In the love of this man for Margaret there was so much of generous kindness, such an intense desire to fill her life with a full and compensating3 happiness, to efface4 the past utterly5, and give her in the present all that the heart of the most exacting6 woman could covet7, that he regarded his success with more than the natural and customary exultation8 of a lover to whom "yes" has been said or rather implied. That Margaret realised, or indeed understood, even in its broad outlines, the alteration9 in the external circumstances of her life which her becoming his wife would effect, he did not imagine; and he exulted10 to an extent which he would hitherto have believed impossible in the knowledge that he could give her wealth and position only inferior to his love.
Beyond a vague understanding that Mr. Baldwin was a very rich man for a commoner, and that, as the property was entailed11 on heirs general, Lady Davyntry would have it in the event of his dying childless, Mr. Carteret had no clear notions about the position in which his daughter's second marriage would place her, and Mr. Baldwin's explanations rather puzzled and confounded the worthy13 gentleman. He had shrunk as much as possible from realising to himself the circumstances of Margaret's life in Australia, the disastrous14 experiences of her first marriage, and he now showed his dread15 of them chiefly by the complacency, the delight with which he dwelt upon the happiness which he anticipated for her in the society of Mr. Baldwin, so accomplished16 a man, so perfect a gentleman, and withal such a lover of natural history. He was not disposed to take other matters deeply into consideration, and it was chiefly Haldane with whom the preliminaries of the marriage, which was to take place soon, and with as little stir or parade as possible, were discussed. The young man's exultation was extreme. He expressed his feelings pretty freely, after his usual fashion, to everybody; but he reserved the full flow of his delight for James Dugdale's special edification.
"It isn't the correct thing to talk to Baldwin about, of course," he said one day; "but I find it very hard to hold my tongue, when I think of that ruffian Hungerford, and that it was through me she first saw him, and got the chance of bringing misery17 on herself I long to tell Baldwin all about him. But it wouldn't do. I wonder if he knows much concerning him."
"Nothing, I should say," returned James shortly,--he never could be induced to say much when the topic of Margaret and her lover was in any way under discussion,--but the unsuspecting Haldane, in whose eyes James Dugdale, though a more interesting companion, was a contemporary of his father, and in the "fogey" category, did not notice this reluctance18.
"Well, I suppose not," said Haldane musingly19. "It's a pity; for he would understand what we all think about him, if he did; and I don't see how he is to realise that otherwise."
"Margaret will teach him how he is estimated," said James sadly.
"I hope so," was Haldane's hearty20 and emphatic21 reply. "By Jove! it's a wonderful thing, when you come to think of it, that anybody should have things made up to them so completely as Madge is going to have them made up. I don't mean only his money, you know. I wonder how she will get on in Scotland, how she will play her part among the people there. I daresay Baldwin's neighbours will not like her much; I suppose the mothers in that part of the world looked upon him as their natural prey22."
"I don't know about that," said James, "but I fancy Margaret will be quite able to hold her own wherever she may go; she is the sort of woman who may be safely trusted with wealth and station."
This was by no means the only conversation which took place between the ex-tutor and the ex-pupil on the subject then engrossing23; the attention of the families at Davyntry and Chayleigh; Haldane's exuberant24 delight was apt to communicate itself after a similar fashion very frequently, and altogether he subjected his friend just then to a not inconsiderable amount of pain.
During the few weeks which intervened before the period named, very shortly after their engagement, for the marriage of Margaret Hungerford and Fitzwilliam Baldwin, there was no approach on Margaret's part to any confidential25 intercourse26 with James Dugdale. By tacit mutual27 consent they avoided each other, and yet she never so wronged in her thoughts the man who loved her with so disinterested28 a love, as to believe him alienated29 from her, jealous of the good fortune of another, or grudging30 to her of the happiness which was to be hers.
In the experience of her own feelings, in the engrossment of her own heart and thoughts in the new and roseate prospects32 which had opened suddenly before her, after her long wandering in dreary33 ways, she had learned to comprehend James Dugdale. She knew now how patiently and constantly he had loved and still loved her; she knew now what had given him a prescient knowledge of her former self-sought doom34; she knew what had inspired the efforts he had made to avert35 it from her. Inexpressible kindness and pity for him, painful gratitude36 towards this man whom she never could have loved, filled Margaret's heart; but she kept aloof37 from him. Explanation between them there could not be--it would be equally bad for both. He who had so striven to avert her misery would be consoled by her perfect happiness; in the time to come, the blessed peaceful time, he should share it.
So she and James lived in the usual close relation, and Mr. Carteret and Haldane talked freely of the coming event, of the splendid prospects opening before Margaret; but never a word was spoken directly between the two.
A strongly appreciative39 friendship had sprung up between Mr. Baldwin and James Dugdale. The elder man regarded the younger without one feeling of envy of the good looks, the good health, the physical activity,--in all which he was himself deficient,--but with a thorough comprehension of the difference between them which they constituted, and an almost womanish admiration40 of one so richly dowered by nature.
Since Mr. Baldwin's engagement to Margaret,--though James had loyally forced himself to utter the congratulations of whose truth and meaning none could form a truer estimate than he,--there had been little intercourse between them. Mr. Baldwin now claimed Margaret as his chief companion during his daily and lengthy41 visits to Chayleigh; and she, with all a woman's tact42 and instinctive43 delicacy44, quietly aided the unobserved severance45 between himself and James, of which her lover was wholly unconscious.
So the time--a time of such exceeding and incredible happiness to Margaret, that not all her previous experience of the delusions46 of life could avail to check the avidity with which she enjoyed every hour of it, and listened with greedy ears to every promise and protestation for the future--went on.
On one point only she found she was not to have her own wishes carried out, wishes shared to the utmost by Mr. Baldwin. Her father did not take kindly47 to the idea of leaving Chayleigh. His reasons were amusingly characteristic.
"You see, my dear," he said, when the matter had been urged upon him, with every kind of plea and prayer by Margaret, and with respectful earnestness by Mr. Baldwin, "I should never feel quite myself, I should never feel quite comfortable away from my collection. You, my dear Margaret, never had any great taste in that way, and of course you don't understand it; but there's Baldwin, now. You wouldn't like to part with your collection, would you? You have a great many other reasons for liking48 the Deane, of course, besides that; but considering only that, you would not like it?"
"Good heavens, sir!" exclaimed Mr. Baldwin, "how could you imagine such a thing as that we ever dreamed of parting you and your collection? Why, we should as soon have thought of asking you to leave your arms or legs after you. Of course you'll move your collection to the Deane; there's room for a dozen of the size."
Mr. Carteret was a little put out, not exactly annoyed, but gêné; and Margaret, who understood him perfectly49, stopped her lover's flow of protestation and proposal by a look, and they soon left him to himself; whereupon Mr. Carteret immediately summoned James, and imparted to him the nature of the conversation which had just taken place.
"Baldwin is the very best fellow in the world, James," said the old gentleman in a confidential tone; "but, between you and me, we collectors and lovers of natural history are rather odd in our ways; we have our little peculiarities50, and our little jealousies51, and our little envies. You know I would not deny Baldwin's good qualities; and he has been very generous too in giving me specimens52; but I have a kind of notion, for all that, that he would have no objection to my collection finding its way to the Deane."
Here Mr. Carteret looked at James Dugdale, as if he had made a surprisingly deep discovery; and James Dugdale had considerable difficulty in concealing53 his amusement.
"Now you can, I am sure, quite understand that, however I may appreciate Baldwin, I have no fancy for seeing my collection, after working at it all these years, merged54 in another--merged, my dear James!"
And Mr. Carteret's tone grew positively55 irate56, while he tapped Dugdale's arm impatiently with his long fingers.
"But, sir," said James, "I quite understand all that; but how about parting with Margaret? If she is to be at the Deane, hadn't you better be there also? She is of more importance to you than even your collection, is she not?"
"Well, yes, in a certain sense," said the old gentleman, rather dubiously57 and reluctantly; "in a certain sense, of course she is; but, then, I can go to the Deane when I like, and she can come here when she likes; and so long as I know she is happy (and she cannot fail to be happy this time), I don't so much mind. But I really could not part with my collection; and if it were moved and merged, I should feel I had parted with it. No, no, Margery and Baldwin will be great companions for each other, and they will do very well without us, James; we will just stay quietly here in the old place, and I am sure Haldane will undertake not to move my collection when I am gone."
Immediately after this conversation, Mr. Carteret applied58 himself with great assiduity to the precious pursuit which, in the great interest of the domestic discussions then pending59, he had somewhat neglected, and showed his jealous zeal60 for his beloved specimens by a thousand little indications which Margaret perceived, and which she interpreted to Mr. Baldwin, very much to his amusement.
"Haldane," said James Dugdale to Captain Carteret, "I think you had better give Margaret a hint that she had better not urge her father's leaving Chayleigh; depend upon it, he will never consent, except it be very much against his will; and if she presses him, she will only run the risk of making him like Baldwin very much less than he does at present."
"You are quite right," said Haldane, who was busily engaged in mending the eldest61 Miss Crofton's riding-whip; "but why don't you tell her so yourself?"
James was rather embarrassed by the question; but he said, "It would come better from you."
"Would it? I don't see it. However, I don't mind. I'll speak to her. All right."
Haldane did speak to Margaret; and she acquiesced62 in James's opinion, and conformed to his advice. The subject dropped, and Mr. Carteret entirely63 recovered his spirits. Haldane had another little matter to negotiate with his sister, in which he was not so successful. He knew the wedding was to be very quiet indeed; but everybody either then knew, or soon would know, that such an event was in contemplation; and he could not see that it could make any difference to Margaret just to have the eldest Miss Crofton for her bridesmaid. He could assure his sister the eldest, "Lucy, you know," was "an extremely nice girl," and her admiration of Margaret quite enthusiastic.
Margaret was quite sure Lucy Crofton was a very nice girl indeed; and she would have her for her bridesmaid, had she any intention of indulging in such an accessory, but she had none; and Haldane (of course men did not understand such matters) had not reflected that to invite Miss Lucy in such a capacity must imply inviting64 all her family as spectators, and entail12 the undying enmity of the "neighbourhood" at their exclusion65.
"O, hang it, Madge," said Haldane in impatient disdain66 of this reasoning, "we are not people of such importance that the neighbourhood need kick up a row because we are married or buried without their assistance."
"We are not," said Margaret gently, "but Fitzwilliam is; and don't you suppose, you dear stupid boy, that there are plenty of people to envy me my good fortune, of which they only know the flimsy surface, and to find me guilty of all sorts of insolences that I never dreamt of, if they only get the chance?"
"I never thought of that. You're quite right, after all, Madge," said Haldane ruefully.
"There's a good deal you have never thought of, and which my life has made plain to me," said Margaret; and then she added in a lower tone, "Can you not understand, Hal, how terribly trying my wedding will be to me, how many painful thoughts it must bring me? Can you not see that I must wish to get through it as quietly as possible?"
This was the first word of reference, however distant, to the past which her brother had heard from Margaret's lips; this was the first time he had ever seen the hard, lowering, stern, self-despising look upon her face, which had been familiar to all the other dwellers67 at Chayleigh before his return, and before she had accepted her new life and hope.
She looked gloomily out over the prospect31 as she spoke38. She and Haldane were walking together, and were just then opposite to the beeches68. She caught Haldane's arm, and turned him sharply round, then walked rapidly away from the spot.
"What's the matter?" said her brother. He felt what she had just said deeply, notwithstanding his insouciance69. "What are you walking so fast for? You look as if you saw a ghost!"
"What, in the daylight, Hal?" said Margaret with a forced laugh. "No, we are rather late; let us go in."
The pleasure of Lady Davyntry in the perfect success of all her most cherished wishes would have been delightful70 to witness to any observer of a philosophic71 tendency. It is so rarely that any one is happy and grateful in proportion to one's anxiety and effort. Such purely72 disinterested pleasure as was hers is not frequently desired or enjoyed.
"If anybody had told me I could ever feel so happy again in a world which my Richard has left, I certainly would not have believed them," said Eleanor, as Margaret strove to thank her for the welcome she gave her to the proud and happy position soon to be hers; "and you would hardly believe me, Madge, if I were to tell you how short a time after the day I tried to make Fitz spy you through the glass there, and he was much too proper and genteel to do anything of the kind, I began to look forward to this happy event."
To do Lady Davyntry justice, it was some time before she admitted minor73 considerations in support of her vast and intense satisfaction; it was actually twenty-four hours after her brother had informed her that Margaret had accepted him, when she found herself saying aloud, in the gladness of her heart and the privacy of her own room, "How delightful it is to think that now there is no danger of his marrying a Scotchwoman! How savage74 Jessie MacAlpine will be!"
The dew was shining on the grass and the flowers, the birds had hardly begun their morning hymn75, on a morning in the gorgeous month of June, when Margaret Hungerford, wrapped in a white dressing-gown, and leaning out of the passion-flower-framed window of her room, looked out towards the woods of Davyntry. The tall, fantastic, twisted chimneys and turrets76, rich with the deep red of the old brickwork, showed through the leaf-laden trees. Margaret's pale, clear, spiritual face was turned towards them, her hands were clasped upon the window-sill; she leaned more forward still, and her long hair was stirred by the light wind.
"The one only thing he asks me for his sake," she murmured; "but O, how difficult, how impossible, never to look back, never voluntarily to look back upon the past again! To live for the present and the future, to live only in his life, as he lives only in mine. Ah, that is easy for him, or at least easier; and it may be so--but for me, for me." She swayed her slight figure to and fro, and wrung77 her hands. It was long since the gesture had ceased to be habitual78 now. "I will try, I will keep my word to you, in all honest intention at least, my darling, my love, my husband!" She slightly waved one hand towards the woods, and a beautiful flush spread itself over her face. "I will turn all my heart for ever from the past, if any effort of my will can do it, and live in your life only."
A few hours later, the quietest wedding that had ever been known in that part of the country took place in the parish church of Chayleigh, very much to the dissatisfaction of the few spectators who had had sufficient good fortune to be correctly informed of the early hour appointed for the ceremony.
"Gray silk, my dear, and a chip bonnet79, as plain as you please," said Miss Laughton, the village dressmaker, to Miss Harland, the village milliner. "I should like to know what poor Mrs. Carteret, that's dead and gone, but had as genteel a taste in dress as ever I knew, would say to such a set-out as that."
"I expect, Jemima," replied Miss Harland, who had a strong dash of spite in her composition, and felt herself aggrieved80 at the loss of Mrs. Hungerford's modest custom in the article of widow's caps--"I expect madam would not have caught Mr. Baldwin easy, if Mrs. Carteret was alive; and gray silk and chip is good enough for her. I wonder what she wore at her wedding, when she ran away with Mr. Hungerford--which he was a gay chap, whatever they had to say against him."
In these days, the avoidance of festive81 proceedings83 on the occasion of a marriage is not unusual; but when Margaret was married, that the bride and bridegroom should drive away from the church-door was an almost unheard-of proceeding82. Nevertheless, Mr. Baldwin and Margaret departed after that fashion; and Lady Davyntry only returned to Chayleigh to console Mr. Carteret, who really did not seem to need consolation84.
A few days later, as Margaret and her husband were strolling arm-in-arm in the evening along the sea-shore of a then almost unknown village in South Wales,--now a prosperous and consequently intolerable "watering-place,"--Mr. Baldwin said to her--they had been talking of some letters he had had from his steward85:
"I wonder if you have any doubts in your mind about liking the Deane, Margaret. I am longing86 to see you there, to watch you making acquaintance with the place, taking your throne in your own kingdom."
"And I," she said with a smile and a wistful look in her gray eyes, "sometimes think that when I am there I shall feel like Lady Burleigh."
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1
remorsefully
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| adv.极为懊悔地 | |
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aspiration
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| n.志向，志趣抱负；渴望；(语)送气音；吸出 | |
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compensating
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| 补偿，补助，修正 | |
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efface
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| v.擦掉，抹去 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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exacting
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| adj.苛求的，要求严格的 | |
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covet
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| vt.垂涎；贪图(尤指属于他人的东西) | |
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exultation
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| n.狂喜，得意 | |
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alteration
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| n.变更，改变；蚀变 | |
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exulted
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| 狂喜，欢跃( exult的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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entailed
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| 使…成为必要( entail的过去式和过去分词 )； 需要； 限定继承； 使必需 | |
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entail
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| vt.使承担，使成为必要，需要 | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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disastrous
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| adj.灾难性的，造成灾害的；极坏的，很糟的 | |
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dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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reluctance
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| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
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musingly
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| adv.沉思地，冥想地 | |
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hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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emphatic
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| adj.强调的，着重的；无可置疑的，明显的 | |
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prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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engrossing
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exuberant
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confidential
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| adj.秘（机）密的，表示信任的，担任机密工作的 | |
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intercourse
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mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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disinterested
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| adj.不关心的，不感兴趣的 | |
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alienated
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| adj.感到孤独的，不合群的v.使疏远( alienate的过去式和过去分词 )；使不友好；转让；让渡（财产等） | |
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grudging
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prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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prospects
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dreary
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doom
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avert
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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aloof
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| adj.远离的；冷淡的，漠不关心的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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appreciative
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| adj.有鉴赏力的，有眼力的；感激的 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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lengthy
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| adj.漫长的，冗长的 | |
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tact
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instinctive
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| adj.(出于)本能的；直觉的；(出于)天性的 | |
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delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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severance
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| n.离职金；切断 | |
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delusions
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| n.欺骗( delusion的名词复数 )；谬见；错觉；妄想 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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peculiarities
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| n. 特质, 特性, 怪癖, 古怪 | |
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jealousies
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| n.妒忌( jealousy的名词复数 )；妒羡 | |
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specimens
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| n.样品( specimen的名词复数 )；范例；（化验的）抽样；某种类型的人 | |
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concealing
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的现在分词 ) | |
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merged
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| （使）混合( merge的过去式和过去分词 )； 相融； 融入； 渐渐消失在某物中 | |
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positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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irate
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| adj.发怒的，生气 | |
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dubiously
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| adv.可疑地，怀疑地 | |
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applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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pending
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| prep.直到，等待…期间；adj.待定的；迫近的 | |
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zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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acquiesced
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| v.默认，默许( acquiesce的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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inviting
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| adj.诱人的，引人注目的 | |
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exclusion
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| n.拒绝，排除，排斥，远足，远途旅行 | |
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disdain
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| n.鄙视，轻视；v.轻视，鄙视，不屑 | |
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dwellers
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| n.居民，居住者( dweller的名词复数 ) | |
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beeches
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| n.山毛榉( beech的名词复数 )；山毛榉木材 | |
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insouciance
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| n.漠不关心 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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philosophic
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| adj.哲学的，贤明的 | |
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purely
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| adv.纯粹地，完全地 | |
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minor
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| adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修 | |
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savage
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| adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人 | |
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hymn
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| n.赞美诗，圣歌，颂歌 | |
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turrets
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| （六角）转台( turret的名词复数 )； （战舰和坦克等上的）转动炮塔； （摄影机等上的）镜头转台； （旧时攻城用的）塔车 | |
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wrung
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| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
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habitual
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| adj.习惯性的；通常的，惯常的 | |
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bonnet
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| n.无边女帽；童帽 | |
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aggrieved
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| adj.愤愤不平的，受委屈的；悲痛的；（在合法权利方面）受侵害的v.令委屈，令苦恼，侵害( aggrieve的过去式)；令委屈，令苦恼，侵害( aggrieve的过去式和过去分词) | |
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festive
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| adj.欢宴的，节日的 | |
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proceeding
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| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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steward
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| n.乘务员，服务员；看管人；膳食管理员 | |
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longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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