In which Esther gets a nose job
I
Next evening, prim1 and nervous-thighed in a rear seat of the crosstown bus, Esther divided her attention between the delinquent2 wilderness3 outside and a paperback4 copy of The Search for Bridey Murphy. This book had been written by a Colorado businessman to tell people there was life after death. In its course he touched upon metempsychosis, faith healing, extrasensory perception and the rest of a weird5 canon of twentieth-century metaphysics we've come now to associate with the city of Los Angeles and similar regions.
The bus driver was of the normal or placid6 crosstown type; having fewer traffic lights and stops to cope with than the up-and-downtown drivers, he could afford to be genial7. A portable radio hung by his steering8 wheel, tuned10 to WQXR. Tchaikovsky's Romeo and Juliet Overture11 flowed syrupy around him and his passengers. As the bus crossed Columbus Avenue, a faceless delinquent heaved a rock at it. Cries in Spanish ascended12 to it out of the darkness. A report which could have been either a backfire or a gunshot sounded a few blocks downtown. Captured in the score's black symbols, given life by vibrating air columns and strings13, having taken passage through transducers, coils, capacitors and tubes to a shuddering14 paper cone15, the eternal drama of love and death continued to unfold entirely16 disconnected from this evening and place.
The bus entered the sudden waste country of Central Park. Out there, Esther knew, up and downtown, they would be going at it under bushes; mugging, raping17, killing18. She, her world knew nothing of the square confines of the Park after sundown. It was reserved as if by covenant19 for cops, delinquents and all manner of deviates20.
Suppose she were telepathic, and could tune9 in on what was going on out there. She preferred not to think about it. There would be power in telepathy, she thought, but much pain. And someone else might tap your own mind without your knowing. (Had Rachel been listening on the phone extension?)
She touched the tip of her new nose delicately, in secret: a mannerism21 she'd developed just recently. Not so much to point it out to whoever might be watching as to make sure it was still there. The bus came out of the park onto the safe, bright East Side, into the lights of Fifth Avenue. They reminded her to go shopping tomorrow for a dress she'd seen, $39.95 at Lord and Taylor, which he would like.
What a brave girl I am, she trilled to herself, coming through so much night and lawlessness to visit My Lover.
She got off at First Avenue and tap-tapped along the sidewalk, facing uptown and perhaps some dream. Soon she turned right began to fish in her purse for a key. Found the door, opened, stepped inside. The front rooms were all deserted22. Beneath the mirror, two golden imps23 in a clock danced the same unsyncopated tango they'd always danced. Esther felt home. Behind the operating room (a sentimental24 glance sideways through the open door toward the table on which her face had been altered) was a small chamber25, in it a bed. He lay, head and shoulders circled by the intense halo of a paraboloid reading light. His eyes opened to her, her arms to him.
"You are early," he said.
"I am late," she answered. Already stepping out of her skirt.
I
Schoenmaker, being conservative, referred to his profession as the art of Tagliacozzi. His own methods, while not as primitive26 as those of the sixteenth-century Italian, were marked by a certain sentimental inertia27, so that Schoenmaker was never quite up to date. He went out of his way to cultivate the Tagliacozzi look: showing his eyebrows29 thin and semicircular; wearing a bushy mustache, pointed30 beard, sometimes even a skullcap, his old schoolboy yarmulke.
He'd received his impetus32 - like the racket itself - from the World War. At seventeen, coeval33 with the century, he raised a mustache (which he never shaved off), falsified his age and name and wallowed off in a fetid troopship to fly, so he thought, high over the ruined chateaux and scarred fields of France, got up like an earless raccoon to scrimmage with the Hun; a brave Icarus.
Well, the kid never did get up in the air, but they made him a greasemonkey which was more than he'd expected anyway. It was enough. He got to know the guts35 not only of Breguets, Bristol Fighters and JN's, but also of the birdmen who did go up, and whom, of course, he adored. There was always a certain feudal-homosexual element in this division of labor36. Schoenmaker felt like a page boy. Since those days as we know democracy has made its inroads and those crude flying-machines have evolved into "weapon systems" of a then undreamed-of complexity37; so that the maintenance man today has to be as professional-noble as the flight crew he supports.
But then: it was a pure and abstract passion, directed for Schoenmaker, at least, toward the face. His own mustache may have been partly responsible; he was often mistaken for a pilot. On off hours, infrequently, he would sport a silk kerchief (obtained in Paris) at his throat, by way of imitation.
The war being what it was, certain of the faces - craggy or smooth, with slicked-down hair or bald - never came back. To this the young Schoenmaker responded with all adolescent love's flexibility38: his free-floating affection sad and thwarted39 for a time till it managed to attach itself to a new face. But in each case, loss was as unspecified as the proposition "love dies." They flew off and were swallowed in the sky.
Until Evan Godolphin. A liaison41 officer in his middle thirties, TDY with the Americans for reconnaissance missions over the Argonne plateau, Godolphin carried the natural foppishness of the early aviators42 to extremes which in the time's hysterical43 context seemed perfectly44 normal. Here were no trenches46, after all: the air up there was free of any taint47 of gas or comrades' decay. Combatants on both sides could afford to break champagne glasses in the majestic48 fireplaces of commandeered country seats; treat their captives with utmost courtesy, adhere to every point of the duello when it came to a dogfight; in short, practice with finicking care the entire rigmarole of nineteenth-century gentlemen of war. Evan Godolphin wore a Bond Street-tailored flying suit; would often, dashing clumsily across the scars of their makeshift airfield49 toward his French Spad, stop to pluck a lone50 poppy, survivor51 of strafing by autumn and the Germans (naturally aware of the Flanders Fields poem in Punch, three years ago when there'd still been an idealistic tinge52 to trench45 warfare), and insert it into one faultless lapel.
Godolphin became Schoenmaker's hero. Tokens tossed his way - an occasional salute53, a "well done" for the preflights which came to be the boy-mechanic's responsibility, a tense smile - were hoarded54 fervently55. Perhaps he saw an end also to this unrequited love; doesn't a latent sense of death always heighten the pleasure of such an "involvement"?
The end came soon enough. One rainy afternoon toward to end of the battle of Meuse-Argonne, Godolphin's crippled plane materialized suddenly out of all that gray, looped feebly, dipped on a wing toward the ground and slid like a kite in an air current toward the runway. It missed the runway by a hundred yards: by the time it impacted corpsmen and stretcher-bearers were already running out toward :t. Schoenmaker happened to be nearby and tagged along, having no idea what had happened till he saw the heap of rags and splinters, already soggy in the rain, and from it, limping toward the medics, the worst possible travesty56 of a human face lolling atop an animate57 corpse58. The top of the nose had been shot away; shrapnel had torn out part of one cheek and shattered half the chin. The eyes, intact, showed nothing.
Schoenmaker must have lost himself. The next he could remember he was back at an aid station, trying to convince the doctors there to take his own cartilage. Godolphin would live, they'd decided59. But his face would have to be rebuilt. Life for the young officer would be, otherwise, unthinkable.
Now luckily for some a law of supply and demand had been at work in the field of plastic surgery. Godolphin's case, in 1918, was hardly unique. Methods had been in existence since the fifth century B.C. for rebuilding noses, Thiersch grafts60 had been around for forty or so years. During the war techniques were developed by necessity and were practiced by GP's, eye-ear-nose-and-throat men, even a hastily recruited gynecologist or two. The techniques that worked were adopted and passed on quickly to the younger medics. Those that failed produced a generation of freaks and pariahs61 who along with those who'd received no restorative surgery at all became a secret and horrible postwar fraternity. No good at all in any of the usual rungs of society, where did they go?
(Profane62 would see some of them under the street. Others you could meet at any rural crossroads in America. As Profane had: come to a new road, right-angles to his progress, smelled the Diesel63 exhaust of a truck long gone-like walking through a ghost - and seen there like a milestone64 one of them. Whose limp might mean a brocade or bas-relief of scar tissue down one leg - how many women had looked and shied?; whose cicatrix on the throat would be hidden modestly like a gaudy65 war decoration; whose tongue, protruding66 through a hole in the cheek, would never speak secret words with any extra mouth.)
Evan Godolphin proved to be one of them. The doctor was young, he had ideas of his own, which the AEF was no place for. His name was Halidom and he favored allografts: the introduction of inert28 substances into the living face. It was suspected at the time that the only safe transplants to use were cartilage or skin from the patient's own body. Schoenmaker, knowing nothing about medicine, offered his cartilage but the gift was rejected; allografting was plausible67 and Halidom saw no reason for two men being hospitalized when only one had to be.
Thus Godolphin received a nose bridge of ivory, a cheekbone of silver and a paraffin and celluloid chin. A month later Schoenmaker went to visit him in the hospital - the last time he ever saw Godolphin. The reconstruction68 had been perfect. He was being sent back to London, in some obscure staff position, and spoke69 with a grim flippancy70.
"Take a long look. It won't be good for more than six months." Schoenmaker stammered71: Godolphin continued: "See him, down the way?" Two cots over lay what would have been a similar casualty except that the skin of the face was whole, shiny. But the skull31 beneath was misshapen. "Foreign-body reaction, they call it. Sometimes infection, inflammation, sometimes only pain. The paraffin, for instance, doesn't hold shape. Before you know it, you're back where you started." He talked like a man under death sentence. "Perhaps I can pawn73 my cheekbone. It's worth a fortune. Before they melted it down it was one of a set of pastoral figurines, eighteenth century - nymphs, shepherdesses - looted from a chateau34 the Hun was using for a CP; Lord knows where they're originally from -"
"Couldn't -" Schoenmaker's throat was dry - "couldn't they fix it, somehow: start over . . ."
"Too rushed. I'm lucky to get what I got. I can't complain. Think of the devils who haven't even six months to bash around in."
"What will you do when -"
"I'm not thinking of that. But it will be a grand six months."
The young mechanic stayed in a kind of emotional limbo74 for weeks. He worked without the usual slacking off, believing himself no more animate than the spanners and screwdrivers75 he handled. When there were passes to be had he gave his to someone else. He slept on an average of four hours a night. This mineral period ended by an accidental meeting with a medical officer one evening in the barracks. Schoenmaker put it as primitively76 as he felt:
"How can I become a doctor."
Of course it was idealistic and uncomplex. He wanted only to do something for men like Godolphin, to help prevent a takeover of the profession by its unnatural77 and traitorous78 Halidoms. It took ten years of working at his first specialty79 - mechanic - as well as navvy in a score of markets and warehouses80, bill-collector, once administrative81 assistant to a bootlegging syndicate operating out of Decatur, Illinois. These years of labor were interlarded with night courses and occasional day enrollments, though none more than three semesters in a row (after Decatur, when he could afford it); internship82; finally, on the eve of the Great Depression, entrance to the medical freemasonry.
If alignment83 with the inanimate is the mark of a Bad Guy, Schoenmaker at least made a sympathetic beginning. But at some point along his way there occurred a shift in outlook so subtle that even Profane, who was unusually sensitive that way, probably couldn't have detected it. He was kept going by hatred84 for Halidom and perhaps a fading love for Godolphin. These had given rise to what is called a "sense of mission" - something so tenuous85 it has to be fed more solid fare than either hatred or love. So it came to be sustained, plausibly86 enough, by a number of bloodless theories about the "idea" of the plastic surgeon. Having heard his vocation87 on the embattled wind, Schoenmaker's dedication88 was toward repairing the havoc89 wrought90 by agencies outside his own sphere of responsibility. Others - politicians and machines - carried on wars; others - perhaps human machines condemned91 his patients to the ravages92 of acquired syphilis others - on the highways, in the factories - undid93 the work of nature with automobiles94, milling machines, other instruments of civilian95 disfigurement. What could he do toward eliminating the causes? They existed, formed a body of things-as-they-are; he came to be afflicted96 with a conservative laziness. It was social awareness97 of a sort, but with boundaries and interfaces98 which made it less than the catholic rage filling him that night in the barracks with the M.O. It was in short a deterioration99 of purpose; a decay.
II
Esther met him, oddly enough, through Stencil100 who at the time was only a newcomer to the Crew. Stencil, pursuing a different trail, happened for reasons of his own to be interested in Evan Godolphin's history. He'd followed it as far as Meuse-Argonne. Having finally got Schoenmaker's alias from the AEF records, it took Stencil months to trace him to Germantown and the Muzak-filled face hospital. The good doctor denied everything, after every variety of cajolement Stencil knew; it was another dead end.
As is usual after certain frustrations101, we react with benevolence102. Esther had been languishing103 ripe and hot-eyed about the Rusty104 Spoon, hating her figure-6 nose and proving as well as she could the unhappy undergraduate adage105: "All the ugly ones fuck." The thwarted Stencil, casting about for somebody to take it all out on, glommed on to her despair hopefully - a taking which progressed to sad summer afternoons wandering among parched fountains, sunstruck shop fronts and streets bleeding tar72, eventually to a father-daughter agreement casual enough to be cancelled at any time should either of them desire, no post-mortems necessary. It struck him with a fine irony107 that the nicest sentimental trinket for her would be an introduction to Schoenmaker; accordingly, in September, the contact was made and Esther without ado went under his knives and kneading fingers.
Collected for her in the anteroom that day were a rogues108' gallery of malformed. A bald woman without ears contemplated109 the gold imp-clock, skin flush and shiny from temples to occiput. Beside her sat a younger girl, whose skull was fissured110 such that three separate peaks, paraboloid in shape, protruded111 above the hair, which continued down either side of a densely112 acned face like a skipper's beard. Across the room, studying a copy of the Reader's Digest, sat an aged40 gentleman in a moss-green gabardine suit, who possessed113 three nostrils115, no upper lip and an assortment116 of different-sized teeth which leaned and crowded together like the headstones of a boneyard in tornado117 country. And off in a corner, looking at nothing, was a sexless being with hereditary118 syphilis, whose bones had acquired lesions and had partially119 collapsed120 so that the gray face's profile was nearly a straight line, the nose hanging down like a loose flap of skin, nearly covering the mouth; the chin depressed121 at the side by a large sunken crater122 containing radial skin-wrinkles; the eyes squeezed shut by the same unnatural gravity that flattened123 the rest of the profile. Esther, who was still at an impressionable age, identified with them all. It was confirmation124 of this alien feeling which had driven her to bed with so many of the Whole Sick Crew.
This first day Schoenmaker spent in pre-operative reconnaissance of the terrain125: photographing Esther's face and nose from various angles, checking for upper respiratory infections, running a Wassermann. Irving and Trench also assisted him in making two duplicate casts or deathmasks. They gave her two paper straws to breathe through and in her childish way she thought of soda126 shops, cherry Cokes, True Confessions127.
Next day she was back at the once. The two casts were thereon his desk, side by side. "I'm twins," she giggled128. Schoenmaker reached out and snapped the plaster nose from one of the masks.
"Now," he smiled; producing like a magician a lump of modeling clay with which he replaced the broken-off nose. "What sort of nose did you have in mind?"
What else: Irish, she wanted, turned up. Like they all wanted. To none of them did it occur that the retrousse nose too is an aesthetic129 misfit: a Jew nose in reverse, is all. Few had ever asked for a so-called "perfect" nose, where the roof is straight, the tip untilted and unhooked, the columella (separating the nostrils) meeting the upper lip at 90 degrees. All of which went to support his private thesis that correction - along all dimensions: social, political, emotional - entails131 retreat to a diametric opposite rather than any reasonable search for a golden mean.
A few artistic132 finger-flourishes and wrist-twistings.
"Would that be it?" Eyes aglow133, she nodded. "It has to harmonize with the rest of your face, you see." It didn't, of course. All that could harmonize with a face, if you were going to be humanistic about it, was obviously what the face was born with.
"But," he'd been able to rationalize years before, "there is harmony and harmony." So, Esther's nose. Identical with an ideal of nasal beauty established by movies, advertisements, magazine illustrations. Cultural harmony, Schoenmaker called it.
"Try next week then." He gave her the time. Esther was thrilled. It was like waiting to be born, and talking over with God, calm and businesslike, exactly how you wanted to enter the world.
Next week she arrived, punctual: guts tight, skin sensitive. "Come." Schoenmaker took her gently by the hand. She felt passive, even (a little?) sexually aroused. She was seated in a dentist's chair, tilted130 back and prepared by Irving, who hovered134 about her like a handmaiden.
Esther's face was cleaned in the nasal region with green soap, iodine135 and alcohol. The hair inside her nostrils was clipped and the vestibules cleaned gently with antiseptics. She was then given Nembutal.
It was expected this would calm her down, but barbituric acid derivatives affect individuals differently. Perhaps her initial sexual arousal contributed; but by the time Esther was taken to the operating room she was near delirium136. "Should have used Hyoscin," Trench said. "It gives them amnesia137, man."
"Quiet, schlep," said the doctor, scrubbing. Irving set about arranging his armamentarium, while Trench strapped138 Esther to the operating table. Esther's eyes were wild; she sobbed139 quietly, obviously beginning to get second thoughts. "Too late now," Trench consoled her, grinning. "Lay quiet, hey."
All three wore surgical140 masks. The eyes looked suddenly malevolent141 to Esther. She tossed her head. "Trench, hold her head," came Schoenmaker's muffled142 voice, "and Irving can be the anaesthetist. You need practice, babe. Go get the Novocain bottle."
Sterile143 towels were placed under Esther's head and a drop of castor oil in each eye. Her face was again swabbed, this time with Metaphen and alcohol. Gauze packing was then jammed far up her nostrils to keep antiseptics and blood from flowing down her pharynx and throat.
Irving returned with the Novocain, a syringe, and a needle. First she put the anaesthetic into the tip of Esther's nose. one injection on each side. Next she made a number of injections radially around each nostril114, to deaden the wings, or alae, her thumb going down on the plunger each time as the needle withdrew. "Switch to the big one," Schoenmaker said quietly. Irving fished a two-inch needle out of the autoclave. This time the needle was pushed, just under the skin, all the way up each side of the nose, from the nostril to where the nose joined forehead.
No one had told Esther that anything about the operation would hurt. But these injections hurt: nothing before in her experience had ever hurt quite so much. All she had free to move for the pain were her hips144. Trench held her head and leered appreciatively as she squirmed, constrained145, on the table.
Inside the nose again with another burden of anaesthetic, Irving's hypodermic was inserted between the upper and lower cartilage and pushed all the way up to the glabella - the bump between the eyebrows.
A series of internal injections to the septum - the wall of bone and cartilage which separates the two halves of the nose - and anaesthesia was complete. The sexual metaphor146 in all this wasn't lost on Trench, who kept chanting, "Stick it in . . . pull it out . . . stick it in . . ooh that was good . . . pull it out . . " and tittering softly above Esther's eyes. Irving would sigh each time, exasperated147. "That boy," you expected her to say.
After a while Schoenmaker started pinching and twisting Esther's nose. "How does it feel? Hurt?" A whispered no: Schoenmaker twisted harder: "Hurt?" No. "Okay. Cover her eyes."
"Maybe she wants to look," Trench said.
"You want to look, Esther? See what we're going to do you?"
"I don't know." Her voice was weak, teetering between here and hysteria.
"Watch, then," said Schoenmaker. "Get an education. First we'll cut out the hump. Let's see a scalpel."
It was a routine operation; Schoenmaker worked quickly, neither he nor his nurse wasting any motion. Caressing148 sponge-strokes made it nearly bloodless. Occasionally a trickle149 would elude150 him and get halfway151 to the towels before caught it.
Schoenmaker first made two incisions152, one on either side through the internal lining154 of the nose, near the septum at the lower border of the side cartilage. He then pushed a pair of long-handled, curved and pointed scissors through the nostril, up past the cartilage to the nasal bone. The scissors had been designed to cut both on opening and closing. Quickly, like a barber finishing up a high-tipping head, he separated the bone from the membrane155 and skin over it. "Undermining, we call this," he explained. He repeated the scissors work through the other nostril. "You see you have two nasal bones, they're separated by your septum. At the bottom they're each attached to a piece of lateral156 cartilage. I'm undermining you all the way from this attachment157 where the nasal bones join the forehead."
Irving passed him a chisel158-like instrument. "MacKenty's elevator, this is." With the elevator he probed around, completing the undermining.
"Now," gently, like a lover, "I'm going to saw off your hump." Esther watched his eyes as best she could, looking for something human there. Never had she felt so helpless. Later she would say, "It was almost a mystic experience. What religion is it - one of the Eastern ones - where the highest condition we can attain159 is that of an object - a rock. It was like that; I felt myself drifting down, this delicious loss of Estherhood, becoming more and more a blob, with no worries. traumas160, nothing: only Being . . ."
The mask with the clay nose lay on a small table nearby. Referring to it with quick side-glances, Schoenmaker inserted the saw blade through one of the incisions he'd made, and pushed it up to the bony part. Then lined it up with the line of the new nose-roof and carefully began to saw through the nasal bone on that side. "Bone saws easily," he remarked to Esther. "We're all really quite frail161." The blade reached soft septum; Schoenmaker withdrew the blade. "Now comes the tricky162 part. I got to saw off the other side exactly the same. Otherwise your nose will be lopsided." He inserted the saw in the same way on the other side, studied the mask for what seemed to Esther a quarter of an hour; made several minute adjustments. Then finally sawed off the bone there in a straight line.
"Your hump is now two loose pieces of bone, attached only to the septum. We have to cut that through, flush with the other two cuts." This he did with an angle-bladed pull-knife, cutting down swiftly, completing the phase with some graceful163 sponge-flourishing.
"And now the hump floats inside the nose." He pulled hack164 one nostril with a retractor, inserted a pair of forceps and fished around for the hump. "Take that back," he smiled. "It doesn't want to come just yet." With scissors he snipped165 the hump loose from the lateral cartilage which had been holding it; then, with the bone-forceps, removed a dark-colored lump of gristle, which he waved triumphantly166 before Esther. "Twenty-two years of social unhappiness, nicht wahr? End of act one. We'll put it in formaldehyde, you can keep it for a souvenir if you wish." As he talked he smoothed the edges of the cuts with a small rasp file.
So much for the hump. But where the hump had been was now a flat area. The bridge of the nose had been too wide to begin with, and now had to be narrowed.
Again he undermined the nasal bones, this time around to where they met the cheekbones, and beyond. As he removed the scissors he inserted a right-angled saw in its place. "Your nasal bones are anchored firmly, you see; at the side to the cheekbone, at the top to the forehead. We must fracture them, so we can move your nose around. Just like that lump of clay."
He sawed through the nasal bones on each side, separating them from the cheekbones. He then took a chisel and inserted it through one nostril, pushing it as high as he could, until it touched bone.
"Let me know if you feel anything." He gave the chisel a few light taps with a mallet167; stopped, puzzled, and then began to hammer harder. "It's a rough mother," he said, dropping his jocular tone. Tap, tap, tap. "Come on, you bastard168." The chisel point edged its way, millimeter by millimeter, between Esther's eyebrows. "Scheisse!" With a loud snap, her nose was broken free of the forehead. By pushing in from either side with his thumbs, Schoenmaker completed the fracture.
"See? It's all wobbly now. That's act two. Now ve shorten das septum, ja."
With a scalpel he made an incision153 around the septum, between it and its two adjoining lateral cartilages. He then cut down around the front of the septum to the "spine," located just inside the nostrils at the back.
"Which should give you a free-floating septum. We use scissors to finish the job." With dissecting169 scissors he undermined the septum along its sides and up over the bones as far as the glabella, at the top of the nose.
He passed a scalpel next into one of the incisions just inside the nostril and out the other, and worked the cutting edge around until the septum was separated at the bottom. Then elevated one nostril with a retractor, reached in with Albs clamps and pulled out part of the loose septum. A quick transfer of calipers170 from mask to exposed septum; then with a pair of straight scissors Schoenmaker snipped off a triangular171 wedge of septum. "Now to put everything in place."
Keeping one eye on the mask, he brought together the nasal bones. This narrowed the bridge and eliminated the flat part where the hump had been cut off. He took some time making sure the two halves were lined up dead-center. The bones made a curious crackling sound as he moved them. "For your turned-up nose, we make two sutures."
The "seam" was between the recently-cut edge of the septum and the columella. With needle and needle-holder, two silk stitches were taken obliquely172, through the entire widths of columella and septum.
The operation had taken, in all; less than an hour. They cleaned Esther up, removed the plain gauze packing and replaced it with sulfa ointment173 and more gauze. A strip of adhesive174 tape went on over her nostrils, another over the bridge of the new nose. On top of this went a Stent mold, a tin guard, and more adhesive plaster. Rubber tubes were put in each nostril so she could breathe.
Two days later the packing was removed. The adhesive plaster came off after five days. The sutures came out after seven. The uptilted end product looked ridiculous but Schoenmaker assured her it would come down a little after a few months. It did.
III
That would have been all: except for Esther. Possibly her old humpnosed habits had continued on by virtue175 of momentum176. But never before had she been so passive with any male. Passivity having only one meaning for her, she left the hospital Schoenmaker had sent her to after a day and a night, and roamed the East Side in fugue, scaring people with her white beak177 and a certain shock about the eyes. She was sexually turned on, was all: as if Schoenmaker had located and flipped178 a secret switch or clitoris somewhere inside her nasal cavity. A cavity is a cavity, after all: Trench's gift for metaphor might have been contagious179.
Returning the following week to have the stitches removed, she crossed and uncrossed her legs, batted eyelashes, talked soft: everything crude she knew. Schoenmaker had spotted180 her at the outset as an easy make.
"Come back tomorrow," he told her. Irving was off. Esther arrived the next day garbed181 underneath182 as lacily and with as many fetishes as she could afford. There might even have been a dab183 of Shalimar on the gauze in the center of her face.
In the back room: "How do you feel."
She laughed, too loud. "It hurts. But."
"Yes, but. There are ways to forget the pain."
She seemed unable to get rid of a silly, half-apologetic smile. It stretched her face, adding to the pain in her nose.
"Do you know what we're going to do? No, what I am going to do to you? Of course."
She let him undress her. He commented only on a black garter belt.
"Oh. Oh God." An attack of conscience: Slab184 had given it to her. With love, presumably.
"Stop. Stop the peep-show routine. You're not a virgin185."
Another self-deprecating laugh. "That's just it. Another boy. Gave it to me. Boy that I loved."
She's in shock, he thought, vaguely186 surprised.
"Come. We'll make believe it's your operation. You enjoyed your operation, didn't you."
Through a crack in the curtains opposite Trench looked on. "Lie on the bed. That will be our operating table. You are to get an intermuscular injection."
"No," she cried.
"You have worked on many ways of saying no. No meaning yes. That no I don't like. Say it differently."
"No," with a little moan.
"Different. Again."
"No," this time a smile, eyelids187 at half-mast.
"Again."
"No."
"You're getting better." Unknotting his tie, trousers in a puddle188 about his feet, Schoenmaker serenaded her.
Have I told you, fella She's got the sweetest columella And a septum that's swept 'em all on their ass; Each casual chondrectomy Meant only a big fat check to me Till I sawed this osteoclastible lass:
[Refrain]:
Till you've cut into Esther
You've cut nothing at all;
She's one of the best, Thir,
She never acts nasty
But lies still as a rock;
She loves my rhinoplasty
But the others are schlock.
Esther is passive,
How could any poor ass've
Ever passed her by?
And let me to you say
She puts Ireland to shame;
For her nose is retrousse
And Esther's her name . . .
For the last eight bars she chanted "no" on one and three.
Such was the (as it were) Jacobean etiology of Esther's eventual106 trip to Cuba; which see.
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prim
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delinquent
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| adj.犯法的，有过失的；n.违法者 | |
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wilderness
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| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
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4
paperback
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| n.平装本，简装本 | |
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5
weird
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| adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的 | |
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6
placid
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| adj.安静的，平和的 | |
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7
genial
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| adj.亲切的，和蔼的，愉快的，脾气好的 | |
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8
steering
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| n.操舵装置 | |
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9
tune
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| n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整 | |
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10
tuned
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| adj.调谐的，已调谐的v.调音( tune的过去式和过去分词 )；调整；（给收音机、电视等）调谐；使协调 | |
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11
overture
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| n.前奏曲、序曲，提议，提案，初步交涉 | |
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12
ascended
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| v.上升，攀登( ascend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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13
strings
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| n.弦 | |
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14
shuddering
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| v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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15
cone
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| n.圆锥体，圆锥形东西，球果 | |
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16
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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17
raping
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| v.以暴力夺取，强夺( rape的现在分词 )；强奸 | |
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18
killing
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| n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财 | |
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19
covenant
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| n.盟约，契约；v.订盟约 | |
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20
deviates
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| v.偏离，越轨( deviate的第三人称单数 ) | |
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21
mannerism
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| n.特殊习惯，怪癖 | |
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22
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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23
imps
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| n.（故事中的）小恶魔( imp的名词复数 )；小魔鬼；小淘气；顽童 | |
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24
sentimental
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| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
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25
chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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26
primitive
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| adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物 | |
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27
inertia
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| adj.惰性，惯性，懒惰，迟钝 | |
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28
inert
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| adj.无活动能力的，惰性的；迟钝的 | |
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29
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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30
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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31
skull
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|
| n.头骨；颅骨 | |
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32
impetus
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|
| n.推动，促进，刺激；推动力 | |
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33
coeval
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| adj.同时代的；n.同时代的人或事物 | |
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34
chateau
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| n.城堡，别墅 | |
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35
guts
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|
| v.狼吞虎咽，贪婪地吃，飞碟游戏（比赛双方每组5人，相距15码，互相掷接飞碟）；毁坏（建筑物等）的内部( gut的第三人称单数 )；取出…的内脏n.勇气( gut的名词复数 )；内脏；消化道的下段；肠 | |
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36
labor
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|
| n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦 | |
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37
complexity
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| n.复杂(性)，复杂的事物 | |
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38
flexibility
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| n.柔韧性，弹性，（光的）折射性，灵活性 | |
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39
thwarted
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| 阻挠( thwart的过去式和过去分词 )； 使受挫折； 挫败； 横过 | |
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40
aged
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|
| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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41
liaison
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| n.联系，（未婚男女间的）暖昧关系，私通 | |
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42
aviators
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| 飞机驾驶员，飞行员( aviator的名词复数 ) | |
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43
hysterical
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|
| adj.情绪异常激动的，歇斯底里般的 | |
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44
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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45
trench
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| n./v.(挖)沟，(挖)战壕 | |
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46
trenches
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| 深沟，地沟( trench的名词复数 )； 战壕 | |
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47
taint
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|
| n.污点；感染；腐坏；v.使感染；污染 | |
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48
majestic
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| adj.雄伟的，壮丽的，庄严的，威严的，崇高的 | |
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49
airfield
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| n.飞机场 | |
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50
lone
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|
| adj.孤寂的，单独的；唯一的 | |
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51
survivor
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| n.生存者，残存者，幸存者 | |
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52
tinge
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| vt.(较淡)着色于，染色；使带有…气息；n.淡淡色彩，些微的气息 | |
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53
salute
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| vi.行礼，致意，问候，放礼炮；vt.向…致意，迎接，赞扬；n.招呼，敬礼，礼炮 | |
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54
hoarded
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| v.积蓄并储藏（某物）( hoard的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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55
fervently
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|
| adv.热烈地，热情地，强烈地 | |
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56
travesty
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|
| n.歪曲，嘲弄，滑稽化 | |
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57
animate
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| v.赋于生命，鼓励；adj.有生命的，有生气的 | |
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58
corpse
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| n.尸体，死尸 | |
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59
decided
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|
| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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60
grafts
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| 移植( graft的名词复数 )； 行贿； 接穗； 行贿得到的利益 | |
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61
pariahs
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| n.被社会遗弃者( pariah的名词复数 )；贱民 | |
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62
profane
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|
| adj.亵神的，亵渎的；vt.亵渎，玷污 | |
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63
diesel
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| n.柴油发动机，内燃机 | |
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64
milestone
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|
| n.里程碑；划时代的事件 | |
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65
gaudy
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|
| adj.华而不实的；俗丽的 | |
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66
protruding
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| v.（使某物）伸出，（使某物）突出( protrude的现在分词 )；凸 | |
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67
plausible
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|
| adj.似真实的，似乎有理的，似乎可信的 | |
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68
reconstruction
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| n.重建，再现，复原 | |
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69
spoke
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|
| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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70
flippancy
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|
| n.轻率；浮躁；无礼的行动 | |
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71
stammered
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|
| v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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72
tar
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|
| n.柏油，焦油；vt.涂或浇柏油/焦油于 | |
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73
pawn
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|
| n.典当，抵押，小人物，走卒；v.典当，抵押 | |
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74
limbo
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| n.地狱的边缘；监狱 | |
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75
screwdrivers
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|
| n.螺丝刀( screwdriver的名词复数 )；螺丝起子；改锥；伏特加橙汁鸡尾酒 | |
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76
primitively
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| 最初地，自学而成地 | |
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77
unnatural
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|
| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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78
traitorous
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|
| adj. 叛国的, 不忠的, 背信弃义的 | |
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79
specialty
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| n.(speciality)特性，特质；专业，专长 | |
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80
warehouses
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| 仓库，货栈( warehouse的名词复数 ) | |
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81
administrative
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|
| adj.行政的，管理的 | |
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82
internship
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|
| n.实习医师，实习医师期 | |
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83
alignment
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|
| n.队列；结盟，联合 | |
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84
hatred
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|
| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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85
tenuous
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|
| adj.细薄的，稀薄的，空洞的 | |
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86
plausibly
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| 似真地 | |
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87
vocation
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| n.职业，行业 | |
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88
dedication
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|
| n.奉献，献身，致力，题献，献辞 | |
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89
havoc
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| n.大破坏，浩劫，大混乱，大杂乱 | |
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90
wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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91
condemned
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|
| adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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92
ravages
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| 劫掠后的残迹，破坏的结果，毁坏后的残迹 | |
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93
Undid
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| v. 解开, 复原 | |
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94
automobiles
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| n.汽车( automobile的名词复数 ) | |
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95
civilian
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|
| adj.平民的，民用的，民众的 | |
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96
afflicted
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| 使受痛苦，折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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97
awareness
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| n.意识，觉悟，懂事，明智 | |
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98
interfaces
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| 界面( interface的名词复数 )； 接口（连接两装置的电路，可使数据从一种代码转换成另一种代码）； 交界； 联系 | |
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99
deterioration
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|
| n.退化；恶化；变坏 | |
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100
stencil
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| v.用模版印刷；n.模版；复写纸，蜡纸 | |
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101
frustrations
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| 挫折( frustration的名词复数 )； 失败； 挫败； 失意 | |
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102
benevolence
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| n.慈悲，捐助 | |
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103
languishing
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| a. 衰弱下去的 | |
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104
rusty
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| adj.生锈的；锈色的；荒废了的 | |
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105
adage
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| n.格言，古训 | |
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106
eventual
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| adj.最后的，结局的，最终的 | |
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107
irony
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| n.反语，冷嘲；具有讽刺意味的事，嘲弄 | |
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108
rogues
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| n.流氓( rogue的名词复数 )；无赖；调皮捣蛋的人；离群的野兽 | |
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109
contemplated
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| adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式 | |
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110
fissured
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| adj.裂缝的v.裂开( fissure的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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111
protruded
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| v.（使某物）伸出，（使某物）突出( protrude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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112
densely
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| ad.密集地；浓厚地 | |
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113
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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114
nostril
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| n.鼻孔 | |
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115
nostrils
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| 鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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116
assortment
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| n.分类，各色俱备之物，聚集 | |
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117
tornado
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| n.飓风，龙卷风 | |
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118
hereditary
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| adj.遗传的，遗传性的，可继承的，世袭的 | |
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119
partially
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| adv.部分地，从某些方面讲 | |
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120
collapsed
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| adj.倒塌的 | |
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121
depressed
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| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
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122
crater
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| n.火山口，弹坑 | |
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123
flattened
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| [医]（水）平扁的，弄平的 | |
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124
confirmation
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| n.证实，确认，批准 | |
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125
terrain
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| n.地面，地形，地图 | |
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126
soda
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| n.苏打水；汽水 | |
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127
confessions
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| n.承认( confession的名词复数 )；自首；声明；（向神父的）忏悔 | |
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128
giggled
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| v.咯咯地笑( giggle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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129
aesthetic
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| adj.美学的，审美的，有美感 | |
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130
tilted
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| v. 倾斜的 | |
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131
entails
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| 使…成为必要( entail的第三人称单数 )； 需要； 限定继承； 使必需 | |
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132
artistic
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| adj.艺术(家)的，美术(家)的；善于艺术创作的 | |
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133
aglow
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| adj.发亮的；发红的；adv.发亮地 | |
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134
hovered
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| 鸟( hover的过去式和过去分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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135
iodine
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| n.碘，碘酒 | |
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136
delirium
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| n. 神智昏迷,说胡话;极度兴奋 | |
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137
amnesia
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| n.健忘症，健忘 | |
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138
strapped
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| adj.用皮带捆住的，用皮带装饰的；身无分文的；缺钱；手头紧v.用皮带捆扎(strap的过去式和过去分词)；用皮带抽打；包扎；给…打绷带 | |
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139
sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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surgical
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| adj.外科的，外科医生的，手术上的 | |
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141
malevolent
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| adj.有恶意的，恶毒的 | |
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142
muffled
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| adj.（声音）被隔的；听不太清的；（衣服）裹严的；蒙住的v.压抑，捂住( muffle的过去式和过去分词 )；用厚厚的衣帽包着（自己） | |
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143
sterile
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| adj.不毛的，不孕的，无菌的，枯燥的，贫瘠的 | |
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144
hips
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| abbr.high impact polystyrene 高冲击强度聚苯乙烯，耐冲性聚苯乙烯n.臀部( hip的名词复数 )；[建筑学]屋脊；臀围（尺寸）；臀部…的 | |
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145
constrained
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| adj.束缚的,节制的 | |
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146
metaphor
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| n.隐喻，暗喻 | |
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147
exasperated
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| adj.恼怒的 | |
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148
caressing
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| 爱抚的，表现爱情的，亲切的 | |
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149
trickle
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| vi.淌，滴，流出，慢慢移动，逐渐消散 | |
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150
elude
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| v.躲避，困惑 | |
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151
halfway
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| adj.中途的，不彻底的，部分的；adv.半路地，在中途，在半途 | |
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152
incisions
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| n.切开，切口( incision的名词复数 ) | |
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153
incision
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| n．切口，切开 | |
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154
lining
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| n.衬里，衬料 | |
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155
membrane
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| n.薄膜，膜皮，羊皮纸 | |
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156
lateral
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| adj.侧面的，旁边的 | |
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157
attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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158
chisel
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| n.凿子；v.用凿子刻，雕，凿 | |
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159
attain
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| vt.达到，获得，完成 | |
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160
traumas
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| n.心灵创伤( trauma的名词复数 )；损伤；痛苦经历；挫折 | |
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161
frail
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| adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的 | |
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162
tricky
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| adj.狡猾的，奸诈的；(工作等)棘手的，微妙的 | |
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163
graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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164
hack
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| n.劈，砍，出租马车；v.劈，砍，干咳 | |
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165
snipped
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| v.剪( snip的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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166
triumphantly
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| ad.得意洋洋地；得胜地；成功地 | |
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167
mallet
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| n.槌棒 | |
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168
bastard
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| n.坏蛋，混蛋；私生子 | |
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169
dissecting
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| v.解剖（动物等）( dissect的现在分词 )；仔细分析或研究 | |
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170
calipers
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| n.书法，测径器；测径器 | |
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171
triangular
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| adj.三角（形）的，三者间的 | |
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172
obliquely
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| adv.斜； 倾斜； 间接； 不光明正大 | |
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173
ointment
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| n.药膏，油膏，软膏 | |
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174
adhesive
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| n.粘合剂；adj.可粘着的，粘性的 | |
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175
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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176
momentum
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| n.动力，冲力，势头；动量 | |
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177
beak
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| n.鸟嘴，茶壶嘴，钩形鼻 | |
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178
flipped
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| 轻弹( flip的过去式和过去分词 )； 按（开关）； 快速翻转； 急挥 | |
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179
contagious
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| adj.传染性的，有感染力的 | |
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180
spotted
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| adj.有斑点的，斑纹的，弄污了的 | |
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181
garbed
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| v.（尤指某类人穿的特定）服装，衣服，制服( garb的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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182
underneath
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| adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面 | |
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183
dab
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| v.轻触，轻拍，轻涂；n.(颜料等的)轻涂 | |
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184
slab
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| n.平板，厚的切片；v.切成厚板，以平板盖上 | |
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185
virgin
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| n.处女，未婚女子；adj.未经使用的；未经开发的 | |
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186
vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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187
eyelids
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| n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 )；眼睛也不眨一下；不露声色；面不改色 | |
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188
puddle
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| n.(雨)水坑，泥潭 | |
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189
thrall
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| n.奴隶；奴隶制 | |
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190
aplomb
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| n.沉着，镇静 | |
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