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CHAPTER XIX. DISAPPOINTMENT.
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 “You are not hurt, I hope,” exclaimed both cousins, hastening to Clementina’s assistance, and raising her; for, in her ball-dress, she was more helpless than ever.
“She is hurt, I fear,” cried Ernest, as he saw red drops trickling1 from her brow, and falling on her lace dress. “Oh, Charles, do call Mrs. Clayton directly.”
The lady’s maid was instantly summoned, and the hurts of the trembling, sobbing2, almost hysterical3 Clementina examined. She had received rather a deep cut on the forehead, and a little contusion under the eye. There was nothing to alarm, but much to disfigure. Charles proposed sending at once for the doctor, but this the young lady would not hear of: she had some vague, terrible idea, of wounds being sewn up, and much preferred the mild surgery of Mrs. Clayton.
In the midst of the confusion occasioned by the accident, two lamps were seen to stop before the door, and the thundering double rap which succeeded announced the return of Mrs. Hope.
[190]
The servant who came to say that his mistress was waiting, laid at the same time a box on the table: it contained the much-wished-for pearls.
“I had better go down and tell what has happened,” said Charles, quitting the drawing-room. In two or three minutes he returned with Mrs. Hope.
“My darling child! my sweet Clemmy! what a sad business this is! How could it have happened? Why, you look as though you had been to the wars! you will never be able to go to the ball.”
Clementina leaned her head on the sofa, and sobbed4 piteously.
“Dear me! I hope, Clayton, that you have put on the plaster carefully. I only dread5 her being marked for life,” said the mother.
The poor girl’s grief became more violent.
“You must compose yourself, my dear; you will make yourself ill. A fall is a great shock to the nerves.”
Ernest had left the room as the lady entered, and now silently offered to his cousin’s trembling hand a glass of sal volatile7 and water.
“You had better go to bed at once,” said Mrs. Hope. “’Tis such a pity; all ready dressed for the ball! I must go, for I could not disappoint Lady Fitzwigram, and I believe that the Duchess is to be there. Clayton will take excellent care of you, I am sure. Come, Ernest and Charles, I see that you are ready.”
[191]
“And I am to be left all alone, and on this night, just when I expected to be so happy!” sobbed Clementina.
“I should like to stay with her, I should indeed,” said Ernest to his aunt; “I hope that you will not object to my doing so.”
“Why, what will Lady Fitzwigram say?”
“She will not care; she has never seen me but once. You will be so kind as to make my excuses.”
“Well, it is very considerate of you, certainly. I don’t know what to say,” replied Mrs. Hope, very well pleased to be able to tell a fashionable circle that Lord Fontonore had stayed behind because her daughter could not come. So the matter was soon decided8; the carriage moved off slowly with Mrs. Hope and Charles, and Ernest and his weeping cousin were left behind, to spend the rest of the evening quietly together.
Never before had Clementina found her cousin half so agreeable as now. He was so gentle, so considerate, so ready to sympathize with her, that she began suddenly quite to change her opinion of him, and think the young peer a very delightful9 companion. She had hitherto been rather provoked at his indifference10 towards her; now, as she had little idea of the nature of Christian11 courtesy, she attributed all his kindness to admiration12. She thought that the white bandage across her brow might have an “interesting” effect; and Ernest’s gentle consideration would have lost half its power to please,
[192]
 had Clementina been aware that it would have been equally shown to one in a humbler class of life of the age of forty instead of fourteen.
As she reclined on the sofa, and Ernest sat beside her, it was a great comfort to her to be able to pour out her complaints to him. “There never was anything so unfortunate,” said she; “you can’t imagine what it is to have such a disappointment.”
 
CLEMENTINA AND ERNEST.
“I think that I can, Clementina, for I was once most bitterly disappointed myself.”
“Oh, but you are such a sober creature, such a philosopher. I daresay that you scarcely gave it a thought.”
[193]
“On the contrary, I felt myself almost overwhelmed. I could hardly speak, I could hardly keep from tears.”
“You!” exclaimed Clementina in surprise.
“I thought,” continued Ernest, “that there was no one on earth so unhappy as I—that all happiness in this world was gone.”
“What could have made you so wretched?” cried the girl, her curiosity so much roused that her own troubles were for the moment forgotten.
“I had lost what I greatly desired.”
“And what could that have been, Ernest?”
“A situation so much below my real rank, that I smile now to think that I could ever have wished for it. Had no difficulties been in my way, had I had what I desired, I probably never should have possessed13 my birth-right. How glad I am now of what so much distressed14 me then!”
“And what was it you were so miserable15 at losing?”
“A place in the service of Mr. Searle.”
“You don’t say so!” exclaimed Clementina, opening her eyes to their widest extent. “That was below you indeed; what an escape you made!”
“Perhaps nothing that ever happened to me caused me more pain.”
“Oh! that was because you did not know what you really were, or you would have looked a good deal higher.”
“Now, Clemmy, it seems to me that this is the very reason why you are so unhappy this evening.”
[194]
“What! that I do not know what I really am? what can you mean!” exclaimed the girl, yet more astonished than before.
“If you discovered that you were a king’s daughter, would you fret16 for a ball, or care for a blow?”
“Really, Ernest,” cried Clementina, half curious, half inclined to think him jesting, though he did not look so, “I wish you would speak so that I could understand you.”
“I wish you to look higher, dear cousin; you set your thoughts and your hopes too low, on things far more beneath your real station and privileges than the office of a servant was beneath mine. Are you not the child of the King of kings; is not a mansion17 in heaven offered to you; may not the white robes and golden crown be preparing for you now; and yet you seem as though you knew not of the bliss18 set before you—you are content to be a servant?”
“To whom?” interrupted Clementina.
“To the world; and oh, my cousin, the world is a bad master! you have tasted this night what wages it can give; God grant that you know not much more of their bitterness hereafter.”
“Why, Fontonore, what is the matter? why do you speak so?” cried Clementina, looking half frightened at her cousin’s earnest face; for it cost him no small effort to address her thus, and he warmed with his own words as they flowed on.
[195]
“I speak thus because I long to see you happy, really happy. Now you are only, as it were, blowing bubbles of pleasure: you touch them and they break, and are gone for ever. Oh, let us seek that which is lasting19 and sure—that which will be ours when these frail20 bodies are dust.”
“It is very unkind in you to talk of such things to me when I am weak and nervous, it makes one so horribly gloomy.”
“Does it make one gloomy to hear of sins being pardoned; does it make one gloomy to hear of a Father in heaven; to know that treasures are laid up for us where neither moth6 nor rust21 can corrupt22, where happiness is as lasting as it is perfect. Did it make me gloomy to hear that I had a rich inheritance?”
“Oh, that was quite a different thing!” cried Clementina, “from becoming one of your pious23 saints. You talk to me now only about happiness in religion, but I know very well all the lectures upon holiness, and unworldliness, and repentance24 that will follow.”
“Still my comparison holds,” pursued the young peer, “for I have not yet entered into full possession of my estate; I have yet many a difficult lesson to learn, nor can I spend but a portion of what is my own.”
“You have a good deal of enjoyment25 in the meantime.”
“I have, Clementina, and in this, most of all, may my
[196]
 position be compared to a Christian’s. He has great enjoyment, pure, present enjoyment, a beginning of his pleasures even here. Does not the Bible command us to rejoice without ceasing?—who can rejoice if the Christian does not? Yes,” continued Ernest, his eyes sparkling with animation26, “how very, very happy those must be who have gone a long way on their pilgrimage, when I, who am only struggling at the entrance, can say that I have found no pleasure to equal it! Oh, Clementina! my joy when I heard that I was raised from being a poor peasant, forced to toil27 for my bread, to become one of the nobles of the land—the joy which I felt then was as nothing compared to my delight when I first felt assured that my sins were forgiven me.”
Clementina made no reply, and soon after expressed her wish to retire to rest. Those who have never known the happiness of religion find it difficult to believe that it really bestows28 any. A blind man cannot understand the beauty of light, nor the man deaf from his birth the delight of music. Yet music and light are around us still, and such to the soul is “the joy of the Lord.”
“Perhaps some day she may reflect over what has passed,” thought Ernest, as he bade his cousin a courteous29 good-night; “and at least one thing is left that I can do for her still—I will never cease to pray.”

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1 trickling 24aeffc8684b1cc6b8fa417e730cc8dc     
n.油画底色含油太多而成泡沫状突起v.滴( trickle的现在分词 );淌;使)慢慢走;缓慢移动
参考例句:
  • Tears were trickling down her cheeks. 眼泪顺着她的面颊流了下来。
  • The engine was trickling oil. 发动机在滴油。 来自《简明英汉词典》
2 sobbing df75b14f92e64fc9e1d7eaf6dcfc083a     
<主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的
参考例句:
  • I heard a child sobbing loudly. 我听见有个孩子在呜呜地哭。
  • Her eyes were red with recent sobbing. 她的眼睛因刚哭过而发红。
3 hysterical 7qUzmE     
adj.情绪异常激动的,歇斯底里般的
参考例句:
  • He is hysterical at the sight of the photo.他一看到那张照片就异常激动。
  • His hysterical laughter made everybody stunned.他那歇斯底里的笑声使所有的人不知所措。
4 sobbed 4a153e2bbe39eef90bf6a4beb2dba759     
哭泣,啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 ); 哭诉,呜咽地说
参考例句:
  • She sobbed out the story of her son's death. 她哭诉着她儿子的死。
  • She sobbed out the sad story of her son's death. 她哽咽着诉说她儿子死去的悲惨经过。
5 dread Ekpz8     
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧
参考例句:
  • We all dread to think what will happen if the company closes.我们都不敢去想一旦公司关门我们该怎么办。
  • Her heart was relieved of its blankest dread.她极度恐惧的心理消除了。
6 moth a10y1     
n.蛾,蛀虫
参考例句:
  • A moth was fluttering round the lamp.有一只蛾子扑打着翅膀绕着灯飞。
  • The sweater is moth-eaten.毛衣让蛀虫咬坏了。
7 volatile tLQzQ     
adj.反复无常的,挥发性的,稍纵即逝的,脾气火爆的;n.挥发性物质
参考例句:
  • With the markets being so volatile,investments are at great risk.由于市场那么变化不定,投资冒着很大的风险。
  • His character was weak and volatile.他这个人意志薄弱,喜怒无常。
8 decided lvqzZd     
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的
参考例句:
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
9 delightful 6xzxT     
adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的
参考例句:
  • We had a delightful time by the seashore last Sunday.上星期天我们在海滨玩得真痛快。
  • Peter played a delightful melody on his flute.彼得用笛子吹奏了一支欢快的曲子。
10 indifference k8DxO     
n.不感兴趣,不关心,冷淡,不在乎
参考例句:
  • I was disappointed by his indifference more than somewhat.他的漠不关心使我很失望。
  • He feigned indifference to criticism of his work.他假装毫不在意别人批评他的作品。
11 Christian KVByl     
adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒
参考例句:
  • They always addressed each other by their Christian name.他们总是以教名互相称呼。
  • His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。
12 admiration afpyA     
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕
参考例句:
  • He was lost in admiration of the beauty of the scene.他对风景之美赞不绝口。
  • We have a great admiration for the gold medalists.我们对金牌获得者极为敬佩。
13 possessed xuyyQ     
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的
参考例句:
  • He flew out of the room like a man possessed.他像着了魔似地猛然冲出房门。
  • He behaved like someone possessed.他行为举止像是魔怔了。
14 distressed du1z3y     
痛苦的
参考例句:
  • He was too distressed and confused to answer their questions. 他非常苦恼而困惑,无法回答他们的问题。
  • The news of his death distressed us greatly. 他逝世的消息使我们极为悲痛。
15 miserable g18yk     
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的
参考例句:
  • It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他,这是可耻的。
  • Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。
16 fret wftzl     
v.(使)烦恼;(使)焦急;(使)腐蚀,(使)磨损
参考例句:
  • Don't fret.We'll get there on time.别着急,我们能准时到那里。
  • She'll fret herself to death one of these days.她总有一天会愁死的.
17 mansion 8BYxn     
n.大厦,大楼;宅第
参考例句:
  • The old mansion was built in 1850.这座古宅建于1850年。
  • The mansion has extensive grounds.这大厦四周的庭园广阔。
18 bliss JtXz4     
n.狂喜,福佑,天赐的福
参考例句:
  • It's sheer bliss to be able to spend the day in bed.整天都可以躺在床上真是幸福。
  • He's in bliss that he's won the Nobel Prize.他非常高兴,因为获得了诺贝尔奖金。
19 lasting IpCz02     
adj.永久的,永恒的;vbl.持续,维持
参考例句:
  • The lasting war debased the value of the dollar.持久的战争使美元贬值。
  • We hope for a lasting settlement of all these troubles.我们希望这些纠纷能获得永久的解决。
20 frail yz3yD     
adj.身体虚弱的;易损坏的
参考例句:
  • Mrs. Warner is already 96 and too frail to live by herself.华纳太太已经九十六岁了,身体虚弱,不便独居。
  • She lay in bed looking particularly frail.她躺在床上,看上去特别虚弱。
21 rust XYIxu     
n.锈;v.生锈;(脑子)衰退
参考例句:
  • She scraped the rust off the kitchen knife.她擦掉了菜刀上的锈。
  • The rain will rust the iron roof.雨水会使铁皮屋顶生锈。
22 corrupt 4zTxn     
v.贿赂,收买;adj.腐败的,贪污的
参考例句:
  • The newspaper alleged the mayor's corrupt practices.那家报纸断言市长有舞弊行为。
  • This judge is corrupt.这个法官贪污。
23 pious KSCzd     
adj.虔诚的;道貌岸然的
参考例句:
  • Alexander is a pious follower of the faith.亚历山大是个虔诚的信徒。
  • Her mother was a pious Christian.她母亲是一个虔诚的基督教徒。
24 repentance ZCnyS     
n.懊悔
参考例句:
  • He shows no repentance for what he has done.他对他的所作所为一点也不懊悔。
  • Christ is inviting sinners to repentance.基督正在敦请有罪的人悔悟。
25 enjoyment opaxV     
n.乐趣;享有;享用
参考例句:
  • Your company adds to the enjoyment of our visit. 有您的陪同,我们这次访问更加愉快了。
  • After each joke the old man cackled his enjoyment.每逢讲完一个笑话,这老人就呵呵笑着表示他的高兴。
26 animation UMdyv     
n.活泼,兴奋,卡通片/动画片的制作
参考例句:
  • They are full of animation as they talked about their childhood.当他们谈及童年的往事时都非常兴奋。
  • The animation of China made a great progress.中国的卡通片制作取得很大发展。
27 toil WJezp     
vi.辛劳工作,艰难地行动;n.苦工,难事
参考例句:
  • The wealth comes from the toil of the masses.财富来自大众的辛勤劳动。
  • Every single grain is the result of toil.每一粒粮食都来之不易。
28 bestows 37d65133a4a734d50d7d7e9a205b8ef8     
赠给,授予( bestow的第三人称单数 )
参考例句:
  • Second, Xie Lingyun bestows on basic subject and emotion connotation. 谢灵运赋的基本主题及情感内涵。
  • And the frigid climate bestows Heilongjiang rich resources of ice and snow. 寒冷的气候赋予了其得天独厚的冰雪资源。
29 courteous tooz2     
adj.彬彬有礼的,客气的
参考例句:
  • Although she often disagreed with me,she was always courteous.尽管她常常和我意见不一,但她总是很谦恭有礼。
  • He was a kind and courteous man.他为人友善,而且彬彬有礼。


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