Mr. Vincent Crummles was no sooner acquainted with the public announcement which Nicholas had made relative to the probability of his shortly ceasing to be a member of the company, than he evinced many tokens of grief and consternation2; and, in the extremity3 of his despair, even held out certain vague promises of a speedy improvement not only in the amount of his regular salary, but also in the contingent4 emoluments5 appertaining to his authorship. Finding Nicholas bent6 upon quitting the society—for he had now determined7 that, even if no further tidings came from Newman, he would, at all hazards, ease his mind by repairing to London and ascertaining8 the exact position of his sister—Mr. Crummles was fain to content himself by calculating the chances of his coming back again, and taking prompt and energetic measures to make the most of him before he went away.
‘Let me see,’ said Mr. Crummles, taking off his outlaw’s wig9, the better to arrive at a cool-headed view of the whole case. ‘Let me see. This is Wednesday night. We’ll have posters out the first thing in the morning, announcing positively10 your last appearance for tomorrow.’
‘But perhaps it may not be my last appearance, you know,’ said Nicholas. ‘Unless I am summoned away, I should be sorry to inconvenience you by leaving before the end of the week.’
‘So much the better,’ returned Mr. Crummles. ‘We can have positively your last appearance, on Thursday—re-engagement for one night more, on Friday—and, yielding to the wishes of numerous influential11 patrons, who were disappointed in obtaining seats, on Saturday. That ought to bring three very decent houses.’
‘Then I am to make three last appearances, am I?’ inquired Nicholas, smiling.
‘Yes,’ rejoined the manager, scratching his head with an air of some vexation; ‘three is not enough, and it’s very bungling12 and irregular not to have more, but if we can’t help it we can’t, so there’s no use in talking. A novelty would be very desirable. You couldn’t sing a comic song on the pony’s back, could you?’
‘No,’ replied Nicholas, ‘I couldn’t indeed.’
‘It has drawn13 money before now,’ said Mr. Crummles, with a look of disappointment. ‘What do you think of a brilliant display of fireworks?’
‘That it would be rather expensive,’ replied Nicholas, drily.
‘Eighteen-pence would do it,’ said Mr. Crummles. ‘You on the top of a pair of steps with the phenomenon in an attitude; “Farewell!” on a transparency behind; and nine people at the wings with a squib in each hand—all the dozen and a half going off at once—it would be very grand—awful from the front, quite awful.’
As Nicholas appeared by no means impressed with the solemnity of the proposed effect, but, on the contrary, received the proposition in a most irreverent manner, and laughed at it very heartily14, Mr. Crummles abandoned the project in its birth, and gloomily observed that they must make up the best bill they could with combats and hornpipes, and so stick to the legitimate15 drama.
For the purpose of carrying this object into instant execution, the manager at once repaired to a small dressing-room, adjacent, where Mrs Crummles was then occupied in exchanging the habiliments of a melodramatic empress for the ordinary attire17 of matrons in the nineteenth century. And with the assistance of this lady, and the accomplished18 Mrs. Grudden (who had quite a genius for making out bills, being a great hand at throwing in the notes of admiration19, and knowing from long experience exactly where the largest capitals ought to go), he seriously applied20 himself to the composition of the poster.
‘Heigho!’ sighed Nicholas, as he threw himself back in the prompter’s chair, after telegraphing the needful directions to Smike, who had been playing a meagre tailor in the interlude, with one skirt to his coat, and a little pocket-handkerchief with a large hole in it, and a woollen nightcap, and a red nose, and other distinctive21 marks peculiar22 to tailors on the stage. ‘Heigho! I wish all this were over.’
‘It was an ungallant speech, certainly,’ said Nicholas, looking up to see who the speaker was, and recognising Miss Snevellicci. ‘I would not have made it if I had known you had been within hearing.’
‘What a dear that Mr. Digby is!’ said Miss Snevellicci, as the tailor went off on the opposite side, at the end of the piece, with great applause. (Smike’s theatrical name was Digby.)
‘I’ll tell him presently, for his gratification, that you said so,’ returned Nicholas.
‘Oh you naughty thing!’ rejoined Miss Snevellicci. ‘I don’t know though, that I should much mind his knowing my opinion of him; with some other people, indeed, it might be—’ Here Miss Snevellicci stopped, as though waiting to be questioned, but no questioning came, for Nicholas was thinking about more serious matters.
‘How kind it is of you,’ resumed Miss Snevellicci, after a short silence, ‘to sit waiting here for him night after night, night after night, no matter how tired you are; and taking so much pains with him, and doing it all with as much delight and readiness as if you were coining gold by it!’
‘He well deserves all the kindness I can show him, and a great deal more,’ said Nicholas. ‘He is the most grateful, single-hearted, affectionate creature that ever breathed.’
‘So odd, too,’ remarked Miss Snevellicci, ‘isn’t he?’
‘God help him, and those who have made him so; he is indeed,’ rejoined Nicholas, shaking his head.
‘He is such a devilish close chap,’ said Mr. Folair, who had come up a little before, and now joined in the conversation. ‘Nobody can ever get anything out of him.’
‘What should they get out of him?’ asked Nicholas, turning round with some abruptness24.
‘Zooks! what a fire-eater you are, Johnson!’ returned Mr. Folair, pulling up the heel of his dancing shoe. ‘I’m only talking of the natural curiosity of the people here, to know what he has been about all his life.’
‘Poor fellow! it is pretty plain, I should think, that he has not the intellect to have been about anything of much importance to them or anybody else,’ said Nicholas.
‘Ay,’ rejoined the actor, contemplating25 the effect of his face in a lamp reflector, ‘but that involves the whole question, you know.’
‘What question?’ asked Nicholas.
‘Why, the who he is and what he is, and how you two, who are so different, came to be such close companions,’ replied Mr. Folair, delighted with the opportunity of saying something disagreeable. ‘That’s in everybody’s mouth.’
‘The “everybody” of the theatre, I suppose?’ said Nicholas, contemptuously.
‘In it and out of it too,’ replied the actor. ‘Why, you know, Lenville says—’
‘I thought I had silenced him effectually,’ interrupted Nicholas, reddening.
‘Perhaps you have,’ rejoined the immovable Mr. Folair; ‘if you have, he said this before he was silenced: Lenville says that you’re a regular stick of an actor, and that it’s only the mystery about you that has caused you to go down with the people here, and that Crummles keeps it up for his own sake; though Lenville says he don’t believe there’s anything at all in it, except your having got into a scrape and run away from somewhere, for doing something or other.’
‘Oh!’ said Nicholas, forcing a smile.
‘That’s a part of what he says,’ added Mr. Folair. ‘I mention it as the friend of both parties, and in strict confidence. I don’t agree with him, you know. He says he takes Digby to be more knave26 than fool; and old Fluggers, who does the heavy business you know, he says that when he delivered messages at Covent Garden the season before last, there used to be a pickpocket27 hovering28 about the coach-stand who had exactly the face of Digby; though, as he very properly says, Digby may not be the same, but only his brother, or some near relation.’
‘Oh!’ cried Nicholas again.
‘Yes,’ said Mr. Folair, with undisturbed calmness, ‘that’s what they say. I thought I’d tell you, because really you ought to know. Oh! here’s this blessed phenomenon at last. Ugh, you little imposition, I should like to—quite ready, my darling,—humbug—Ring up, Mrs. G., and let the favourite wake ‘em.’
Uttering in a loud voice such of the latter allusions29 as were complimentary30 to the unconscious phenomenon, and giving the rest in a confidential31 ‘aside’ to Nicholas, Mr. Folair followed the ascent32 of the curtain with his eyes, regarded with a sneer33 the reception of Miss Crummles as the Maiden34, and, falling back a step or two to advance with the better effect, uttered a preliminary howl, and ‘went on’ chattering35 his teeth and brandishing36 his tin tomahawk as the Indian Savage37.
‘So these are some of the stories they invent about us, and bandy from mouth to mouth!’ thought Nicholas. ‘If a man would commit an inexpiable offence against any society, large or small, let him be successful. They will forgive him any crime but that.’
‘You surely don’t mind what that malicious38 creature says, Mr. Johnson?’ observed Miss Snevellicci in her most winning tones.
‘Not I,’ replied Nicholas. ‘If I were going to remain here, I might think it worth my while to embroil39 myself. As it is, let them talk till they are hoarse40. But here,’ added Nicholas, as Smike approached, ‘here comes the subject of a portion of their good-nature, so let he and I say good night together.’
‘No, I will not let either of you say anything of the kind,’ returned Miss Snevellicci. ‘You must come home and see mama, who only came to Portsmouth today, and is dying to behold41 you. Led, my dear, persuade Mr. Johnson.’
‘Oh, I’m sure,’ returned Miss Ledrook, with considerable vivacity42, ‘if you can’t persuade him—’ Miss Ledrook said no more, but intimated, by a dexterous43 playfulness, that if Miss Snevellicci couldn’t persuade him, nobody could.
‘Mr. and Mrs. Lillyvick have taken lodgings44 in our house, and share our sitting-room45 for the present,’ said Miss Snevellicci. ‘Won’t that induce you?’
‘Surely,’ returned Nicholas, ‘I can require no possible inducement beyond your invitation.’
‘Oh no! I dare say,’ rejoined Miss Snevellicci. And Miss Ledrook said, ‘Upon my word!’ Upon which Miss Snevellicci said that Miss Ledrook was a giddy thing; and Miss Ledrook said that Miss Snevellicci needn’t colour up quite so much; and Miss Snevellicci beat Miss Ledrook, and Miss Ledrook beat Miss Snevellicci.
‘Come,’ said Miss Ledrook, ‘it’s high time we were there, or we shall have poor Mrs. Snevellicci thinking that you have run away with her daughter, Mr Johnson; and then we should have a pretty to-do.’
‘My dear Led,’ remonstrated46 Miss Snevellicci, ‘how you do talk!’
Miss Ledrook made no answer, but taking Smike’s arm in hers, left her friend and Nicholas to follow at their pleasure; which it pleased them, or rather pleased Nicholas, who had no great fancy for a tete-a-tete under the circumstances, to do at once.
There were not wanting matters of conversation when they reached the street, for it turned out that Miss Snevellicci had a small basket to carry home, and Miss Ledrook a small bandbox, both containing such minor47 articles of theatrical costume as the lady performers usually carried to and fro every evening. Nicholas would insist upon carrying the basket, and Miss Snevellicci would insist upon carrying it herself, which gave rise to a struggle, in which Nicholas captured the basket and the bandbox likewise. Then Nicholas said, that he wondered what could possibly be inside the basket, and attempted to peep in, whereat Miss Snevellicci screamed, and declared that if she thought he had seen, she was sure she should faint away. This declaration was followed by a similar attempt on the bandbox, and similar demonstrations48 on the part of Miss Ledrook, and then both ladies vowed49 that they wouldn’t move a step further until Nicholas had promised that he wouldn’t offer to peep again. At last Nicholas pledged himself to betray no further curiosity, and they walked on: both ladies giggling50 very much, and declaring that they never had seen such a wicked creature in all their born days—never.
Lightening the way with such pleasantry as this, they arrived at the tailor’s house in no time; and here they made quite a little party, there being present besides Mr. Lillyvick and Mrs. Lillyvick, not only Miss Snevellicci’s mama, but her papa also. And an uncommonly51 fine man Miss Snevellicci’s papa was, with a hook nose, and a white forehead, and curly black hair, and high cheek bones, and altogether quite a handsome face, only a little pimply53 as though with drinking. He had a very broad chest had Miss Snevellicci’s papa, and he wore a threadbare blue dress-coat buttoned with gilt54 buttons tight across it; and he no sooner saw Nicholas come into the room, than he whipped the two forefingers55 of his right hand in between the two centre buttons, and sticking his other arm gracefully57 a-kimbo seemed to say, ‘Now, here I am, my buck58, and what have you got to say to me?’
Such was, and in such an attitude sat Miss Snevellicci’s papa, who had been in the profession ever since he had first played the ten-year-old imps59 in the Christmas pantomimes; who could sing a little, dance a little, fence a little, act a little, and do everything a little, but not much; who had been sometimes in the ballet, and sometimes in the chorus, at every theatre in London; who was always selected in virtue60 of his figure to play the military visitors and the speechless noblemen; who always wore a smart dress, and came on arm-in-arm with a smart lady in short petticoats,—and always did it too with such an air that people in the pit had been several times known to cry out ‘Bravo!’ under the impression that he was somebody. Such was Miss Snevellicci’s papa, upon whom some envious61 persons cast the imputation62 that he occasionally beat Miss Snevellicci’s mama, who was still a dancer, with a neat little figure and some remains63 of good looks; and who now sat, as she danced,—being rather too old for the full glare of the foot-lights,—in the background.
To these good people Nicholas was presented with much formality. The introduction being completed, Miss Snevellicci’s papa (who was scented64 with rum-and-water) said that he was delighted to make the acquaintance of a gentleman so highly talented; and furthermore remarked, that there hadn’t been such a hit made—no, not since the first appearance of his friend Mr. Glavormelly, at the Coburg.
‘You have seen him, sir?’ said Miss Snevellicci’s papa.
‘No, really I never did,’ replied Nicholas.
‘You never saw my friend Glavormelly, sir!’ said Miss Snevellicci’s papa. ‘Then you have never seen acting65 yet. If he had lived—’
‘Oh, he is dead, is he?’ interrupted Nicholas.
‘He is,’ said Mr. Snevellicci, ‘but he isn’t in Westminster Abbey, more’s the shame. He was a—. Well, no matter. He is gone to that bourne from whence no traveller returns. I hope he is appreciated there.’
So saying Miss Snevellicci’s papa rubbed the tip of his nose with a very yellow silk handkerchief, and gave the company to understand that these recollections overcame him.
‘Well, Mr. Lillyvick,’ said Nicholas, ‘and how are you?’
‘Quite well, sir,’ replied the collector. ‘There is nothing like the married state, sir, depend upon it.’
‘Indeed!’ said Nicholas, laughing.
‘Ah! nothing like it, sir,’ replied Mr. Lillyvick solemnly. ‘How do you think,’ whispered the collector, drawing him aside, ‘how do you think she looks tonight?’
‘As handsome as ever,’ replied Nicholas, glancing at the late Miss Petowker.
‘Why, there’s air about her, sir,’ whispered the collector, ‘that I never saw in anybody. Look at her now she moves to put the kettle on. There! Isn’t it fascination66, sir?’
‘You’re a lucky man,’ said Nicholas.
‘Ha, ha, ha!’ rejoined the collector. ‘No. Do you think I am though, eh? Perhaps I may be, perhaps I may be. I say, I couldn’t have done much better if I had been a young man, could I? You couldn’t have done much better yourself, could you—eh—could you?’ With such inquires, and many more such, Mr. Lillyvick jerked his elbow into Nicholas’s side, and chuckled67 till his face became quite purple in the attempt to keep down his satisfaction.
By this time the cloth had been laid under the joint68 superintendence of all the ladies, upon two tables put together, one being high and narrow, and the other low and broad. There were oysters69 at the top, sausages at the bottom, a pair of snuffers in the centre, and baked potatoes wherever it was most convenient to put them. Two additional chairs were brought in from the bedroom: Miss Snevellicci sat at the head of the table, and Mr Lillyvick at the foot; and Nicholas had not only the honour of sitting next Miss Snevellicci, but of having Miss Snevellicci’s mama on his right hand, and Miss Snevellicci’s papa over the way. In short, he was the hero of the feast; and when the table was cleared and something warm introduced, Miss Snevellicci’s papa got up and proposed his health in a speech containing such affecting allusions to his coming departure, that Miss Snevellicci wept, and was compelled to retire into the bedroom.
‘Hush! Don’t take any notice of it,’ said Miss Ledrook, peeping in from the bedroom. ‘Say, when she comes back, that she exerts herself too much.’
Miss Ledrook eked70 out this speech with so many mysterious nods and frowns before she shut the door again, that a profound silence came upon all the company, during which Miss Snevellicci’s papa looked very big indeed—several sizes larger than life—at everybody in turn, but particularly at Nicholas, and kept on perpetually emptying his tumbler and filling it again, until the ladies returned in a cluster, with Miss Snevellicci among them.
‘You needn’t alarm yourself a bit, Mr. Snevellicci,’ said Mrs. Lillyvick. ‘She is only a little weak and nervous; she has been so ever since the morning.’
‘Oh,’ said Mr. Snevellicci, ‘that’s all, is it?’
‘Oh yes, that’s all. Don’t make a fuss about it,’ cried all the ladies together.
Now this was not exactly the kind of reply suited to Mr. Snevellicci’s importance as a man and a father, so he picked out the unfortunate Mrs Snevellicci, and asked her what the devil she meant by talking to him in that way.
‘Dear me, my dear!’ said Mrs. Snevellicci.
‘Don’t call me your dear, ma’am,’ said Mr. Snevellicci, ‘if you please.’
‘Pray, pa, don’t,’ interposed Miss Snevellicci.
‘Don’t what, my child?’
‘Talk in that way.’
‘Why not?’ said Mr. Snevellicci. ‘I hope you don’t suppose there’s anybody here who is to prevent my talking as I like?’
‘Nobody wants to, pa,’ rejoined his daughter.
‘Nobody would if they did want to,’ said Mr. Snevellicci. ‘I am not ashamed of myself, Snevellicci is my name; I’m to be found in Broad Court, Bow Street, when I’m in town. If I’m not at home, let any man ask for me at the stage-door. Damme, they know me at the stage-door I suppose. Most men have seen my portrait at the cigar shop round the corner. I’ve been mentioned in the newspapers before now, haven’t I? Talk! I’ll tell you what; if I found out that any man had been tampering71 with the affections of my daughter, I wouldn’t talk. I’d astonish him without talking; that’s my way.’
So saying, Mr. Snevellicci struck the palm of his left hand three smart blows with his clenched72 fist; pulled a phantom73 nose with his right thumb and forefinger56, and swallowed another glassful at a draught74. ‘That’s my way,’ repeated Mr. Snevellicci.
Most public characters have their failings; and the truth is that Mr Snevellicci was a little addicted75 to drinking; or, if the whole truth must be told, that he was scarcely ever sober. He knew in his cups three distinct stages of intoxication,—the dignified76—the quarrelsome—the amorous77. When professionally engaged he never got beyond the dignified; in private circles he went through all three, passing from one to another with a rapidity of transition often rather perplexing to those who had not the honour of his acquaintance.
Thus Mr. Snevellicci had no sooner swallowed another glassful than he smiled upon all present in happy forgetfulness of having exhibited symptoms of pugnacity78, and proposed ‘The ladies! Bless their hearts!’ in a most vivacious79 manner.
‘I love ‘em,’ said Mr. Snevellicci, looking round the table, ‘I love ‘em, every one.’
‘Not every one,’ reasoned Mr. Lillyvick, mildly.
‘Yes, every one,’ repeated Mr. Snevellicci.
‘That would include the married ladies, you know,’ said Mr. Lillyvick.
‘I love them too, sir,’ said Mr. Snevellicci.
The collector looked into the surrounding faces with an aspect of grave astonishment80, seeming to say, ‘This is a nice man!’ and appeared a little surprised that Mrs. Lillyvick’s manner yielded no evidences of horror and indignation.
‘One good turn deserves another,’ said Mr. Snevellicci. ‘I love them and they love me.’ And as if this avowal81 were not made in sufficient disregard and defiance82 of all moral obligations, what did Mr. Snevellicci do? He winked84—winked openly and undisguisedly; winked with his right eye—upon Henrietta Lillyvick!
The collector fell back in his chair in the intensity85 of his astonishment. If anybody had winked at her as Henrietta Petowker, it would have been indecorous in the last degree; but as Mrs. Lillyvick! While he thought of it in a cold perspiration86, and wondered whether it was possible that he could be dreaming, Mr. Snevellicci repeated the wink83, and drinking to Mrs Lillyvick in dumb show, actually blew her a kiss! Mr. Lillyvick left his chair, walked straight up to the other end of the table, and fell upon him—literally fell upon him—instantaneously. Mr. Lillyvick was no light weight, and consequently when he fell upon Mr. Snevellicci, Mr. Snevellicci fell under the table. Mr. Lillyvick followed him, and the ladies screamed.
‘What is the matter with the men! Are they mad?’ cried Nicholas, diving under the table, dragging up the collector by main force, and thrusting him, all doubled up, into a chair, as if he had been a stuffed figure. ‘What do you mean to do? What do you want to do? What is the matter with you?’
While Nicholas raised up the collector, Smike had performed the same office for Mr. Snevellicci, who now regarded his late adversary87 in tipsy amazement88.
‘Look here, sir,’ replied Mr. Lillyvick, pointing to his astonished wife, ‘here is purity and elegance89 combined, whose feelings have been outraged—violated, sir!’
‘Lor, what nonsense he talks!’ exclaimed Mrs. Lillyvick in answer to the inquiring look of Nicholas. ‘Nobody has said anything to me.’
‘Said, Henrietta!’ cried the collector. ‘Didn’t I see him—’ Mr Lillyvick couldn’t bring himself to utter the word, but he counterfeited90 the motion of the eye.
‘Well!’ cried Mrs. Lillyvick. ‘Do you suppose nobody is ever to look at me? A pretty thing to be married indeed, if that was law!’
‘You didn’t mind it?’ cried the collector.
‘Mind it!’ repeated Mrs. Lillyvick contemptuously. ‘You ought to go down on your knees and beg everybody’s pardon, that you ought.’
‘Pardon, my dear?’ said the dismayed collector.
‘Yes, and mine first,’ replied Mrs. Lillyvick. ‘Do you suppose I ain’t the best judge of what’s proper and what’s improper91?’
‘To be sure,’ cried all the ladies. ‘Do you suppose we shouldn’t be the first to speak, if there was anything that ought to be taken notice of?’
‘Do you suppose they don’t know, sir?’ said Miss Snevellicci’s papa, pulling up his collar, and muttering something about a punching of heads, and being only withheld92 by considerations of age. With which Miss Snevellicci’s papa looked steadily93 and sternly at Mr. Lillyvick for some seconds, and then rising deliberately94 from his chair, kissed the ladies all round, beginning with Mrs. Lillyvick.
The unhappy collector looked piteously at his wife, as if to see whether there was any one trait of Miss Petowker left in Mrs. Lillyvick, and finding too surely that there was not, begged pardon of all the company with great humility95, and sat down such a crest-fallen, dispirited, disenchanted man, that despite all his selfishness and dotage96, he was quite an object of compassion97.
Miss Snevellicci’s papa being greatly exalted98 by this triumph, and incontestable proof of his popularity with the fair sex, quickly grew convivial99, not to say uproarious; volunteering more than one song of no inconsiderable length, and regaling the social circle between-whiles with recollections of divers100 splendid women who had been supposed to entertain a passion for himself, several of whom he toasted by name, taking occasion to remark at the same time that if he had been a little more alive to his own interest, he might have been rolling at that moment in his chariot-and-four. These reminiscences appeared to awaken101 no very torturing pangs102 in the breast of Mrs. Snevellicci, who was sufficiently103 occupied in descanting to Nicholas upon the manifold accomplishments104 and merits of her daughter. Nor was the young lady herself at all behind-hand in displaying her choicest allurements105; but these, heightened as they were by the artifices106 of Miss Ledrook, had no effect whatever in increasing the attentions of Nicholas, who, with the precedent107 of Miss Squeers still fresh in his memory, steadily resisted every fascination, and placed so strict a guard upon his behaviour that when he had taken his leave the ladies were unanimous in pronouncing him quite a monster of insensibility.
Next day the posters appeared in due course, and the public were informed, in all the colours of the rainbow, and in letters afflicted108 with every possible variation of spinal109 deformity, how that Mr. Johnson would have the honour of making his last appearance that evening, and how that an early application for places was requested, in consequence of the extraordinary overflow110 attendant on his performances,—it being a remarkable111 fact in theatrical history, but one long since established beyond dispute, that it is a hopeless endeavour to attract people to a theatre unless they can be first brought to believe that they will never get into it.
Nicholas was somewhat at a loss, on entering the theatre at night, to account for the unusual perturbation and excitement visible in the countenances112 of all the company, but he was not long in doubt as to the cause, for before he could make any inquiry113 respecting it Mr. Crummles approached, and in an agitated114 tone of voice, informed him that there was a London manager in the boxes.
‘It’s the phenomenon, depend upon it, sir,’ said Crummles, dragging Nicholas to the little hole in the curtain that he might look through at the London manager. ‘I have not the smallest doubt it’s the fame of the phenomenon—that’s the man; him in the great-coat and no shirt-collar. She shall have ten pound a week, Johnson; she shall not appear on the London boards for a farthing less. They shan’t engage her either, unless they engage Mrs. Crummles too—twenty pound a week for the pair; or I’ll tell you what, I’ll throw in myself and the two boys, and they shall have the family for thirty. I can’t say fairer than that. They must take us all, if none of us will go without the others. That’s the way some of the London people do, and it always answers. Thirty pound a week—it’s too cheap, Johnson. It’s dirt cheap.’
Nicholas replied, that it certainly was; and Mr. Vincent Crummles taking several huge pinches of snuff to compose his feelings, hurried away to tell Mrs. Crummles that he had quite settled the only terms that could be accepted, and had resolved not to abate115 one single farthing.
When everybody was dressed and the curtain went up, the excitement occasioned by the presence of the London manager increased a thousand-fold. Everybody happened to know that the London manager had come down specially116 to witness his or her own performance, and all were in a flutter of anxiety and expectation. Some of those who were not on in the first scene, hurried to the wings, and there stretched their necks to have a peep at him; others stole up into the two little private boxes over the stage-doors, and from that position reconnoitred the London manager. Once the London manager was seen to smile—he smiled at the comic countryman’s pretending to catch a blue-bottle, while Mrs. Crummles was making her greatest effect. ‘Very good, my fine fellow,’ said Mr. Crummles, shaking his fist at the comic countryman when he came off, ‘you leave this company next Saturday night.’
In the same way, everybody who was on the stage beheld117 no audience but one individual; everybody played to the London manager. When Mr. Lenville in a sudden burst of passion called the emperor a miscreant118, and then biting his glove, said, ‘But I must dissemble,’ instead of looking gloomily at the boards and so waiting for his cue, as is proper in such cases, he kept his eye fixed119 upon the London manager. When Miss Bravassa sang her song at her lover, who according to custom stood ready to shake hands with her between the verses, they looked, not at each other, but at the London manager. Mr. Crummles died point blank at him; and when the two guards came in to take the body off after a very hard death, it was seen to open its eyes and glance at the London manager. At length the London manager was discovered to be asleep, and shortly after that he woke up and went away, whereupon all the company fell foul120 of the unhappy comic countryman, declaring that his buffoonery was the sole cause; and Mr. Crummles said, that he had put up with it a long time, but that he really couldn’t stand it any longer, and therefore would feel obliged by his looking out for another engagement.
All this was the occasion of much amusement to Nicholas, whose only feeling upon the subject was one of sincere satisfaction that the great man went away before he appeared. He went through his part in the two last pieces as briskly as he could, and having been received with unbounded favour and unprecedented121 applause—so said the bills for next day, which had been printed an hour or two before—he took Smike’s arm and walked home to bed.
With the post next morning came a letter from Newman Noggs, very inky, very short, very dirty, very small, and very mysterious, urging Nicholas to return to London instantly; not to lose an instant; to be there that night if possible.
‘I will,’ said Nicholas. ‘Heaven knows I have remained here for the best, and sorely against my own will; but even now I may have dallied122 too long. What can have happened? Smike, my good fellow, here—take my purse. Put our things together, and pay what little debts we owe—quick, and we shall be in time for the morning coach. I will only tell them that we are going, and will return to you immediately.’
So saying, he took his hat, and hurrying away to the lodgings of Mr Crummles, applied his hand to the knocker with such hearty123 good-will, that he awakened124 that gentleman, who was still in bed, and caused Mr. Bulph the pilot to take his morning’s pipe very nearly out of his mouth in the extremity of his surprise.
The door being opened, Nicholas ran upstairs without any ceremony, and bursting into the darkened sitting-room on the one-pair front, found that the two Master Crummleses had sprung out of the sofa-bedstead and were putting on their clothes with great rapidity, under the impression that it was the middle of the night, and the next house was on fire.
Before he could undeceive them, Mr. Crummles came down in a flannel125 gown and nightcap; and to him Nicholas briefly126 explained that circumstances had occurred which rendered it necessary for him to repair to London immediately.
‘So goodbye,’ said Nicholas; ‘goodbye, goodbye.’
He was half-way downstairs before Mr. Crummles had sufficiently recovered his surprise to gasp127 out something about the posters.
‘I can’t help it,’ replied Nicholas. ‘Set whatever I may have earned this week against them, or if that will not repay you, say at once what will. Quick, quick.’
‘We’ll cry quits about that,’ returned Crummles. ‘But can’t we have one last night more?’
‘Not an hour—not a minute,’ replied Nicholas, impatiently.
‘Won’t you stop to say something to Mrs. Crummles?’ asked the manager, following him down to the door.
‘I couldn’t stop if it were to prolong my life a score of years,’ rejoined Nicholas. ‘Here, take my hand, and with it my hearty thanks.—Oh! that I should have been fooling here!’
Accompanying these words with an impatient stamp upon the ground, he tore himself from the manager’s detaining grasp, and darting128 rapidly down the street was out of sight in an instant.
‘Dear me, dear me,’ said Mr. Crummles, looking wistfully towards the point at which he had just disappeared; ‘if he only acted like that, what a deal of money he’d draw! He should have kept upon this circuit; he’d have been very useful to me. But he don’t know what’s good for him. He is an impetuous youth. Young men are rash, very rash.’
Mr. Crummles being in a moralising mood, might possibly have moralised for some minutes longer if he had not mechanically put his hand towards his waistcoat pocket, where he was accustomed to keep his snuff. The absence of any pocket at all in the usual direction, suddenly recalled to his recollection the fact that he had no waistcoat on; and this leading him to a contemplation of the extreme scantiness129 of his attire, he shut the door abruptly130, and retired131 upstairs with great precipitation.
Smike had made good speed while Nicholas was absent, and with his help everything was soon ready for their departure. They scarcely stopped to take a morsel132 of breakfast, and in less than half an hour arrived at the coach-office: quite out of breath with the haste they had made to reach it in time. There were yet a few minutes to spare, so, having secured the places, Nicholas hurried into a slopseller’s hard by, and bought Smike a great-coat. It would have been rather large for a substantial yeoman, but the shopman averring133 (and with considerable truth) that it was a most uncommon52 fit, Nicholas would have purchased it in his impatience134 if it had been twice the size.
As they hurried up to the coach, which was now in the open street and all ready for starting, Nicholas was not a little astonished to find himself suddenly clutched in a close and violent embrace, which nearly took him off his legs; nor was his amazement at all lessened135 by hearing the voice of Mr. Crummles exclaim, ‘It is he—my friend, my friend!’
‘Bless my heart,’ cried Nicholas, struggling in the manager’s arms, ‘what are you about?’
The manager made no reply, but strained him to his breast again, exclaiming as he did so, ‘Farewell, my noble, my lion-hearted boy!’
0427m
Original
In fact, Mr. Crummles, who could never lose any opportunity for professional display, had turned out for the express purpose of taking a public farewell of Nicholas; and to render it the more imposing136, he was now, to that young gentleman’s most profound annoyance137, inflicting138 upon him a rapid succession of stage embraces, which, as everybody knows, are performed by the embracer’s laying his or her chin on the shoulder of the object of affection, and looking over it. This Mr. Crummles did in the highest style of melodrama16, pouring forth139 at the same time all the most dismal140 forms of farewell he could think of, out of the stock pieces. Nor was this all, for the elder Master Crummles was going through a similar ceremony with Smike; while Master Percy Crummles, with a very little second-hand141 camlet cloak, worn theatrically142 over his left shoulder, stood by, in the attitude of an attendant officer, waiting to convey the two victims to the scaffold.
The lookers-on laughed very heartily, and as it was as well to put a good face upon the matter, Nicholas laughed too when he had succeeded in disengaging himself; and rescuing the astonished Smike, climbed up to the coach roof after him, and kissed his hand in honour of the absent Mrs Crummles as they rolled away.
点击收听单词发音
1 theatrical | |
adj.剧场的,演戏的;做戏似的,做作的 | |
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2 consternation | |
n.大为吃惊,惊骇 | |
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3 extremity | |
n.末端,尽头;尽力;终极;极度 | |
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4 contingent | |
adj.视条件而定的;n.一组,代表团,分遣队 | |
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5 emoluments | |
n.报酬,薪水( emolument的名词复数 ) | |
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6 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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7 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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8 ascertaining | |
v.弄清,确定,查明( ascertain的现在分词 ) | |
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9 wig | |
n.假发 | |
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10 positively | |
adv.明确地,断然,坚决地;实在,确实 | |
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11 influential | |
adj.有影响的,有权势的 | |
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12 bungling | |
adj.笨拙的,粗劣的v.搞糟,完不成( bungle的现在分词 );笨手笨脚地做;失败;完不成 | |
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13 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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14 heartily | |
adv.衷心地,诚恳地,十分,很 | |
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15 legitimate | |
adj.合法的,合理的,合乎逻辑的;v.使合法 | |
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16 melodrama | |
n.音乐剧;情节剧 | |
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17 attire | |
v.穿衣,装扮[同]array;n.衣着;盛装 | |
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18 accomplished | |
adj.有才艺的;有造诣的;达到了的 | |
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19 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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20 applied | |
adj.应用的;v.应用,适用 | |
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21 distinctive | |
adj.特别的,有特色的,与众不同的 | |
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22 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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23 plaintive | |
adj.可怜的,伤心的 | |
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24 abruptness | |
n. 突然,唐突 | |
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25 contemplating | |
深思,细想,仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 ); 注视,凝视; 考虑接受(发生某事的可能性); 深思熟虑,沉思,苦思冥想 | |
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26 knave | |
n.流氓;(纸牌中的)杰克 | |
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27 pickpocket | |
n.扒手;v.扒窃 | |
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28 hovering | |
鸟( hover的现在分词 ); 靠近(某事物); (人)徘徊; 犹豫 | |
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29 allusions | |
暗指,间接提到( allusion的名词复数 ) | |
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30 complimentary | |
adj.赠送的,免费的,赞美的,恭维的 | |
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31 confidential | |
adj.秘(机)密的,表示信任的,担任机密工作的 | |
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32 ascent | |
n.(声望或地位)提高;上升,升高;登高 | |
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33 sneer | |
v.轻蔑;嘲笑;n.嘲笑,讥讽的言语 | |
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34 maiden | |
n.少女,处女;adj.未婚的,纯洁的,无经验的 | |
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35 chattering | |
n. (机器振动发出的)咔嗒声,(鸟等)鸣,啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的,啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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36 brandishing | |
v.挥舞( brandish的现在分词 );炫耀 | |
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37 savage | |
adj.野蛮的;凶恶的,残暴的;n.未开化的人 | |
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38 malicious | |
adj.有恶意的,心怀恶意的 | |
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39 embroil | |
vt.拖累;牵连;使复杂 | |
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40 hoarse | |
adj.嘶哑的,沙哑的 | |
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41 behold | |
v.看,注视,看到 | |
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42 vivacity | |
n.快活,活泼,精神充沛 | |
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43 dexterous | |
adj.灵敏的;灵巧的 | |
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44 lodgings | |
n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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45 sitting-room | |
n.(BrE)客厅,起居室 | |
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46 remonstrated | |
v.抗议( remonstrate的过去式和过去分词 );告诫 | |
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47 minor | |
adj.较小(少)的,较次要的;n.辅修学科;vi.辅修 | |
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48 demonstrations | |
证明( demonstration的名词复数 ); 表明; 表达; 游行示威 | |
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49 vowed | |
起誓,发誓(vow的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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50 giggling | |
v.咯咯地笑( giggle的现在分词 ) | |
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51 uncommonly | |
adv. 稀罕(极,非常) | |
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52 uncommon | |
adj.罕见的,非凡的,不平常的 | |
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53 pimply | |
adj.肿泡的;有疙瘩的;多粉刺的;有丘疹的 | |
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54 gilt | |
adj.镀金的;n.金边证券 | |
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55 forefingers | |
n.食指( forefinger的名词复数 ) | |
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56 forefinger | |
n.食指 | |
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57 gracefully | |
ad.大大方方地;优美地 | |
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58 buck | |
n.雄鹿,雄兔;v.马离地跳跃 | |
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59 imps | |
n.(故事中的)小恶魔( imp的名词复数 );小魔鬼;小淘气;顽童 | |
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60 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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61 envious | |
adj.嫉妒的,羡慕的 | |
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62 imputation | |
n.归罪,责难 | |
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63 remains | |
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
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64 scented | |
adj.有香味的;洒香水的;有气味的v.嗅到(scent的过去分词) | |
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65 acting | |
n.演戏,行为,假装;adj.代理的,临时的,演出用的 | |
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66 fascination | |
n.令人着迷的事物,魅力,迷恋 | |
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67 chuckled | |
轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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68 joint | |
adj.联合的,共同的;n.关节,接合处;v.连接,贴合 | |
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69 oysters | |
牡蛎( oyster的名词复数 ) | |
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70 eked | |
v.(靠节省用量)使…的供应持久( eke的过去式和过去分词 );节约使用;竭力维持生计;勉强度日 | |
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71 tampering | |
v.窜改( tamper的现在分词 );篡改;(用不正当手段)影响;瞎摆弄 | |
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72 clenched | |
v.紧握,抓紧,咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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73 phantom | |
n.幻影,虚位,幽灵;adj.错觉的,幻影的,幽灵的 | |
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74 draught | |
n.拉,牵引,拖;一网(饮,吸,阵);顿服药量,通风;v.起草,设计 | |
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75 addicted | |
adj.沉溺于....的,对...上瘾的 | |
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76 dignified | |
a.可敬的,高贵的 | |
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77 amorous | |
adj.多情的;有关爱情的 | |
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78 pugnacity | |
n.好斗,好战 | |
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79 vivacious | |
adj.活泼的,快活的 | |
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80 astonishment | |
n.惊奇,惊异 | |
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81 avowal | |
n.公开宣称,坦白承认 | |
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82 defiance | |
n.挑战,挑衅,蔑视,违抗 | |
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83 wink | |
n.眨眼,使眼色,瞬间;v.眨眼,使眼色,闪烁 | |
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84 winked | |
v.使眼色( wink的过去式和过去分词 );递眼色(表示友好或高兴等);(指光)闪烁;闪亮 | |
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85 intensity | |
n.强烈,剧烈;强度;烈度 | |
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86 perspiration | |
n.汗水;出汗 | |
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87 adversary | |
adj.敌手,对手 | |
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88 amazement | |
n.惊奇,惊讶 | |
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89 elegance | |
n.优雅;优美,雅致;精致,巧妙 | |
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90 counterfeited | |
v.仿制,造假( counterfeit的过去分词 ) | |
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91 improper | |
adj.不适当的,不合适的,不正确的,不合礼仪的 | |
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92 withheld | |
withhold过去式及过去分词 | |
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93 steadily | |
adv.稳定地;不变地;持续地 | |
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94 deliberately | |
adv.审慎地;蓄意地;故意地 | |
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95 humility | |
n.谦逊,谦恭 | |
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96 dotage | |
n.年老体衰;年老昏聩 | |
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97 compassion | |
n.同情,怜悯 | |
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98 exalted | |
adj.(地位等)高的,崇高的;尊贵的,高尚的 | |
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99 convivial | |
adj.狂欢的,欢乐的 | |
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100 divers | |
adj.不同的;种种的 | |
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101 awaken | |
vi.醒,觉醒;vt.唤醒,使觉醒,唤起,激起 | |
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102 pangs | |
突然的剧痛( pang的名词复数 ); 悲痛 | |
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103 sufficiently | |
adv.足够地,充分地 | |
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104 accomplishments | |
n.造诣;完成( accomplishment的名词复数 );技能;成绩;成就 | |
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105 allurements | |
n.诱惑( allurement的名词复数 );吸引;诱惑物;有诱惑力的事物 | |
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106 artifices | |
n.灵巧( artifice的名词复数 );诡计;巧妙办法;虚伪行为 | |
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107 precedent | |
n.先例,前例;惯例;adj.在前的,在先的 | |
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108 afflicted | |
使受痛苦,折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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109 spinal | |
adj.针的,尖刺的,尖刺状突起的;adj.脊骨的,脊髓的 | |
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110 overflow | |
v.(使)外溢,(使)溢出;溢出,流出,漫出 | |
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111 remarkable | |
adj.显著的,异常的,非凡的,值得注意的 | |
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112 countenances | |
n.面容( countenance的名词复数 );表情;镇静;道义支持 | |
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113 inquiry | |
n.打听,询问,调查,查问 | |
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114 agitated | |
adj.被鼓动的,不安的 | |
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115 abate | |
vi.(风势,疼痛等)减弱,减轻,减退 | |
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116 specially | |
adv.特定地;特殊地;明确地 | |
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117 beheld | |
v.看,注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 );瞧;看呀;(叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现)哎哟 | |
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118 miscreant | |
n.恶棍 | |
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119 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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120 foul | |
adj.污秽的;邪恶的;v.弄脏;妨害;犯规;n.犯规 | |
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121 unprecedented | |
adj.无前例的,新奇的 | |
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122 dallied | |
v.随随便便地对待( dally的过去式和过去分词 );不很认真地考虑;浪费时间;调情 | |
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123 hearty | |
adj.热情友好的;衷心的;尽情的,纵情的 | |
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124 awakened | |
v.(使)醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 );(使)觉醒;弄醒;(使)意识到 | |
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125 flannel | |
n.法兰绒;法兰绒衣服 | |
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126 briefly | |
adv.简单地,简短地 | |
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127 gasp | |
n.喘息,气喘;v.喘息;气吁吁他说 | |
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128 darting | |
v.投掷,投射( dart的现在分词 );向前冲,飞奔 | |
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129 scantiness | |
n.缺乏 | |
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130 abruptly | |
adv.突然地,出其不意地 | |
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131 retired | |
adj.隐退的,退休的,退役的 | |
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132 morsel | |
n.一口,一点点 | |
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133 averring | |
v.断言( aver的现在分词 );证实;证明…属实;作为事实提出 | |
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134 impatience | |
n.不耐烦,急躁 | |
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135 lessened | |
减少的,减弱的 | |
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136 imposing | |
adj.使人难忘的,壮丽的,堂皇的,雄伟的 | |
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137 annoyance | |
n.恼怒,生气,烦恼 | |
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138 inflicting | |
把…强加给,使承受,遭受( inflict的现在分词 ) | |
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139 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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140 dismal | |
adj.阴沉的,凄凉的,令人忧郁的,差劲的 | |
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141 second-hand | |
adj.用过的,旧的,二手的 | |
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142 theatrically | |
adv.戏剧化地 | |
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