“The child is born. Buckstone gives notice of the thieving Knobs University job. It is said the noses have been counted and enough votes have been bought to pass it.”
For some time the correspondents had been posting their several journals upon the alleged4 disreputable nature of the bill, and furnishing daily reports of the Washington gossip concerning it. So the next morning, nearly every newspaper of character in the land assailed5 the measure and hurled6 broadsides of invective7 at Mr. Buckstone. The Washington papers were more respectful, as usual—and conciliatory, also, as usual. They generally supported measures, when it was possible; but when they could not they “deprecated” violent expressions of opinion in other journalistic quarters.
They always deprecated, when there was trouble ahead. However, ‘The Washington Daily Love-Feast’ hailed the bill with warm approbation8. This was Senator Balaam’s paper—or rather, “Brother” Balaam, as he was popularly called, for he had been a clergyman, in his day; and he himself and all that he did still emitted an odor of sanctity now that he had diverged9 into journalism10 and politics. He was a power in the Congressional prayer meeting, and in all movements that looked to the spread of religion and temperance.
His paper supported the new bill with gushing11 affection; it was a noble measure; it was a just measure; it was a generous measure; it was a pure measure, and that surely should recommend it in these corrupt13 times; and finally, if the nature of the bill were not known at all, the ‘Love Feast’ would support it anyway, and unhesitatingly, for the fact that Senator Dilworthy was the originator of the measure was a guaranty that it contemplated15 a worthy14 and righteous work.
Senator Dilworthy was so anxious to know what the New York papers would say about the bill, that he had arranged to have synopses16 of their editorials telegraphed to him; he could not wait for the papers themselves to crawl along down to Washington by a mail train which has never run over a cow since the road was built; for the reason that it has never been able to overtake one. It carries the usual “cow-catcher” in front of the locomotive, but this is mere17 ostentation18. It ought to be attached to the rear car, where it could do some good; but instead, no provision is made there for the protection of the traveling public, and hence it is not a matter of surprise that cows so frequently climb aboard that train and among the passengers.
The Senator read his dispatches aloud at the breakfast table. Laura was troubled beyond measure at their tone, and said that that sort of comment would defeat the bill; but the Senator said:
“Oh, not at all, not at all, my child. It is just what we want. Persecution19 is the one thing needful, now—all the other forces are secured. Give us newspaper persecution enough, and we are safe. Vigorous persecution will alone carry a bill sometimes, dear; and when you start with a strong vote in the first place, persecution comes in with double effect. It scares off some of the weak supporters, true, but it soon turns strong ones into stubborn ones. And then, presently, it changes the tide of public opinion. The great public is weak-minded; the great public is sentimental20; the great public always turns around and weeps for an odious21 murderer, and prays for him, and carries flowers to his prison and besieges22 the governor with appeals to his clemency23, as soon as the papers begin to howl for that man’s blood.—In a word, the great putty-hearted public loves to ‘gush12,’ and there is no such darling opportunity to gush as a case of persecution affords.”
“Well, uncle, dear; if your theory is right, let us go into raptures24, for nobody can ask a heartier25 persecution than these editorials are furnishing.”
“I am not so sure of that, my daughter. I don’t entirely26 like the tone of some of these remarks. They lack vim27, they lack venom28. Here is one calls it a ‘questionable measure.’ Bah, there is no strength in that. This one is better; it calls it ‘highway robbery.’ That sounds something like. But now this one seems satisfied to call it an ‘iniquitous29 scheme’. ‘Iniquitous’ does not exasperate30 anybody; it is weak—puerile. The ignorant will imagine it to be intended for a compliment. But this other one—the one I read last—has the true ring: ‘This vile31, dirty effort to rob the public treasury32, by the kites and vultures that now infest33 the filthy34 den3 called Congress’—that is admirable, admirable! We must have more of that sort. But it will come—no fear of that; they’re not warmed up, yet. A week from now you’ll see.”
“Uncle, you and Brother Balaam are bosom35 friends—why don’t you get his paper to persecute36 us, too?”
“It isn’t worth while, my daughter. His support doesn’t hurt a bill. Nobody reads his editorials but himself. But I wish the New York papers would talk a little plainer. It is annoying to have to wait a week for them to warm up. I expected better things at their hands—and time is precious, now.”
At the proper hour, according to his previous notice, Mr. Buckstone duly introduced his bill entitled “An Act to Found and Incorporate the Knobs Industrial University,” moved its proper reference, and sat down.
“‘Fnobjectionbilltakuzhlcoixrssoreferred!’”
Habitues of the House comprehended that this long, lightning-heeled word signified that if there was no objection, the bill would take the customary course of a measure of its nature, and be referred to the Committee on Benevolent38 Appropriations39, and that it was accordingly so referred. Strangers merely supposed that the Speaker was taking a gargle for some affection of the throat.
The reporters immediately telegraphed the introduction of the bill.—And they added:
“The assertion that the bill will pass was premature40. It is said that many favorers of it will desert when the storm breaks upon them from the public press.”
The storm came, and during ten days it waxed more and more violent day by day. The great “Negro University Swindle” became the one absorbing topic of conversation throughout the union. Individuals denounced it, journals denounced it, public meetings denounced it, the pictorial41 papers caricatured its friends, the whole nation seemed to be growing frantic42 over it. Meantime the Washington correspondents were sending such telegrams as these abroad in the land; Under date of—
SATURDAY. “Congressmen Jex and Fluke are wavering; it is believed they will desert the execrable bill.” MONDAY. “Jex and Fluke have deserted43!” THURSDAY. “Tubbs and Huffy left the sinking ship last night”
Later on:
“Three desertions. The University thieves are getting scared, though they will not own it.”
Later:
“The leaders are growing stubborn—they swear they can carry it, but it is now almost certain that they no longer have a majority!”
After a day or two of reluctant and ambiguous telegrams:
“Public sentiment seems changing, a trifle in favor of the bill—but only a trifle.”
And still later:
“It is whispered that the Hon. Mr. Trollop has gone over to the pirates. It is probably a canard44. Mr. Trollop has all along been the bravest and most efficient champion of virtue45 and the people against the bill, and the report is without doubt a shameless invention.”
Next day:
“With characteristic treachery, the truckling and pusillanimous46 reptile47, Crippled-Speech Trollop, has gone over to the enemy. It is contended, now, that he has been a friend to the bill, in secret, since the day it was introduced, and has had bankable reasons for being so; but he himself declares that he has gone over because the malignant48 persecution of the bill by the newspapers caused him to study its provisions with more care than he had previously49 done, and this close examination revealed the fact that the measure is one in every way worthy of support. (Pretty thin!) It cannot be denied that this desertion has had a damaging effect. Jex and Fluke have returned to their iniquitous allegiance, with six or eight others of lesser50 calibre, and it is reported and believed that Tubbs and Huffy are ready to go back. It is feared that the University swindle is stronger to-day than it has ever been before.”
Later-midnight:
“It is said that the committee will report the bill back to-morrow. Both sides are marshaling their forces, and the fight on this bill is evidently going to be the hottest of the session.—All Washington is boiling.”
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1
jotted
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| v.匆忙记下( jot的过去式和过去分词 )；草草记下，匆匆记下 | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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den
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| n.兽穴；秘密地方；安静的小房间，私室 | |
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alleged
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| a.被指控的，嫌疑的 | |
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assailed
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| v.攻击( assail的过去式和过去分词 )；困扰；质问；毅然应对 | |
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hurled
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| v.猛投，用力掷( hurl的过去式和过去分词 )；大声叫骂 | |
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7
invective
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| n.痛骂，恶意抨击 | |
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8
approbation
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| n.称赞；认可 | |
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diverged
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| 分开( diverge的过去式和过去分词 )； 偏离； 分歧； 分道扬镳 | |
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journalism
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| n.新闻工作，报业 | |
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11
gushing
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| adj.迸出的；涌出的；喷出的；过分热情的v.喷，涌( gush的现在分词 )；滔滔不绝地说话 | |
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12
gush
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| v.喷，涌；滔滔不绝(说话)；n.喷，涌流；迸发 | |
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13
corrupt
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| v.贿赂，收买；adj.腐败的，贪污的 | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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15
contemplated
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| adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式 | |
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synopses
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| 摘要，梗概( synopsis的名词复数 )； 大纲 | |
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17
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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ostentation
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| n.夸耀，卖弄 | |
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persecution
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| n. 迫害,烦扰 | |
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sentimental
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| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
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odious
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| adj.可憎的，讨厌的 | |
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besieges
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| 包围，围困，围攻( besiege的第三人称单数 ) | |
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clemency
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| n.温和，仁慈，宽厚 | |
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24
raptures
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| 极度欢喜( rapture的名词复数 ) | |
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25
heartier
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| 亲切的( hearty的比较级 )； 热诚的； 健壮的； 精神饱满的 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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vim
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| n.精力，活力 | |
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venom
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| n.毒液，恶毒，痛恨 | |
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iniquitous
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| adj.不公正的；邪恶的；高得出奇的 | |
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exasperate
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| v.激怒，使（疾病）加剧，使恶化 | |
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vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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treasury
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| n.宝库；国库，金库；文库 | |
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infest
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| v.大批出没于；侵扰；寄生于 | |
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filthy
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| adj.卑劣的；恶劣的，肮脏的 | |
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35
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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36
persecute
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| vt.迫害，虐待；纠缠，骚扰 | |
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rattled
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| 慌乱的，恼火的 | |
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benevolent
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| adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的 | |
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39
appropriations
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| n.挪用（appropriation的复数形式） | |
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40
premature
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| adj.比预期时间早的；不成熟的，仓促的 | |
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41
pictorial
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| adj.绘画的；图片的；n．画报 | |
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42
frantic
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| adj.狂乱的，错乱的，激昂的 | |
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43
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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44
canard
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| n.虚报；谣言；v.流传 | |
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45
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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46
pusillanimous
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| adj.懦弱的，胆怯的 | |
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47
reptile
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| n.爬行动物；两栖动物 | |
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48
malignant
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| adj.恶性的，致命的；恶意的，恶毒的 | |
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49
previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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50
lesser
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| adj.次要的，较小的；adv.较小地，较少地 | |
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