INTRODUCTION

 Life would be much simpler if love among human beings were similar to love among the animals. At mating time, any animal of any species feels automatically attracted to any animal of the opposite sex belonging to the same species. Age, appearance or relationship seem of no account in the animal world. The love activities begin at a definite time of the year, have as their obvious and exclusive purpose the reproduction of the species and, after attaining¹ their goal, end very early in the summer of the same year. An exception may be made for a few wild and domesticated² animals which have several mating seasons and for a few survivals of the prehistoric³ fauna⁴, like the elephants, among which the family group seems more permanent than among more "recent" biological specimens⁵.

Nor do love activities among the animals result in lasting⁶ disturbances⁷ of their psychological life. In certain varieties of fish the male never even sees the female whose eggs he fecundates. While we [Pg vi] observe at times duels⁸ to the death between two males for the possession of one female (elks or moose), animal life seems to suffer few lasting complications from the fact of such conflicts, which, like animal love, are purely⁹ seasonal¹⁰.

A greater regularity¹¹ of the food supply which has intensified¹² the sex urge among human beings and removed its seasonal character, and the progress of civilization which, for economic reasons, has placed upon the union of male and female a thousand restrictions¹³, has complicated terribly what was merely among animals a periodic biological activity.

Restrictions, however, never bring about the complete suppression of biological cravings and merely compel them to remain repressed for varying periods of time. Repressed cravings, denied a direct normal outlet¹⁴, create for themselves indirect, morbid¹⁵ outlets¹⁶.

We are little more than civilized¹⁷ animals who have been trained not to reveal their primal¹⁸ cravings at certain forbidden times and places.

The cravings are there, struggling for expression and denial of their reality does not suffice to make them unreal. It only invests them with morbidity¹⁹ and abnormality.

Much of the fearsome mystery which surrounds [Pg vii] sex is due to the fact that we have forgotten our origin. We have set up a goal which, like all goals worth striving for, is far ahead of the human procession and somewhere between the earth and the stars. But that goal should not cause us to forget our starting point.

It happens too often that "what we should be" blinds us to "what we really are." Hence our surprise, our puzzled expression, our painful disappointment, when one of us reveals himself suddenly as he is instead of as he should be. Hence our absurd statutes²⁰ which punish the laggards²¹ on the road of evolution instead of helping²² them along. Hence our fears in the presence of a mystery we have made mysterious, of a danger we have made dangerous and which we make more terrifying yet by burying our heads in the sand.

To this day the study of love has been considered as the almost exclusive province of poets, playwrights²³, novelists, movie authors and philosophers.

Those people have reveled in love's dramatic complications which they have, whenever possible, exaggerated, for "artistic²⁴" reasons. Instead of clarifying the problem, they have beclouded it.

In anglo-saxon countries a class of neurotics²⁵ countenanced²⁷ by the police and the courts, the puritans, [Pg viii] have further distorted the popular misconception of love by swathing it in the morbid veils woven by their unhealthy minds.

It is high time, therefore, that the subject of love be reviewed from an impartial²⁸ angle, from a purely scientific point of view.

Only one science is qualified²⁹ to undertake that review, psychoanalysis, for it has effected in the last twenty years a synthesis of all the data which biology, neurology, endocrinology and other sciences have contributed to the knowledge of human psychology³⁰ and of the human personality.

No scientist is satisfied with his findings unless they can be described in terms of accurate measurements, hence, repeated and checked up by any other scientist having acquired the requisite³¹ minimum of technical skill.

The basis for such a study of love was established by the great pioneer in the science of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud of Vienna.

By his masterly analysis of the sex life, to which, however, he has ascribed an undue³² importance, he has stripped love of many veils which made it look like a scarecrow. His successors, recognizing the importance of other factors in the love life, ego³³ cravings, organic predispositions, etc., have in turn [Pg ix] stripped love of other veils which made it look too romantically unreal.

Thus we are gradually reaching the heart of the problem.

Love to-day is no longer animal love, nor is it as yet angelic love. We are no longer beasts, altho the primal beast still disports³⁴ itself in our unconscious. Nor are we angels, arduous³⁵ as our striving toward the stars may be. To determine what love should be, could be or might be, seems to be an academic waste of time and little else.

To determine, on the other hand, what love REALLY IS AT THE PRESENT DAY, what actual level it has reached, to explain some of the difficulties it encounters in trying to remain on that level, and finally to suggest to MEN AND WOMEN OF TO-DAY workable modes of adaption at that level, shall be the mission of this book.

In the coming chapters, I will show that our choice of a mate is as completely "determined³⁶" as any other biological phenomenon; that the "reasons" for that choice are compelling "habits" acquired in our childhood and infancy³⁷ within the family circle; that our "standards of beauty" are memories from childhood and infancy; that in our search for a mate we are influenced as powerfully by ego and safety cravings [Pg x] as by sex cravings that the so-called "perversions³⁸" are due, at times, to wrong training, at times, to organic disabilities and at times to unrecognized safety cravings; that jealousy³⁹ is, in the majority of cases, due to ego cravings, not to sex cravings; finally that no perfect adjustment of the married relation can be brought about until democracy obtains in the home, replacing the various forms of autocracy⁴⁰ against which bullied⁴¹ wives and henpecked husbands have directed many ineffective, neurotic²⁶ revolts.

New York City

June 1, 1922

1 attaining   

（通常经过努力）实现( attain的现在分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况）

参考例句：

• Jim is halfway to attaining his pilot's licence. 吉姆就快要拿到飞行员执照了。
• By that time she was attaining to fifty. 那时她已快到五十岁了。

2 domesticated   

adj.喜欢家庭生活的；（指动物）被驯养了的v.驯化( domesticate的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He is thoroughly domesticated and cooks a delicious chicken casserole. 他精于家务，烹制的砂锅炖小鸡非常可口。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The donkey is a domesticated form of the African wild ass. 驴是非洲野驴的一种已驯化的品种。 来自《简明英汉词典》

3 prehistoric   

adj.（有记载的）历史以前的，史前的，古老的

参考例句：

• They have found prehistoric remains.他们发现了史前遗迹。
• It was rather like an exhibition of prehistoric electronic equipment.这儿倒像是在展览古老的电子设备。

4 fauna   

n.(一个地区或时代的)所有动物，动物区系

参考例句：

• This National Park is an area with unique fauna and flora.该国家公园区域内具有独特的动物种群和植物种群。
• Fauna is a biological notion means all the animal life in a particular region or period. 动物群是一个生物学的概念，指的是一个特定时期或者地区的所有动物。

5 specimens   

n.样品( specimen的名词复数 )；范例；（化验的）抽样；某种类型的人

参考例句：

• Astronauts have brought back specimens of rock from the moon. 宇航员从月球带回了岩石标本。
• The traveler brought back some specimens of the rocks from the mountains. 那位旅行者从山上带回了一些岩石标本。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 lasting   

adj.永久的，永恒的；vbl.持续，维持

参考例句：

• The lasting war debased the value of the dollar.持久的战争使美元贬值。
• We hope for a lasting settlement of all these troubles.我们希望这些纠纷能获得永久的解决。

7 disturbances   

n.骚乱( disturbance的名词复数 )；打扰；困扰；障碍

参考例句：

• The government has set up a commission of inquiry into the disturbances at the prison. 政府成立了一个委员会来调查监狱骚乱事件。
• Extra police were called in to quell the disturbances. 已调集了增援警力来平定骚乱。

8 duels   

n.两男子的决斗( duel的名词复数 )；竞争，斗争

参考例句：

• That's where I usually fight my duels. 我经常在那儿进行决斗。” 来自英语晨读30分（初三）
• Hyde Park also became a favourite place for duels. 海德公园也成了决斗的好地方。 来自辞典例句

9 purely   

adv.纯粹地，完全地

参考例句：

• I helped him purely and simply out of friendship.我帮他纯粹是出于友情。
• This disproves the theory that children are purely imitative.这证明认为儿童只会单纯地模仿的理论是站不住脚的。

10 seasonal   

adj.季节的，季节性的

参考例句：

• The town relies on the seasonal tourist industry for jobs.这个城镇依靠季节性旅游业提供就业机会。
• The hors d'oeuvre is seasonal vegetables.餐前小吃是应时蔬菜。

11 regularity   

n.规律性，规则性；匀称，整齐

参考例句：

• The idea is to maintain the regularity of the heartbeat.问题就是要维持心跳的规律性。
• He exercised with a regularity that amazed us.他锻炼的规律程度令我们非常惊讶。

12 intensified   

v.（使）增强， （使）加剧( intensify的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Violence intensified during the night. 在夜间暴力活动加剧了。
• The drought has intensified. 旱情加剧了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

13 restrictions   

约束( restriction的名词复数 )； 管制； 制约因素； 带限制性的条件（或规则）

参考例句：

• I found the restrictions irksome. 我对那些限制感到很烦。
• a snaggle of restrictions 杂乱无章的种种限制

14 outlet   

n.出口/路；销路；批发商店；通风口；发泄

参考例句：

• The outlet of a water pipe was blocked.水管的出水口堵住了。
• Running is a good outlet for his energy.跑步是他发泄过剩精力的好方法。

15 morbid   

adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的

参考例句：

• Some people have a morbid fascination with crime.一些人对犯罪有一种病态的痴迷。
• It's morbid to dwell on cemeteries and such like.不厌其烦地谈论墓地以及诸如此类的事是一种病态。

16 outlets   

n.出口( outlet的名词复数 )；经销店；插座；廉价经销店

参考例句：

• The dumping of foreign cotton blocked outlets for locally grown cotton. 外国棉花的倾销阻滞了当地生产的棉花的销路。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• They must find outlets for their products. 他们必须为自己的产品寻找出路。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

17 civilized   

a.有教养的，文雅的

参考例句：

• Racism is abhorrent to a civilized society. 文明社会憎恶种族主义。
• rising crime in our so-called civilized societies 在我们所谓文明社会中日益增多的犯罪行为

18 primal   

adj.原始的；最重要的

参考例句：

• Jealousy is a primal emotion.嫉妒是最原始的情感。
• Money was a primal necessity to them.对于他们，钱是主要的需要。

19 morbidity   

n.病态；不健全；发病；发病率

参考例句：

• MC's also significantly reduce the morbidity and mortality induced by honeybee venom. 肥大细胞同样也能显著降低蜜蜂毒液诱发疾病的发病率和死亡率。 来自互联网
• The result shows that incidence of myopia morbidity is 44.84%. 结果表明：近视眼的发病率为44.84%。 来自互联网

20 statutes   

成文法( statute的名词复数 )； 法令； 法规； 章程

参考例句：

• The numerous existing statutes are complicated and poorly coordinated. 目前繁多的法令既十分复杂又缺乏快调。 来自英汉非文学 - 环境法 - 环境法
• Each agency is also restricted by the particular statutes governing its activities. 各个机构的行为也受具体法令限制。 来自英汉非文学 - 环境法 - 环境法

21 laggards   

n.落后者( laggard的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• I would say the best students at Chengdu are no laggards. 依我看成都最优秀的学生绝不逊色。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The laggards include utilities and telecommunications, up about % and 12% respectively, to MSCI. 据摩根士丹利资本国际的数据，涨幅居后的包括公用事业和电信类股，分别涨了约%和12%。 来自互联网

22 helping   

n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的

参考例句：

• The poor children regularly pony up for a second helping of my hamburger. 那些可怜的孩子们总是要求我把我的汉堡包再给他们一份。
• By doing this, they may at times be helping to restore competition. 这样一来, 他在某些时候,有助于竞争的加强。

23 playwrights   

n.剧作家( playwright的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• We're studying dramatic texts by sixteenth century playwrights. 我们正在研究16 世纪戏剧作家的戏剧文本。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Hung-chien asked who the playwrights were. 鸿渐问谁写的剧本。 来自汉英文学 - 围城

24 artistic   

adj.艺术(家)的，美术(家)的；善于艺术创作的

参考例句：

• The picture on this screen is a good artistic work.这屏风上的画是件很好的艺术品。
• These artistic handicrafts are very popular with foreign friends.外国朋友很喜欢这些美术工艺品。

25 neurotics   

n.神经官能症的( neurotic的名词复数 )；神经质的；神经过敏的；极为焦虑的

参考例句：

• Freud focused on neurotics, but his conclusions were relevant to mankind as a whole. 弗洛伊德着力研究神经病，但他的结论与整个人类相关。 来自互联网

26 neurotic   

adj.神经病的，神经过敏的；n.神经过敏者，神经病患者

参考例句：

• Nothing is more distracting than a neurotic boss. 没有什么比神经过敏的老板更恼人的了。
• There are also unpleasant brain effects such as anxiety and neurotic behaviour.也会对大脑产生不良影响，如焦虑和神经质的行为。

27 countenanced   

v.支持，赞同，批准( countenance的过去式 )

参考例句：

28 impartial   

adj.(in,to)公正的，无偏见的

参考例句：

• He gave an impartial view of the state of affairs in Ireland.他对爱尔兰的事态发表了公正的看法。
• Careers officers offer impartial advice to all pupils.就业指导员向所有学生提供公正无私的建议。

29 qualified   

adj.合格的，有资格的，胜任的，有限制的

参考例句：

• He is qualified as a complete man of letters.他有资格当真正的文学家。
• We must note that we still lack qualified specialists.我们必须看到我们还缺乏有资质的专家。

30 psychology   

n.心理，心理学，心理状态

参考例句：

• She has a background in child psychology.她受过儿童心理学的教育。
• He studied philosophy and psychology at Cambridge.他在剑桥大学学习哲学和心理学。

31 requisite   

adj.需要的，必不可少的；n.必需品

参考例句：

• He hasn't got the requisite qualifications for the job.他不具备这工作所需的资格。
• Food and air are requisite for life.食物和空气是生命的必需品。

32 undue   

adj.过分的；不适当的；未到期的

参考例句：

• Don't treat the matter with undue haste.不要过急地处理此事。
• It would be wise not to give undue importance to his criticisms.最好不要过分看重他的批评。

33 ego   

n.自我，自己，自尊

参考例句：

• He is absolute ego in all thing.在所有的事情上他都绝对自我。
• She has been on an ego trip since she sang on television.她上电视台唱过歌之后就一直自吹自擂。

34 disports   

v.嬉戏，玩乐，自娱( disport的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• What ardent, imaginative soul has not a secret pleasureplace in which it disports? 热情奔放，耽于冥想的心灵，怎么会没有一个供它嬉戏的秘密乐园呢？ 来自辞典例句

35 arduous   

adj.艰苦的，费力的，陡峭的

参考例句：

• We must have patience in doing arduous work.我们做艰苦的工作要有耐性。
• The task was more arduous than he had calculated.这项任务比他所估计的要艰巨得多。

36 determined   

adj.坚定的；有决心的

参考例句：

• I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
• He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。

37 infancy   

n.婴儿期；幼年期；初期

参考例句：

• He came to England in his infancy.他幼年时期来到英国。
• Their research is only in its infancy.他们的研究处于初级阶段。

38 perversions   

n.歪曲( perversion的名词复数 )；变坏；变态心理

参考例句：

• Many practices commonly regarded as perversions were widespread. 许多通常认为是性变态的行为的做法实际上是广泛存在的。 来自辞典例句

39 jealousy   

n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌

参考例句：

• Some women have a disposition to jealousy.有些女人生性爱妒忌。
• I can't support your jealousy any longer.我再也无法忍受你的嫉妒了。

40 autocracy   

n.独裁政治，独裁政府

参考例句：

• The revolution caused the overthrow of the autocracy.这场革命导致了独裁政体的结束。
• Many poor countries are abandoning autocracy.很多贫穷国家都在放弃独裁统治。

41 bullied   

adj.被欺负了v.恐吓，威逼( bully的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• My son is being bullied at school. 我儿子在学校里受欺负。
• The boy bullied the small girl into giving him all her money. 那男孩威逼那个小女孩把所有的钱都给他。 来自《简明英汉词典》