The colonel had not gone far, however, before he paused, thrust both hands into his trousers' pockets, and stared down at the ground for a matter of five minutes.
Musgrave shook his head. "After all," said he, "I can't trust them. Patricia is too erratic1 and too used to having her own way. Jack2 will try to break off with her now, of course; but Jack, where women are concerned, is as weak as water. It is not a nice thing to do, but—well! one must fight fire with fire."
Thereupon, he retraced3 his steps. When he had come to the thin spot in the thicket4, Rudolph Musgrave left the path, and entered the shrubbery. There he composedly sat down in the shadow of a small cedar5. The sight of his wife upon the beach in converse6 with Mr. Charteris did not appear to surprise Colonel Musgrave.
Patricia was speaking quickly. She held a bedraggled parasol in one hand. Her husband noted7, with a faint thrill of wonder, that, at times, and in a rather unwholesome, elfish way, Patricia was actually beautiful. Her big eyes glowed; they flashed with changing lights as deep waters glitter in the sun; her copper-colored hair seemed luminous8, and her cheeks flushed, arbutus-like. The soft, white stuff that gowned her had the look of foam9; against the gray sky she seemed a freakish spirit in the act of vanishing. For sky and water were all one lambent gray by this. In the west was a thin smear10 of orange; but, for the rest, the world was of a uniform and gleaming gray. She and Charteris stood in the heart of a great pearl.
"Ah, believe me," she was saying, "Rudolph isn't an ophthalmic bat. But God keep us all respectable! is Rudolph's notion of a sensible morning-prayer. So he just preferred to see nothing and bleat11 out edifying12 axioms. That is one of his favorite tricks. No, it was a comedy for my benefit, I tell you. He will allow a deal for the artistic13 temperament14, no doubt, but he doesn't suppose you fetch along a white-lace parasol when you go to watch a sunset—especially a parasol he gave me last month."
"Indeed," protested Mr. Charteris, "he saw nothing. I was too quick for him."
She shrugged15 her shoulders. "I saw him looking at it. Accordingly, I paid no attention to what he said. But you—ah, Jack, you were splendid! I suppose we shall have to elope at once now, though?"
Charteris gave her no immediate16 answer. "I am not quite sure, Patricia, that your husband is not—to a certain extent—in the right. Believe me, he did not know you were about. He approached me in a perfectly17 sensible manner, and exhibited commendable18 self-restraint; he has played a difficult part to admiration19. I could not have done it better myself. And it is not for us who have been endowed with gifts denied to Rudolph, to reproach him for lacking the finer perceptions and sensibilities of life. Yet, I must admit that, for the time, I was a little hurt by his evident belief that we would allow our feeling for each other—which is rather beyond his comprehension, isn't it, dear?—to be coerced20 by mercenary considerations."
"Oh, Rudolph is just a jackass-fool, anyway." She was not particularly interested in the subject.
"He can't help that, you know," Charteris reminded her, gently; then, he asked, after a little: "I suppose it is all true?"
"That what is true?"
"About your having no money of your own?" He laughed, but she could see how deeply he had been pained by Musgrave's suspicions. "I ask, because, as your husband has discovered, I am utterly21 sordid22, my lady, and care only for your wealth."
"Ah, how can you expect a man like that to understand—you? Why, Jack, how ridiculous in you to be hurt by what the brute23 thinks! You're as solemn as an owl24, my dear. Yes, it's true enough. My father was not very well pleased with us—and that horrid25 will—Ah, Jack, Jack, how grotesque26, how characteristic it was, his thinking such things would influence you—you, of all men, who scarcely know what money is!"
"It was even more grotesque I should have been pained by his thinking it," Charteris said, sadly. "But what would you have? I am so abominably27 in love with you that it seemed a sort of desecration28 when the man lugged29 your name into a discussion of money-matters. It really did. And then, besides—ah, my lady, you know that I would glory in the thought that I had given up all for you. You know, I think, that I would willingly work my fingers to the bone just that I might possess you always. So I had dreamed of love in a cottage—an idyl of blissful poverty, where Cupid contents himself with crusts and kisses, and mocks at the proverbial wolf on the doorstep. And I give you my word that until to-day I had not suspected how blindly selfish I have been! For poor old prosaic30 Rudolph is in the right, after all. Your delicate, tender beauty must not be dragged down to face the unlovely realities and petty deprivations31 and squalid makeshifts of such an existence as ours would be. True, I would glory in them—ah, luxury and riches mean little to me, my dear, and I can conceive of no greater happiness than to starve with you. But true love knows how to sacrifice itself. Your husband was right; it would not be fair to you, Patricia."
"You—you are going to leave me?"
"Yes; and I pray that I may be strong enough to relinquish32 you forever, because your welfare is more dear to me than my own happiness. No, I do not pretend that this is easy to do. But when my misery33 is earned by serving you I prize my misery." Charteris tried to smile. "What would you have? I love you," he said, simply.
"Ah, my dear!" she cried.
Musgrave's heart was sick within him as he heard the same notes in her voice that echoed in Anne's voice when she spoke34 of her husband. This was a new Patricia; her speech was low and gentle now, and her eyes held a light Rudolph Musgrave had not seen there for a long while.
"Ah, my dear, you are the noblest man I have ever known; I wish we women could be like men. But, oh, Jack, Jack, don't be quixotic! I can't give you up, my dear—that would never be for my good. Think how unhappy I have been all these years; think how Rudolph is starving my soul! I want to be free, Jack; I want to live my own life,—for at least a month or so—"
Patricia shivered here. "But none of us is sure of living for a month. You've shown me a glimpse of what life might be; don't let me sink back into the old, humdrum35 existence from a foolish sense of honor! I tell you, I should go mad! I mean to have my fling while I can get it. And I mean to have it with you, Jack—just you! I don't fear poverty. You could write some more wonderful books. I could work, too, Jack dear. I—I could teach music—or take in washing—or something, anyway. Lots of women support themselves, you know. Oh, Jack, we would be so happy! Don't be honorable and brave and disagreeable, Jack dear!"
For a moment Charteris was silent. The nostrils36 of his beak-like nose widened a little, and a curious look came into his face. He discovered something in the sand that interested him.
"After all," he demanded, slowly, "is it necessary—to go away—to be happy?"
"I don't understand." Her hand lifted from his arm; then quick remorse37 smote38 her, and it fluttered back, confidingly39.
Charteris rose to his feet. "It is, doubtless, a very spectacular and very stirring performance to cast your cap over the wind-mill in the face of the world; but, after all, is it not a bit foolish, Patricia? Lots of people manage these things—more quietly."
"Oh, Jack!" Patricia's face turned red, then white, and stiffened40 in a sort of sick terror. She was a frightened Columbine in stone. "I thought you cared for me—really, not—that way."
Patricia rose and spoke with composure. "I think I'll go back to the house, Mr. Charteris. It's a bit chilly41 here. You needn't bother to come."
Then Mr. Charteris laughed—a choking, sobbing42 laugh. He raised his hands impotently toward heaven. "And to think," he cried, "to think that a man may love a woman with his whole heart—with all that is best and noblest in him—and she understand him so little!"
"I do not think I have misunderstood you," Patricia said, in a crisp voice. "Your proposition was very explicit43. I—am sorry. I thought I had found one thing in the world which I would regret to leave—"
"And you really believed that I could sully the great love I bear you by stooping to—that! You really believed that I would sacrifice to you my home life, my honor, my prospects—all that a man can give—without testing the quality of your love! You did not know that I spoke to try you—you actually did not know! Eh, but yours is a light nature, Patricia! I do not reproach you, for you are only as your narrow Philistine44 life has made you. Yet I had hoped better things of you, Patricia. But you, who pretend to care for me, have leaped at your first opportunity to pain me—and, if it be any comfort to you, I confess you have pained me beyond words." And he sank down on the log, and buried his face in his hands.
She came to him—it was pitiable to see how she came to him, laughing and sobbing all in one breath—and knelt humbly45 by his side, and raised a grieved, shamed, penitent46 face to his.
"You have pained me beyond words, Patricia," he repeated. He was not angry—only sorrowful and very much hurt.
"Ah, Jack! dear Jack, forgive me!"
Mr. Charteris sighed. "But, of course, I forgive you, Patricia," he said. "I cannot help it, though, that I am foolishly sensitive where you are concerned. And I had hoped you knew as much."
She was happy now. "Dear boy," she murmured, "don't you see it's just these constant proofs of the greatness and the wonderfulness of your love—Really, though, Jack, wasn't it too horrid of me to misunderstand you so? Are you quite sure you're forgiven me entirely—without any nasty little reservations?"
Mr. Charteris was quite sure. His face was still sad, but it was benevolent48.
"Don't you see," she went on, "that it's just these things that make me care for you so much, and feel sure as eggs is eggs we will be happy? Ah, Jack, we will be so utterly happy that I am almost afraid to think of it!" Patricia wiped away the last tear, and laughed, and added, in a matter-of-fact fashion: "There's a train at six-five in the morning; we can leave by that, before anyone is up."
"Bah, I tell you, that was a comedy for my benefit," she protested, and began to laugh. Patricia was unutterably happy now, because she, and not John Charteris, had been in the wrong. "Poor Rudolph!—he has such a smug horror of the divorce-court that he would even go so far as to pretend to be in love with his own wife in order to keep out of it. Really, Jack, both our better-halves are horribly commonplace and they will be much better off without us."
"You forget that Rudolph has my word of honor," said Mr. Charteris, in indignation.
And that instant, with one of his baffling changes of mood, he began to laugh. "Really, though, Patricia, you are very pretty. You are April embodied51 in sweet flesh; your soul is just a wisp of April cloud, and your life an April day, half sun that only seems to warm, and half tempest that only plays at ferocity; but you are very pretty. That is why I am thinking, light-headedly, it would be a fine and past doubt an agreeable exploit to give up everything for such a woman, and am complacently52 comparing myself to Antony at Actium. I am thinking it would be an interesting episode in one's Life and Letters. You see, my dear, I honestly believe the world revolves53 around John Charteris—although of course I would never admit that to you if I thought for a moment you would take me seriously."
Then presently, sighing, he was grave again. "But, no! Rudolph has my word of honor," Mr. Charteris repeated, and with unconcealed regret.
"Ah, does that matter?" she cried. "Does anything matter, except that we love each other? I tell you I have given the best part of my life to that man, but I mean to make the most of what is left. He has had my youth, my love—there was a time, you know, when I actually fancied I cared for him—and he has only made me unhappy. I hate him, I loathe54 him, I detest55 him, I despise him! I never intend to speak to him again—oh, yes, I shall have to at supper, I suppose, but that doesn't count. And I tell you I mean to be happy in the only way that's possible. Everyone has a right to do that. A woman has an especial right to take her share of happiness in any way she can, because her hour of it is so short. Sometimes—sometimes the woman knows how short it is and it almost frightens her…. But at best, a woman can be really happy through love alone, Jack dear, and it's only when we are young and good to look at that men care for us; after that, there is nothing left but to take to either religion or hand-embroidery, so what does it matter, after all? Yes, they all grow tired after a while. Jack, I am only a vain and frivolous56 person of superlative charm, but I love you very much, my dear, and I solemnly swear to commit suicide the moment my first wrinkle arrives. You shall never grow tired of me, my dear."
She laughed to think how true this was.
She hurried on: "Jack, kneel down at once, and swear that you are perfectly sore with loving me, as that ridiculous person says in Dickens, and whose name I never could remember. Oh, I forgot—Dickens caricatures nature, doesn't he, and isn't read by really cultured people? You will have to educate me up to your level, Jack, and I warn you in advance you will not have time to do it. Yes, I am quite aware that I am talking nonsense, and am on the verge57 of hysterics, thank you, but I rather like it. It is because I am going to have you all to myself for whatever future there is, and the thought makes me quite drunk. Will you kindly58 ring for the patrol-wagon, Jack? Jack, are you quite sure you love me? Are you perfectly certain you never loved any one else half so much? No, don't answer me, for I intend to do all the talking for both of us for the future! I shall tyrannize over you frightfully, and you will like it. All I ask in return is that you will be a good boy—by which I mean a naughty boy—and do solemnly swear, promise and affirm that you will meet me at the side-door at half-past five in the morning, with a portmanteau and the intention of never going back to your wife. You swear it? Thank you so much! Now, I think I would like to cry for a few minutes, and, after that, we will go back to the house, before supper is over and my eyes are perfectly crimson59."
In fact, Mr. Charteris had consented. Patricia was irresistible60 as she pleaded and mocked and scolded and coaxed61 and laughed and cried, all in one bewildering breath. Her plan was simple; it was to slip out of Matocton at dawn, and walk to the near-by station. There they would take the train, and snap their fingers at convention. The scheme sounded preposterous62 in outline, but she demonstrated its practicability in performance. And Mr. Charteris consented.
Rudolph Musgrave sat in the shadow of the cedar with fierce and confused emotions whirling in his soul. He certainly had never thought of this contingency63.
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1
erratic
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| adj.古怪的，反复无常的，不稳定的 | |
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2
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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3
retraced
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| v.折回( retrace的过去式和过去分词 )；回忆；回顾；追溯 | |
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thicket
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| n.灌木丛，树林 | |
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cedar
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| n.雪松，香柏(木) | |
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converse
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| vi.谈话，谈天，闲聊；adv.相反的，相反 | |
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noted
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| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
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luminous
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| adj.发光的，发亮的；光明的；明白易懂的；有启发的 | |
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foam
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| v./n.泡沫，起泡沫 | |
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smear
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| v.涂抹；诽谤，玷污；n.污点；诽谤，污蔑 | |
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11
bleat
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| v.咩咩叫，(讲)废话，哭诉；n.咩咩叫，废话，哭诉 | |
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12
edifying
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| adj.有教训意味的，教训性的，有益的v.开导，启发( edify的现在分词 ) | |
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13
artistic
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| adj.艺术(家)的，美术(家)的；善于艺术创作的 | |
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temperament
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| n.气质，性格，性情 | |
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15
shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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16
immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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18
commendable
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| adj.值得称赞的 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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20
coerced
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| v.迫使做( coerce的过去式和过去分词 )；强迫；（以武力、惩罚、威胁等手段）控制；支配 | |
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21
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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sordid
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| adj.肮脏的，不干净的，卑鄙的，暗淡的 | |
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brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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owl
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| n.猫头鹰，枭 | |
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horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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grotesque
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| adj.怪诞的，丑陋的；n.怪诞的图案，怪人（物） | |
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abominably
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| adv. 可恶地，可恨地，恶劣地 | |
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desecration
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| n. 亵渎神圣, 污辱 | |
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29
lugged
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| vt.用力拖拉（lug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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prosaic
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| adj.单调的，无趣的 | |
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deprivations
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| 剥夺( deprivation的名词复数 )； 被夺去； 缺乏； 匮乏 | |
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32
relinquish
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| v.放弃，撤回，让与，放手 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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34
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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humdrum
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| adj.单调的，乏味的 | |
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nostrils
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| 鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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smote
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| v.猛打，重击，打击( smite的过去式 ) | |
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confidingly
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| adv.信任地 | |
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40
stiffened
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| 加强的 | |
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41
chilly
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| adj.凉快的，寒冷的 | |
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42
sobbing
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| <主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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43
explicit
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| adj.详述的，明确的；坦率的；显然的 | |
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44
philistine
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| n.庸俗的人；adj.市侩的，庸俗的 | |
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45
humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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46
penitent
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| adj.后悔的；n.后悔者；忏悔者 | |
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47
wailed
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| v.哭叫，哀号( wail的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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48
benevolent
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| adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的 | |
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49
reproof
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| n.斥责，责备 | |
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50
candidly
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| adv.坦率地，直率而诚恳地 | |
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51
embodied
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| v.表现( embody的过去式和过去分词 )；象征；包括；包含 | |
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52
complacently
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| adv. 满足地, 自满地, 沾沾自喜地 | |
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53
revolves
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| v.（使）旋转( revolve的第三人称单数 )；细想 | |
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54
loathe
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| v.厌恶，嫌恶 | |
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55
detest
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| vt.痛恨，憎恶 | |
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56
frivolous
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| adj.轻薄的；轻率的 | |
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57
verge
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| n.边，边缘；v.接近，濒临 | |
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58
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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59
crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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60
irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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61
coaxed
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| v.哄，用好话劝说( coax的过去式和过去分词 )；巧言骗取；哄劝，劝诱 | |
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62
preposterous
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| adj.荒谬的，可笑的 | |
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63
contingency
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| n.意外事件，可能性 | |
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