"'You can testify that I was never a coward. I fought a duel3 once, when I had to, like any other man. Just after I had left the School of Engineers, my workmen in Despenaperros revolted, and I fought them with stick and pistol until I made them submit. All my life long, in Jaen, in Madrid, and elsewhere, I have walked the streets at all hours, alone and unarmed, and if I have chanced to run upon suspicious-looking persons, thieves, or mere4 sneaking5 beggars, they have had to get out of my way or take to their heels. But if the person turned out to be a solitary6 woman, standing7 still or walking, and I was also alone, with no one in sight in any direction—then (laugh if you want to, but believe me) I would be all covered over with goose-flesh; vague fears would assail8 me; I would think about beings of the other world, about imaginary existences, and about all the superstitious9 stories which would make me laugh under other circumstances. I would quicken my pace, or else turn back, and would not get over my fright in the least until safe in my own house.
"'Once there I would fall a-laughing, and would be ashamed of my crazy fears. The only comfort I had was that nobody knew anything about it. Then I would dispassionately remind myself that I did not believe in goblins, witches, or ghosts, and that I had no reason whatever to be afraid of that wretched woman driven from her home at such an hour by poverty, or some crime, or accident, to whom I might better have offered help, if she needed it, or given alms. Nevertheless, the pitiable scene would be gone over again as often as a similar thing occurred—and remember that I was twenty-four years old, that I had experienced a great many adventures by night, and yet that I had never had the slightest difficulty of any sort with such solitary women in the streets after midnight! But nothing of what I have so far told you ever came to have any importance, since that irrational11 fear always left me as soon as I reached home, or saw any one else in the street, and I would scarcely recall it a few minutes afterwards, any more than one would recall a stupid mistake which had no result of any consequence.
"'Things were going on so, when, nearly three years ago (unhappily, I have good reason for knowing the date, it was the night of November 15-16, 1857), I was coming home at three in the morning. As you remember, I was living then in that little house in Jardines Street, near Montera Street. I had just come, at that late hour, a bitter, cold wind blowing at the time, out of a sort of a gambling-house—I tell you this, although I know it will surprise you. You know that I am not a gambler. I went into the place, deceived by an alleged12 friend. But the fact was, that as people began to drop in about midnight, coming from receptions or the theatre, the play began to be very heavy, and one saw the gleam of gold in plenty. Then came bank-bills and notes of hand. Little by little I was carried away by the feverish13 and seductive passion, and lost all the money I had. I even went away missing a second sum, for which I had left my note behind me. In short, I ruined myself completely; and but for the legacy14 that came to me afterwards, together with the good jobs I have had, my situation would have been extremely critical and painful.
"So I was going home, I say, at so late an hour that night, numb15 with the cold, hungry, ashamed, and disgusted as you can imagine, thinking about my sick old father more than about myself. I should have to write to him for money, and this would astonish as much as it would grieve him, since he thought me in very easy circumstances. Just before reaching my street, where it crosses Peligros Street, as I was walking in front of a newly-built house, I perceived something in its doorway16. It was a tall, large woman, standing stiff and motionless, as if made of wood. She seemed to be about sixty years old. Her wild and malignant17 eyes, unshaded by eyelashes, were fixed18 on mine like two daggers19. Her toothless mouth made a horrible grimace20 at me, meant to be a smile.
"The very terror or delirium21 of fear which instantly overcame me gave me somehow a most acute perception, so that I could distinguish at a glance, in the two seconds it took me to pass by that repugnant vision, the slightest details of her face and dress. Let me see if I can put together my impressions in the way and form in which I received them, as they were engraved22 ineffaceably on my brain in the light of the street-lamp which shone luridly23 over that ghastly scene. But I am exciting myself too much, though there is reason enough for it, as you will see further on. Don't be concerned, however, for the state of my mind. I am not yet crazy!
"'The first thing which struck me in that WOMAN, as I will call her, was her extreme height and the breadth of her bony shoulders. Then, the roundness and fixity of her dry, owl-eyes, the enormous size of her protruding24 nose, and the great dark cavern25 of her mouth. Finally, her dress, like that of a young woman of Avapies—the new little cotton handkerchief which she wore on her head, tied under her chin, and a diminutive26 fan which she carried open in her hand, and with which, in affected27 modesty28, she was covering the middle of her waist.
"'Nothing could be at the same time more ridiculous and more awful, more laughable and more taunting29, than that little fan in those huge hands. It seemed like a make-believe sceptre in the hands of such an old, hideous30, and bony giantess! A like effect was produced by the showy percale handkerchief adorning31 her face by the side of that cut-water nose, hooked and masculine; for a moment I was led to believe (or I was very glad to) that it was a man in disguise.
"'But her cynical32 glance and harsh smile were of a hag, of a witch, an enchantress, a Fate, a—I know not what! There was something about her to justify33 fully34 the aversion and fright which I had been caused all my life long by women walking alone in the streets at night. One would have said that I had had a presentiment35 of that encounter from my cradle. One would have said that I was frightened by it instinctively36, as every living being fears and divines, and scents37 and recognizes, its natural enemy before ever being injured by it, before ever having seen it, and solely38 on hearing its tread.
"'I did not dash away in a run when I saw my life's sphinx. I restrained my impulse to do so, less out of shame and manly39 pride than out of fear lest my very fright should reveal to her who I was, or should give her wings to follow me, to overtake me—I do not know what. Panic like that dreams of dangers which have neither form nor name.
"'My house was at the opposite end of the long and narrow street, in which I was alone, entirely40 alone with that mysterious phantom41 whom I thought able to annihilate42 me with a word. How should I ever get home? Oh, how anxiously I looked towards that distant Montera street, broad and well lighted, where there are policemen to be found at all hours! I decided43, finally, to get the better of my weakness; to dissemble and hide that wretched fear; not to hasten my pace, but to keep on advancing slowly, even at the cost of years of health or life, and in this way, little by little, to go on getting nearer to my house, exerting myself to the utmost not to fall fainting on the ground before I reached it.
"'I was walking along in this way—I must have taken about twenty steps after leaving behind me the doorway where the woman with the fan was hidden, when suddenly a horrible idea came to me—horrible, yet very natural nevertheless—the idea that I would look back to see if my enemy was following me. One thing or the other I thought, with the rapidity of a flash of lightning: either my alarm has some foundation or it is madness; if it has any foundation, this woman will have started after me, will be overtaking me, and there is no hope for me on earth. But if it is madness, a mere supposition, a panic fright like any other, I will convince myself of it in the present instance, and for every case that may occur hereafter, by seeing that that poor old woman has stayed in that doorway to protect herself from the cold, or to wait till the door is opened; and thereupon I can go on to my house in perfect tranquillity44, and I shall have cured myself of a fancy that causes me great mortification45.
"'This reasoning gone through with, I made an extraordinary effort and turned my head. Ah, Gabriel!—Gabriel! how fearful it was! The tall woman had followed me with silent tread, was right over me, almost touching46 me with her fan, almost leaning her head on my shoulder.
"'Why was she doing it?—why, my Gabriel? Was she a thief? Was she really a man in disguise? Was she some malicious47 old hag who had seen that I was afraid of her? Was she a spectre conjured48 up by my very cowardice49? Was she a mocking phantasm of human self-deception?
"'I could never tell you all I thought in a single moment. If the truth must be told, I gave a scream and flew away like a child of four years who thinks he sees the Black Man. I did not stop running until I got out into Montera Street. Once there, my fear left me like magic. This in spite of the fact that that street also was deserted50. Then I turned my head to look back to Jardines Street. I could see down its whole length. It was lighted well enough for me to see the tall woman, if she had drawn51 back in any direction, and, by Heaven! I could not see her, standing still, walking, or in any way! However, I was very careful not to go back into that street again. The wretch10, I said to myself, has slunk into some other doorway. But she can't move without my seeing her.
"'Just then I saw a policeman coming up Caballero de Gracia Street, and I shouted to him without stirring from my place. I told him that there was a man dressed as a woman in Jardines Street. I directed him to go round by the way of Peligros and Aduana Streets, while I would remain where I was, and in that way the fellow, who was probably a thief or murderer, could not escape us. The policeman did as I said. He went through Aduana Street, and as soon as I saw his lantern coming along Jardines Street I also went up it resolutely52.
"'We soon met at about the middle of the block, without either of us having encountered a soul, although we had examined door after door.
"'"He has got into some house," said the policeman.
"'"That must be so," I replied, opening my door with the fixed purpose of moving to some other street the next day.
"'A few moments later I was in my room; I always carried my latchkey, so as not to have to disturb my good Jose. Nevertheless, he was waiting for me that night. My misfortunes of the 15th and 16th of November were not yet ended.
"'"What has happened?" I asked him, in surprise.
"'"Major Falcon53 was here," he replied, with evident agitation54, "waiting for you from eleven till half-past two, and he told me that, if you came home to sleep, you had better not undress, as he would be back at daybreak."
"'Those words left me trembling with grief and alarm, as if they had predicted my own death to me. I knew that my beloved father, at his home in Jean, had been suffering frequent and dangerous attacks of his chronic55 disease. I had written to my brothers that, if there should be a sudden and fatal termination of the sickness, they were to telegraph Major Falcon, who would inform me in some suitable way. I had not the slightest doubt, therefore, that my father had died.
"'I sat down in an arm-chair to wait for the morning and my friend, and, with them, the news of my great misfortune. God only knows what I suffered in those two cruel hours of waiting. All the while, three distinct ideas were inseparably joined in my mind; though they seemed unlike, they took pains, as it were, to keep in a dreadful group. They were: my losses at play, my meeting with the tall woman, and the death of my revered56 father.
"'Precisely57 at six Major Falcon came into my room, and looked at me in silence. I threw myself into his arms, weeping bitterly, and he exclaimed, caressing58 me:
"'"Yes, my dear fellow, weep, weep."'"
点击收听单词发音
1 inborn | |
adj.天生的,生来的,先天的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
2 fatality | |
n.不幸,灾祸,天命 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
3 duel | |
n./v.决斗;(双方的)斗争 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
4 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
5 sneaking | |
a.秘密的,不公开的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
6 solitary | |
adj.孤独的,独立的,荒凉的;n.隐士 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
7 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
8 assail | |
v.猛烈攻击,抨击,痛斥 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
9 superstitious | |
adj.迷信的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
10 wretch | |
n.可怜的人,不幸的人;卑鄙的人 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
11 irrational | |
adj.无理性的,失去理性的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
12 alleged | |
a.被指控的,嫌疑的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
13 feverish | |
adj.发烧的,狂热的,兴奋的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
14 legacy | |
n.遗产,遗赠;先人(或过去)留下的东西 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
15 numb | |
adj.麻木的,失去感觉的;v.使麻木 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
16 doorway | |
n.门口,(喻)入门;门路,途径 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
17 malignant | |
adj.恶性的,致命的;恶意的,恶毒的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
18 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
19 daggers | |
匕首,短剑( dagger的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
20 grimace | |
v.做鬼脸,面部歪扭 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
21 delirium | |
n. 神智昏迷,说胡话;极度兴奋 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
22 engraved | |
v.在(硬物)上雕刻(字,画等)( engrave的过去式和过去分词 );将某事物深深印在(记忆或头脑中) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
23 luridly | |
adv. 青灰色的(苍白的, 深浓色的, 火焰等火红的) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
24 protruding | |
v.(使某物)伸出,(使某物)突出( protrude的现在分词 );凸 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
25 cavern | |
n.洞穴,大山洞 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
26 diminutive | |
adj.小巧可爱的,小的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
27 affected | |
adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
28 modesty | |
n.谦逊,虚心,端庄,稳重,羞怯,朴素 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
29 taunting | |
嘲讽( taunt的现在分词 ); 嘲弄; 辱骂; 奚落 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
30 hideous | |
adj.丑陋的,可憎的,可怕的,恐怖的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
31 adorning | |
修饰,装饰物 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
32 cynical | |
adj.(对人性或动机)怀疑的,不信世道向善的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
33 justify | |
vt.证明…正当(或有理),为…辩护 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
34 fully | |
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
35 presentiment | |
n.预感,预觉 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
36 instinctively | |
adv.本能地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
37 scents | |
n.香水( scent的名词复数 );气味;(动物的)臭迹;(尤指狗的)嗅觉 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
38 solely | |
adv.仅仅,唯一地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
39 manly | |
adj.有男子气概的;adv.男子般地,果断地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
40 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
41 phantom | |
n.幻影,虚位,幽灵;adj.错觉的,幻影的,幽灵的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
42 annihilate | |
v.使无效;毁灭;取消 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
43 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
44 tranquillity | |
n. 平静, 安静 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
45 mortification | |
n.耻辱,屈辱 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
46 touching | |
adj.动人的,使人感伤的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
47 malicious | |
adj.有恶意的,心怀恶意的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
48 conjured | |
用魔术变出( conjure的过去式和过去分词 ); 祈求,恳求; 变戏法; (变魔术般地) 使…出现 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
49 cowardice | |
n.胆小,怯懦 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
50 deserted | |
adj.荒芜的,荒废的,无人的,被遗弃的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
51 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
52 resolutely | |
adj.坚决地,果断地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
53 falcon | |
n.隼,猎鹰 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
54 agitation | |
n.搅动;搅拌;鼓动,煽动 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
55 chronic | |
adj.(疾病)长期未愈的,慢性的;极坏的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
56 revered | |
v.崇敬,尊崇,敬畏( revere的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
57 precisely | |
adv.恰好,正好,精确地,细致地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
58 caressing | |
爱抚的,表现爱情的,亲切的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
欢迎访问英文小说网 |