CHAPTER XXIV A Different Kind of Happiness

“July 20th.
“Dear Father:
“I have been a fortnight at Wyther Grange and I have not written to you once. But I thought of you every day. I had to write to Aunt Laura and Ilse and Teddy and Cousin Jimmy and Perry and between times I am having such fun. The first night I was here I did not think I was going to be happy. But I am—only it’s a different kind from New Moon happiness.
“Aunt Nancy and Caroline are very good to me and let me do exactly as I like. This is very agreeable. They are very sarcastic¹ to each other. But I think they are a good bit like Ilse and me—they fight quite frequently
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 but love each other very hard between times. I am sure Caroline isn’t a witch but I would like to know what she thinks of when she is all alone by herself. Aunt Nancy is not pretty any longer but she is very aristocratic looking. She doesn’t walk much because of her roomatism, so she sits mostly in her back parlor² and reads and knits lace or plays cards with Caroline. I talk to her a great deal because she says it amuses her and I have told her a great many things but I have never told her that I write poetry. If I did I know she would make me recite it to her and I feel she is not the right person to recite your poetry to. And I do not talk about you or Mother to her, though she tries to make me. I told her all about Lofty John and his bush and going to Father Cassidy. She chuckled³ over that and said she always liked to talk to the Catholic Priests because they were the only men in the world a woman could talk to for more than ten minutes without other women saying she was throwing herself at their heads.
“Aunt Nancy says a great many things like that. She and Caroline talk a great deal to each other about things that happened in the Priest and Murray families. I like to sit and listen. They don’t stop just as things are getting interesting the way Aunt Elizabeth and Aunt Laura do. A good many things I don’t understand but I will remember them and will find out about them sometime. I have written descriptions of Aunt Nancy and Caroline in my Jimmy-book. I keep the book hid behind the wardrobe in my room because I found Caroline rummidging in my trunk one day. I must not call Aunt Nancy Great-Aunt. She says it makes her feel like Methoosaleh. She tells me all about the men who were in love with her. It seems to me they all behaved pretty much the same. I don’t think that was exciting but she says it was. She tells me about all the parties and dances they used to have here long ago. Wyther Grange is
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 bigger than New Moon and the furniture is much handsomer but it is harder to feel acquainted with it.
“There are many interesting things in this house. I love to look at them. There is a Jakobite glass on a stand in the parlor. It was a glass an old ansester of the Priests had long ago in Scotland and it has a thistle and a rose on it and they used it to drink Prince Charlie’s health with and for no other purpose. It is a very valewable airloom and Aunt Nancy prizes it highly. And she has a pickled snake in a big glass jar in the china cabinet. It is hideous⁴ but fascinating. I shiver when I see it but yet I go to look at it every day. Something seems to drag me to it. Aunt Nancy has a bureau in her room with glass knobs and a vase shaped like a green fish sitting up on end and a Chinese draggon with a curly tail, and a case of sweet little stuffed humming birds and a sand-glass for boiling eggs by and a framed wreath made out of the hair of all the dead Priests and lots of old dagerrotipes. But the thing I like the best of all is a great silvery shining ball hanging from the lamp in the parlour. It reflects everything like a little fairy world. Aunt Nancy calls it a gazing-ball, and says that when she is dead I am to have it. I wish she hadn’t said that because I want the ball so much that I can’t help wondering when she will die and that makes me feel wicked. I am to have the chessy-cat door knocker and her gold earrings⁵, too. These are Murray airlooms. Aunt Nancy says the Priest airlooms must go to the Priests. I will like the chessy-cat but I don’t want the earrings. I’d rather not have people notice my ears.
“I have to sleep alone. I feel frightened but I think if I could get over being frightened I’d like it. I don’t mind the swallows now. It’s just being alone so far away from any one. But it is lovely to be able to stretch out your legs just as you like and not have anybody scold you for skwirming. And when I wake up in the night
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 and think of a splendid line of poetry (because the things that you think of like that always seem the best) I can get right out of bed and write it right down in my Jimmy-book. I couldn’t do that at home and then by morning I’d likely forget it. I thought of such a nice line last night. “Lilies lifted pearly chaluses (a chalus is a kind of cup only more poetical) where bees were drowned in sweetness” and I felt happy because I was sure they were two better lines than any I had composed yet.
“I am allowed to go into the kitchen and help Caroline cook. Caroline is a good cook but sometimes she makes a mistake and this vexes⁶ Aunt Nancy because she likes nice things to eat. The other day Caroline made the barley⁷ soup far too thick and when Aunt Nancy looked at her plate she said “Lord, is this a dinner or a poltis?” Caroline said “It is good enough for a Priest and what is good enough for a Priest is good enough for a Murray,” and Aunt Nancy said “Woman, the Priests eat of the crumbs⁸ that fall from the Murrays’ tables,” and Caroline was so mad she cried. And Aunt Nancy said to me “Emily, never marry a Priest”—just like Old Kelly, when I have no notion of marrying one of them. I don’t like any of them I’ve seen very much but they seem to me a good deal like other people. Jim is the best of them but impident.
“I like the Wyther Grange breakfasts better than the New Moon breakfasts. We have toast and bacon and marmalade—nicer than porridge.
“Sunday is more amusing here than at New Moon but not so holy. Nice for a change. Aunt Nancy can’t go to church or knit lace so she and Caroline play cards all day but she says I must never do it—that she is just a bad example. I love to look at Aunt Nancy’s big parlor Bible because there are so many interesting things in it—pieces of dresses and hair and poetry and old tintipes and
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 accounts of deaths and weddings. I found a piece about my own birth and it gave me a queer feeling.
“In the afternoon some of the Priests come to see Aunt Nancy and stay to supper. Leslie Priest always comes. He is Aunt Nancy’s faverite neffew, so Jim says. I think that is because he pays her compliments. But I saw him wink⁹ at Isaac Priest once when he paid her one. I don’t like him. He treats me as if I was a meer child. Aunt Nancy says terrible things to them all but they just laugh. When they go away Aunt Nancy makes fun of them to Caroline. Caroline doesn’t like it, because she is a Priest and so she and Aunt Nancy always quarrel Sunday evening and don’t speak again till Monday morning.
“I can read all the books in Aunt Nancy’s bookcase except the row on the top shelf. I wonder why I can’t read them. Aunt Nancy said they were French novels but I just peeped into one and it was English. I wonder if Aunt Nancy tells lies.
“The place I love best is down at bay shore. Some parts of the shore are very steep and there are such nice, woodsy, unexpected places all along it. I wander there and compose poetry. I miss Ilse and Teddy and Perry and Saucy¹⁰ Sal a great deal. I had a letter from Ilse today. She wrote me that they couldn’t do anything more about the Midsummer Night’s Dream till I got back. It is nice to feel so necessary.
“Aunt Nancy doesn’t like Aunt Elizabeth. She called her a “tyrant” one day and then she said “Jimmy Murray was a very clever boy. Elizabeth Murray killed his intellect in her temper—and nothing was done to her. If she had killed his body she would have been a murderess. The other was worse, if you ask me.” I do not like Aunt Elizabeth at times myself but I felt, dear Father, that I must stand up for my family and I said “I do not want to hear such things said of my Aunt Elizabeth.”
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“And I just gave Aunt Nancy a look. She said “Well, Saucebox, my brother Archibald will never be dead as long as you’re alive. If you don’t want to hear things don’t hang around when Caroline and I are talking. I notice there are plenty of things you like to hear.”
“This was sarcasm¹¹, dear Father, but still I feel Aunt Nancy likes me but perhaps she will not like me very long. Jim Priest says she is fikkle and never liked anyone, even her husband, very long. But after she has been sarcastic to me she always tells Caroline to give me a piece of pie so I don’t mind the sarcasm. She lets me have real tea, too. I like it. At New Moon Aunt Elizabeth won’t give me anything but cambric tea because it is best for my health. Aunt Nancy says the way to be healthy is to eat just what you want and never think about your stomach. But then she was never threttened with consumption. She says I needn’t be a bit frightened of dying of consumption because I have too much ginger¹² in me. That is a comforting thought. The only time I don’t like Aunt Nancy is when she begins talking about the different parts of me and the effect they will have on the men. It makes me feel so silly.
“I will write you oftener after this, dear Father. I feel I have been neglecting you.
“P. S. I am afraid there are some mistakes in spelling in this letter. I forgot to bring my dictionary with me.
“July 22.
“Oh, dear Father, I am in a dreadful scrape. I don’t know what I am to do. Oh, Father, I have broken Aunt Nancy’s Jakobite glass. It seems to me like a dreadful dream.
“I went into the parlor today to look at the pickled snake and just as I was turning away my sleeve caught the Jakobite glass and over it went on the harth and shivered into fragments. At first I rushed out and left them there but afterwards I went back and carefully gathered
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 them up and hid them in a box behind the sofa. Aunt Nancy never goes into the parlor now and Caroline not very often and perhaps they may not miss the glass until I go home. But it haunts me. I keep thinking of it all the time and I cannot enjoy anything. I know Aunt Nancy will be furious and never forgive me if she finds out. I could not sleep all night for worrying about it. Jim Priest came down to play with me today but he said there was no fun in me and went home. The Priests mostly say what they think. Of course there was no fun in me. How could there be? I wonder if it would do any good to pray about it. I don’t feel as if it would be right to pray because I am deceiving Aunt Nancy.
“July 24.
“Dear Father, this is a very strange world. Nothing ever turns out just like what you expect. Last night I couldn’t sleep again. I was so worried. I thought I was a coward, and doing an underhanded thing and not living up to my tradishuns. At last it got so bad I couldn’t stand it. I can bear it when other people have a bad opinion of me but it hurts too much when I have a bad opinion of myself. So I got out of bed and went right back through all those halls to the back parlor. Aunt Nancy was still there all alone playing Solitare. She said what on earth was I out of bed for at such an hour. I just said, short and quick to get the worst over, “I broke your Jakobite glass yesterday and hid the pieces behind the sofa.” Then I waited for the storm to burst. Aunt Nancy said “What a blessing¹³. I’ve often wanted to smash it but never had the courage. All the Priest clan¹⁴ are waiting for me to die to get that glass and quarrel over it and I’m tickled¹⁵ to think none of them can have it now and yet can’t pick a fuss with me over smashing it. Get off to bed and get your beauty sleep.” I said “And aren’t you mad at all, Aunt Nancy?” “If it had been a Murray airloom I’d have torn up the turf” Aunt Nancy
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 said. “But I don’t care a hoot¹⁶ about the Priest things.”
“So I went back to bed, dear Father, and felt very releeved, but not so heroyik.
“I had a letter from Ilse today. She says Saucy Sal has had kittens at last. I feel that I ought to be home to see about them. Likely Aunt Elizabeth will have them all drowned before I get back. I had a letter from Teddy too, not much of a letter but all filled with dear little pictures of Ilse and Perry and the Tansy Patch and Lofty John’s bush. They made me feel homesick.
“July 28.
“Oh, Father dear, I have found out all about the mistery of Ilse’s mother. It is so terrible I can’t write it down even to you. I cannot believe it but Aunt Nancy says it is true. I did not think there could be such terrible things in the world. No, I can’t believe it and I won’t believe it no matter who says it is true. I know Ilse’s mother couldn’t have done anything like that. There must have been a fearful mistake somewhere. I am so unhappy and feel as if I could never be happy any more. Last night I wept on my pillow, like the heroins in Aunt Nancy’s books do.”

1 sarcastic   

adj.讥讽的，讽刺的，嘲弄的

参考例句：

• I squashed him with a sarcastic remark.我说了一句讽刺的话把他给镇住了。
• She poked fun at people's shortcomings with sarcastic remarks.她冷嘲热讽地拿别人的缺点开玩笑。

2 parlor   

n.店铺，营业室；会客室，客厅

参考例句：

• She was lying on a small settee in the parlor.她躺在客厅的一张小长椅上。
• Is there a pizza parlor in the neighborhood?附近有没有比萨店？

3 chuckled   

轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• She chuckled at the memory. 想起这件事她就暗自发笑。
• She chuckled softly to herself as she remembered his astonished look. 想起他那惊讶的表情，她就轻轻地暗自发笑。

4 hideous   

adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的

参考例句：

• The whole experience had been like some hideous nightmare.整个经历就像一场可怕的噩梦。
• They're not like dogs,they're hideous brutes.它们不像狗，是丑陋的畜牲。

5 earrings   

n.耳环( earring的名词复数 )；耳坠子

参考例句：

• a pair of earrings 一对耳环
• These earrings snap on with special fastener. 这付耳环是用特制的按扣扣上去的。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 vexes   

v.使烦恼( vex的第三人称单数 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论

参考例句：

• Her continuous chatter vexes me. 她的喋喋不休使我烦透了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• His continuous chatter vexes me. 他唠叨不休，真烦死我了。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

7 barley   

n.大麦，大麦粒

参考例句：

• They looked out across the fields of waving barley.他们朝田里望去,只见大麦随风摇摆。
• He cropped several acres with barley.他种了几英亩大麦。

8 crumbs   

int. (表示惊讶)哎呀 n. 碎屑 名词crumb的复数形式

参考例句：

• She stood up and brushed the crumbs from her sweater. 她站起身掸掉了毛衣上的面包屑。
• Oh crumbs! Is that the time? 啊，天哪！都这会儿啦？

9 wink   

n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁

参考例句：

• He tipped me the wink not to buy at that price.他眨眼暗示我按那个价格就不要买。
• The satellite disappeared in a wink.瞬息之间，那颗卫星就消失了。

10 saucy   

adj.无礼的；俊俏的；活泼的

参考例句：

• He was saucy and mischievous when he was working.他工作时总爱调皮捣蛋。
• It was saucy of you to contradict your father.你顶撞父亲，真是无礼。

11 sarcasm   

n.讥讽，讽刺，嘲弄，反话 （adj.sarcastic）

参考例句：

• His sarcasm hurt her feelings.他的讽刺伤害了她的感情。
• She was given to using bitter sarcasm.她惯于用尖酸刻薄语言挖苦人。

12 ginger   

n.姜，精力，淡赤黄色；adj.淡赤黄色的；vt.使活泼，使有生气

参考例句：

• There is no ginger in the young man.这个年轻人没有精神。
• Ginger shall be hot in the mouth.生姜吃到嘴里总是辣的。

13 blessing   

n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿

参考例句：

• The blessing was said in Hebrew.祷告用了希伯来语。
• A double blessing has descended upon the house.双喜临门。

14 clan   

n.氏族，部落，宗族，家族，宗派

参考例句：

• She ranks as my junior in the clan.她的辈分比我小。
• The Chinese Christians,therefore,practically excommunicate themselves from their own clan.所以，中国的基督徒简直是被逐出了自己的家族了。

15 tickled   

（使）发痒( tickle的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）愉快，逗乐

参考例句：

• We were tickled pink to see our friends on television. 在电视中看到我们的一些朋友，我们高兴极了。
• I tickled the baby's feet and made her laugh. 我胳肢孩子的脚，使她发笑。

16 hoot   

n.鸟叫声，汽车的喇叭声； v.使汽车鸣喇叭

参考例句：

• The sudden hoot of a whistle broke into my thoughts.突然响起的汽笛声打断了我的思路。
• In a string of shrill hoot of the horn sound,he quickly ran to her.在一串尖声鸣叫的喇叭声中，他快速地跑向她。