscious of all things but just those; and in the next second I was back in Bombay, and that kneeling native’s smitten59 cheek was not done tingling60 yet! Back to boyhood—fifty years; back to age again, another fifty; and a flight equal to the circumference61 of the globe-all in two seconds by the watch!
Some natives—I don’t remember how many—went into my bedroom, now, and put things to rights and arranged the mosquito-bar, and I went to bed to nurse my cough. It was about nine in the evening. What a state of things! For three hours the yelling and shouting of natives in the hall continued, along with the velvety62 patter of their swift bare feet—what a racket it was! They were yelling orders and messages down three flights. Why, in the matter of noise it amounted to a riot, an insurrection, a revolution. And then there were other noises mixed up with these and at intervals63 tremendously accenting them—roofs falling in, I judged, windows smashing, persons being murdered, crows squawking, and deriding64, and cursing, canaries screeching65, monkeys jabbering66, macaws blaspheming, and every now and then fiendish bursts of laughter and explosions of dynamite67. By midnight I had suffered all the different kinds of shocks there are, and knew that I could never more be disturbed by them, either isolated68 or in combination. Then came peace—stillness deep and solemn and lasted till five.
Then it all broke loose again. And who re-started it? The Bird of Birds the Indian crow. I came to know him well, by and by, and be infatuated with him. I suppose he is the hardest lot that wears feathers. Yes, and the cheerfulest, and the best satisfied with himself. He never arrived at what he is by any careless process, or any sudden one; he is a work of art, and “art is long”; he is the product of immemorial ages, and of deep calculation; one can’t make a bird like that in a day. He has been reincarnated69 more times than Shiva; and he has kept a sample of each incarnation, and fused it into his constitution. In the course of his evolutionary70 promotions71, his sublime72 march toward ultimate perfection, he has been a gambler, a low comedian73, a dissolute priest, a fussy74 woman, a blackguard, a scoffer75, a liar76, a thief, a spy, an informer, a trading politician, a swindler, a professional hypocrite, a patriot77 for cash, a reformer, a lecturer, a lawyer, a conspirator78, a rebel, a royalist, a democrat79, a practicer and propagator of irreverence80, a meddler81, an intruder, a busybody, an infidel, and a wallower in sin for the mere56 love of it. The strange result, the incredible result, of this patient accumulation of all damnable traits is, that he does not know what care is, he does not know what sorrow is, he does not know what remorse82 is, his life is one long thundering ecstasy83 of happiness, and he will go to his death untroubled, knowing that he will soon turn up again as an author or something, and be even more intolerably capable and comfortable than ever he was before.
In his straddling wide forward-step, and his springy side-wise series of hops84, and his impudent85 air, and his cunning way of canting his head to one side upon occasion, he reminds one of the American blackbird. But the sharp resemblances stop there. He is much bigger than the blackbird; and he lacks the blackbird’s trim and slender and beautiful build and shapely beak86; and of course his sober garb87 of gray and rusty88 black is a poor and humble89 thing compared with the splendid lustre90 of the blackbird’s metallic91 sables92 and shifting and flashing bronze glories. The blackbird is a perfect gentleman, in deportment and attire93, and is not noisy, I believe, except when holding religious services and political conventions in a tree; but this Indian sham42 Quaker is just a rowdy, and is always noisy when awake—always chaffing, scolding, scoffing94, laughing, ripping, and cursing, and carrying on about something or other. I never saw such a bird for delivering opinions. Nothing escapes him; he notices everything that happens, and brings out his opinion about it, particularly if it is a matter that is none of his business. And it is never a mild opinion, but always violent—violent and profane—the presence of ladies does not affect him. His opinions are not the outcome of reflection, for he never thinks about anything, but heaves out the opinion that is on top in his mind, and which is often an opinion about some quite different thing and does not fit the case. But that is his way; his main idea is to get out an opinion, and if he stopped to think he would lose chances.
I suppose he has no enemies among men. The whites and Mohammedans never seemed to molest95 him; and the Hindoos, because of their religion, never take the life of any creature, but spare even the snakes and tigers and fleas96 and rats.
If I sat on one end of the balcony, the crows would gather on the railing at the other end and talk about me; and edge closer, little by little, till I could almost reach them; and they would sit there, in the most unabashed way, and talk about my clothes, and my hair, and my complexion, and probable character and vocation97 and politics, and how I came to be in India, and what I had been doing, and how many days I had got for it, and how I had happened to go unhanged so long, and when would it probably come off, and might there be more of my sort where I came from, and when would they be hanged,—and so on, and so on, until I could not longer endure the embarrassment98 of it; then I would shoo them away, and they would circle around in the air a little while, laughing and deriding and mocking, and presently settle on the rail and do it all over again.
They were very sociable99 when there was anything to eat—oppressively so. With a little encouragement they would come in and light on the table and help me eat my breakfast; and once when I was in the other room and they found themselves alone, they carried off everything they could lift; and they were particular to choose things which they could make no use of after they got them. In India their number is beyond estimate, and their noise is in proportion. I suppose they cost the country more than the government does; yet that is not a light matter. Still, they pay; their company pays; it would sadden the land to take their cheerful voice out of it.
点击收听单词发音
1 pious | |
adj.虔诚的;道貌岸然的 | |
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2 conspicuous | |
adj.明眼的,惹人注目的;炫耀的,摆阔气的 | |
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3 enchanting | |
a.讨人喜欢的 | |
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4 complexion | |
n.肤色;情况,局面;气质,性格 | |
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5 foliage | |
n.叶子,树叶,簇叶 | |
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6 picturesque | |
adj.美丽如画的,(语言)生动的,绘声绘色的 | |
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7 juggler | |
n. 变戏法者, 行骗者 | |
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8 quaint | |
adj.古雅的,离奇有趣的,奇怪的 | |
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9 presidency | |
n.总统(校长,总经理)的职位(任期) | |
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10 stunning | |
adj.极好的;使人晕倒的 | |
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11 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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12 augment | |
vt.(使)增大,增加,增长,扩张 | |
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13 tumult | |
n.喧哗;激动,混乱;吵闹 | |
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14 erect | |
n./v.树立,建立,使竖立;adj.直立的,垂直的 | |
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15 jewelry | |
n.(jewllery)(总称)珠宝 | |
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16 brass | |
n.黄铜;黄铜器,铜管乐器 | |
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17 graceful | |
adj.优美的,优雅的;得体的 | |
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18 brazen | |
adj.厚脸皮的,无耻的,坚硬的 | |
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19 fiery | |
adj.燃烧着的,火红的;暴躁的;激烈的 | |
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20 stunningly | |
ad.令人目瞪口呆地;惊人地 | |
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21 theatrically | |
adv.戏剧化地 | |
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22 fabulous | |
adj.极好的;极为巨大的;寓言中的,传说中的 | |
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23 splendor | |
n.光彩;壮丽,华丽;显赫,辉煌 | |
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24 pestilence | |
n.瘟疫 | |
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25 mouldering | |
v.腐朽( moulder的现在分词 );腐烂,崩塌 | |
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26 antiquities | |
n.古老( antiquity的名词复数 );古迹;古人们;古代的风俗习惯 | |
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27 lapse | |
n.过失,流逝,失效,抛弃信仰,间隔;vi.堕落,停止,失效,流逝;vt.使失效 | |
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28 delirium | |
n. 神智昏迷,说胡话;极度兴奋 | |
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29 embroidered | |
adj.绣花的 | |
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30 squatting | |
v.像动物一样蹲下( squat的现在分词 );非法擅自占用(土地或房屋);为获得其所有权;而占用某片公共用地。 | |
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31 chattering | |
n. (机器振动发出的)咔嗒声,(鸟等)鸣,啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的,啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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32 sincerity | |
n.真诚,诚意;真实 | |
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33 tranquilly | |
adv. 宁静地 | |
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34 copper | |
n.铜;铜币;铜器;adj.铜(制)的;(紫)铜色的 | |
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35 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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36 reverently | |
adv.虔诚地 | |
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37 touching | |
adj.动人的,使人感伤的 | |
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38 demeanor | |
n.行为;风度 | |
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39 glazed | |
adj.光滑的,像玻璃的;上过釉的;呆滞无神的v.装玻璃( glaze的过去式);上釉于,上光;(目光)变得呆滞无神 | |
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40 cuff | |
n.袖口;手铐;护腕;vt.用手铐铐;上袖口 | |
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41 jaw | |
n.颚,颌,说教,流言蜚语;v.喋喋不休,教训 | |
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42 sham | |
n./adj.假冒(的),虚伪(的) | |
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43 meekness | |
n.温顺,柔和 | |
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44 resentment | |
n.怨愤,忿恨 | |
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45 unaware | |
a.不知道的,未意识到的 | |
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46 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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47 austere | |
adj.艰苦的;朴素的,朴实无华的;严峻的 | |
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48 rigid | |
adj.严格的,死板的;刚硬的,僵硬的 | |
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49 probity | |
n.刚直;廉洁,正直 | |
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50 albeit | |
conj.即使;纵使;虽然 | |
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51 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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52 deprivation | |
n.匮乏;丧失;夺去,贫困 | |
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53 maiden | |
n.少女,处女;adj.未婚的,纯洁的,无经验的 | |
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54 cuffed | |
v.掌打,拳打( cuff的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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55 trifling | |
adj.微不足道的;没什么价值的 | |
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56 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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57 skull | |
n.头骨;颅骨 | |
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58 vividly | |
adv.清楚地,鲜明地,生动地 | |
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59 smitten | |
猛打,重击,打击( smite的过去分词 ) | |
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60 tingling | |
v.有刺痛感( tingle的现在分词 ) | |
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61 circumference | |
n.圆周,周长,圆周线 | |
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62 velvety | |
adj. 像天鹅绒的, 轻软光滑的, 柔软的 | |
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63 intervals | |
n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 );间隔时间;[数学]区间;(戏剧、电影或音乐会的)幕间休息 | |
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64 deriding | |
v.取笑,嘲笑( deride的现在分词 ) | |
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65 screeching | |
v.发出尖叫声( screech的现在分词 );发出粗而刺耳的声音;高叫 | |
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66 jabbering | |
v.急切而含混不清地说( jabber的现在分词 );急促兴奋地说话;结结巴巴 | |
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67 dynamite | |
n./vt.(用)炸药(爆破) | |
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68 isolated | |
adj.与世隔绝的 | |
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69 reincarnated | |
v.赋予新形体,使转世化身( reincarnate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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70 evolutionary | |
adj.进化的;演化的,演变的;[生]进化论的 | |
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71 promotions | |
促进( promotion的名词复数 ); 提升; 推广; 宣传 | |
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72 sublime | |
adj.崇高的,伟大的;极度的,不顾后果的 | |
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73 comedian | |
n.喜剧演员;滑稽演员 | |
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74 fussy | |
adj.为琐事担忧的,过分装饰的,爱挑剔的 | |
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75 scoffer | |
嘲笑者 | |
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76 liar | |
n.说谎的人 | |
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77 patriot | |
n.爱国者,爱国主义者 | |
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78 conspirator | |
n.阴谋者,谋叛者 | |
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79 democrat | |
n.民主主义者,民主人士;民主党党员 | |
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80 irreverence | |
n.不尊敬 | |
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81 meddler | |
n.爱管闲事的人,干涉者 | |
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82 remorse | |
n.痛恨,悔恨,自责 | |
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83 ecstasy | |
n.狂喜,心醉神怡,入迷 | |
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84 hops | |
跳上[下]( hop的第三人称单数 ); 单足蹦跳; 齐足(或双足)跳行; 摘葎草花 | |
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85 impudent | |
adj.鲁莽的,卑鄙的,厚颜无耻的 | |
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86 beak | |
n.鸟嘴,茶壶嘴,钩形鼻 | |
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87 garb | |
n.服装,装束 | |
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88 rusty | |
adj.生锈的;锈色的;荒废了的 | |
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89 humble | |
adj.谦卑的,恭顺的;地位低下的;v.降低,贬低 | |
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90 lustre | |
n.光亮,光泽;荣誉 | |
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91 metallic | |
adj.金属的;金属制的;含金属的;产金属的;像金属的 | |
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92 sables | |
n.紫貂( sable的名词复数 );紫貂皮;阴暗的;暗夜 | |
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93 attire | |
v.穿衣,装扮[同]array;n.衣着;盛装 | |
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94 scoffing | |
n. 嘲笑, 笑柄, 愚弄 v. 嘲笑, 嘲弄, 愚弄, 狼吞虎咽 | |
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95 molest | |
vt.骚扰,干扰,调戏 | |
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96 fleas | |
n.跳蚤( flea的名词复数 );爱财如命;没好气地(拒绝某人的要求) | |
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97 vocation | |
n.职业,行业 | |
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98 embarrassment | |
n.尴尬;使人为难的人(事物);障碍;窘迫 | |
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99 sociable | |
adj.好交际的,友好的,合群的 | |
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