'I don't expect to hear from Emil yet, and Nat writes regularly, butwhere is Dan? Only two or three postals since he went. Such anenergetic fellow as he is could buy up all the farms in Kansas bythis time,' said Mrs Jo one morning when the mail came in and no cardor envelope bore Dan's dashing hand.
'He never writes often, you know, but does his work and then comeshome. Months and years seem to mean little to him, and he is probablyprospecting in the wilderness1, forgetful of time,' answered Mr Bhaer,deep in one of Nat's long letters from Leipzig.
'But he promised he would let me know how he got on, and Dan keepshis word if he can. I'm afraid something has happened to him'; andMrs Jo comforted herself by patting Don's head, as he came at thesound of his master's name to look at her with eyes almost human intheir wistful intelligence.
'Don't worry, Mum dear, nothing ever happens to the old fellow.
He'll turn up all right, and come stalking in some day with agold-mine in one pocket and a prairie in the other, as jolly as agrig,' said Ted2, who was in no haste to deliver Octoo to her rightfulowner.
'Perhaps he has gone to Montana and given up the farm plan. He seemedto like Indians best, I thought'; and Rob went to help his motherwith her pile of letters and his cheerful suggestions.
'I hope so, it would suit him best. But I am sure he would have toldus his change of plan and sent for some money to work with. No, Ifeel in my prophetic bones that something is wrong,' said Mrs Jo,looking as solemn as Fate in a breakfast-cap.
'Then we shall hear; ill news always travels fast. Don't borrowtrouble, Jo, but hear how well Nat is getting on. I'd no idea the boywould care for anything but music. My good friend Baumgarten haslaunched him well, and it will do him good if he lose not his head. Agood lad, but new to the world, and Leipzig is full of snares3 for theunwary. Gott be with him!'
The Professor read Nat's enthusiastic account of certain literary andmusical parties he had been to, the splendours of the opera, thekindness of his new friends, the delight of studying under such amaster as Bergmann, his hopes of rapid gain, and his great gratitudeto those who had opened this enchanted4 world to him.
'That, now, is satisfactory and comfortable. I felt that Nat hadunsuspected power in him before he went away; he was so manly5 andfull of excellent plans,' said Mrs Jo, in a satisfied tone.
'We shall see. He will doubtless get his lesson and be the better forit. That comes to us all in our young days. I hope it will not be toohard for our good Jungling,' answered the Professor, with a wisesmile, remembering his own student life in Germany.
He was right; and Nat was already getting his lesson in life with arapidity which would have astonished his friends at home. Themanliness over which Mrs Jo rejoiced was developing in unexpectedways, and quiet Nat had plunged6 into the more harmless dissipationsof the gay city with all the ardour of an inexperienced youth takinghis first sip7 of pleasure. The entire freedom and sense ofindependence was delicious, for many benefits began to burden him,and he longed to stand on his own legs and make his own way. No oneknew his past here; and with a well-stocked wardrobe, a handsome sumat his banker's, and the best teacher in Leipzig, he made his debutas a musical young gentleman, presented by the much-respectedProfessor Bhaer and the wealthy Mr Laurence, who had many friendsglad to throw open their houses to his protege. Thanks to theseintroductions, his fluent German, modest manners, and undeniabletalent, the stranger was cordially welcomed, and launched at onceinto a circle which many an ambitious young man strove in vain toenter.
All this rather turned Nat's head; and as he sat in the brilliantopera-house, chatted among the ladies at some select coffee-party, orwhisked an eminent8 professor's amiable9 daughter down the room, tryingto imagine she was Daisy, he often asked himself if this gay fellowcould be the poor homeless little Street musician who once stoodwaiting in the rain at the gates of Plumfield. His heart was true,his impulses good, and his ambitions high; but the weak side of hisnature came uppermost here; vanity led him astray, pleasureintoxicated him, and for a time he forgot everything but the delightsof this new and charming life. Without meaning to deceive, he allowedpeople to imagine him a youth of good family and prospects10; heboasted a little of Mr Laurie's wealth and influence, of ProfessorBhaer's eminence11, and the flourishing college at which he himself hadbeen educated. Mrs Jo was introduced to the sentimental12 Frauleins whoread her books, and the charms and virtues13 of his own dear Madchenconfided to sympathetic mammas. All these boyish boastings andinnocent vanities were duly circulated among the gossips, and hisimportance much increased thereby15, to his surprise and gratification,as well as some shame.
But they bore fruit that was bitter in the end; for, finding that hewas considered one of the upper class, it very soon became impossiblefor him to live in the humble16 quarters he had chosen, or to lead thestudious, quiet life planned for him. He met other students, youngofficers, and gay fellows of all sorts, and was flattered at beingwelcomed among them; though it was a costly17 pleasure, and often lefta thorn of regret to vex18 his honest conscience. He was tempted19 totake better rooms in a more fashionable street, leaving good FrauTetzel to lament20 his loss, and his artist neighbour, FrauleinVogelstein, to shake her grey ringlets and predict his return, asadder and a wiser man.
The sum placed at his disposal for expenses and such simple pleasuresas his busy life could command seemed a fortune to Nat, though it wassmaller than generous Mr Laurie first proposed. Professor Bhaerwisely counselled prudence21, as Nat was unused to the care of money,and the good man knew the temptations that a well-filled purse makespossible at this pleasure-loving age. So Nat enjoyed his handsomelittle apartment immensely, and insensibly let many unaccustomedluxuries creep in. He loved his music and never missed a lesson; butthe hours he should have spent in patient practice were too oftenwasted at theatre, ball, beer-garden, or club--doing no harm beyondthat waste of precious time, and money not his own; for he had novices22, and took his recreation like a gentleman, so far. But slowly achange for the worse was beginning to show itself, and he felt it.
These first steps along the flowery road were downward, not upward;and the constant sense of disloyalty which soon began to haunt himmade Nat feel, in the few quiet hours he gave himself, that all wasnot well with him, spite of the happy whirl in which he lived.
'Another month, and then I will be steady,' he said more than once,trying to excuse the delay by the fact that all was new to him, thathis friends at home wished him to be happy, and that society wasgiving him the polish he needed. But as each month slipped away itgrew harder to escape; he was inevitably23 drawn24 on, and it was so easyto drift with the tide that he deferred25 the evil day as long aspossible. Winter festivities followed the more wholesome26 summerpleasures, and Nat found them more costly; for the hospitable27 ladiesexpected some return from the stranger; and carriages, bouquets,theatre tickets, and all the little expenses a young man cannotescape at such times, told heavily on the purse which seemedbottomless at first. Taking Mr Laurie for his model, Nat became quitea gallant28, and was universally liked; for through all the newlyacquired airs and graces the genuine honesty and simplicity29 of hischaracter plainly shone, winning confidence and affection from allwho knew him.
Among these was a certain amiable old lady with a musicaldaughter--well-born but poor, and very anxious to marry the aforesaiddaughter to some wealthy man. Nat's little fictions concerning hisprospects and friends charmed the gnadige Frau as much as his musicand devoted30 manners did the sentimental Minna. Their quiet parlourseemed homelike and restful to Nat, when tired of gayer scenes; andthe motherly interest of the elder lady was sweet and comfortable tohim; while the tender blue eyes of the pretty girl were always sofull of welcome when he came, of regret when he left, and ofadmiration when he played to her, that he found it impossible to keepaway from this attractive spot. He meant no harm, and feared nodanger, having confided14 to the Frau Mamma that he was betrothed31; sohe continued to call, little dreaming what ambitious hopes the oldlady cherished, nor the peril32 there was in receiving the adoration33 ofa romantic German girl, till it was too late to spare her pain andhimself great regret.
Of course some inkling of these new and agreeable experiences gotinto the voluminous letters he never was too gay, too busy, or tootired to write each week; and while Daisy rejoiced over his happinessand success, and the boys laughed at the idea of 'old Chirper34 comingout as a society man', the elders looked sober, and said amongthemselves:
'He is going too fast; he must have a word of warning, or trouble maycome.'
But Mr Laurie said: 'Oh, let him have his fling; he's been dependentand repressed long enough. He can't go far with the money he has, andI've no fear of his getting into debt. He's too timid and too honestto be reckless. It is his first taste of freedom; let him enjoy it,and he'll work the better by and by; I know--and I'm sure I'm right.'
So the warnings were very gentle, and the good people waitedanxiously to hear more of hard study, and less of 'splendid times'.
Daisy sometimes wondered, with a pang35 of her faithful heart, if oneof the charming Minnas, Hildegardes, and Lottchens mentioned were notstealing her Nat away from her; but she never asked, always wrotecalmly and cheerfully, and looked in vain for any hint of change inthe letters that were worn out with much reading.
Month after month slipped away, till the holidays came with gifts,good wishes, and brilliant festivities. Nat expected to enjoy himselfvery much, and did at first; for a German Christmas is a spectacleworth seeing. But he paid dearly for the abandon with which he threwhimself into the gaieties of that memorable36 week; and on New Year'sDay the reckoning came. It seemed as if some malicious37 fairy hadprepared the surprises that arrived, so unwelcome were they, somagical the change they wrought38, turning his happy world into a sceneof desolation and despair as suddenly as a transformation39 at thepantomime.
The first came in the morning when, duly armed with costly bouquetsand bon-bons, he went to thank Minna and her mother for the bracesembroidered with forget-me-nots and the silk socks knit by the oldlady's nimble fingers, which he had found upon his table that day.
The Frau Mamma received him graciously; but when he asked for thedaughter the good lady frankly40 demanded what his intentions were,adding that certain gossip which had reached her ear made itnecessary for him to declare himself or come no more, as Minna'speace must not be compromised.
A more panic-stricken youth was seldom seen than Nat as he receivedthis unexpected demand. He saw too late that his American style ofgallantry had deceived the artless girl, and might be used withterrible effect by the artful mother, if she chose to do it. Nothingbut the truth could save him, and he had the honour and honesty totell it faithfully. A sad scene followed; for Nat was obliged tostrip off his fictitious41 splendour, confess himself only a poorstudent, and humbly42 ask pardon for the thoughtless freedom with whichhe had enjoyed their too confiding43 hospitality. If he had any doubtsof Frau Schomburg's motives44 and desires, they were speedily set atrest by the frankness with which she showed her disappointment, thevigour with which she scolded him, and the scorn with which she casthim off when her splendid castles in the air collapsed45.
The sincerity46 of Nat's penitence47 softened48 her a little and sheconsented to a farewell word with Minna, who had listened at thekeyhole, and was produced drenched49 in tears, to fall on Nat's bosom,crying: 'Ah, thou dear one, never can I forget thee, though my heartis broken!'
This was worse than the scolding; for the stout50 lady also wept, andit was only after much German gush51 and twaddle that he escaped,feeling like another Werther; while the deserted52 Lotte consoledherself with the bonbons53, her mother with the more valuable gifts.
The second surprise arrived as he dined with Professor Baumgarten.
His appetite had been effectually taken away by the scene of themorning, and his spirits received another damper when a fellowstudent cheerfully informed him that he was about to go to America,and should make it his agreeable duty to call on the 'lieber HerrProfessor Bhaer', to tell him how gaily54 his protege was disportinghimself at Leipzig. Nat's heart died within him as he imagined theeffect these glowing tales would have at Plumfield--not that he hadwilfully deceived them, but in his letters many things were leftuntold; and when Carlsen added, with a friendly wink55, that he wouldmerely hint at the coming betrothal56 of the fair Minna and his'heart's friend', Nat found himself devoutly57 hoping that this otherinconvenient heart's friend might go to the bottom of the sea beforehe reached Plumfield to blast all his hopes by these tales of amis-spent winter. Collecting his wits, he cautioned Carlsen with whathe flattered himself was Mephistophelian art, and gave him suchconfused directions that it would be a miracle if he ever foundProfessor Bhaer. But the dinner was spoilt for Nat, and he got awayas soon as possible, to wander disconsolately58 about the streets, withno heart for the theatre or the supper he was to share with some gaycomrades afterwards. He comforted himself a little by giving alms tosundry beggars, making two children happy with gilded60 gingerbread,and drinking a lonely glass of beer, in which he toasted his Daisyand wished himself a better year than the last had been.
Going home at length, he found a third surprise awaiting him in theshower of bills which had descended61 upon him like a snowstorm,burying him in an avalanche62 of remorse63, despair, and self-disgust.
These bills were so many and so large that he was startled anddismayed; for, as Mr Bhaer wisely predicted, he knew little about thevalue of money. It would take every dollar at the bankers to pay themall at once, and leave him penniless for the next six months, unlesshe wrote home for more. He would rather starve than do that; and hisfirst impulse was to seek help at the gaming-table, whither his newfriends had often tempted him. But he had promised Mr Bhaer to resistwhat then had seemed an impossible temptation; and now he would notadd another fault to the list already so long. Borrow he would not,nor beg. What could he do? For these appalling64 bills must be paid,and the lessons go on; or his journey was an ignominious65 failure. Buthe must live meantime. And how? Bowed down with remorse for the follyof these months, he saw too late whither he was drifting, and forhours paced up and down his pretty rooms, floundering in a Slough67 ofDespond, with no helping68 hand to pull him out--at least he thought sotill letters were brought in, and among fresh bills lay one well-wornenvelope with an American stamp in the corner.
Ah, how welcome it was! how eagerly he read the long pages full ofaffectionate wishes from all at home! For everyone had sent a line,and as each familiar name appeared, his eyes grew dimmer and dimmertill, as he read the last--'God bless my boy! Mother Bhaer'--he brokedown; and laying his head on his arms, blistered69 the paper with arain of tears that eased his heart and washed away the boyish sinsthat now lay so heavy on his conscience.
'Dear people, how they love and trust me! And how bitterly they wouldbe disappointed if they knew what a fool I've been! I'll fiddle70 inthe streets again before I'll ask for help from them!' cried Nat,brushing away the tears of which he was ashamed, although he felt thegood they had done.
Now he seemed to see more clearly what to do; for the helping handhad been stretched across the sea, and Love, the dear Evangelist, hadlifted him out of the slough and shown him the narrow gate, beyondwhich deliverance lay. When the letter had been reread, and onecorner where a daisy was painted, passionately71 kissed, Nat feltstrong enough to face the worst and conquer it. Every bill should bepaid, every salable72 thing of his own sold, these costly rooms givenup; and once back with thrifty73 Frau Tetzel, he would find work ofsome sort by which to support himself, as many another student did.
He must give up the new friends, turn his back on the gay life, ceaseto be a butterfly, and take his place among the grubs. It was theonly honest thing to do, but very hard for the poor fellow to crushhis little vanities, renounce74 the delights so dear to the young, ownhis folly66, and step down from his pedestal to be pitied, laughed at,and forgotten.
It took all Nat's pride and courage to do this, for his was asensitive nature; esteem75 was very precious to him, failure verybitter, and nothing but the inborn76 contempt for meanness and deceitkept him from asking help or trying to hide his need by somedishonest device. As he sat alone that night, Mr Bhaer's words cameback to him with curious clearness, and he saw himself a boy again atPlumfield, punishing his teacher as a lesson to himself, whentimidity had made him lie.
'He shall not suffer for me again, and I won't be a sneak77 if I am afool. I'll go and tell Professor Baumgarten all about it and ask hisadvice. I'd rather face a loaded cannon78; but it must be done. ThenI'll sell out, pay my debts, and go back where I belong. Better be anhonest pauper79 than a jackdaw among peacocks'; and Nat smiled in themidst of his trouble, as he looked about him at the little eleganciesof his room, remembering what he came from.
He kept his word manfully, and was much comforted to find that hisexperience was an old story to the professor, who approved his plan,thinking wisely that the discipline would be good for him, and wasvery kind in offering help and promising80 to keep the secret of hisfolly from his friend Bhaer till Nat had redeemed81 himself.
The first week of the new year was spent by our prodigal82 in carryingout his plan with penitent83 dispatch, and his birthday found him alonein the little room high up at Frau Tetzel's, with nothing of hisformer splendour, but sundry59 unsalable keepsakes from the buxommaidens, who mourned his absence deeply. His male friends hadridiculed, pitied, and soon left him alone, with one or twoexceptions, who offered their purses generously and promised to standby him. He was lonely and heavy-hearted, and sat brooding over hissmall fire as he remembered the last New Year's Day at Plumfield,when at this hour he was dancing with his Daisy.
A tap at the door roused him, and with a careless 'Herein', he waitedto see who had climbed so far for his sake. It was the good Frauproudly bearing a tray, on which stood a bottle of wine and anastonishing cake bedecked with sugar-plums of every hue84, and crownedwith candles. Fraulein Vogelstein followed, embracing a bloomingrose-tree, above which her grey curls waved and her friendly facebeamed joyfully85 as she cried:
'Dear Herr Blak, we bring you greetings and a little gift or two inhonour of this ever-to-be-remembered day. Best wishes! and may thenew year bloom for you as beautifully as we your heart-warm friendsdesire.'
'Yes, yes, in truth we do, dear Herr,' added Frau Tetzel. 'Eat ofthis with-joy-made Kuchen, and drink to the health of the far-awaybeloved ones in the good wine.'
Amused, yet touched by the kindness of the good souls, Nat thankedthem both, and made them stay to enjoy the humble feast with him.
This they gladly did, being motherly women full of pity for the dearyouth, whose straits they knew, and having substantial help to offer,as well as kind words and creature comforts.
Frau Tetzel, with some hesitation86, mentioned a friend of hers who,forced by illness to leave his place in the orchestra of asecond-rate theatre, would gladly offer it to Nat, if he could acceptso humble a position. Blushing and toying with the roses like a shygirl, good old Vogelstein asked if in his leisure moments he couldgive English lessons in the young ladies' school where she taughtpainting, adding that a small but certain salary would be paid him.
Gratefully Nat accepted both offers, finding it less humiliating tobe helped by women than by friends of his own sex. This work wouldsupport him in a frugal87 way, and certain musical drudgery88 promised byhis master assured his own teaching. Delighted with the success oftheir little plot, these friendly neighbours left him with cheerywords, warm hand-grasps, and faces beaming with feminine satisfactionat the hearty89 kiss Nat put on each faded cheek, as the only return hecould make for all their helpful kindness.
It was strange how much brighter the world looked after that; forhope was a better cordial than the wine, and good resolutions bloomedas freshly as the little rose-tree that filled the room withfragrance, as Nat woke the echoes with the dear old airs, finding nowas always his best comforter in music, to whom henceforth he swore tobe a more loyal subject.
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1
wilderness
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| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
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ted
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| vt.翻晒，撒，撒开 | |
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snares
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| n.陷阱( snare的名词复数 )；圈套；诱人遭受失败（丢脸、损失等）的东西；诱惑物v.用罗网捕捉，诱陷，陷害( snare的第三人称单数 ) | |
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enchanted
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| adj. 被施魔法的，陶醉的，入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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sip
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| v.小口地喝，抿，呷；n.一小口的量 | |
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eminent
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| adj.显赫的，杰出的，有名的，优良的 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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prospects
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eminence
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| n.卓越，显赫；高地，高处；名家 | |
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sentimental
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| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
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virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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confided
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| v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的过去式和过去分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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thereby
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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costly
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| adj.昂贵的，价值高的，豪华的 | |
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vex
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| vt.使烦恼，使苦恼 | |
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tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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lament
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prudence
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| n.谨慎，精明，节俭 | |
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novices
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| n.新手( novice的名词复数 )；初学修士（或修女）；（修会等的）初学生；尚未赢过大赛的赛马 | |
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inevitably
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| adv.不可避免地；必然发生地 | |
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drawn
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deferred
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| adj.延期的，缓召的v.拖延，延缓，推迟( defer的过去式和过去分词 )；服从某人的意愿，遵从 | |
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wholesome
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| adj.适合；卫生的；有益健康的；显示身心健康的 | |
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hospitable
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| adj.好客的；宽容的；有利的，适宜的 | |
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gallant
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simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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betrothed
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peril
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| n.(严重的)危险；危险的事物 | |
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adoration
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| n.爱慕，崇拜 | |
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chirper
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| 爽朗的，活泼的，爽快的 | |
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pang
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memorable
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malicious
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| adj.有恶意的，心怀恶意的 | |
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wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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transformation
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| n.变化；改造；转变 | |
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frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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fictitious
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| adj.虚构的，假设的；空头的 | |
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humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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confiding
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| adj.相信人的，易于相信的v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的现在分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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collapsed
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| adj.倒塌的 | |
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sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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penitence
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| n.忏悔，赎罪；悔过 | |
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softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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drenched
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| adj.湿透的；充满的v.使湿透( drench的过去式和过去分词 )；在某人（某物）上大量使用（某液体） | |
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gush
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| v.喷，涌；滔滔不绝(说话)；n.喷，涌流；迸发 | |
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deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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bonbons
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| n.小糖果( bonbon的名词复数 ) | |
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gaily
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| adv.欢乐地，高兴地 | |
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wink
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| n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁 | |
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betrothal
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| n. 婚约, 订婚 | |
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devoutly
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| adv.虔诚地，虔敬地，衷心地 | |
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disconsolately
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| adv.悲伤地，愁闷地；哭丧着脸 | |
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sundry
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| adj.各式各样的，种种的 | |
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gilded
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| a.镀金的，富有的 | |
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descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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avalanche
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| n.雪崩，大量涌来 | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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appalling
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| adj.骇人听闻的，令人震惊的，可怕的 | |
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ignominious
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| adj.可鄙的，不光彩的，耻辱的 | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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slough
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| v.蜕皮，脱落，抛弃 | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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blistered
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| adj.水疮状的，泡状的v.（使）起水泡( blister的过去式和过去分词 )；（使表皮等）涨破，爆裂 | |
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fiddle
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| n.小提琴；vi.拉提琴；不停拨弄，乱动 | |
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passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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salable
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| adj.有销路的，适销的 | |
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thrifty
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| adj.节俭的；兴旺的；健壮的 | |
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renounce
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| v.放弃；拒绝承认，宣布与…断绝关系 | |
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esteem
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| n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作 | |
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inborn
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| adj.天生的，生来的，先天的 | |
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sneak
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| vt.潜行(隐藏,填石缝)；偷偷摸摸做；n.潜行；adj.暗中进行 | |
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cannon
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| n.大炮，火炮；飞机上的机关炮 | |
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pauper
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| n.贫民，被救济者，穷人 | |
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promising
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| adj.有希望的，有前途的 | |
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redeemed
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| adj. 可赎回的，可救赎的 动词redeem的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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prodigal
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| adj.浪费的，挥霍的，放荡的 | |
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penitent
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| adj.后悔的；n.后悔者；忏悔者 | |
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84
hue
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| n.色度；色调；样子 | |
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joyfully
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| adv. 喜悦地, 高兴地 | |
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hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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87
frugal
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| adj.节俭的，节约的，少量的，微量的 | |
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drudgery
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| n.苦工，重活，单调乏味的工作 | |
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hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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