INTRODUCTORY, CONCERNING THE PEDIGREE OF THE CHUZZLEWIT FAMILY
As no lady or gentleman, with any claims to polite breeding, can possibly sympathize with the Chuzzlewit Family without being first assured of the extreme antiquity1 of the race, it is a great satisfaction to know that it undoubtedly2 descended3 in a direct line from Adam and Eve; and was, in the very earliest times, closely connected with the agricultural interest. If it should ever be urged by grudging4 and malicious5 persons, that a Chuzzlewit, in any period of the family history, displayed an overweening amount of family pride, surely the weakness will be considered not only pardonable but laudable, when the immense superiority of the house to the rest of mankind, in respect of this its ancient origin, is taken into account.
It is remarkable6 that as there was, in the oldest family of which we have any record, a murderer and a vagabond, so we never fail to meet, in the records of all old families, with innumerable repetitions of the same phase of character. Indeed, it may be laid down as a general principle, that the more extended the ancestry7, the greater the amount of violence and vagabondism; for in ancient days those two amusements, combining a wholesome8 excitement with a promising9 means of repairing shattered fortunes, were at once the ennobling pursuit and the healthful recreation of the Quality of this land.
Consequently, it is a source of inexpressible comfort and happiness to find, that in various periods of our history, the Chuzzlewits were actively10 connected with divers11 slaughterous12 conspiracies13 and bloody14 frays15. It is further recorded of them, that being clad from head to heel in steel of proof, they did on many occasions lead their leather-jerkined soldiers to the death with invincible16 courage, and afterwards return home gracefully17 to their relations and friends.
There can be no doubt that at least one Chuzzlewit came over with William the Conqueror18. It does not appear that this illustrious ancestor ‘came over’ that monarch19, to employ the vulgar phrase, at any subsequent period; inasmuch as the Family do not seem to have been ever greatly distinguished20 by the possession of landed estate. And it is well known that for the bestowal21 of that kind of property upon his favourites, the liberality and gratitude22 of the Norman were as remarkable as those virtues23 are usually found to be in great men when they give away what belongs to other people.
Perhaps in this place the history may pause to congratulate itself upon the enormous amount of bravery, wisdom, eloquence25, virtue24, gentle birth, and true nobility, that appears to have come into England with the Norman Invasion: an amount which the genealogy26 of every ancient family lends its aid to swell27, and which would beyond all question have been found to be just as great, and to the full as prolific28 in giving birth to long lines of chivalrous29 descendants, boastful of their origin, even though William the Conqueror had been William the Conquered; a change of circumstances which, it is quite certain, would have made no manner of difference in this respect.
There was unquestionably a Chuzzlewit in the Gunpowder30 Plot, if indeed the arch-traitor, Fawkes himself, were not a scion31 of this remarkable stock; as he might easily have been, supposing another Chuzzlewit to have emigrated to Spain in the previous generation, and there intermarried with a Spanish lady, by whom he had issue, one olive-complexioned son. This probable conjecture32 is strengthened, if not absolutely confirmed, by a fact which cannot fail to be interesting to those who are curious in tracing the progress of hereditary33 tastes through the lives of their unconscious inheritors. It is a notable circumstance that in these later times, many Chuzzlewits, being unsuccessful in other pursuits, have, without the smallest rational hope of enriching themselves, or any conceivable reason, set up as coal-merchants; and have, month after month, continued gloomily to watch a small stock of coals, without in any one instance negotiating with a purchaser. The remarkable similarity between this course of proceeding34 and that adopted by their Great Ancestor beneath the vaults35 of the Parliament House at Westminster, is too obvious and too full of interest, to stand in need of comment.
It is also clearly proved by the oral traditions of the Family, that there existed, at some one period of its history which is not distinctly stated, a matron of such destructive principles, and so familiarized to the use and composition of inflammatory and combustible36 engines, that she was called ‘The Match Maker;’ by which nickname and byword she is recognized in the Family legends to this day. Surely there can be no reasonable doubt that this was the Spanish lady, the mother of Chuzzlewit Fawkes.
But there is one other piece of evidence, bearing immediate37 reference to their close connection with this memorable38 event in English History, which must carry conviction, even to a mind (if such a mind there be) remaining unconvinced by these presumptive proofs.
There was, within a few years, in the possession of a highly respectable and in every way credible39 and unimpeachable40 member of the Chuzzlewit Family (for his bitterest enemy never dared to hint at his being otherwise than a wealthy man), a dark lantern of undoubted antiquity; rendered still more interesting by being, in shape and pattern, extremely like such as are in use at the present day. Now this gentleman, since deceased, was at all times ready to make oath, and did again and again set forth41 upon his solemn asseveration, that he had frequently heard his grandmother say, when contemplating42 this venerable relic43, ‘Aye, aye! This was carried by my fourth son on the fifth of November, when he was a Guy Fawkes.’ These remarkable words wrought44 (as well they might) a strong impression on his mind, and he was in the habit of repeating them very often. The just interpretation45 which they bear, and the conclusion to which they lead, are triumphant46 and irresistible47. The old lady, naturally strong-minded, was nevertheless frail48 and fading; she was notoriously subject to that confusion of ideas, or, to say the least, of speech, to which age and garrulity49 are liable. The slight, the very slight, confusion apparent in these expressions is manifest, and is ludicrously easy of correction. ‘Aye, aye,’ quoth she, and it will be observed that no emendation whatever is necessary to be made in these two initiative remarks, ‘Aye, aye! This lantern was carried by my forefather’—not fourth son, which is preposterous—‘on the fifth of November. And he was Guy Fawkes.’ Here we have a remark at once consistent, clear, natural, and in strict accordance with the character of the speaker. Indeed the anecdote50 is so plainly susceptible51 of this meaning and no other, that it would be hardly worth recording52 in its original state, were it not a proof of what may be (and very often is) affected53 not only in historical prose but in imaginative poetry, by the exercise of a little ingenious labour on the part of a commentator54.
It has been said that there is no instance, in modern times, of a Chuzzlewit having been found on terms of intimacy55 with the Great. But here again the sneering56 detractors who weave such miserable57 figments from their malicious brains, are stricken dumb by evidence. For letters are yet in the possession of various branches of the family, from which it distinctly appears, being stated in so many words, that one Diggory Chuzzlewit was in the habit of perpetually dining with Duke Humphrey. So constantly was he a guest at that nobleman’s table, indeed; and so unceasingly were His Grace’s hospitality and companionship forced, as it were, upon him; that we find him uneasy, and full of constraint58 and reluctance59; writing his friends to the effect that if they fail to do so and so by bearer, he will have no choice but to dine again with Duke Humphrey; and expressing himself in a very marked and extraordinary manner as one surfeited60 of High Life and Gracious Company.
It has been rumoured62, and it is needless to say the rumour61 originated in the same base quarters, that a certain male Chuzzlewit, whose birth must be admitted to be involved in some obscurity, was of very mean and low descent. How stands the proof? When the son of that individual, to whom the secret of his father’s birth was supposed to have been communicated by his father in his lifetime, lay upon his deathbed, this question was put to him in a distinct, solemn, and formal way: ‘Toby Chuzzlewit, who was your grandfather?’ To which he, with his last breath, no less distinctly, solemnly, and formally replied: and his words were taken down at the time, and signed by six witnesses, each with his name and address in full: ‘The Lord No Zoo.’ It may be said—it has been said, for human wickedness has no limits—that there is no Lord of that name, and that among the titles which have become extinct, none at all resembling this, in sound even, is to be discovered. But what is the irresistible inference? Rejecting a theory broached63 by some well-meaning but mistaken persons, that this Mr Toby Chuzzlewit’s grandfather, to judge from his name, must surely have been a Mandarin64 (which is wholly insupportable, for there is no pretence65 of his grandmother ever having been out of this country, or of any Mandarin having been in it within some years of his father’s birth; except those in the tea-shops, which cannot for a moment be regarded as having any bearing on the question, one way or other), rejecting this hypothesis, is it not manifest that Mr Toby Chuzzlewit had either received the name imperfectly from his father, or that he had forgotten it, or that he had mispronounced it? and that even at the recent period in question, the Chuzzlewits were connected by a bend sinister66, or kind of heraldic over-the-left, with some unknown noble and illustrious House?
From documentary evidence, yet preserved in the family, the fact is clearly established that in the comparatively modern days of the Diggory Chuzzlewit before mentioned, one of its members had attained67 to very great wealth and influence. Throughout such fragments of his correspondence as have escaped the ravages68 of the moths69 (who, in right of their extensive absorption of the contents of deeds and papers, may be called the general registers of the Insect World), we find him making constant reference to an uncle, in respect of whom he would seem to have entertained great expectations, as he was in the habit of seeking to propitiate70 his favour by presents of plate, jewels, books, watches, and other valuable articles. Thus, he writes on one occasion to his brother in reference to a gravy-spoon, the brother’s property, which he (Diggory) would appear to have borrowed or otherwise possessed71 himself of: ‘Do not be angry, I have parted with it—to my uncle.’ On another occasion he expresses himself in a similar manner with regard to a child’s mug which had been entrusted72 to him to get repaired. On another occasion he says, ‘I have bestowed73 upon that irresistible uncle of mine everything I ever possessed.’ And that he was in the habit of paying long and constant visits to this gentleman at his mansion74, if, indeed, he did not wholly reside there, is manifest from the following sentence: ‘With the exception of the suit of clothes I carry about with me, the whole of my wearing apparel is at present at my uncle’s.’ This gentleman’s patronage75 and influence must have been very extensive, for his nephew writes, ‘His interest is too high’—‘It is too much’—‘It is tremendous’—and the like. Still it does not appear (which is strange) to have procured76 for him any lucrative77 post at court or elsewhere, or to have conferred upon him any other distinction than that which was necessarily included in the countenance78 of so great a man, and the being invited by him to certain entertainment’s, so splendid and costly79 in their nature, that he calls them ‘Golden Balls.’
It is needless to multiply instances of the high and lofty station, and the vast importance of the Chuzzlewits, at different periods. If it came within the scope of reasonable probability that further proofs were required, they might be heaped upon each other until they formed an Alps of testimony80, beneath which the boldest scepticism should be crushed and beaten flat. As a goodly tumulus is already collected, and decently battened up above the Family grave, the present chapter is content to leave it as it is: merely adding, by way of a final spadeful, that many Chuzzlewits, both male and female, are proved to demonstration81, on the faith of letters written by their own mothers, to have had chiselled82 noses, undeniable chins, forms that might have served the sculptor83 for a model, exquisitely-turned limbs and polished foreheads of so transparent84 a texture85 that the blue veins86 might be seen branching off in various directions, like so many roads on an ethereal map. This fact in itself, though it had been a solitary87 one, would have utterly88 settled and clenched89 the business in hand; for it is well known, on the authority of all the books which treat of such matters, that every one of these phenomena90, but especially that of the chiselling91, are invariably peculiar92 to, and only make themselves apparent in, persons of the very best condition.
This history having, to its own perfect satisfaction, (and, consequently, to the full contentment of all its readers,) proved the Chuzzlewits to have had an origin, and to have been at one time or other of an importance which cannot fail to render them highly improving and acceptable acquaintance to all right-minded individuals, may now proceed in earnest with its task. And having shown that they must have had, by reason of their ancient birth, a pretty large share in the foundation and increase of the human family, it will one day become its province to submit, that such of its members as shall be introduced in these pages, have still many counterparts and prototypes in the Great World about us. At present it contents itself with remarking, in a general way, on this head: Firstly, that it may be safely asserted, and yet without implying any direct participation93 in the Manboddo doctrine94 touching95 the probability of the human race having once been monkeys, that men do play very strange and extraordinary tricks. Secondly96, and yet without trenching on the Blumenbach theory as to the descendants of Adam having a vast number of qualities which belong more particularly to swine than to any other class of animals in the creation, that some men certainly are remarkable for taking uncommon97 good care of themselves.
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1
antiquity
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| n.古老；高龄；古物，古迹 | |
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undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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grudging
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| adj.勉强的，吝啬的 | |
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malicious
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| adj.有恶意的，心怀恶意的 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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ancestry
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| n.祖先，家世 | |
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wholesome
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| adj.适合；卫生的；有益健康的；显示身心健康的 | |
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promising
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| adj.有希望的，有前途的 | |
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actively
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| adv.积极地，勤奋地 | |
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divers
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| adj.不同的；种种的 | |
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slaughterous
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| adj.好杀戮的 | |
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conspiracies
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| n.阴谋，密谋( conspiracy的名词复数 ) | |
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bloody
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| adj.非常的的；流血的；残忍的；adv.很；vt.血染 | |
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frays
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| n.（使布、绳等）磨损，磨破( fray的名词复数 )v.（使布、绳等）磨损，磨破( fray的第三人称单数 ) | |
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invincible
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| adj.不可征服的，难以制服的 | |
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gracefully
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| ad.大大方方地；优美地 | |
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conqueror
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| n.征服者，胜利者 | |
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monarch
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| n.帝王，君主，最高统治者 | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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bestowal
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| 赠与，给与； 贮存 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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genealogy
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| n.家系，宗谱 | |
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swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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prolific
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| adj.丰富的，大量的；多产的，富有创造力的 | |
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chivalrous
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| adj.武士精神的；对女人彬彬有礼的 | |
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gunpowder
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| n.火药 | |
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scion
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| n.嫩芽，子孙 | |
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conjecture
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| n./v.推测，猜测 | |
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hereditary
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| adj.遗传的，遗传性的，可继承的，世袭的 | |
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proceeding
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| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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vaults
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| n.拱顶( vault的名词复数 )；地下室；撑物跳高；墓穴 | |
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combustible
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| a. 易燃的,可燃的; n. 易燃物,可燃物 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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memorable
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| adj.值得回忆的，难忘的，特别的，显著的 | |
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credible
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| adj.可信任的，可靠的 | |
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unimpeachable
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| adj.无可指责的；adv.无可怀疑地 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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contemplating
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| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
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relic
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| n.神圣的遗物，遗迹，纪念物 | |
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wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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interpretation
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| n.解释，说明，描述；艺术处理 | |
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triumphant
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| adj.胜利的，成功的；狂欢的，喜悦的 | |
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irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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frail
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| adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的 | |
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garrulity
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| n.饶舌，多嘴 | |
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anecdote
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| n.轶事，趣闻，短故事 | |
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susceptible
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| adj.过敏的，敏感的；易动感情的，易受感动的 | |
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recording
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| n.录音，记录 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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commentator
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| n.注释者，解说者；实况广播评论员 | |
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intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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sneering
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| 嘲笑的，轻蔑的 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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constraint
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| n.(on)约束，限制；限制(或约束)性的事物 | |
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reluctance
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| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
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surfeited
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| v.吃得过多( surfeit的过去式和过去分词 )；由于过量而厌腻 | |
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rumour
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| n.谣言，谣传，传闻 | |
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rumoured
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| adj.谣传的；传说的；风 | |
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broached
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| v.谈起( broach的过去式和过去分词 )；打开并开始用；用凿子扩大（或修光）；（在桶上）钻孔取液体 | |
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Mandarin
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| n.中国官话，国语，满清官吏；adj.华丽辞藻的 | |
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pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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sinister
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| adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的 | |
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attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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ravages
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| 劫掠后的残迹，破坏的结果，毁坏后的残迹 | |
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moths
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| n.蛾( moth的名词复数 ) | |
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propitiate
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| v.慰解，劝解 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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entrusted
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| v.委托，托付( entrust的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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mansion
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| n.大厦，大楼；宅第 | |
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patronage
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| n.赞助，支援，援助；光顾，捧场 | |
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procured
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| v.（努力）取得， （设法）获得( procure的过去式和过去分词 )；拉皮条 | |
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lucrative
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| adj.赚钱的，可获利的 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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costly
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| adj.昂贵的，价值高的，豪华的 | |
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testimony
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| n.证词；见证，证明 | |
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81
demonstration
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| n.表明，示范，论证，示威 | |
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82
chiselled
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| adj.凿过的，凿光的； （文章等）精心雕琢的v.凿，雕，镌( chisel的过去式 ) | |
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83
sculptor
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| n.雕刻家，雕刻家 | |
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84
transparent
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| adj.明显的，无疑的；透明的 | |
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85
texture
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| n.(织物)质地；(材料)构造；结构；肌理 | |
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86
veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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87
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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89
clenched
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| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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phenomena
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| n.现象 | |
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91
chiselling
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| n.錾v.凿，雕，镌( chisel的现在分词 ) | |
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92
peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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participation
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| n.参与，参加，分享 | |
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94
doctrine
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| n.教义；主义；学说 | |
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95
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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96
secondly
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| adv.第二，其次 | |
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uncommon
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| adj.罕见的，非凡的，不平常的 | |
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