APPENDIX II

 

 

"HIGH-HANDED OUTRAGE¹ AT UTICA" 

By Artemus Ward²

Bishop³ Fowler and other lecturers and authors have drawn⁴ for us beautiful pictures of Lincoln reading to his Cabinet a chapter in the Bible before submitting his draft of the Emancipation⁵ Proclamation. The true story of that incident is related in the foregoing pages. It may be that some readers who are unfamiliar⁶ with the now little-read writings of "Artemus Ward" will be glad to know precisely⁷ what it was that the President read on that day; and as the chapter is very short, it will be given herewith.

No form of literature is more evanescent than humor. The fun-loving public of one generation labors⁸ hard to discover the reasons why other generations laughed over the old-time jokes. But there are elements in Artemus Ward that still provoke a smile. The chapter which amused Lincoln on that day related to the virtue⁹ of a community which would not permit the exhibition of Artemus Ward's famous Wax Works because the reproduction of the Last Supper contained the figure of Judas. Some reader may need to be told that there was no such show. The author of this and the other burlesques¹⁰ that bore the name of Artemus Ward (Charles F. Browne), presented himself in these sketches¹¹ as a good-natured humbug¹², running a "highly moral show" with "Wax-figgers" and other attractions. He was never so delightful¹³ as when disclosing his own shams¹⁴, as when the mob pulled the hay out of the fat man.

Browne's book had a chapter in which he assisted Lincoln to form his Cabinet. His first assistance was to turn out all the office-seekers by threatening to turn his "Boy Constrictor" in[Pg 308] among them; and then advised Mr. Lincoln to fill his Cabinet with Showmen, all of whom were honest and had nary a politic¹⁶; "for particulars see small bills." This and other chapters delighted Lincoln; but the one he read to his Cabinet just before presenting the second draft of the Emancipation Proclamation, was the following:

High-handed Outrage at Utica

In the Faul of 1856, I showed my show in Utiky, a trooly grate sitty in the State of New York.

The people gave me a cordyal recepshun. The press was loud in her prases.

1 day as I was giving a description of my Beests and Snaiks in my usual flowry stile what was my skorn & disgust to see a big burly fellew walk up to the cage containin my wax figgers of the Lord's Supper, and cease Judas Iscarrot by the feet and drag him onto the ground. He then commenced fur to pound him as hard as he cood.

"What under the son are you abowt?" cried I.

Sez he, "What did you brung this pussylanermus cuss here fur?" & he hit the wax figger another tremjis blow on the hed.

Sez I, "You egrejes ass¹⁵, that air's a wax figger—a representashun of the false 'Postle."

Sez he, "That's all very well fur you to say but I tell you, old man, that Judas Iscarrot can't show hisself in Utiky by a darn site!" with whuch observashun he caved in Judassis hed. The young man belonged to 1 of the first famerlies in Utiky. I sood him, and the Joory brawt in a verdick of Arson¹⁷ in the 3rd degree.

1 outrage   

n.暴行，侮辱，愤怒；vt.凌辱，激怒

参考例句：

• When he heard the news he reacted with a sense of outrage.他得悉此事时义愤填膺。
• We should never forget the outrage committed by the Japanese invaders.我们永远都不应该忘记日本侵略者犯下的暴行。

2 ward   

n.守卫，监护，病房，行政区，由监护人或法院保护的人（尤指儿童）；vt.守护，躲开

参考例句：

• The hospital has a medical ward and a surgical ward.这家医院有内科病房和外科病房。
• During the evening picnic,I'll carry a torch to ward off the bugs.傍晚野餐时，我要点根火把，抵挡蚊虫。

3 bishop   

n.主教，（国际象棋）象

参考例句：

• He was a bishop who was held in reverence by all.他是一位被大家都尊敬的主教。
• Two years after his death the bishop was canonised.主教逝世两年后被正式封为圣者。

4 drawn   

v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的

参考例句：

• All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
• Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。

5 emancipation   

n.（从束缚、支配下）解放

参考例句：

• We must arouse them to fight for their own emancipation. 我们必须唤起他们为其自身的解放而斗争。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• They rejoiced over their own emancipation. 他们为自己的解放感到欢欣鼓舞。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 unfamiliar   

adj.陌生的，不熟悉的

参考例句：

• I am unfamiliar with the place and the people here.我在这儿人地生疏。
• The man seemed unfamiliar to me.这人很面生。

7 precisely   

adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地

参考例句：

• It's precisely that sort of slick sales-talk that I mistrust.我不相信的正是那种油腔滑调的推销宣传。
• The man adjusted very precisely.那个人调得很准。

8 labors   

v.努力争取(for)( labor的第三人称单数 )；苦干；详细分析；（指引擎）缓慢而困难地运转

参考例句：

• He was tiresome in contending for the value of his own labors. 他老为他自己劳动的价值而争强斗胜，令人生厌。 来自辞典例句
• Farm labors used to hire themselves out for the summer. 农业劳动者夏季常去当雇工。 来自辞典例句

9 virtue   

n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力

参考例句：

• He was considered to be a paragon of virtue.他被认为是品德尽善尽美的典范。
• You need to decorate your mind with virtue.你应该用德行美化心灵。

10 burlesques   

n.滑稽模仿( burlesque的名词复数 )；（包括脱衣舞的）滑稽歌舞杂剧v.（嘲弄地）模仿，（通过模仿）取笑( burlesque的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

11 sketches   

n.草图( sketch的名词复数 )；素描；速写；梗概

参考例句：

• The artist is making sketches for his next painting. 画家正为他的下一幅作品画素描。
• You have to admit that these sketches are true to life. 你得承认这些素描很逼真。 来自《简明英汉词典》

12 humbug   

n.花招，谎话，欺骗

参考例句：

• I know my words can seem to him nothing but utter humbug.我知道，我说的话在他看来不过是彻头彻尾的慌言。
• All their fine words are nothing but humbug.他们的一切花言巧语都是骗人的。

13 delightful   

adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的

参考例句：

• We had a delightful time by the seashore last Sunday.上星期天我们在海滨玩得真痛快。
• Peter played a delightful melody on his flute.彼得用笛子吹奏了一支欢快的曲子。

14 shams   

假象( sham的名词复数 )； 假货； 虚假的行为（或感情、言语等）； 假装…的人

参考例句：

• Are those real diamonds or only shams? 那些是真钻石还是赝品？
• Tear away their veil of shams! 撕开他们的假面具吧！

15 ass   

n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人

参考例句：

• He is not an ass as they make him.他不象大家猜想的那样笨。
• An ass endures his burden but not more than his burden.驴能负重但不能超过它能力所负担的。

16 politic   

adj.有智虑的；精明的；v.从政

参考例句：

• He was too politic to quarrel with so important a personage.他很聪明，不会与这么重要的人争吵。
• The politic man tried not to offend people.那个精明的人尽量不得罪人。

17 arson   

n.纵火，放火

参考例句：

• He was serving a ten spot for arson.他因纵火罪在服十年徒刑。
• He was arraigned on a charge of arson.他因被指控犯纵火罪而被传讯。