“Well,” said the Colonel, “I don’t know but you are more or less right, there. Now let’s figure up a little on, the preliminaries. I think Congress always tries to do as near right as it can, according to its lights. A man can’t ask any fairer than that. The first preliminary it always starts out on, is to clean itself, so to speak. It will arraign4 two or three dozen of its members, or maybe four or five dozen, for taking bribes5 to vote for this and that and the other bill last winter.”
“It goes up into the dozens, does it?”
“Well, yes; in a free country likes ours, where any man can run for Congress and anybody can vote for him, you can’t expect immortal6 purity all the time—it ain’t in nature. Sixty or eighty or a hundred and fifty people are bound to get in who are not angels in disguise, as young Hicks the correspondent says; but still it is a very good average; very good indeed. As long as it averages as well as that, I think we can feel very well satisfied. Even in these days, when people growl7 so much and the newspapers are so out of patience, there is still a very respectable minority of honest men in Congress.”
“Why a respectable minority of honest men can’t do any good, Colonel.”
“Oh, yes it can, too”
“Why, how?”
“Oh, in many ways, many ways.”
“But what are the ways?”
“Well—I don’t know—it is a question that requires time; a body can’t answer every question right off-hand. But it does do good. I am satisfied of that.”
“All right, then; grant that it does good; go on with the preliminaries.”
“That is what I am coming to. First, as I said, they will try a lot of members for taking money for votes. That will take four weeks.”
“Yes, that’s like last year; and it is a sheer waste of the time for which the nation pays those men to work—that is what that is. And it pinches when a body’s got a bill waiting.”
“A waste of time, to purify the fountain of public law? Well, I never heard anybody express an idea like that before. But if it were, it would still be the fault of the minority, for the majority don’t institute these proceedings9. There is where that minority becomes an obstruction—but still one can’t say it is on the wrong side.—Well, after they have finished the bribery10 cases, they will take up cases of members who have bought their seats with money. That will take another four weeks.”
“Very good; go on. You have accounted for two-thirds of the session.”
“Next they will try each other for various smaller irregularities, like the sale of appointments to West Point cadetships, and that sort of thing—mere trifling11 pocket-money enterprises that might better be passed over in silence, perhaps, but then one of our Congresses can never rest easy till it has thoroughly12 purified itself of all blemishes—and that is a thing to be applauded.”
“Well, about two weeks, generally.”
“So Congress always lies helpless in quarantine ten weeks of a session. That’s encouraging. Colonel, poor Laura will never get any benefit from our bill. Her trial will be over before Congress has half purified itself.—And doesn’t it occur to you that by the time it has expelled all its impure14 members there may not be enough members left to do business legally?”
“Why I did not say Congress would expel anybody.”
“Well won’t it expel anybody?”
“Not necessarily. Did it last year? It never does. That would not be regular.”
“Then why waste all the session in that tomfoolery of trying members?”
“It is usual; it is customary; the country requires it.”
“Then the country is a fool, I think.”
“Oh, no. The country thinks somebody is going to be expelled.”
“Well, when nobody is expelled, what does the country think then?”
“By that time, the thing has strung out so long that the country is sick and tired of it and glad to have a change on any terms. But all that inquiry15 is not lost. It has a good moral effect.”
“Who does it have a good moral effect on?”
“Well—I don’t know. On foreign countries, I think. We have always been under the gaze of foreign countries. There is no country in the world, sir, that pursues corruption17 as inveterately18 as we do. There is no country in the world whose representatives try each other as much as ours do, or stick to it as long on a stretch. I think there is something great in being a model for the whole civilized19 world, Washington.”
“You don’t mean a model; you mean an example.”
“Well, it’s all the same; it’s just the same thing. It shows that a man can’t be corrupt16 in this country without sweating for it, I can tell you that.”
“Hang it, Colonel, you just said we never punish anybody for villainous practices.”
“But good God we try them, don’t we! Is it nothing to show a disposition20 to sift21 things and bring people to a strict account? I tell you it has its effect.”
“Oh, bother the effect!—What is it they do do? How do they proceed? You know perfectly22 well—and it is all bosh, too. Come, now, how do they proceed?”
“Why they proceed right and regular—and it ain’t bosh, Washington, it ain’t bosh. They appoint a committee to investigate, and that committee hears evidence three weeks, and all the witnesses on one side swear that the accused took money or stock or something for his vote. Then the accused stands up and testifies that he may have done it, but he was receiving and handling a good deal of money at the time and he doesn’t remember this particular circumstance—at least with sufficient distinctness to enable him to grasp it tangibly23. So of course the thing is not proven—and that is what they say in the verdict. They don’t acquit24, they don’t condemn25. They just say, ‘Charge not proven.’ It leaves the accused in a kind of a shaky condition before the country, it purifies Congress, it satisfies everybody, and it doesn’t seriously hurt anybody. It has taken a long time to perfect our system, but it is the most admirable in the world, now.”
“So one of those long stupid investigations26 always turns out in that lame27 silly way. Yes, you are correct. I thought maybe you viewed the matter differently from other people. Do you think a Congress of ours could convict the devil of anything if he were a member?”
“My dear boy, don’t let these damaging delays prejudice you against Congress. Don’t use such strong language; you talk like a newspaper. Congress has inflicted28 frightful29 punishments on its members—now you know that. When they tried Mr. Fairoaks, and a cloud of witnesses proved him to be—well, you know what they proved him to be—and his own testimony30 and his own confessions31 gave him the same character, what did Congress do then?—come!”
“Well, what did Congress do?”
“You know what Congress did, Washington. Congress intimated plainly enough, that they considered him almost a stain upon their body; and without waiting ten days, hardly, to think the thing over, they rose up and hurled32 at him a resolution declaring that they disapproved33 of his conduct! Now you know that, Washington.”
“It was a terrific thing—there is no denying that. If he had been proven guilty of theft, arson34, licentiousness35, infanticide, and defiling36 graves, I believe they would have suspended him for two days.”
“You can depend on it, Washington. Congress is vindictive37, Congress is savage38, sir, when it gets waked up once. It will go to any length to vindicate39 its honor at such a time.”
“Ah well, we have talked the morning through, just as usual in these tiresome40 days of waiting, and we have reached the same old result; that is to say, we are no better off than when we began. The land bill is just as far away as ever, and the trial is closer at hand. Let’s give up everything and die.”
“Die and leave the Duchess to fight it out all alone? Oh, no, that won’t do. Come, now, don’t talk so. It is all going to come out right. Now you’ll see.”
“It never will, Colonel, never in the world. Something tells me that. I get more tired and more despondent every day. I don’t see any hope; life is only just a trouble. I am so miserable41, these days!”
The Colonel made Washington get up and walk the floor with him, arm in arm. The good old speculator wanted to comfort him, but he hardly knew how to go about it. He made many attempts, but they were lame; they lacked spirit; the words were encouraging; but they were only words—he could not get any heart into them. He could not always warm up, now, with the old Hawkeye fervor42. By and by his lips trembled and his voice got unsteady. He said:
“Don’t give up the ship, my boy—don’t do it. The wind’s bound to fetch around and set in our favor. I know it.”
And the prospect43 was so cheerful that he wept. Then he blew a trumpet-blast that started the meshes44 of his handkerchief, and said in almost his breezy old-time way:
“Lord bless us, this is all nonsense! Night doesn’t last always; day has got to break some time or other. Every silver lining45 has a cloud behind it, as the poet says; and that remark has always cheered me; though—I never could see any meaning to it. Everybody uses it, though, and everybody gets comfort out of it. I wish they would start something fresh. Come, now, let’s cheer up; there’s been as good fish in the sea as there are now. It shall never be said that Beriah Sellers— Come in?”
“I said it! Never give up the ship! The trial’s postponed47 till February, and we’ll save the child yet. Bless my life, what lawyers they have in New-York! Give them money to fight with and the ghost of an excuse, and they: would manage to postpone48 anything in this world, unless it might be the millennium49 or something like that. Now for work again my boy. The trial will last to the middle of March, sure; Congress ends the fourth of March. Within three days of the end of the session they will be done putting through the preliminaries then they will be ready for national business. Our bill will go through in forty-eight hours, then, and we’ll telegraph a million dollars to the jury—to the lawyers, I mean—and the verdict of the jury will be ‘Accidental murder resulting from justifiable50 insanity’—or something to, that effect, something to that effect.—Everything is dead sure, now. Come, what is the matter? What are you wilting51 down like that, for? You mustn’t be a girl, you know.”
“Oh, Colonel, I am become so used to troubles, so used to failures, disappointments, hard luck of all kinds, that a little good news breaks me right down. Everything has been so hopeless that now I can’t stand good news at all. It is too good to be true, anyway. Don’t you see how our bad luck has worked on me? My hair is getting gray, and many nights I don’t sleep at all. I wish it was all over and we could rest. I wish we could lie down and just forget everything, and let it all be just a dream that is done and can’t come back to trouble us any more. I am so tired.”
“Ah, poor child, don’t talk like that-cheer up—there’s daylight ahead. Don’t give up. You’ll have Laura again, and—Louise, and your mother, and oceans and oceans of money—and then you can go away, ever so far away somewhere, if you want to, and forget all about this infernal place. And by George I’ll go with you! I’ll go with you—now there’s my word on it. Cheer up. I’ll run out and tell the friends the news.”
And he wrung52 Washington’s hand and was about to hurry away when his companion, in a burst of grateful admiration53 said:
“I think you are the best soul and the noblest I ever knew, Colonel Sellers! and if the people only knew you as I do, you would not be tagging around here a nameless man—you would be in Congress.”
The gladness died out of the Colonel’s face, and he laid his hand upon Washington’s shoulder and said gravely:
“I have always been a friend of your family, Washington, and I think I have always tried to do right as between man and man, according to my lights. Now I don’t think there has ever been anything in my conduct that should make you feel justified54 in saying a thing like that.”
He turned, then, and walked slowly out, leaving Washington abashed55 and somewhat bewildered. When Washington had presently got his thoughts into line again, he said to himself, “Why, honestly, I only meant to compliment him—indeed I would not have hurt him for the world.”
点击收听单词发音
1 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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2 despondent | |
adj.失望的,沮丧的,泄气的 | |
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3 distress | |
n.苦恼,痛苦,不舒适;不幸;vt.使悲痛 | |
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4 arraign | |
v.提讯;控告 | |
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5 bribes | |
n.贿赂( bribe的名词复数 );向(某人)行贿,贿赂v.贿赂( bribe的第三人称单数 );向(某人)行贿,贿赂 | |
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6 immortal | |
adj.不朽的;永生的,不死的;神的 | |
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7 growl | |
v.(狗等)嗥叫,(炮等)轰鸣;n.嗥叫,轰鸣 | |
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8 minor | |
adj.较小(少)的,较次要的;n.辅修学科;vi.辅修 | |
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9 proceedings | |
n.进程,过程,议程;诉讼(程序);公报 | |
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10 bribery | |
n.贿络行为,行贿,受贿 | |
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11 trifling | |
adj.微不足道的;没什么价值的 | |
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12 thoroughly | |
adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地 | |
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13 impurities | |
不纯( impurity的名词复数 ); 不洁; 淫秽; 杂质 | |
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14 impure | |
adj.不纯净的,不洁的;不道德的,下流的 | |
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15 inquiry | |
n.打听,询问,调查,查问 | |
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16 corrupt | |
v.贿赂,收买;adj.腐败的,贪污的 | |
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17 corruption | |
n.腐败,堕落,贪污 | |
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18 inveterately | |
adv.根深蒂固地,积习地 | |
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19 civilized | |
a.有教养的,文雅的 | |
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20 disposition | |
n.性情,性格;意向,倾向;排列,部署 | |
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21 sift | |
v.筛撒,纷落,详察 | |
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22 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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23 tangibly | |
adv.可触摸的,可触知地,明白地 | |
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24 acquit | |
vt.宣判无罪;(oneself)使(自己)表现出 | |
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25 condemn | |
vt.谴责,指责;宣判(罪犯),判刑 | |
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26 investigations | |
(正式的)调查( investigation的名词复数 ); 侦查; 科学研究; 学术研究 | |
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27 lame | |
adj.跛的,(辩解、论据等)无说服力的 | |
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28 inflicted | |
把…强加给,使承受,遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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29 frightful | |
adj.可怕的;讨厌的 | |
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30 testimony | |
n.证词;见证,证明 | |
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31 confessions | |
n.承认( confession的名词复数 );自首;声明;(向神父的)忏悔 | |
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32 hurled | |
v.猛投,用力掷( hurl的过去式和过去分词 );大声叫骂 | |
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33 disapproved | |
v.不赞成( disapprove的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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34 arson | |
n.纵火,放火 | |
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35 licentiousness | |
n.放肆,无法无天 | |
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36 defiling | |
v.玷污( defile的现在分词 );污染;弄脏;纵列行进 | |
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37 vindictive | |
adj.有报仇心的,怀恨的,惩罚的 | |
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38 savage | |
adj.野蛮的;凶恶的,残暴的;n.未开化的人 | |
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39 vindicate | |
v.为…辩护或辩解,辩明;证明…正确 | |
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40 tiresome | |
adj.令人疲劳的,令人厌倦的 | |
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41 miserable | |
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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42 fervor | |
n.热诚;热心;炽热 | |
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43 prospect | |
n.前景,前途;景色,视野 | |
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44 meshes | |
网孔( mesh的名词复数 ); 网状物; 陷阱; 困境 | |
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45 lining | |
n.衬里,衬料 | |
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46 devoured | |
吞没( devour的过去式和过去分词 ); 耗尽; 津津有味地看; 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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47 postponed | |
vt.& vi.延期,缓办,(使)延迟vt.把…放在次要地位;[语]把…放在后面(或句尾)vi.(疟疾等)延缓发作(或复发) | |
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48 postpone | |
v.延期,推迟 | |
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49 millennium | |
n.一千年,千禧年;太平盛世 | |
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50 justifiable | |
adj.有理由的,无可非议的 | |
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51 wilting | |
萎蔫 | |
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52 wrung | |
绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 ); 握紧(尤指别人的手); 把(湿衣服)拧干; 绞掉(水) | |
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53 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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54 justified | |
a.正当的,有理的 | |
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55 abashed | |
adj.窘迫的,尴尬的v.使羞愧,使局促,使窘迫( abash的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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