There are pauses in every life; seasons of thought after outward experiences, when the soul questions, balances, and adjusts its emotions; weighs each act, condemns1 and justifies2 self in one breath, then throws itself hopefully into the future to await the incoming tide, whether of joy or sorrow it knows not.
In such a state Florence Vernon found herself a few days after her visit to Miss Evans. She thought when with her that no doubt could ever shadow her heart again; but fears had crept over her, even though she desired to be firm.
"Shall I stay and trust his nature, or go away and take up my old life, and be again desolate3 and lonely? Which?" She kept asking this again and again to herself. "I have been so happy here; but, if I go, it must be before he returns. No! I will not. I will stay and brave the talk, and-"
"Miss Vernon, please come down, papa has come!
"O, why did he come so soon? How I dread4 to meet him," were the words that Florence found springing to her lips; but not hearing his voice, she thought that Dawn must have been only in jest.
She listened again. Yes, Mr. Wyman was talking to Dawn in the hall. She sat very still, and soon heard them both go into the garden; then all was still. Again alone, she tried to analyze5 her emotions, and see whether her deepest feeling was that of peace and rest, the same she felt when she first entered the home of Mr. Wyman. It was there, as it had been, but so agitated6 that the effort to ascertain7 its presence gave back no deep trust to her questioning heart. The bell rang for tea. She would gladly have stayed away, but could fame no excuse, and after bathing her eyes, which were red and swollen8, she went slowly down stairs.
"I suppose you are surprised, Florence, among the rest, at my unexpected presence. I did not myself expect to be at home so soon, but meeting one of the firm with whom my business was connected, I was but too glad to adjust it and return at once. I have felt very weary, too, since the first day I left home, as though some cloud was hanging over my home. My first thought was of Dawn, but her rosy9, happy face soon put to flight the apprehensions10 I had for her; yet you, Florence, are not looking well; are you ill?"
"I am quite well, thank you."
He looked deeper than her words, and saw within a tumult11 of emotions. He did not notice her farther, but talked with Dawn during the remainder of the meal, and when they were through went alone to walk.
"He shuns12 me," she said, as she went into her room and sat down, sad and dejected, "what but wrong can make him appear so? But I will not leave it thus. I will know from him to-night whether these reports are true, and then if true, leave here forever. Happiness, like that I have experienced the past few months is too great to last."
He sat alone in the library; she rapped softly at his door.
"Come in," he said kindly13, and rose to meet her as she entered.
She motioned him back to his seat. "Stay, do not rise," was all she could say, and fell at his feet.
He lifted her gently, as a mother might have raised a weary child, and placed her beside him. Then, taking her hand, cold with excitement, in his own, said,--
"I knew, Florence, by my depression, that your grief called me home. Some slander14 has reached your ears. Is it not so?"
"It is. I have trusted and doubted, until I scarce know my own mind."
"Do you feel most at rest when you trust me?"
"I think-yes, I know I do. Forgive me," she continued, "if these shadows had not fallen so suddenly on my path, I never should for a moment have lost my trust in you. I have been shaken, convulsed, and scarce know my best thoughts."
"You have, indeed. I know not who have thus disturbed you, but may they never suffer as we both have, and more especially yourself. I say I know not, and yet my suspicions may not be entirely15 without foundation. And now remember, Florence, the moment you feel that I am not what your ideal of a friend and brother should be, that moment we had better part."
She started, and grew pale.
"I do not allude16 to the present, or to the scandal which has unnerved and disturbed your state; nor can I expect you who are learning to trust impressions rather than experiences, to feel otherwise than you have. It was natural. I only wonder that you did not go at once. Your remaining has shown me your worth, and a trait of character which I admire. Now that the ordeal17 is passed, I shall feel that you are my friend, even though slander, vile18 and dark, may be hurled19 against me, as it is possible, for I have a battle to fight for you, my friend, and all womankind. The rights of woman, which have been ignored, or thought but lightly of, I shall strongly advocate, as opportunity occurs. I shall be misunderstood, over and underrated in the contest, but for that I care not. I only am too impatient to see the day when your sex shall not marry for mere20 shelter, and when labor21 of all kinds shall be open for their heads and hands, with remuneration commensurate with their efforts. I am anxiously looking for the time when their right to vote shall be admitted them, not grudgingly22, but freely and willingly given; for is not woman God's highest work, and his best gift to man? Now, if the shadows come again, in shape of scandal, think you, you can trust me?"
"I can. I do, and can never doubt again. Forgive the past. I was weak-"
"There is nothing to forgive," said Mr. Wyman, as he leaned over and kissed her forehead.
The seal of brotherhood23 was set, and Hugh and Florence knew from that hour the bond which bound them, and that it was pure and spotless.
收听单词发音 |
1
condemns
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| v.（通常因道义上的原因而）谴责( condemn的第三人称单数 )；宣判；宣布…不能使用；迫使…陷于不幸的境地 | |
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justifies
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| 证明…有理( justify的第三人称单数 )； 为…辩护； 对…作出解释； 为…辩解（或辩护） | |
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3
desolate
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| adj.荒凉的，荒芜的；孤独的，凄凉的；v.使荒芜，使孤寂 | |
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dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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analyze
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| vt.分析，解析 (=analyse) | |
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agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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7
ascertain
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| vt.发现，确定，查明，弄清 | |
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swollen
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| adj.肿大的，水涨的；v.使变大，肿胀 | |
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rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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apprehensions
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| 疑惧 | |
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tumult
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| n.喧哗；激动，混乱；吵闹 | |
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shuns
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| v.避开，回避，避免( shun的第三人称单数 ) | |
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13
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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14
slander
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| n./v.诽谤，污蔑 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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allude
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| v.提及，暗指 | |
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ordeal
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| n.苦难经历，（尤指对品格、耐力的）严峻考验 | |
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vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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hurled
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| v.猛投，用力掷( hurl的过去式和过去分词 )；大声叫骂 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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labor
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| n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦 | |
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grudgingly
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brotherhood
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| n.兄弟般的关系，手中情谊 | |
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