"there's nothing more boring than a well-traveled person."
The old tub was mounted on the bruised1 feet of an ambiguous creature, possibly an imperialistic2 lion. Opel batted some suds off her nose. She wallowed in the hour-old foam3, occasionally adding hot water, sinking quickly to her neck whenever she felt a chill in the room.
"So you've got nothing to tell me," I said.
"It's boring. Who cares? People who travel a great deal lose their souls at some point. All these lost souls are up there in the ozone4. They get emitted from jet aircraft along with the well-known noxious5 chemicals. There's a soul belt up there. People who travel talk about nothing but travel. Before, during and after. This is the world's worst soap, Bucky. Shit, you come into my apartment and live here and go out shopping and bring back absolute crap in the way of amenities6 for the body. How's a girl supposed to stay pretty? Least you can do is come rub my back. There's a tremendous inner sort of destructiveness to travel talk in the midst of travel. Also too much travel simply isolates8 people. It narrows them. It makes them boring."
I decided9 to walk into the tub, not bothering to take off my clothes. We splashed around for a while. That sort of thing isn't fun for long. Opel stepped out of the tub, dried herself and got into bed. I changed clothes and followed. It was probably late afternoon. I was never sure of time while she was there. Alone I lived in the emergency of minutes, in phases of dim compliance10 with the mind's turning hand. The room had seasons and I responded to these; it was the only way to evade11 chaos12. I knew the phases. I did not fear the crisis inherent in time because I borrowed order from it, shifting with the systematic13 light, sitting still in darkness. Now none of this mattered. There was a mind besides my own, closing over the room. All need for phases soon vanished, as did all hope of order. We remained in bed a long time, getting up only when necessary. The bed became a shelter within the room. We saw no reason to undress when getting in or to dress when getting out. No one thing kept us there. We immersed ourselves in love and conversation, favoring the latter, ready to settle for the pastels of sex, these milder pleasures being all we could hope to know in our combined quiescence14. We lived in bed as old couples rock on porches, without hurry or need, content to blend into benevolent15 materials, to become, for instance, wood. Even the weather seemed distant, that hard winter pressing less insistently16 on the window. Opel talked a great deal, delivering herself of observations, conceits17 and verities18. Her more complex monologues19 were spiral staircases with no ultimate step, just an attractive patch of surreal sky. Other times she inhabited moods of bottomless gloom. My own talk was spare, consisting mainly of background noise. Each day passed, detached from time, linked to no causal nexus20, an accident of form and consolidation21. The room was striped in transitional light. Through morning's polar tones we huddled22 under blankets, opening our bodies only to the dark, babbling23 all the time, eating limp sandwiches and swilling24 tea. The bed grew in splendor25 and it began to seem imperative26 that we remain there. I chose this moment to leave.
"Dip up some ice cream, will you, Bucky?"
"I've been managing without the refrigerator. But I'll go out and get some if you want."
"What are you doing in that chair?"
"Change of scene."
"Not that it's not good riddance. This bed isn't meant for more than one, unless it's wee folk we're talking about, and even then they'd better lie still."
"Do you need a doctor?" I said.
"What for?"
"Nausea27 and vomiting28. Cramps29. Back pains. Body tremors30. Fevers. Headaches. Coughing spasms31. Severe depression."
"That sounds more like you than me. You're the one who looks on the verge32. I take medication for my inner organs, to show them I care whether or not they function. I take medication, Bucky. What do you take? You look on the absolute brink33. You're functioning day to day on leftover34 nervous energy. I take medication. Except when I forget."
"Do you want me to go out for some?"
"Some what?" she said.
"Ice cream."
"Some basic weed to suck up might be nice."
"I'd have to get in touch with Hanes. He'd probably have access to just about anything."
"Not Hanes for now. All the fun's gone out of sexual ambiguity35. Hanes was never one of my favorite people anyway. Remember how he was always underfoot? A very snaky boy. Sheer snake. Heavy-lidded reptile36 eyes. But the real reason I don't like him is because he's hard to forget. Every so often I find myself thinking of Hanes. I hate people I don't like who are hard to forget."
"And you're jealous of his heavy-lidded eyes," I said.
True.
"You've always wanted heavy-lidded eyes."
"Too true."
"Why did you come back? What kind of business? It's cold here, Opel. You're never happy when it's cold."
"I need money, Bucky. Some people offered me an assignment. I'm taking them up on it."
"Maybe I can arrange for you to have some money. Whatever you need for now."
"No, this is business. I'm here to deal. What I make is mine. There's a package here, right?"
"In that trunk."
"I assume it's dope."
"The package contains a raw sampling of what was described to me as the ultimate drug," she said. "Happy Valley Farm Commune stole this stuff from a research installation out on Long Island. The stuff is new, just been developed, has no trade name. They think it's some kind of massive-strength product. But really massive. A colossal38 downer. They'll know for sure once they get it tested. Happy Valley's anxious to market the stuff but this is their first dope venture on a large scale and they want to be sure not to fuck things up. They don't want to operate out front either. They prefer to work through intermediaries and cover people and so on. I don't want to sound like a gossip columnist39 of the underground but people have been whispering about this event for weeks now. The dope was taken from a top-secret installation. U.S. Guv. So people figure it's something vicious, mean and nasty. Something U.S. Guv has been putting together to brainwash gooks or radicals40. People are anxious to try it and see. People are agog41. They're convening42 in out-of-the-way places and whispering to each other. They're stopping cars on the street and passing the word. Everybody's anxious to get off on this stuff. If U.S. Guv is involved, the stuff is bound to be a real mind-crusher. Anyway that's the consensus43. People are agog. It's the dawning of the age of God knows what."
"Your job is to put the stuff in hollowed-out chocolate bunnies and take a plane to Miami."
"I've advanced," she said. "I'm bargaining agent for Happy Valley. I have bargaining powers. I wheel and deal. I don't just hang around the principal parties trying to win Brownie points. There'll be a courier all right but it won't be me. What happens is we'll take the stuff to wherever Dr. Pepper is located these days. Latest word is Dr. Pepper doesn't travel anymore. There's an obvious risk in going to a registered lab so we go to Pepper. Then I haggle44 for his services. He tells me what the product's chemical capacities are, whether he can manufacture it in sufficient quantities, how much street value it has. So on, so on, so on. Eventually Happy Valley wants to set up a network of wholesalers, retailers45 and distributors. But for right now what they need is a technical consultant46."
"I've been hearing about Dr. Pepper for years," I said. "But never set eyes on the man."
"Some men are legends in their own time. Dr. Pepper is merely a rumor47. He's without a doubt the scientific genius of the underground. But very elusive48 and very crazy and even wears disguises of various kinds. Happy Valley is almost sure they know where he is. Once the location is verified they'll assign a man to me and he'll come walking up the stairs in order to knock on this very door. I will hand him the product and off we'll go to grandmother's house. When the job's all done I will prepare and submit an expense voucher49. This is known as finalizing50 the details of remuneration. Just so you don't think it's all so smooth, I might mention there are two distinct factions51 at Happy Valley. Certain amount of dissension. That's one of the reasons the product ended up here. The one thing they agree on is your integrity. The true blue example of your life and work, ha ha. They refuse to come in direct contact with you. They consider it an infringement52 of the worst sort. They're believe it or not very apologetic about involving you in this thing and only did it as a gesture of homage53. They have a quaint54 sense of theater, like all barbarians55."
"Time being you just sit and wait, is that it?"
"I don't speak till I'm spoken to," she said. "I just sprawl56 out in bed and wait for events to take shape."
"In other words you don't initiate57."
"I maintain."
"You maintain while others initiate."
"The operative is the one who initiates58." "And eventually there'll be a transaction." "It depends on the operative. The operative is also the intermediary. Both of them get their instructions from the comptroller. I just sit here until somebody turns up at the door. A tall laconic59 man with a scar. No, a hip60 black business-type, that's what I want. One of those purple Cadillac freaks. Stoned behind the wheel of a bulletproof limousine61 with silver and gold brocade upholstery. A slow-motion sprinter62, that's what I want, neatly63 spaced on your better-grade euphoriants. I want to carry a Mark Cross briefcase64 and travel in a purple Caddy."
"Would Happy Valley have blacks working for them?"
"The boundaries are getting indistinct. You never know. Where you've got profit motive65 the possibilities are endless. But in other ways the lines are getting thicker and straighter. So you never know."
"This business about privacy. What do you know about that?"
Opel took a long breath, obviously bored by the prospect66 of delivering an interpretation67.
"Happy Valley thinks privacy is the essential freedom this nation, country or republic offered in the beginning. They think you exemplify some old idea of men alone with the land. You stepped out of your legend to pursue personal freedom. There is no freedom, according to them, without privacy. The return of the private man, according to them, is the only way to destroy the notion of mass man. Mass man ruined our freedoms for us. Turning inward will get them back. Revolutionary solitude68. Turn inward one and all. Isolate7 yourself mentally, spiritually and physically69, on and on, world without end. Sustain your privacy with aggressive self-defense."
"Killer70," I said. "Killer ideas. Heavier than cotton candy. Puts me in the mood to read something. About time I read something. What do you have in the house that I can read?"
"What do you want to read about? People, places or things?"
"Things," I said.
"Why not people, creepo?"
"I'm not very interested in human relationships."
"Get behind some coke, Bucky. Shit, if you're interested in reading about things, you might as well take a little sniffy now and again. In the long run that's where thingness lies. I met a track star in Dakar. Australian. There to compete in the games. I don't know what games he meant. He kept saying the games. Here for the games. Compete in the games. He gave me some nothing dope. Whatever athletes use. Zero effect. Stepped on about forty times. This is funny. Let me tell you this. I'm sitting in his room waiting and waiting. The games. Here for the games. Compete in the games. Outside the streets are full of lepers. I'm waiting and waiting and waiting."
She went on with the story. It seemed to take hours. I sat in my chair and Fenig paced his floor. This was a perfectly71 acceptable sonic environment. It was as though tapes of remixed sounds had been run through a computer to extend their frequency range. There was a consoling remoteness to sound now. It lapped across the room in wave-shaped bands, touching72 nothing. What was said existed on a plane behind the words themselves. Opel was a lump in the bed. I drifted around the room, returning eventually to the circular chair, happy to dwell in the syntonic dome73 of well-engineered voices.
"I don't guess you care to hear about the galvanized tank under the choir74 loft75. Back home's what I'm talking about as a matter of fact."
"Tell me about West Africa," I said. "How would you rate it in terms of its being timeless? Using, say, Yemen as the norm. Give Yemen a mean rating of ten even. Okay, where does that put West Africa?"
"It's too dull to talk about. I only mentioned it in the first place to get my point across. Thingness. If you're interested in things, either take dope or travel to an ancient country. When's the last time you consumed something?"
"The last something I consumed was an animal tran-quilizer. That was maybe eleven weeks ago, give or take five or six weeks."
"What was it like?" she said.
"I really don't remember. It was Dodge76 and me. We were on a hotel roof. We were looking down on the rooftops of the city. Whatever city it was. And I was trying to work out a theory about how you can determine the psychic77 state of a given society by looking down on its rooftops. Dodge meantime was cackling over this little plastic box he had in his hand."
"It's quiet, isn't it?"
"Yes," I said.
"What's going to happen to all of us?"
"All of who?"
"I thought it was best to go someplace completely different. Everything was over. Nobody even knew what to wear anymore. The music didn't mean the same thing. I used to absolutely disappear in that sound. But then it ended. What do you do when something ends? I thought it best to go away."
"Sure."
"What are you laughing at?" she said.
"I don't know. I really don't."
"Then stop."
"I'm trying — really."
"Go ahead, laugh. Bastard78. Laugh at nothing. It helps pass the time."
"I'm trying to stop," I said.
"No, laugh. I want you to."
"Should I laugh or not? I'm trying to stop. But now you're telling me laugh. I can't talk. Wait a minute. It hurts. Should I laugh or shut up? It really hurts."
"Laugh, idiot."
"Okay, it's over now. It's all over. Wait a minute. It's not over. It's starting again. It's coming up from my appendix. It's beginning to hurt some more."
"You were laughing at what I said. Bastard. All I said was the whole thing was over."
"And you were right to go," I said. "It was better than staying."
"All through now? All finished with your private riot?"
"I think so."
"When are you going back to them?" she said.
"Back to them-who?"
"Here it comes. Another five minutes. Choke, choke, sputter79. Somebody give him a bedpan to gurgle into."
"No, I'm stopping. It was a flurry left over from the other one. When am I going back to them? I know exactly who you mean. The people. The crowd. The audience. The fans. The followers80."
"The public," she said.
"When I have something to go back with. Something or nothing. Nothing takes more time."
She was sitting up now. I reached over the side of the chair and lifted several tissues out of the box on the floor. I rolled them up and decided to toss them over to Opel because I knew she would clap her hands softly as soon as she realized my intention and I wanted to witness that small gesture of hers, simple prefix81 to a game of catch, the mildest of handclaps transformed to a radiant act of grace by the beauty of the child reconstructed in the gesture. After the toss and catch we rested a while, allowing our brief symmetry to decompose82.
"I don't guess you care to hear about my piano teacher's biblical sky. This is down-home regional material you can't get just anywheres."
"Hardly hear your voice."
"I'm under the covers again."
"Is that you?" I said. "I thought it was me. I've been sitting here thinking that mound83 was me. Or that mound had me under it."
"How could you think that? You're there and I'm here. You're the chair. I'm the bed."
"I knew you were there but then I forgot. I knew earlier. Opel Hampson, I thought. It's her and she's there. But then I somehow forgot."
"Maybe you'd better get back over here. Or maybe if I uncovered myself."
"I used to be such a normal boy."
"That was before my time. That was long before I ever set eyes on your celebrated84 body."
"Were you ever a normal girl?"
"When I was an itty-bitty Baptist my daddy took me to a revival85 meeting and I made a decision for what's-his-name. That's about as normal a thing as I ever did."
"Were you saved?"
"I was drowned."
"You mean the well-known immersion86 ritual." "Immersion's a nice word," she said. "They grabbed me by the neck and threw me in. But that's not when I made the decision. I was real young when I made the decision." "How old were you when you got immersed?" "I was five or six," she said. "They stood me up alongside the galvanized tank under the choir loft. My piano teacher had painted the River Jordan and a biblical-looking sky on a giant piece of canvas that was set on a makeshift frame behind the galvanized tank. Right nice. Real pretty sight. Then they picked me up by the neck and dunked me. When they got me on my feet again I noticed my dress had floated up around my neck, more or less exposing my entire maidenish87 bratty88 six-year-old body to every Southern Baptist thrill-seeker in the vicinity. That moment marked the true beginning of my womanhood."
"Those were the true, real and honest days." "On Saturday night all the boys used to go up on the railroad bridge and pee down on the passing trains."
"Listen to Fenig," I said. "He's devised a new pattern." "What's he doing up there?" she said. "It doesn't even sound like pacing. It sounds like he's running around in little circles. I don't think I like having him up there. A man who spends his evenings running in little circles. But I'll tell you what I really don't like. I don't like not liking89 him. I never used to be this way. I used to have shadings. Now I'm all one thing."
Opel had spent a year at Missouri State Women's College in Delaware, Texas. This fact was all I knew about that year. She'd led a scattered90 life and saw no reason to elaborate on content. It was enough in her view to present titles, headings and selected prefaces. Her past was such that these did the necessary work. When I met her, in Mexico, she'd just completed two years in New York. All I ever learned about those years was what happened on the very first day. This was a selected preface. The very first day in New York she walked through Bryant Park to get to her hotel. It was December and a man dressed as Santa Claus sat on a bench eating a sandwich. A derelict walked across the park singing, in full voice, "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen." He seemed headed right for the Santa Claus. The Santa Claus watched him for a moment, then got up and began to run away, biting at his sandwich as he fled. Once across Forty-second Street he looked back to see how much distance he'd put between himself and the derelict. Then he ran through traffic on Sixth Avenue and disappeared. Opel gave the derelict a dime91 and he obligingly exposed himself.
1 bruised | |
[医]青肿的,瘀紫的 | |
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2 imperialistic | |
帝国主义的,帝制的 | |
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3 foam | |
v./n.泡沫,起泡沫 | |
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4 ozone | |
n.臭氧,新鲜空气 | |
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5 noxious | |
adj.有害的,有毒的;使道德败坏的,讨厌的 | |
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6 amenities | |
n.令人愉快的事物;礼仪;礼节;便利设施;礼仪( amenity的名词复数 );便利设施;(环境等的)舒适;(性情等的)愉快 | |
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7 isolate | |
vt.使孤立,隔离 | |
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8 isolates | |
v.使隔离( isolate的第三人称单数 );将…剔出(以便看清和单独处理);使(某物质、细胞等)分离;使离析 | |
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9 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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10 compliance | |
n.顺从;服从;附和;屈从 | |
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11 evade | |
vt.逃避,回避;避开,躲避 | |
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12 chaos | |
n.混乱,无秩序 | |
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13 systematic | |
adj.有系统的,有计划的,有方法的 | |
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14 quiescence | |
n.静止 | |
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15 benevolent | |
adj.仁慈的,乐善好施的 | |
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16 insistently | |
ad.坚持地 | |
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17 conceits | |
高傲( conceit的名词复数 ); 自以为; 巧妙的词语; 别出心裁的比喻 | |
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18 verities | |
n.真实( verity的名词复数 );事实;真理;真实的陈述 | |
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19 monologues | |
n.(戏剧)长篇独白( monologue的名词复数 );滔滔不绝的讲话;独角戏 | |
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20 nexus | |
n.联系;关系 | |
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21 consolidation | |
n.合并,巩固 | |
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22 huddled | |
挤在一起(huddle的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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23 babbling | |
n.胡说,婴儿发出的咿哑声adj.胡说的v.喋喋不休( babble的现在分词 );作潺潺声(如流水);含糊不清地说话;泄漏秘密 | |
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24 swilling | |
v.冲洗( swill的现在分词 );猛喝;大口喝;(使)液体流动 | |
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25 splendor | |
n.光彩;壮丽,华丽;显赫,辉煌 | |
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26 imperative | |
n.命令,需要;规则;祈使语气;adj.强制的;紧急的 | |
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27 nausea | |
n.作呕,恶心;极端的憎恶(或厌恶) | |
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28 vomiting | |
吐 | |
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29 cramps | |
n. 抽筋, 腹部绞痛, 铁箍 adj. 狭窄的, 难解的 v. 使...抽筋, 以铁箍扣紧, 束缚 | |
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30 tremors | |
震颤( tremor的名词复数 ); 战栗; 震颤声; 大地的轻微震动 | |
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31 spasms | |
n.痉挛( spasm的名词复数 );抽搐;(能量、行为等的)突发;发作 | |
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32 verge | |
n.边,边缘;v.接近,濒临 | |
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33 brink | |
n.(悬崖、河流等的)边缘,边沿 | |
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34 leftover | |
n.剩货,残留物,剩饭;adj.残余的 | |
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35 ambiguity | |
n.模棱两可;意义不明确 | |
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36 reptile | |
n.爬行动物;两栖动物 | |
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37 peeked | |
v.很快地看( peek的过去式和过去分词 );偷看;窥视;微露出 | |
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38 colossal | |
adj.异常的,庞大的 | |
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39 columnist | |
n.专栏作家 | |
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40 radicals | |
n.激进分子( radical的名词复数 );根基;基本原理;[数学]根数 | |
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41 agog | |
adj.兴奋的,有强烈兴趣的; adv.渴望地 | |
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42 convening | |
召开( convene的现在分词 ); 召集; (为正式会议而)聚集; 集合 | |
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43 consensus | |
n.(意见等的)一致,一致同意,共识 | |
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44 haggle | |
vi.讨价还价,争论不休 | |
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45 retailers | |
零售商,零售店( retailer的名词复数 ) | |
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46 consultant | |
n.顾问;会诊医师,专科医生 | |
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47 rumor | |
n.谣言,谣传,传说 | |
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48 elusive | |
adj.难以表达(捉摸)的;令人困惑的;逃避的 | |
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49 voucher | |
n.收据;传票;凭单,凭证 | |
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50 finalizing | |
vt.完成(finalize的现在分词形式) | |
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51 factions | |
组织中的小派别,派系( faction的名词复数 ) | |
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52 infringement | |
n.违反;侵权 | |
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53 homage | |
n.尊敬,敬意,崇敬 | |
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54 quaint | |
adj.古雅的,离奇有趣的,奇怪的 | |
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55 barbarians | |
n.野蛮人( barbarian的名词复数 );外国人;粗野的人;无教养的人 | |
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56 sprawl | |
vi.躺卧,扩张,蔓延;vt.使蔓延;n.躺卧,蔓延 | |
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57 initiate | |
vt.开始,创始,发动;启蒙,使入门;引入 | |
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58 initiates | |
v.开始( initiate的第三人称单数 );传授;发起;接纳新成员 | |
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59 laconic | |
adj.简洁的;精练的 | |
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60 hip | |
n.臀部,髋;屋脊 | |
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61 limousine | |
n.豪华轿车 | |
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62 sprinter | |
n.短跑运动员,短距离全速奔跑者 | |
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63 neatly | |
adv.整洁地,干净地,灵巧地,熟练地 | |
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64 briefcase | |
n.手提箱,公事皮包 | |
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65 motive | |
n.动机,目的;adv.发动的,运动的 | |
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66 prospect | |
n.前景,前途;景色,视野 | |
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67 interpretation | |
n.解释,说明,描述;艺术处理 | |
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68 solitude | |
n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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69 physically | |
adj.物质上,体格上,身体上,按自然规律 | |
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70 killer | |
n.杀人者,杀人犯,杀手,屠杀者 | |
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71 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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72 touching | |
adj.动人的,使人感伤的 | |
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73 dome | |
n.圆屋顶,拱顶 | |
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74 choir | |
n.唱诗班,唱诗班的席位,合唱团,舞蹈团;v.合唱 | |
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75 loft | |
n.阁楼,顶楼 | |
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76 dodge | |
v.闪开,躲开,避开;n.妙计,诡计 | |
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77 psychic | |
n.对超自然力敏感的人;adj.有超自然力的 | |
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78 bastard | |
n.坏蛋,混蛋;私生子 | |
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79 sputter | |
n.喷溅声;v.喷溅 | |
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80 followers | |
追随者( follower的名词复数 ); 用户; 契据的附面; 从动件 | |
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81 prefix | |
n.前缀;vt.加…作为前缀;置于前面 | |
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82 decompose | |
vi.分解;vt.(使)腐败,(使)腐烂 | |
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83 mound | |
n.土墩,堤,小山;v.筑堤,用土堆防卫 | |
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84 celebrated | |
adj.有名的,声誉卓著的 | |
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85 revival | |
n.复兴,复苏,(精力、活力等的)重振 | |
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86 immersion | |
n.沉浸;专心 | |
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87 maidenish | |
处女的,似处女的 | |
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88 bratty | |
adj.讨厌的,不服从的 | |
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89 liking | |
n.爱好;嗜好;喜欢 | |
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90 scattered | |
adj.分散的,稀疏的;散步的;疏疏落落的 | |
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91 dime | |
n.(指美国、加拿大的钱币)一角 | |
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