police dogs roamed the U-Haul trailer lots. In dock areas I found the packing houses, seeking to investigate perspectives pure as theorems, the self-mastery of these concrete structures, invulnerable to melancholy1. The weather turned again, spring backing off for glassy distances of sleet2, a cancellation3 of the body's feast of seasons, hard to wake to darkness. I dressed in old sweaters, three or four, each sufficiently4 torn to offer views of the one beneath but not so torn that all were visible in one wearing. I took great care to vary the layers day to day. One sweater was Opel's, a ski extravaganza, desperately5 out of place among the rock 'n' roll caftans at the back of the closet. I never ventured north of Cooper Square. Two deaf men had an argument near a construction shack6, using their hands to curse each other, finally picking up boards and taking turns attacking. Never ventured north of Cooper Square but stood above the rivers east and west, wod-or, this double sound all I could fashion from the sight of sluggish7 currents in transit8 to the sea.
This one day of late rain I saw a toothless man circle a cart banked with glowing produce. He bellowed9 into the wind, one of nature's raw warriors10, flapping around in unbuckled galoshes. A few people huddled11 nearby. One would now and then extend a hand toward the cart, finger-pricing, as the man wailed12 to the blank windows above him. It was a religious cry he produced, evocative of mosques13 and quaking sunsets.
RED YAPPLES GREEN YAPPLES GOLDEN YAP-PLES MAKE A YAPPLE PIE MAKE ALSO A YAPPLE STRUDEL YAPPLES YAPPLES YAPPLES BIG JUICY YAPPLES FROM THE HEART OF THE YAPPLE COUNTRY
I turned a corner and someone came out of an old hotel and ran in sputtering14 little steps to my side. It was the girl Skippy, Happy Valley's emissary, original bearer of the plain brown package. I kept walking and she remained alongside. We headed south and east into narrower streets, the city's older precincts, less here of surfaces, of broad lines, the women pinned in little windows, forty years flowing through an isolated15 second, their true lives taking place in a European pastureland. A neon digit16, sizzling a bit, hung lopsided from the front of a luncheonette. It grew colder as the wind gripped in and the island tapered17 toward the bay. Secure I felt beneath my sweaters. Skippy coughing.
The oldest immigrants lived in tower blocks, a long way from fertile pavement, these streets now ruled by darker races of the plains. It was early afternoon and soon to rain, nondeliverance in the air, a chemical smell from the river. The bridges were cruelly beautiful in this weather, gray ladies nearly dead to all the poetry written in their names. Tall black kids in sneakers charged up out of the subway, cutting left and right across a street, fast-breaking, three on two, one of them turning now in the air, ancient stick-fingers tapping a parking sign. A man demanded money, sitting on the arm of an abandoned chair, its springs exposed. I kept forgetting Skippy was with me, then would turn to see her, body bent18 forward in a coughing spasm19, head pointed20, moving like a dog in water. We walked behind two resplendent little women wearing plastic liners over their hats, coats and shoes, one of them loudly cataloguing various items along the sidewalk.
NEWSPAPER VOMIT21 SHIT GLASS CARDBOARD BOTTLE SHIT SPIT NEWSPAPER GLASS SHIT GARBAGE BOTTLE CARTON BOTTLE PAPER STOCKING SHIT GARBAGE SHIT GARBAGE GARBAGE SHIT
In barbershops Latin men stood talking in button-down shirts with collars open and sleeves folded two cuff-lengths to the lower forearm, apparel of an earlier Madison Avenue, that somber22 street now freshly regimented, paunchy and gay in Kool-Aid fiesta colors and Spanish sideburns. We headed west from the bridge districts and reached Chinatown, where Skippy seemed confused, apparently23 thinking this was San Francisco, and had to calm herself by standing24 for a while before the window of a fish market, watching a man guide a jagged blade up the belly25 of a trout26 as bits of fishy27 insides dripped onto the flaked28 ice. We hurried into the Criminal Court Building for warmth and sweets. The lobby was crowded and noisy, a chorus of the accused, the counter-accused, the victimized, and the lawyers, families and friends of all of these. With it all, more irate29 than the rest, came that special whine30 of minor31 violators. Everybody was smoking, shouting, biting down on stony32 Chiclets, sucking cough drops, everybody but the pimps, regal and absolute, who merely scanned the landscape, property-hunting. Behind his counter the blind newsdealer loomed33 as justice does, something of a self-parody, appearing to sense every nuance34 in the hall. He lived through his fingers, working their heat into every coin, tapping out change for the doomed35 and for the brothers-in-law of the doomed. We bought some candy and stood in a corner. Short purposeful men crossed the lobby on their way to and from duty, each slightly overweight and carrying the Daily News folded under one arm, civil servants, custodians36 of some kind, herders of jury members from room to room. I licked chocolate from the heel of my hand. A family of blacks surrounded a pustular lawyer, crowding his panicked grin. Outside we saw a man with hands to eyes in the shape of binoculars37 and he was slowly turning on a street corner, clouds, taxis, birds, detectives, all nautically38 viewed by this revolving39 man, once drunk perhaps but well beyond that now, persevering40, in full command, sensing he had found a way of dealing41 with the world. We walked down to the Battery, past all the forty-story objects. Wind seemed to drop directly down the flanks of buildings before ripping along the narrow streets and we passed men clutching their black hats and moving shoulder first in quick bursts of locomotion42 and sometimes even backward, ten or twelve men at a time, their briefcases43 filled with mergers44, all walking backward into the wind. A rag man at the edge of the park retched into his scarf, working himself up to a moment of vast rhetoric45. His seemed the type of accusation46 aimed at those too constricted47 in spirit to see the earth as a place for gods to grow, a theater of furious encounters between prophets of calamity48 and simple pedestrians49 trying to make the light.
HAND FOOT ARM GOD NOSE TOE FACE GOD LEG ARM LEG GOD SEE IT SEE IT RAIN TWAIN CAIN PAIN BRAIN SLAIN50 STAIN GAIN VAIN SEE IT SEE IT MOUTH EYE TEETH GOD NECK CHEST GOD SEE IT IN THE DARKNESS AND THE LIGHT
Harbors reveal a city's power, its lust51 for money and filth52, but strangely through the haze53 what I distinguished54 first was the lone55 mellow56 promise of an island, tender retreat from straight lines, an answering sea-mound. This was the mist's illusion and the harbor's pound of flesh. Skippy tugged57 at licorice with her teeth, the black strands58 expanding between hand and jaw59. She had a shaded face and she was ageless, a wanderer in cities, one of those children found after every war, picking in the rubble60 for scraps61 of food the gaunt dogs have missed. Such minds are unreclaimable but at the same time hardly dangerous and governments acknowledge this fact by providing millions of acres of postwar rubble. On our way to find a bus stop we saw the subway crowds drop into openings in the earth, on their way up the length of Manhattan or under rivers to the bourns and orchards62, there to be educated in false innocence63, in the rites64 of isolation65. Perhaps the only ore of truth their lives possessed66 was buried in this central rock. Beyond its limits was their one escape, a dreamless sleep, no need to fear the dare to be exceptional. Dozens of pigeons swarmed67 around a woman tossing bread crumbs68. She was in a wheelchair held at rest by a young boy, both on fire with birds, the pigeons skidding69 on the air, tracing the upward curve of the old woman's arm. I watched her eyes climb with the birds, all her losses made a blessing70 in a hand's worth of bread.
Pigeons and meningitis. Chocolate and mouse droppings. Licorice and roach hairs. Vermin on the bus we took uptown. I wondered how long I'd choose to dwell in these middle ages of plague and usury71, living among traceless men and women, those whose only peace was in shouting ever more loudly. Nothing tempted72 them more than voicelessness. But they shouted. Transient population of thunderers and hags. They dragged through wet streets speaking in languages older than the stones of cities buried in sand. Beds and bedbugs. Men and lice. Gono-coccus curling in the lap of love.
We rode past an urban redevelopment project. Machine-tooth shovels73 clawed past half-finished buildings stuck in mud, tiny balconies stapled74 on. All spawned75 by realtor-kings who live in the sewers76. Skippy coughed blood onto the back of her hand. The bus panted over cobblestones and I studied words drawn77 in fading paint on the sides of buildings. Brake and front end service. Wheel alignment78. Chain and belt. Pulleys, motors, gears. Sheet-metal machinery79. Leather remnants. Die cutting and precision measuring. Cuttings and job lots. Business machines. Threads, woolens80, laces. Libros en espa?ol. We left by the back door and Skippy went back to whatever she was doing (or dealing) in that hotel. Rain blew across the old streets. The toothless man was still at his cart, a visitation from sunken regions, not caring who listened or passed, his cries no less cadenced81 than the natural rain.
YOU'RE BUYING I'M SELLING YAFFLES YAFFLES YAFFLES
The bed remains82 at the center of the room. Visitors are rare now and I begin to feel I'm sinking into history. After Essex Street I spent weeks of deep peace. I lived in true eunuchry, bed-watching, forced to respond to nothing. Having no words for the things around me affected83 even my movements across the1 room. I walked more slowly, as though in fear of objects, all things with names unknown to me. Some of the careless passion people feel for unteachable children began to communicate itself from one part of my mind to another. I was unreasonably84 happy, subsisting85 in blessed circumstance, thinking of myself as a kind of living chant. I made interesting and original sounds. I looked out the window and moaned (quietly) at the lumbering86 trucks below and at the painters and sculptors87 now occupying windows across the way, placid88 faces suspended over Great Jones Street. But whatever else it was, the drug was less than lasting89 in its effect. Mouth was the first word to reach me, dropping from one speech mechanism90 to the other. It happened while I was looking at my face in the mirror, examining its strange parts, hanu, ous, leb, oog, nakka, and when I opened my mouth out came the word for that part, word instead of sound, mouth, startling me. More words followed and when I spoke91 them aloud the sound waves reached my brain in proper coded notes and I was able to comprehend what had passed between my tongue and inner ear. Soon all was normal, a return to prior modes. This was my double defeat, first a chance not taken to reappear in the midst of people and forces made to my design and then a second enterprise denied, alternate to
the first, permanent withdrawal92 to that unimprinted level where all sound is silken and nothing erodes93 in the mad weather of language. Several weeks of immense serenity94. Then ended. But I see no reason to announce the news. Let viscid history suck me down a bit. When the season is right I'll return to whatever is out there. It's just a question of what sound to make or fake. Meanwhile the rumors95 accumulate. Kidnap, exile, torture, self-mutilation and death. The most beguiling96 of the rumors has me living among beggars and syphilitics, performing good works, patron saint of all those men who hear the river-whistles sing the mysteries and who return to sleep in wine by the south wheel of the city.
1 melancholy | |
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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2 sleet | |
n.雨雪;v.下雨雪,下冰雹 | |
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3 cancellation | |
n.删除,取消 | |
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4 sufficiently | |
adv.足够地,充分地 | |
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5 desperately | |
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地 | |
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6 shack | |
adj.简陋的小屋,窝棚 | |
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7 sluggish | |
adj.懒惰的,迟钝的,无精打采的 | |
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8 transit | |
n.经过,运输;vt.穿越,旋转;vi.越过 | |
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9 bellowed | |
v.发出吼叫声,咆哮(尤指因痛苦)( bellow的过去式和过去分词 );(愤怒地)说出(某事),大叫 | |
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10 warriors | |
武士,勇士,战士( warrior的名词复数 ) | |
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11 huddled | |
挤在一起(huddle的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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12 wailed | |
v.哭叫,哀号( wail的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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13 mosques | |
清真寺; 伊斯兰教寺院,清真寺; 清真寺,伊斯兰教寺院( mosque的名词复数 ) | |
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14 sputtering | |
n.反应溅射法;飞溅;阴极真空喷镀;喷射v.唾沫飞溅( sputter的现在分词 );发劈啪声;喷出;飞溅出 | |
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15 isolated | |
adj.与世隔绝的 | |
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16 digit | |
n.零到九的阿拉伯数字,手指,脚趾 | |
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17 tapered | |
adj. 锥形的,尖削的,楔形的,渐缩的,斜的 动词taper的过去式和过去分词 | |
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18 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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19 spasm | |
n.痉挛,抽搐;一阵发作 | |
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20 pointed | |
adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
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21 vomit | |
v.呕吐,作呕;n.呕吐物,吐出物 | |
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22 somber | |
adj.昏暗的,阴天的,阴森的,忧郁的 | |
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23 apparently | |
adv.显然地;表面上,似乎 | |
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24 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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25 belly | |
n.肚子,腹部;(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分,膛 | |
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26 trout | |
n.鳟鱼;鲑鱼(属) | |
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27 fishy | |
adj. 值得怀疑的 | |
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28 flaked | |
精疲力竭的,失去知觉的,睡去的 | |
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29 irate | |
adj.发怒的,生气 | |
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30 whine | |
v.哀号,号哭;n.哀鸣 | |
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31 minor | |
adj.较小(少)的,较次要的;n.辅修学科;vi.辅修 | |
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32 stony | |
adj.石头的,多石头的,冷酷的,无情的 | |
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33 loomed | |
v.隐约出现,阴森地逼近( loom的过去式和过去分词 );隐约出现,阴森地逼近 | |
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34 nuance | |
n.(意义、意见、颜色)细微差别 | |
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35 doomed | |
命定的 | |
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36 custodians | |
n.看守人,保管人( custodian的名词复数 ) | |
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37 binoculars | |
n.双筒望远镜 | |
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38 nautically | |
在航海方面 | |
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39 revolving | |
adj.旋转的,轮转式的;循环的v.(使)旋转( revolve的现在分词 );细想 | |
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40 persevering | |
a.坚忍不拔的 | |
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41 dealing | |
n.经商方法,待人态度 | |
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42 locomotion | |
n.运动,移动 | |
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43 briefcases | |
n.公文[事]包( briefcase的名词复数 ) | |
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44 mergers | |
n.(两个公司的)合并( merger的名词复数 ) | |
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45 rhetoric | |
n.修辞学,浮夸之言语 | |
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46 accusation | |
n.控告,指责,谴责 | |
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47 constricted | |
adj.抑制的,约束的 | |
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48 calamity | |
n.灾害,祸患,不幸事件 | |
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49 pedestrians | |
n.步行者( pedestrian的名词复数 ) | |
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50 slain | |
杀死,宰杀,杀戮( slay的过去分词 ); (slay的过去分词) | |
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51 lust | |
n.性(淫)欲;渴(欲)望;vi.对…有强烈的欲望 | |
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52 filth | |
n.肮脏,污物,污秽;淫猥 | |
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53 haze | |
n.霾,烟雾;懵懂,迷糊;vi.(over)变模糊 | |
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54 distinguished | |
adj.卓越的,杰出的,著名的 | |
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55 lone | |
adj.孤寂的,单独的;唯一的 | |
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56 mellow | |
adj.柔和的;熟透的;v.变柔和;(使)成熟 | |
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57 tugged | |
v.用力拉,使劲拉,猛扯( tug的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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58 strands | |
n.(线、绳、金属线、毛发等的)股( strand的名词复数 );缕;海洋、湖或河的)岸;(观点、计划、故事等的)部份v.使滞留,使搁浅( strand的第三人称单数 ) | |
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59 jaw | |
n.颚,颌,说教,流言蜚语;v.喋喋不休,教训 | |
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60 rubble | |
n.(一堆)碎石,瓦砾 | |
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61 scraps | |
油渣 | |
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62 orchards | |
(通常指围起来的)果园( orchard的名词复数 ) | |
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63 innocence | |
n.无罪;天真;无害 | |
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64 rites | |
仪式,典礼( rite的名词复数 ) | |
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65 isolation | |
n.隔离,孤立,分解,分离 | |
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66 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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67 swarmed | |
密集( swarm的过去式和过去分词 ); 云集; 成群地移动; 蜜蜂或其他飞行昆虫成群地飞来飞去 | |
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68 crumbs | |
int. (表示惊讶)哎呀 n. 碎屑 名词crumb的复数形式 | |
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69 skidding | |
n.曳出,集材v.(通常指车辆) 侧滑( skid的现在分词 );打滑;滑行;(住在)贫民区 | |
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70 blessing | |
n.祈神赐福;祷告;祝福,祝愿 | |
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71 usury | |
n.高利贷 | |
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72 tempted | |
v.怂恿(某人)干不正当的事;冒…的险(tempt的过去分词) | |
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73 shovels | |
n.铲子( shovel的名词复数 );锹;推土机、挖土机等的)铲;铲形部份v.铲子( shovel的第三人称单数 );锹;推土机、挖土机等的)铲;铲形部份 | |
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74 stapled | |
v.用钉书钉钉住( staple的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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75 spawned | |
(鱼、蛙等)大量产(卵)( spawn的过去式和过去分词 ); 大量生产 | |
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76 sewers | |
n.阴沟,污水管,下水道( sewer的名词复数 ) | |
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77 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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78 alignment | |
n.队列;结盟,联合 | |
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79 machinery | |
n.(总称)机械,机器;机构 | |
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80 woolens | |
毛织品,毛料织物; 毛织品,羊毛织物,毛料衣服( woolen的名词复数 ) | |
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81 cadenced | |
adj.音调整齐的,有节奏的 | |
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82 remains | |
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
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83 affected | |
adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
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84 unreasonably | |
adv. 不合理地 | |
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85 subsisting | |
v.(靠很少的钱或食物)维持生活,生存下去( subsist的现在分词 ) | |
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86 lumbering | |
n.采伐林木 | |
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87 sculptors | |
雕刻家,雕塑家( sculptor的名词复数 ); [天]玉夫座 | |
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88 placid | |
adj.安静的,平和的 | |
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89 lasting | |
adj.永久的,永恒的;vbl.持续,维持 | |
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90 mechanism | |
n.机械装置;机构,结构 | |
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91 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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92 withdrawal | |
n.取回,提款;撤退,撤军;收回,撤销 | |
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93 erodes | |
侵蚀,腐蚀( erode的第三人称单数 ); 逐渐毁坏,削弱,损害 | |
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94 serenity | |
n.宁静,沉着,晴朗 | |
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95 rumors | |
n.传闻( rumor的名词复数 );[古]名誉;咕哝;[古]喧嚷v.传闻( rumor的第三人称单数 );[古]名誉;咕哝;[古]喧嚷 | |
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96 beguiling | |
adj.欺骗的,诱人的v.欺骗( beguile的现在分词 );使陶醉;使高兴;消磨(时间等) | |
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