The Passing of a Public School Man
SIX days later the school was given a half holiday, and soon after luncheon1 the bigamous union of Captain Edgar Grimes and Miss Florence Selina Fagan was celebrated2 at the Llanabba Parish Church. A slight injury to his hand prevented Paul from playing the organ. He walked down the church with Mr Prendergast, who, greatly to his dismay, had been instructed by Dr Fagan to give away the bride.
'I do not intend to be present,' said the Doctor. 'The whole business is exceedingly painful to me.' Everybody else, however, was there except little Lord Tangent, whose foot was being amputated at a local nursing home. The boys for the most part welcomed the event as a pleasant variation to the rather irregular routine of their day. Clutterbuck alone seemed disposed to sulk.
'I don't suppose that their children will be terribly attractive,' said Beste Chetwynde.
There were few wedding presents. The boys had subscribed3 a shilling each and had bought at a shop in Llandudno a silver plated teapot, coyly suggestive of art nouveau. The Doctor gave them a cheque for twenty five pounds. Mr Prendergast gave Grimes a walking stick - 'because he was always borrowing mine' and Dingy4 rather generously, two photograph frames, a calendar, and a tray of Benares brassware. Paul was the best man.
The service passed off without a hitch5, for Grimes's Irish wife did not turn up to forbid the banns. Flossie wore a frock of a rather noticeable velveteen and a hat with two pink feathers to match.
'I was so pleased when I found he didn't want me to wear white,' she said, 'though, of course, it might have been dyed afterwards.'
Both bride and bridegroom spoke6 up well in the responses, and afterwards the Vicar delivered a very moving address on the subject of Home and Conjugal7 Love.
'How beautiful it is,' he said, 'to see two young people in the hope of youth setting out with the Church's blessing8 to face life together; how much more beautiful to see them when they have grown to full manhood and womanhood coming together and saying, "Our experience of life has taught us that one is not enough." '
The boys lined the path from the church door to the lychgate, and the head prefect said: 'Three cheers for Captain and Mrs Grimes!'
Then they returned to the Castle. The honeymoon9 had been postponed10 until the end of term, ten days later, and the arrangements for the first days of their married life were a little meagre. 'You must do the best you can,' the Doctor had said. 'I suppose you will wish to share the same bedroom. I think there would be no objection to your both moving into the large room in theWest Tower. It is a little damp, but I daresay Diana will arrange for a fire to be lighted there. You may use the morning room in the evenings, and Captain Grimes will of course, have his meals at my table in the dining room, not with the boys. I do not wish to find him sitting about in the drawing room, nor, of course, in my library. He had better keep his books and gown in the Common Room, as before. Next term I will consider some other arrangement. Perhaps I could hand over one of the lodges11 to you or fit up some sort of sitting room in the tower. I was not prepared for a domestic upheaval12.'
Diana, who was really coming out of the business rather creditably, put a bowl of flowers in their bedroom, and lit a fire of reckless proportions, in which she consumed the remains13 of a desk and two of the boys' playboxes.
That evening, while Mr Prendergast was taking Prep. at the end of the passage, Grimes visited Paul in the Common Room. He looked rather uncomfortable in his evening clothes.
'Well, dinner's over,' he said. 'The old man does himself pretty well.'
'How are you feeling?'
'Not too well, old boy. The first days are always a strain, they say, even in the most romantic marriages. My father in law is not what you might call easy. Needs thawing14 gently, you know. I suppose as a married man I oughtn't to go down to Mrs Roberts's?'
'I think it might seem odd on the first evening, don't you?'
'Flossie's playing the piano; Dingy's making up the accounts; the old man's gone off to the library. Don't you think we've time for a quick one?'
Arm in arm they went down the familiar road.
'Drinks are on me to night,' said Grimes.
The silver band were still sitting with their heads together discussing the division of their earnings15.
'They tell me that married this afternoon you were?' said the stationmaster.
'That's right,' said Grimes.
'And my sister in law never at all you would meet whatever,' he continued reproachfully.
'Look here, old boy,' said Grimes, 'just you shut up. You're not being tactful. See? Just you keep quiet, and I'll give you all some nice beer.'
When Mrs Roberts shut her doors for the night, Paul and Grimes turned back up the hill. A light was burning in the West Tower.
'There she is, waiting for me,' said Grimes. 'Now it might be a very romantic sight to some chaps, a light burning in a tower window. I knew a poem about a thing like that once. Forget it now, though. I was no end of a one for poetry when I was a kid love and all that. Castle towers came in quite a lot. Funny how one grows out of that sort of thing.'
Inside the Castle he turned off down the main corridor.
'Well, so long, old boy! This is the way I go now. See you in the morning.' The baize door swung to behind him, and Paul went up to bed.
*
Paul saw little of Grimes during the next few days. They met at prayers and on the way to and from their classrooms, but the baize door that separated the school from the Doctor's wing was also separating them. Mr Prendergast, now in unchallenged possession of the other easy chair, was smoking away one evening when he suddenly said:
'You know, I miss Grimes. I didn't think I should, but I do. With all his faults, he was a very cheery person. I think I was beginning to get on better with him.'
'He doesn't look as cheery as he did,' said Paul. 'I don't believe that life "above stairs" is suiting him very well.'
As it happened, Grimes chose that evening to visit them.
'D'you chaps mind if I come in for a bit?' he asked with unwonted diffidence. They rose to welcome him. 'Sure you don't mind? I won't stay long.'
'My dear man, we were just saying how much we missed you. Come and sit down.'
'Won't you have some of my tobacco?' said Prendergast.
'Thanks, Prendy! I just had to come in and have a chat. I've been feeling pretty fed up lately. Married life is not all beer and skittles, I don't mind telling you. It's not Flossie, mind; she's been hardly any trouble at all. In a way I've got quite to like her. She likes me, anyway, and that's the great thing. The Doctor's my trouble. He never lets me alone, that man. It gets on my nerves. Always laughing at me in a nasty kind of way and making me feel small. You know the way Lady Circumference16 talks to the Clutterbucks like that. I tell you I simply dread17 going into meals in that dining room. He's got a sort of air as though he always knew exactly what I was going to say before I said it, and as if it was always a little worse than he'd expected. Flossie says he treats her that way sometimes. He does it to me the whole time, damn him.'
'I don't expect he means it,' said Paul, 'and anyway I shouldn't bother about it.'
'That's the point. I'm beginning to feel he's quite right. I suppose I am a pretty coarse sort of chap. I don't know anything about art, and I haven't met any grand people, and I don't go to a good tailor, and all that. I'm not what he calls "out of the top drawer". I never pretended I was, but the thing is that up till now it hasn't worried me. I don't think I was a conceited18 sort of chap, but I felt as good as anyone else, and I didn't care what people thought as long as I had my fun. And I did have fun, too, and, what's more, I enjoyed it. But now I've lived with that man for a week, I feel quite different. I feel half ashamed of myself all the time. And I've come to recognize that supercilious19 look he gives me in other people's eyes as well.'
'Ah, how well I know that feeling!' sighed Mr Prendergast.
'I used to think I was popular among the boys, but you know I'm not, and at Mrs Roberts's they only pretend to like me in the hope I'd stand 'em drinks. I did, too, but they never gave me one back. I thought it was just because they were Welsh, but I see now it was because they despised me. I don't blame them. God knows I despise myself. You know, I used to use French phrases a certain amount things like savoir faire and Je ne sais quoi. I never thought about it, but I suppose I haven't got much of an accent. How could I? I've never been in France except for that war. Well, every time I say one of them now the Doctor gives a sort of wince20 as if he's bitten on a bad tooth. I have to think the whole time now before I say anything, to see if there's any French in it or any of the expressions he doesn't think refined. Then when I do say anything my voice sounds so funny that I get in a muddle21 and he winces22 again. Old boy, it's been hell this last week, and it's worrying me. I'm getting an inferiority complex. Dingy's like that. She just never speaks now. He's always making little jokes about Flossie's clothes, too, but I don't think the old girl sees what he's driving at. That man'll have me crazy before the term's over.'
'Well, there's only a week more,' was all that Paul could say to comfort him.
*
Next morning at prayers Grimes handed Paul a letter. 'Irony,' he said.
Paul opened it and read:
John Clutterbuck & Sons,
Wholesale23 Brewers and Wine Merchants.
My Dear Grimes,
The other day at the sports you asked whether there was by any chance a job open for you at the brewery24. I don't know if you were serious in this, but if you were a post has just fallen vacant which I feel might suit you. I should be glad to offer it to any friend who has been so kind to Percy. We employ a certain number of travellers to go round to various inns and hotels to sample the beer and see that it has not been diluted25 or in any way adulterated. Our junoir traveller, who was a friend of mine from Cambridge, had just developed D.T.'s and has had to be suspended. The salary is two hundred a year with car and travelling expenses. Would this attract you at all? If so, will you let me know during the next few days.
Yours sincerely,
Sam Clutterbuck.
'Just look at that,' said Grimes. 'God's own job and mine for the asking! If that had come ten days ago my whole life might have been different.'
'You don't think of taking it now?'
'Too late, old boy, too late. The saddest words in the English language.'
In 'break' Grimes said to Paul: 'Look here, I've decided26 to take Sam Clutterbuck's job, and be damned to the Fagans!' His eyes shone with excitement. 'I shan't say a word to them. I shall just go off. They can do what they like about it. I don't care.'
'Splendid!' said Paul. 'It's much the best thing you can do.'
'I'm going this very afternoon,' said Grimes.
An hour later, at the end of morning school, they met again. 'I've been thinking over that letter,' said Grimes. 'I see it all now. It's just a joke.'
'Nonsense!' said Paul. 'I'm sure it isn't. Go and see the Clutterbucks right away.'
'No, no, they don't mean it seriously. They've heard about my marriage from Percy, and they're just pulling my leg. It was too good to be true. Why should they offer me a job like that, even if such a wonderful job exists?'
'My dear Grimes, I'm perfectly27 certain it was a genuine offer. Anyway, there's nothing to lose by going to see them.'
'No, no, it's too late, old boy. Things like that don't happen.' And he disappeared beyond the baize door.
*
Next day there was fresh trouble at Llanabba. Two men in stout28 boots, bowler29 hats, and thick grey overcoats presented themselves at the Castle with a warrant for Philbrick's arrest. Search was made for him, but it was suddenly discovered that he had already left by the morning train for Holyhead. The boys crowded round the detectives with interest and a good deal of disappointment. They were not, they thought, particularly impressive figures as they stood in the hall fingering their hats and drinking whisky and calling Dingy 'miss'.
'We've been after 'im for some time now,' said the first detective. 'Ain't we, Bill?'
'Pretty near six months. It's too bad, his getting away like this. They're getting rather restless at H.Q. about our travelling expenses.'
'Is it a very serious case?' asked Mr Prendergast. The entire school were by this time assembled in the hall. 'Not shooting or anything like that?'
'No, there ain't been no bloodshed up to date, sir. I oughtn't to tell about it, really, but seeing as you've all been mixed up in it to some extent, I don't mind telling you that I think he'll get off on a plea of insanity30. Loopy, you know.'
'What's he been up to?'
'False pretences31 and impersonation, sir. There's five charges against him in different parts of the country, mostly at hotels. He represents himself as a rich man, stays there for some time living like a lord, cashes a big cheque and then goes off. Calls 'isself Sir Solomon Philbrick. Funny thing is, I think he really believes his tale 'isself. I've come across several cases like that one time or another. There was a bloke in Somerset what thought 'e was Bishop32 of Bath and Wells and confirmed a whole lot of kids very reverent33, too.'
'Well, anyway,' said Dingy, 'he went without his wages from here.'
'I always felt there was something untrustworthy about that man,' said Mr Prendergast.
'Lucky devil!' said Grimes despondently34.
*
'I'm worried about Grimes,' said Mr Prendergast that evening. 'I never saw a man more changed. He used to be so self confident and self assertive35. He came in here quite timidly just now and asked me whether I believed that Divine retribution took place in this world or the next. I began to talk to him about it, but I could see he wasn't listening. He sighed once or twice and then went out without a word while I was still speaking.'
'Beste Chetwynde tells me he has kept in the whole of the third form because the blackboard fell down in his classroom this morning. He was convinced they had arranged it on purpose.'
'Yes, they often do.'
'But in this case, they hadn't. Beste Chetwynde said they were quite frightened at the way he spoke to them. Just like an actor, Beste Chetwynde said.'
'Poor Grimes! I think he is seriously unnerved. It will be a relief when the holidays come.'
But Captain Grimes's holiday came sooner than Mr Prendergast expected, and in a way which few people could have forseen. Three days later he did not appear at morning prayers, and Flossie, red eyed, admitted that he had not come in from the village the night before. Mr Davies, the stationmaster, confessed to seeing him earlier in the evening in a state of depression. Just before luncheon a youth presented himself at the Castle with a little pile of clothes he had found on the seashore. They were identified without difficulty as having belonged to the Captain. In the breast pocket of the jacket was an envelope addressed to the Doctor, and in it a slip of paper inscribed36 with the words: 'THOSE THAT LIVE BY THE FLESH SHALL PERISH BY THE FLESH.'
As far as was possible this intelligence was kept from the boys.
Flossie, though severely37 shocked at this untimely curtailment38 of her married life, was firm in her resolution not to wear mourning. 'I don't think my husband would have expected it of me,' she said.
In these distressing39 circumstances the boys began packing their boxes to go away for the Easter holidays.
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luncheon
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| n.午宴，午餐，便宴 | |
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celebrated
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| adj.有名的，声誉卓著的 | |
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subscribed
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| v.捐助( subscribe的过去式和过去分词 )；签署，题词；订阅；同意 | |
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dingy
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| adj.昏暗的，肮脏的 | |
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hitch
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| v.免费搭(车旅行)；系住；急提；n.故障；急拉 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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7
conjugal
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| adj.婚姻的，婚姻性的 | |
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8
blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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honeymoon
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| n.蜜月（假期）；vi.度蜜月 | |
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10
postponed
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| vt.& vi.延期，缓办，（使）延迟vt.把…放在次要地位；[语]把…放在后面（或句尾）vi.（疟疾等）延缓发作（或复发） | |
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lodges
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| v.存放( lodge的第三人称单数 )；暂住；埋入；（权利、权威等）归属 | |
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upheaval
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| n.胀起，(地壳)的隆起；剧变，动乱 | |
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13
remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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14
thawing
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| n.熔化，融化v.（气候）解冻( thaw的现在分词 )；（态度、感情等）缓和；（冰、雪及冷冻食物）溶化；软化 | |
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earnings
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| n.工资收人；利润，利益，所得 | |
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circumference
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| n.圆周，周长，圆周线 | |
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dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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conceited
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| adj.自负的，骄傲自满的 | |
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supercilious
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| adj.目中无人的，高傲的；adv.高傲地；n.高傲 | |
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wince
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| n.畏缩，退避，（因痛苦，苦恼等)面部肌肉抽动；v.畏缩，退缩，退避 | |
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muddle
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| n.困惑，混浊状态；vt.使混乱，使糊涂，使惊呆；vi.胡乱应付，混乱 | |
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winces
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| 避开，畏缩( wince的名词复数 ) | |
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wholesale
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| n.批发；adv.以批发方式；vt.批发，成批出售 | |
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24
brewery
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| n.啤酒厂 | |
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25
diluted
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| 无力的，冲淡的 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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29
bowler
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| n.打保龄球的人，（板球的）投（球）手 | |
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insanity
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| n.疯狂，精神错乱；极端的愚蠢，荒唐 | |
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pretences
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| n.假装( pretence的名词复数 )；作假；自命；自称 | |
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bishop
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| n.主教，（国际象棋）象 | |
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33
reverent
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| adj.恭敬的，虔诚的 | |
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34
despondently
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| adv.沮丧地，意志消沉地 | |
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35
assertive
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| adj.果断的，自信的，有冲劲的 | |
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36
inscribed
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| v.写，刻( inscribe的过去式和过去分词 )；内接 | |
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severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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38
curtailment
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| n.缩减，缩短 | |
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39
distressing
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| a.使人痛苦的 | |
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