Ah, the letter, the fateful letter! The letter advising her that the man to whom she was virtually engaged would put in an appearance on such and such a day!
Upon its receipt Louise had proceeded with real candour. The letter, or rather the important implication it contained, was discussed at once. Oh, yes. She went at once to Leslie with her sinister2 yet thrilling confession3. Louise Needham was fundamentally an honest, an even straight-forward young person. Fundamentally: though the roots were not, it is true, always called upon. The mistakes she made were rather faults of judgment4 than altogether of a slumbering5 conscience. Indeed, there had been numerous occasions when her life would have moved much more smoothly6 had she been less blunt, or had her personal psychology7 possessed8 a few more curves. But this type of downrightness had been sternly inculcated. It was in the blood. The Rev9. Needham maintained that a square, simple, stalwart attitude toward the world was the very cornerstone of[Pg 37] security and peaceful living; and he had quotations10 out of the Scriptures11 to back it up. Yes, Louise had gone to Leslie at once. True, she hadn't just happened to speak about Lynndal before—that is, she hadn't quite painted the relationship in its true colours, which naturally amounted to the same thing. As for this silence—well, she would argue that it was in no real sense a deception12, because the engagement (there was no ring as yet) wasn't public property. No, it was strictly13 an affair existing between herself and Lynndal. In a way, Leslie ought to consider himself honoured to be consulted at all.
"Well, he'll be here in a few hours now," mourned the honoured individual as they walked along together through the woods toward Crystal Lake and the little launch. "Then goodnight for me!"
"Les, please don't talk like that. You'd think we couldn't even be friends any more."
"Friends!" He had been suffered to call her more endearing names throughout the span of the past few weeks.
"I'm sure we'll always be the best sort of friends, Leslie."
But he couldn't see it. "I'm going back to the city!" It was about as close to heroics as he ever verged14.
And following this highly dramatic climax15 there was a little space of silence. They walked on, side by side. Louise began to realize how unwise she had been.
[Pg 38]
This walk through the forest of Betsey was ordinarily a very wonderful experience. Of course, however, upon this occasion, neither of the young persons concerned was in any mood to appreciate it. For her part, if consulted, Louise would reply that she had no time. Still, for all that, the experience was (potentially) a delight; for here one discovered a true, unspoiled natural loveliness, even a kind of sylvan16 grandeur17. The way, all underneath18 greenery thickly arched, wound up and down. From every eminence19 the neighbouring valleys appeared sunk to an almost ghostly declivity20; but from the valleys themselves, the uplands, with their rich tangled21 approaches, soared grandly toward a heaven invisible for leafy vaulting22. At this early hour the summits were a little dusky, while the depressions slept in deep shade. The full, fair rays of the uprising sun shot across the exposed tops of the higher levels of forest, and here and there even the loftier stretches of path would be dappled with furtive23 annunciatory splashes. In the forest it was cool and buoyantly fresh, though heat was already quivering up off the open stretches of sand skirting the smaller lake. It promised to be one of the warm days of a rather grudging24 season.
"Les," she said finally, "why do you talk about going back to the city?"
"Because I don't care to stay up here and...." If concluded, the sentence would have run: "and see[Pg 39] you together." But he thought better of it. Poise25 saved him. He compressed his lips.
"Oh, Les, don't make it so hard for me!"
"You didn't spare me!" he replied grimly.
"What do you mean?" Her eyes were a little wide.
"H'm...."
"Tell me, Les. We can't go on this way." She meant that she would find it uncomfortable—a cloud for her present satisfaction with life.
"You knew how I felt. You knew all about it. Yet you didn't send me packing, or try to drop me. You didn't even give me a hint of how things were. Do you call that sparing a fellow?"
His arraignment26 was almost bewildering in its complexity27. But she chose one indictment28 and grappled with it valiantly29. "Of course I didn't try to drop you. I never treated any man that way!"
"Well," he replied dryly, "I wish you had."
"You wish I hadn't had anything to do with you?" Such a proposition struck her as unpleasant, to a marked degree—even almost grotesque30.
He countered without replying: "Didn't you know how much I cared?"
"Yes, but my goodness, Les, must a girl entirely31 shun32 a man to prevent his falling—I mean, to keep him from caring too much?"
"Oh, no," he answered with a sharp sigh. "Don't mind me. Don't mind anything I've said. I guess[Pg 40] I'll get over it—especially since it seems that you didn't feel at all the way I did, and I was merely making a fool of myself." It was a cup of highly flavoured bitterness.
"Oh, please don't say such a thing as that! You know I told you all along, Leslie, that I—that I had a friend in Arizona, and I—well, you see I somehow felt you'd understand. I didn't know the things we did—I mean I didn't realize our being together so much meant anything except that we—well, that we liked each other and wanted to be together...."
She felt it was just a little lame33, and began laying about for more forcible expression. Meanwhile, Leslie muttered: "No, those things never do mean any more, I guess."
"But Leslie, dear—"
She spoke34 unwisely. At the familiar word of affection, which had thrilled him so often during the unmolested weeks—that wonderful span shattered by the arrival of the letter from Arizona—Leslie momentarily forgot about his dark humiliation35. He forgot everything but the fact of the woman beside him. He seized her swinging hand; gripped it. And then they paused, further progress along the sun-flecked way seeming inhibited36 by some subtle agent in league with the emotion which swept over them both.
Oh, Eros! Are your agents everywhere?
From gripping her hand he unexpectedly and rather bafflingly had her in his arms. And she[Pg 41] presented, for just that charged moment, no resistance, but relaxed there with a little inarticulate, troubled, withal surrendering cry.
"Louise!"
"Oh, Les!"
When they had kissed he broke the curious spell by demanding, with considerable passion, why, if she really did care, she was so willing to throw him over for another man. It seemed a pivotal question. It seemed an unanswerable one, even, in the light of what had just occurred. But Miss Needham, now the spell was broken and she could breathlessly begin getting hold of herself again, proved magnificently equal to it. The beauty of the Needham logic37 was just that it could always find an answer to every question, however pivotal—some kind of answer, that is.
"Oh, Leslie!" she cried. "Don't you see? I'm not throwing you over. Not the way you want to make it seem. I care for you just the same as—yes, as I ever did! Why shouldn't I?" she demanded, with vague defiance38. "Only I—I suppose some of the things we've done—what we just did.... Well, and the other times, aren't—I suppose they wouldn't be quite right if I'm to be formally engaged. But you see I—I've looked upon this engagement—I mean I've looked upon it as not quite settled yet...." She faltered39 and spoke more thickly, as though getting down to cold facts somehow made the whole business a little tawdry. "I'm[Pg 42] not wearing any ring yet, you see," she went on, waving her hand before them a trifle awkwardly, and laughing with constraint40. "And as long as Mr. Barry and I aren't really engaged—not quite in the usual way yet, I mean—I didn't see—I don't see now what harm there is in making—well, new friends."
It was an amazing speech. It was a wonderful speech. He offered no immediate41 reply to it. What could he say? The fact is, he had never heard just such a speech as this in his life, and found himself, not perhaps unreasonably42, a little bit bewildered by it. None of the lessons in feminine psychology he had learned thus far had just prepared Leslie for such a speech as this. As abruptly43 as they had paused, the two now resumed their walk. And from this moment his attitude toward her was also altered.
Louise started slightly, as though for the first time fully44 realizing what had just taken place. She glanced at her wrist watch. It was ten minutes to five by the tiny dial.
"I hope we can make it," she said anxiously. The return to her former preoccupations might have struck a disinterested45 observer as bizarre, though of course Louise wasn't conscious of anything like that. She was not conscious of anything bizarre at all. It was really extraordinary, at times, how free from any blemish46 of self-consciousness she seemed to be. This was her way: giving herself over [Pg 43]entirely to one thing at a time. Curiously47 enough, it even had something to do with what has (carefully weighing values) been called her fundamental honesty; though here, as so often with her, the true spring was not involved. Concentration was one of the sturdy precepts48 expounded49 by the Rev. Alfred Needham. The influence of this father was very strongly marked in the daughter. But as for Leslie, he was keenly conscious, walking beside her through the lovely forest of Betsey, of a shift which seemed to him untimely and again humiliating. He grew reserved and cold; walked along in silence. However, his thoughts were busy. And the more he thought of it, the more convinced he was that that phrase of hers: "I don't see what harm there is in making new friends," sounded a warning which he must heed50! Louise glanced again at her watch to make quite sure she had read the hour aright.
"Les," she demanded, wholly consumed now with the apprehension51 lest she miss her train, "is your watch with mine?"
"I have five minutes to five," he answered coldly, pressing open the case of his old-fashioned heirloom watch and quickly snapping it shut again. He snapped it as quickly as he could because he did not want to let his eyes rest on the picture pasted inside the case.
"Do you think we can make it?"
"I've made it in less time, a good deal."
"Les," she entreated52 wanderingly as they emerged[Pg 44] from the forest and scudded53 through the sand to the boathouse where he kept his little launch, "we simply must be friends, whatever happens."
She studied, though abstractedly, the settling look of antipathy54 on his face. She did not know what it meant, but instinctively55 she shuddered57 at it just a little.
"Les, dear, you must let me be...."
His curiosity was aroused, and he broke with a heavy bluntness into the groping silence. "What?"
"Why, I was just going to say you must let me be"—the inevitable58 could not be restrained—"be like a sister to you...." And she smiled, even through her troubled abstraction. She laid a hand on his arm. "I know that sounds as though it came out of a book, but it expresses my thought as well as I know how. You know—you see I'm a little older than you—though I never think of that...."
Leslie dropped his arm, and her hand slid off. It fell to her side in a limp way. She hardly noticed the fact, though. Her mind was swimming with the strange contending forces which seemed, so inexplicably59, to compose her life. She seemed all at once not to see anything very clearly....
They entered the boathouse, but Leslie had not replied to the generous suggestion, and went with a moody60 briskness61 about the task of making the small craft ready for the nine-mile voyage. Then he helped her in; arranged a cushion or two. When he touched her there was a mitigated62 flash of the old[Pg 45] thrill. But the thrill seemed subtly palpitating, now, with something else. It was a new and, oddly enough, a not altogether disagreeable sensation. For the first time, though Leslie didn't as yet clearly realize this, he was looking at Miss Needham critically. He had certainly never looked at her this way before. He noticed a tiny dash of powder she hadn't brushed off the collar of her jacket; observed a very faint and unobtrusive hint of the Roman in her nose. As for her nose, he merely wondered, as he coaxed63 the engine into activity, that he hadn't marked the true line of the bridge before....
It took nearly an hour to reach Beulah, at the other end of Crystal Lake. Louise, it fortunately developed, would make her train easily. Leslie moored64 the launch, which had behaved surprisingly well, and escorted his passenger through the tiny village to the railroad station. Little talk sped between them. He asked at what hour the expected steamer was due. Eight o'clock, she told him. He remarked that there would be a good bit of time to consume after she arrived in Frankfort, and she replied, in a mildly distracted way, that she didn't mind. But she added, all the same, with a little petitioning, blind burst: "I wish you were going the rest of the way with me!"
"I will if you want me to," he answered listlessly. Or was he feigning65 listlessness by way of retrieving66 his rather severely67 damaged pride?
[Pg 46]
"Oh, no!" she cried, merely voicing the instinctive56 contradiction which rose most naturally to her lips. The train was heard whistling in the distance. Then she remembered something, and spoke with greater assurance than had been displayed on her part since they left the forest of Betsey. "You're expected back, you know, to play tennis. You promised." She seemed almost relieved, in a way; yet she could not resist, too, the little muffled68 dig. And there was also something dark lurking69 beneath both the relief and the dig.
"I promised?"
"Didn't you tell Hilda you'd be back in time for the match?"
"Oh—yes," he admitted.
"So you see," she laughed, "you had no thought of going on any farther than Beulah!"
His just expressed willingness to accompany her the rest of the way had depended directly upon her own sufficiently70 vehement71 exclamation72: "I wish you were going!" But the way she laughed seemed to imply a kind of duplicity in him which brought a flush to his face. And he reminded her, with glacial tones: "You told me all along I could only take you as far as Beulah. You were very positive about it." The kindling73 distrust did not die out of his eyes.
"Yes, I understand, Les. It's all right. Hilda will be watching for you."
Suddenly the train came into view around a bend.[Pg 47] Louise unconsciously straightened her hat and tugged74 at her gloves, as though Lynndal Barry were to be met aboard the cars instead of emerging, ever so much later, from the boat in Frankfort.
"Good-bye, Les," she said warmly.
"Good-bye."
"Thank you so much for bringing me."
He nodded away the obligation. Then the train started, and Leslie turned back toward his launch.
A feeling of great and wholly unexpected tenderness came upon Louise. She leaned far out of the car window to wave. He looked back, saw her, and waved also; then sauntered coolly on toward the dock.
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1 intervals | |
n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 );间隔时间;[数学]区间;(戏剧、电影或音乐会的)幕间休息 | |
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2 sinister | |
adj.不吉利的,凶恶的,左边的 | |
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3 confession | |
n.自白,供认,承认 | |
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4 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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5 slumbering | |
微睡,睡眠(slumber的现在分词形式) | |
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6 smoothly | |
adv.平滑地,顺利地,流利地,流畅地 | |
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7 psychology | |
n.心理,心理学,心理状态 | |
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8 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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9 rev | |
v.发动机旋转,加快速度 | |
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10 quotations | |
n.引用( quotation的名词复数 );[商业]行情(报告);(货物或股票的)市价;时价 | |
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11 scriptures | |
经文,圣典( scripture的名词复数 ); 经典 | |
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12 deception | |
n.欺骗,欺诈;骗局,诡计 | |
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13 strictly | |
adv.严厉地,严格地;严密地 | |
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14 verged | |
接近,逼近(verge的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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15 climax | |
n.顶点;高潮;v.(使)达到顶点 | |
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16 sylvan | |
adj.森林的 | |
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17 grandeur | |
n.伟大,崇高,宏伟,庄严,豪华 | |
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18 underneath | |
adj.在...下面,在...底下;adv.在下面 | |
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19 eminence | |
n.卓越,显赫;高地,高处;名家 | |
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20 declivity | |
n.下坡,倾斜面 | |
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21 tangled | |
adj. 纠缠的,紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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22 vaulting | |
n.(天花板或屋顶的)拱形结构 | |
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23 furtive | |
adj.鬼鬼崇崇的,偷偷摸摸的 | |
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24 grudging | |
adj.勉强的,吝啬的 | |
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25 poise | |
vt./vi. 平衡,保持平衡;n.泰然自若,自信 | |
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26 arraignment | |
n.提问,传讯,责难 | |
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27 complexity | |
n.复杂(性),复杂的事物 | |
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28 indictment | |
n.起诉;诉状 | |
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29 valiantly | |
adv.勇敢地,英勇地;雄赳赳 | |
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30 grotesque | |
adj.怪诞的,丑陋的;n.怪诞的图案,怪人(物) | |
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31 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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32 shun | |
vt.避开,回避,避免 | |
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33 lame | |
adj.跛的,(辩解、论据等)无说服力的 | |
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34 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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35 humiliation | |
n.羞辱 | |
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36 inhibited | |
a.拘谨的,拘束的 | |
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37 logic | |
n.逻辑(学);逻辑性 | |
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38 defiance | |
n.挑战,挑衅,蔑视,违抗 | |
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39 faltered | |
(嗓音)颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 ); 支吾其词; 蹒跚; 摇晃 | |
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40 constraint | |
n.(on)约束,限制;限制(或约束)性的事物 | |
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41 immediate | |
adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的 | |
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42 unreasonably | |
adv. 不合理地 | |
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43 abruptly | |
adv.突然地,出其不意地 | |
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44 fully | |
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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45 disinterested | |
adj.不关心的,不感兴趣的 | |
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46 blemish | |
v.损害;玷污;瑕疵,缺点 | |
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47 curiously | |
adv.有求知欲地;好问地;奇特地 | |
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48 precepts | |
n.规诫,戒律,箴言( precept的名词复数 ) | |
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49 expounded | |
论述,详细讲解( expound的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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50 heed | |
v.注意,留意;n.注意,留心 | |
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51 apprehension | |
n.理解,领悟;逮捕,拘捕;忧虑 | |
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52 entreated | |
恳求,乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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53 scudded | |
v.(尤指船、舰或云彩)笔直、高速而平稳地移动( scud的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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54 antipathy | |
n.憎恶;反感,引起反感的人或事物 | |
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55 instinctively | |
adv.本能地 | |
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56 instinctive | |
adj.(出于)本能的;直觉的;(出于)天性的 | |
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57 shuddered | |
v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 );发抖;(机器、车辆等)突然震动;颤动 | |
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58 inevitable | |
adj.不可避免的,必然发生的 | |
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59 inexplicably | |
adv.无法说明地,难以理解地,令人难以理解的是 | |
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60 moody | |
adj.心情不稳的,易怒的,喜怒无常的 | |
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61 briskness | |
n.敏捷,活泼 | |
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62 mitigated | |
v.减轻,缓和( mitigate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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63 coaxed | |
v.哄,用好话劝说( coax的过去式和过去分词 );巧言骗取;哄劝,劝诱 | |
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64 moored | |
adj. 系泊的 动词moor的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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65 feigning | |
假装,伪装( feign的现在分词 ); 捏造(借口、理由等) | |
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66 retrieving | |
n.检索(过程),取还v.取回( retrieve的现在分词 );恢复;寻回;检索(储存的信息) | |
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67 severely | |
adv.严格地;严厉地;非常恶劣地 | |
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68 muffled | |
adj.(声音)被隔的;听不太清的;(衣服)裹严的;蒙住的v.压抑,捂住( muffle的过去式和过去分词 );用厚厚的衣帽包着(自己) | |
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69 lurking | |
潜在 | |
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70 sufficiently | |
adv.足够地,充分地 | |
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71 vehement | |
adj.感情强烈的;热烈的;(人)有强烈感情的 | |
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72 exclamation | |
n.感叹号,惊呼,惊叹词 | |
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73 kindling | |
n. 点火, 可燃物 动词kindle的现在分词形式 | |
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74 tugged | |
v.用力拉,使劲拉,猛扯( tug的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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