Chapter 4

 "God keep you from the she-wolf, and from your heart's deep desire!"

 

[148]

 

My mother said that again to me when I came home that night from my fishing; and she said it to me often as the days went on. She saw the change that had come to me, and she knew what was in my soul. It is not wonderful, when you stop to think about it, that a man's mother should know what is in his soul: for the body in which that soul is, the living home of it, is a part of her own. And she grew sad and weary-looking when she found that her words had no hold on me, and there came into her eyes the sorrowful look that comes into the eyes of old people who are soon to die.

 

But Magali's eyes were the only eyes that I cared for then, and they seemed to me to grow brighter and brighter every day. When she and I walked in the olive-orchards together in the starlight the glow¹ of them outshone the star-glow. It seemed to light up my heart.

 

I do not think that we talked much in those walks. I do not seem to remember our talking. But we understood each other, and we were agreed about what we were to do. I was old enough to marry as I pleased, but Magali was not—she could not marry without my mother's word. We meant to force that word. Some day we would go off in my boat together—over to[149] Les Saintes Maries, perhaps; or perhaps to Marseille. It did not matter where we went. When we came back again, at the end of two or three days, my mother no longer could deny us—she would have to give in. And no one would think the worse of Magali: for that is our common way of settling a tangled² love-matter here in Provence.

 

But I did not take account of Jan in my plans, and that was where I made a mistake. Jan had just as strong a will as I had, and every bit of his will was set upon keeping Magali for himself. I wanted her to break with him entirely³, but that she would not do. She was a true Proven?ale—and I never yet knew one of our women who would rest satisfied with one lover⁴ when she could have two. If she can get more than two, that is better still. While I hung back from her, Magali was more than ready to come to me; but when she found me eager after her, and knew that she had a grip⁵ on me, she danced away.

 

And so, before long, Jan again had his walks with her in the olive-orchards by starlight just as I did, and likely enough her eyes glowed⁶ for him just as they did for me. When they were off that way together I would get into a[150] wild-beast rage⁷ over it. Sometimes I would follow them, fingering my knife. I suppose that he felt like that when the turn was mine. Anyhow, the love-making chances which she gave him—even though in my heart I still was sure of her—kept me always watching him; and I could see that he always was watching me. Very likely he felt sure of her too, and that was his reason—just as it was my reason—for not bringing our matter to a fighting end. I was ready enough to kill him, God knows. Unless his eyes lied when he looked at me, he was ready to kill me.

 

And in that way the summer slipped past and the autumn came, and neither of us gained anything. I was getting into a black rage over it all. Down inside of me was a feeling like fire in my stomach that made me not want to eat, and that made what I did eat go wrong. My poor mother had given up trying to talk to me. She saw that she could not change my way—and, too, I suppose that she pretty well understood it all: for she had lived her life, and she knew the ways of our men and of our women when love stings⁸ them here in Provence. Only, her sadness grew upon her with her hopelessness. What I remember most clearly as I think of[151] her in those last days is her pale old face and the dying⁹ look in her sorrowful eyes.

 

But seeing her in that way grief-struck only made my black rage blacker and the fire in my stomach burn hotter. I had the feeling that there was a devil¹⁰ down there who all the time was getting bigger and stronger: and that before long he and I would take matters in hand together and settle them for good and all. As for keeping on with things as they were, it was not to be thought of. Better than much more of such a hell-life would be ending everything by killing¹¹ Jan.

 

What made me hang back from that was the certainty¹² that if I did kill him—even in a fair fight, with his chance as good as mine—I would lose Magali beyond all hope: for the gendarmes¹³ would have me away in a whiff to jail—and then off would go my head, or, what would be just as bad, off I would go head and all to Cayenne. It was no comfort to me to know that Magali would almost cry her eyes out over losing me. Of course she would do that, being a Proven?ale. But before her eyes were quite out she would stop crying; and then in a moment she would be laughing again; and in another moment she would be freshly in love[152] once more—with some man who was not murdered and who was not gone for his lifetime over seas. And all that, also, would be because she was a Proven?ale.

1 glow   

n.白热光；激情；vi.发白热光，(身体)发热

参考例句：

• The sunset glow is just like a picture.晚霞恰如一幅图画。
• There was a dull red glow in the night sky above the steelworks.夜晚炼钢厂的上空闪着暗红色的光。

2 tangled   

adj. 纠缠的，紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• Your hair's so tangled that I can't comb it. 你的头发太乱了，我梳不动。
• A movement caught his eye in the tangled undergrowth. 乱灌木丛里的晃动引起了他的注意。

3 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

4 lover   

n.情人，恋人；爱好者

参考例句：

• Every lover sees a thousand graces in the beloved object.情人眼里出西施。
• Mr.Smith was a lover of poetry.史密斯先生是一名诗歌爱好者。

5 grip   

v.握紧，紧握；吸引；引起；n.紧握，控制

参考例句：

• He keeps a firm grip on his children.他对孩子们管得很严。
• The brake doesn't grip properly.煞车不灵。

6 glowed   

v.（无焰地）燃烧( glow的过去式和过去分词 )；脸红；尤指热的物体发出微弱而稳定的光；喜形于色

参考例句：

• The embers still glowed in the hearth. 余烬仍在炉膛里发出暗淡的光。
• Red-hot coals glowed in the fire. 炽热的煤炭在炉子里发光。

7 rage   

vi.(烈火)熊熊燃烧；发怒；怒斥；季风

参考例句：

• He went into a rage when he learned about it.他听到这事后勃然大怒。
• Haines got into a rage.海恩斯勃然大怒。

8 stings   

螫伤处( sting的名词复数 )； （某些昆虫的）毒刺； （身体或心灵的）剧痛； （警察为抓捕罪犯而设的）圈套

参考例句：

• Falsehood like a nettle stings those who meddle with it. 谎言似荨麻，玩弄会刺手。
• This cream contains a mild analgesic to soothe stings and bites. 这种乳膏含有一种性能平和的止痛剂，能缓解被螫咬后的疼痛。

9 dying   

adj.垂死的，临终的

参考例句：

• He was put in charge of the group by the dying leader.他被临终的领导人任命为集团负责人。
• She was shown into a small room,where there was a dying man.她被领进了一间小屋子，那里有一个垂死的人。

10 devil   

n.魔鬼，恶魔

参考例句：

• It is easier to raise the devil than to lay him.召鬼容易驱鬼难。
• Susie,you're a determined little devil.苏茜，你真是个坚决的小家伙。

11 killing   

n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财

参考例句：

• Investors are set to make a killing from the sell-off.投资者准备清仓以便大赚一笔。
• Last week my brother made a killing on Wall Street.上个周我兄弟在华尔街赚了一大笔。

12 certainty   

n.必然的事，确定的事实，确信，确实

参考例句：

• I can't say with any certainty where I shall be next week.我不能确切地说下周我在什么地方。
• I know for a certainty that the company has been bought up.我确实知道公司已经被人收购了。

13 gendarmes   

n.宪兵，警官( gendarme的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Of course, the line of prisoners was guarded at all times by armed gendarmes. 当然，这一切都是在荷枪实弹的卫兵监视下进行的。 来自百科语句
• The three men were gendarmes;the other was Jean Valjean. 那三个人是警察，另一个就是冉阿让。 来自互联网