He found the shop closed, and knocked again and again, not without astonishment18 and apprehension19, for it was not a holiday; but nobody came. He called his father, but in vain. He went to a neighbor’s to ask what had happened; instead of replying, the neighbor turned away, as though not wishing to recognize him. Croisilles repeated his questions; he learned that his father, his affairs having long been in an embarrassed condition, had just become bankrupt, and had fled to America, abandoning to his creditors20 all that he possessed21.
Not realizing as yet the extent of his misfortune, Croisilles felt overwhelmed by the thought that he might never again see his father. It seemed to him incredible that he should be thus suddenly abandoned; he tried to force an entrance into the store; but was given to understand that the official seals had been affixed22; so he sat down on a stone, and giving way to his grief, began to weep piteously, deaf to the consolations24 of those around him, never ceasing to call his father’s name, though he knew him to be already far away. At last he rose, ashamed at seeing a crowd about him, and, in the most profound despair, turned his steps towards the harbor.
On reaching the pier25, he walked straight before him like a man in a trance, who knows neither where he is going nor what is to become of him. He saw himself irretrievably lost, possessing no longer a shelter, no means of rescue and, of course, no longer any friends. Alone, wandering on the sea-shore, he felt tempted26 to drown himself, then and there. Just at the moment when, yielding to this thought, he was advancing to the edge of a high cliff, an old servant named Jean, who had served his family for a number of years, arrived on the scene.
“Ah! my poor Jean!” he exclaimed, “you know all that has happened since I went away. Is it possible that my father could leave us without warning, without farewell?”
“He is gone,” answered Jean, “but indeed not without saying good-bye to you.”
At the same time he drew from his pocket a letter, which he gave to his young master. Croisilles recognized the handwriting of his father, and, before opening the letter, kissed it rapturously; but it contained only a few words. Instead of feeling his trouble softened27, it seemed to the young man still harder to bear. Honorable until then, and known as such, the old gentleman, ruined by an unforeseen disaster (the bankruptcy28 of a partner), had left for his son nothing but a few commonplace words of consolation23, and no hope, except, perhaps, that vague hope without aim or reason which constitutes, it is said, the last possession one loses.
“Jean, my friend, you carried me in your arms,” said Croisilles, when he had read the letter, “and you certainly are to-day the only being who loves me at all; it is a very sweet thing to me, but a very sad one for you; for, as sure as my father embarked there, I will throw myself into the same sea which is bearing him away; not before you nor at once, but some day I will do it, for I am lost.”
“What can you do?” replied Jean, not seeming to have understood, but holding fast to the skirt of Croisilles’ coat; “What can you do, my dear master? Your father was deceived; he was expecting money which did not come, and it was no small amount either. Could he stay here? I have seen him, sir, as he made his fortune, during the thirty years that I served him. I have seen him working, attending to his business, the crown-pieces coming in one by one. He was an honorable man, and skilful29; they took a cruel advantage of him. Within the last few days, I was still there, and as fast as the crowns came in, I saw them go out of the shop again. Your father paid all he could, for a whole day, and, when his desk was empty, he could not help telling me, pointing to a drawer where but six francs remained: ‘There were a hundred thousand francs there this morning!’ That does not look like a rascally30 failure, sir? There is nothing in it that can dishonor you.”
“I have no more doubt of my father’s integrity,” answered Croisilles, “than I have of his misfortune. Neither do I doubt his affection. But I wish I could have kissed him, for what is to become of me? I am not accustomed to poverty, I have not the necessary cleverness to build up my fortune. And, if I had it, my father is gone. It took him thirty years, how long would it take me to repair this disaster? Much longer. And will he be living then? Certainly not; he will die over there, and I cannot even go and find him; I can join him only by dying.”
Utterly31 distressed32 as Croisilles was, he possessed much religious feeling. Although his despondency made him wish for death, he hesitated to take his life. At the first words of this interview, he had taken hold of old Jean’s arm, and thus both returned to the town. When they had entered the streets and the sea was no longer so near:
“It seems to me, sir,” said Jean, “that a good man has a right to live and that a misfortune proves nothing. Since your father has not killed himself, thank God, how can you think of dying? Since there is no dishonor in his case, and all the town knows it is so, what would they think of you? That you felt unable to endure poverty. It would be neither brave nor Christian; for, at the very worst, what is there to frighten you? There are plenty of people born poor, and who have never had either mother or father to help them on. I know that we are not all alike, but, after all, nothing is impossible to God. What would you do in such a case? Your father was not born rich, far from it,—meaning no offence—and that is perhaps what consoles him now. If you had been here, this last month, it would have given you courage. Yes, sir, a man may be ruined, nobody is secure from bankruptcy; but your father, I make bold to say, has borne himself through it all like a man, though he did leave us so hastily. But what could he do? It is not every day that a vessel33 starts for America. I accompanied him to the wharf34, and if you had seen how sad he was! How he charged me to take care of you; to send him news from you!—Sir, it is a right poor idea you have, that throwing the helve after the hatchet35. Every one has his time of trial in this world, and I was a soldier before I was a servant. I suffered severely36 at the time, but I was young; I was of your age, sir, and it seemed to me that Providence37 could not have spoken His last word to a young man of twenty-five. Why do you wish to prevent the kind God from repairing the evil that has befallen you? Give Him time, and all will come right. If I might advise you, I would say, just wait two or three years, and I will answer for it, you will come out all right. It is always easy to go out of this world. Why will you seize an unlucky moment?”
While Jean was thus exerting himself to persuade his master, the latter walked in silence, and, as those who suffer often do, was looking this way and that as though seeking for something which might bind38 him to life. As chance would have it, at this juncture39, Mademoiselle Godeau, the daughter of the fermier-général, happened to pass with her governess. The mansion40 in which she lived was not far distant; Croisilles saw her enter it. This meeting produced on him more effect than all the reasonings in the world. I have said that he was rather erratic41, and nearly always yielded to the first impulse. Without hesitating an instant, and without explanation, he suddenly left the arm of his old servant, and crossing the street, knocked at Monsieur Godeau’s door.
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1
reign
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| n.统治时期，统治，支配，盛行；v.占优势 | |
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2
gaily
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| adv.欢乐地，高兴地 | |
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3
wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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awry
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| adj.扭曲的，错的 | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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6
plundering
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| 掠夺，抢劫( plunder的现在分词 ) | |
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7
madrigal
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| n.牧歌；（流行于16和17世纪无乐器伴奏的）合唱歌曲 | |
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8
jewelry
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| n.（jewllery）（总称）珠宝 | |
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9
avenged
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| v.为…复仇，报…之仇( avenge的过去式和过去分词 )；为…报复 | |
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arrogance
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| n.傲慢，自大 | |
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stigma
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| n.耻辱，污名；(花的)柱头 | |
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12
vexed
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| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
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13
invincible
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| adj.不可征服的，难以制服的 | |
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14
Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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15
embarked
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| 乘船( embark的过去式和过去分词 )； 装载； 从事 | |
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16
ashore
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| adv.在(向)岸上，上岸 | |
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17
paternal
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| adj.父亲的，像父亲的，父系的，父方的 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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19
apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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20
creditors
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| n.债权人，债主( creditor的名词复数 ) | |
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21
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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22
affixed
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| adj.[医]附着的，附着的v.附加( affix的过去式和过去分词 )；粘贴；加以；盖（印章） | |
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23
consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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24
consolations
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| n.安慰，慰问( consolation的名词复数 )；起安慰作用的人（或事物） | |
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25
pier
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| n.码头；桥墩，桥柱；[建]窗间壁，支柱 | |
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26
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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27
softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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28
bankruptcy
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| n.破产；无偿付能力 | |
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29
skilful
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| (=skillful)adj.灵巧的，熟练的 | |
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30
rascally
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| adj. 无赖的，恶棍的 adv. 无赖地，卑鄙地 | |
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31
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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32
distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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33
vessel
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| n.船舶；容器，器皿；管，导管，血管 | |
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34
wharf
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| n.码头，停泊处 | |
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35
hatchet
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| n.短柄小斧；v.扼杀 | |
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36
severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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38
bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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39
juncture
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| n.时刻，关键时刻，紧要关头 | |
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40
mansion
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| n.大厦，大楼；宅第 | |
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41
erratic
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| adj.古怪的，反复无常的，不稳定的 | |
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