DAVID.
MR. POWER received Christie so hospitably1 that she felt at home atonce, and took up her new duties with the energy of one anxious torepay a favor. Her friend knew well the saving power of work, andgave her plenty of it; but it was a sort that at once interested andabsorbed her, so that she had little time for dangerous thoughts orvain regrets. As he once said, Mr. Power made her own troubles seemlight by showing her others so terribly real and great that she wasashamed to repine at her own lot.
Her gift of sympathy served her well, past experience gave her aquick eye to read the truth in others, and the earnest desire tohelp and comfort made her an excellent almoner for the rich, awelcome friend to the poor. She was in just the right mood to giveherself gladly to any sort of sacrifice, and labored3 with a quietenergy, painful to witness had any one known the hidden sufferingthat would not let her rest.
If she had been a regular novel heroine at this crisis, she wouldhave grown gray in a single night, had a dangerous illness, gonemad, or at least taken to pervading4 the house at unseasonable hourswith her back hair down and much wringing5 of the hands. Being only acommonplace woman she did nothing so romantic, but instinctivelytried to sustain and comfort herself with the humble6, wholesomeduties and affections which seldom fail to keep heads sane7 andhearts safe. Yet, though her days seemed to pass so busily andcheerfully, it must be confessed that there were lonely vigils inthe night; and sometimes in the morning Christie's eyes were veryheavy, Christie's pillow wet with tears.
But life never is all work or sorrow; and happy hours, helpfulpleasures, are mercifully given like wayside springs to pilgrimstrudging wearily along. Mr. Power showed Christie many such, andsilently provided her with better consolation8 than pity or advice.
"Deeds not words," was his motto; and he lived it out mostfaithfully. "Books and work" he gave his new charge; and thenfollowed up that prescription9 with "healthful play" of a sort sheliked, and had longed for all her life. Sitting at his tableChristie saw the best and bravest men and women of our times; forMr. Power was a magnet that drew them from all parts of the world.
She saw and heard, admired and loved them; felt her soul kindle10 withthe desire to follow in their steps, share their great tasks, knowtheir difficulties and dangers, and in the end taste the immortalsatisfactions given to those who live and labor2 for theirfellow-men. In such society all other aims seemed poor and petty;for they appeared to live in a nobler world than any she had known,and she felt as if they belonged to another race; not men norangels, but a delightful11 mixture of the two; more as she imaginedthe gods and heroes of old; not perfect, but wonderfully strong andbrave and good; each gifted with a separate virtue12, and each bent13 ona mission that should benefit mankind.
Nor was this the only pleasure given her. One evening of each weekwas set apart by Mr. Power for the reception of whomsoever chose tovisit him; for his parish was a large one, and his house a safehaunt for refugees from all countries, all oppressions.
Christie enjoyed these evenings heartily14, for there was no ceremony;each comer brought his mission, idea, or need, and genuinehospitality made the visit profitable or memorable15 to all, forentire freedom prevailed, and there was stabling for every one'shobby.
Christie felt that she was now receiving the best culture, acquiringthe polish that society gives, and makes truly admirable whencharacter adds warmth and power to its charm. The presence of herbosom-care calmed the old unrest, softened17 her manners, and at timestouched her face with an expression more beautiful than beauty. Shewas quite unconscious of the changes passing over her; and if anyone had told her she was fast becoming a most attractive woman, shewould have been utterly18 incredulous. But others saw and felt the newcharm; for no deep experience bravely borne can fail to leave itsmark, often giving power in return for patience, and lending asubtle loveliness to faces whose bloom it has destroyed.
This fact was made apparent to Christie one evening when she wentdown to the weekly gathering19 in one of the melancholy20 moods whichsometimes oppressed her. She felt dissatisfied with herself becauseher interest in all things began to flag, and a restless longing21 forsome new excitement to break up the monotonous22 pain of her innerlife possessed23 her. Being still a little shy in company, she slippedquietly into a recess24 which commanded a view of both rooms, and satlooking listlessly about her while waiting for David, who seldomfailed to come.
A curious collection of fellow-beings was before herj and at anothertime she would have found much to interest and amuse her. In onecorner a newly imported German with an Orson-like head, thumb-ring,and the fragrance25 of many meerschaums still hovering26 about him, washammering away upon some disputed point with a scientific Frenchman,whose national politeness was only equalled by his nationalvolubility. A prominent statesman was talking with a fugitive27 slave;a young poet getting inspiration from the face and voice of ahandsome girl who had earned the right to put M. D. to her name. Anold philosopher was calming the ardor28 of several rampant29 radicals,and a famous singer was comforting the heart of an Italian exile bytalking politics in his own melodious30 tongue.
There were plenty of reformers: some as truculent31 as Martin Luther;others as beaming and benevolent32 as if the pelting33 of the world hadonly mellowed34 them, and no amount of denunciatory thunder could sourthe milk of human kindness creaming in their happy hearts. Therewere eager women just beginning their protest against the wrongsthat had wrecked35 their peace; subdued36 women who had been worsted inthe unequal conflict and given it up; resolute37 women with "Nosurrender" written all over their strong-minded countenances39; andsweet, hopeful women, whose faith in God and man nothing could shakeor sadden.
But to Christie there was only one face worth looking at till Davidcame, and that was Mr. Power's; for he was a perfect host, andpervaded the rooms like a genial41 atmosphere, using the welcome ofeye and hand which needs no language to interpret it, giving to eachguest the intellectual fare he loved, and making their enjoyment42 hisown.
"Bless the dear man! what should we all do without him?" thoughtChristie, following him with grateful eyes, as he led an awkwardyouth in rusty43 black to the statesman whom it had been the desire ofhis ambitious soul to meet.
The next minute she proved that she at least could do without the"dear man;" for David entered the room, and she forgot all abouthim. Here and at church were the only places where the friends hadmet during these months, except one or two short visits to thelittle house in the lane when Christie devoted44 herself to Mrs.
Sterling.
David was quite unchanged, though once or twice Christie fancied heseemed ill at ease with her, and immediately tormented45 herself withthe idea that some alteration46 in her own manner had perplexed47 oroffended him. She did her best to be as frank and cordial as in thehappy old days; but it was impossible, and she soon gave it up,assuming in the place of that former friendliness48, a grave and quietmanner which would have led a wiser man than David to believe herbusied with her own affairs and rather indifferent to every thingelse.
If he had known how her heart danced in her bosom16, her eyesbrightened, and all the world became endurable, the moment heappeared, he would not have been so long in joining her, nor havedoubted what welcome awaited him.
As it was, he stopped to speak to his host; and, before hereappeared, Christie had found the excitement she had been longingfor.
"Now some bore will keep him an hour, and the evening is so short,"she thought, with a pang49 of disappointment; and, turning her eyesaway from the crowd which had swallowed up her heart's desire, theyfell upon a gentleman just entering, and remained fixed50 with anexpression of unutterable surprise; for there, elegant, calm, andcool as ever, stood Mr. Fletcher.
"How came he here?" was her first question; "How will he behave tome?" her second. As she could answer neither, she composed herselfas fast as possible, resolving to let matters take their own course,and feeling in the mood for an encounter with a discarded lover, asshe took a womanish satisfaction in remembering that the verypersonable gentleman before her had once been.
Mr. Fletcher and his companion passed on to find their host; and,with a glance at the mirror opposite, which showed her that thesurprise of the moment had given her the color she lacked before,Christie occupied herself with a portfolio51 of engravings, feelingvery much as she used to feel when waiting at a side scene for hercue.
She had not long to wait before Mr. Power came up, and presented thestranger; for such he fancied him, never having heard a certainepisode in Christie's life. Mr. Fletcher bowed, with no sign ofrecognition in his face, and began to talk in the smooth, low voiceshe remembered so well. For the moment, through sheer surprise,Christie listened and replied as any young lady might have done to anew-made acquaintance. But very soon she felt sure that Mr. Fletcherintended to ignore the past; and, finding her on a higher round ofthe social ladder, to accept the fact and begin again.
At first she was angry, then amused, then interested in the somewhatdramatic turn affairs were taking, and very wisely decided52 to meethim on his own ground, and see what came of it.
In the midst of an apparently53 absorbing discussion of one ofRaphael's most insipid54 Madonnas, she was conscious that David hadapproached, paused, and was scrutinizing55 her companion with unusualinterest. Seized with a sudden desire to see the two men together,Christie beckoned56; and when he obeyed, she introduced him, drew himinto the conversation, and then left him in the lurch57 by fallingsilent and taking notes while they talked.
If she wished to wean her heart from David by seeing him at adisadvantage, she could have devised no better way; for, though avery feminine test, it answered the purpose excellently.
Mr. Fletcher was a handsome man, and just then looked his best.
Improved health gave energy and color to his formerly58 sallow,listless face: the cold eyes were softer, the hard mouth suave59 andsmiling, and about the whole man there was that indescribablesomething which often proves more attractive than worth or wisdom tokeener-sighted women than Christie. Never had he talked better; for,as if he suspected what was in the mind of one hearer, he exertedhimself to be as brilliant as possible, and succeeded admirably.
David never appeared so ill, for he had no clew to the little comedybeing played before him; and long seclusion60 and natural reserveunfitted him to shine beside a man of the world like Mr. Fletcher.
His simple English sounded harsh, after the foreign phrases thatslipped so easily over the other's tongue. He had visited nogalleries, seen few of the world's wonders, and could only listenwhen they were discussed. More than once he was right, but failed toprove it, for Mr. Fletcher skilfully61 changed the subject or quenchedhim with a politely incredulous shrug62.
Even in the matter of costume, poor David was worsted; for, in awoman's eyes, dress has wonderful significance. Christie used tothink his suit of sober gray the most becoming man could wear; butnow it looked shapeless and shabby, beside garments which bore thestamp of Paris in the gloss63 and grace of broadcloth and fine linen64.
David wore no gloves: Mr. Fletcher's were immaculate. David's tiewas so plain no one observed it: Mr. Fletcher's, elegant andfaultless enough for a modern Beau Brummel. David's handkerchief wasof the commonest sort (she knew that, for she hemmed65 it herself):
Mr. Fletcher's was the finest cambric, and a delicate breath ofperfume refreshed the aristocratic nose to which the articlebelonged.
Christie despised herself as she made these comparisons, and felthow superficial they were; but, having resolved to exalt66 one man atthe expense of the other for her own good, she did not relent tillDavid took advantage of a pause, and left them with a reproachfullook that made her wish Mr. Fletcher at the bottom of the sea.
When they were alone a subtle change in his face and mannerconvinced her that he also had been taking notes, and had arrived ata favorable decision regarding herself. Women are quick at makingsuch discoveries; and, even while she talked with him as a stranger,she felt assured that, if she chose, she might make him again herlover.
Here was a temptation! She had longed for some new excitement, andfate seemed to have put one of the most dangerous within her reach.
It was natural to find comfort in the knowledge that somebody lovedher, and to take pride in her power over one man, because anotherdid not own it. In spite of her better self she felt the fascinationof the hour, and yielded to it, half unconsciously assumingsomething of the "dash and daring" which Mr. Fletcher had onceconfessed to finding so captivating in the demure67 governess. Heevidently thought so still, and played his part with spirit; for,while apparently enjoying a conversation which contained no allusionto the past, the memory of it gave piquancy68 to that longtete-a-tete.
As the first guests began to go, Mr. Fletcher's friend beckoned tohim; and he rose, saying with an accent of regret which changed toone of entreaty69, as he put his question:
"I, too, must go. May I come again, Miss Devon?""I am scarcely more than a guest myself; but Mr. Power is alwaysglad to see whoever cares to come," replied Christie rather primly,though her eyes were dancing with amusement at the recollection ofthose love passages upon the beach.
"Next time, I shall come not as a stranger, but as a former--may Isay friend?" he added quickly, as if emboldened70 by the mirthful eyesthat so belied71 the demure lips.
"Now you forget your part," and Christie's primness72 vanished in alaugh. "I am glad of it, for I want to ask about Mrs. Saltonstalland the children. I've often thought of the little dears, and longedto see them.""They are in Paris with their father.""Mrs. Saltonstall is well, I hope?""She died six months ago."An expression of genuine sorrow came over Mr. Fletcher's face as hespoke; and, remembering that the silly little woman was his sister,Christie put out her hand with a look and gesture so full ofsympathy that words were unnecessary. Taking advantage of thispropitious moment, he said, with an expressive75 glance and effectivetone: "I am all alone now. You will let me come again?""Certainly, if it can give you pleasure," she answered heartily,forgetting herself in pity for his sorrow.
Mr. Fletcher pressed her hand with a grateful, "Thank you!" andwisely went away at once, leaving compassion76 to plead for him betterthan he could have done it for himself.
Leaning back in her chair, Christie was thinking over this interviewso intently that she started when David's voice said close besideher:
"Shall I disturb you if I say, 'Good-night'?""I thought you were not going to say it at all," she answered rathersharply.
"I've been looking for a chance; but you were so absorbed with thatman I had to wait.""Considering the elegance77 of 'that man,' you don't treat him withmuch respect.""I don't feel much. What brought him here, I wonder. A French salonis more in his line.""He came to see Mr. Power, as every one else does, of course.""Don't dodge78, Christie: you know he came to see you.""How do you like him?" she asked, with treacherous79 abruptness80.
"Not particularly, so far. But if I knew him, I dare say I shouldfind many good traits in him.""I know you would!" said Christie, warmly, not thinking of Fletcher,but of David's kindly81 way of finding good in every one.
"He must have improved since you saw him last; for then, if Iremember rightly, you found him 'lazy, cross, selfish," andconceited.'""Now, David, I never said any thing of the sort," began Christie,wondering what possessed him to be so satirical and short with her.
"Yes, you did, last September, sitting on the old apple-tree themorning of your birthday.""What an inconvenient82 memory you have! Well, he was all that then;but he is not an invalid83 now, and so we see his real self.""I also remember that you gave me the impression that he was anelderly man.""Isn't forty elderly?""He wasn't forty when you taught his sister's children.""No; but he looked older than he does now, being so ill. I used tothink he would be very handsome with good health; and now I see Iwas right," said Christie, with feigned84 enthusiasm; for it was a newthing to tease David, and she liked it.
But she got no more of it; for, just then, the singer began to singto the select few who remained, and every one was silent. Leaning onthe high back of Christie's chair, David watched the reflection ofher face in the long mirror; for she listened to the music withdowncast eyes, unconscious what eloquent85 expressions were passingover her countenance40. She seemed a new Christie to David, in thatexcited mood; and, as he watched her, he thought:
"She loved this man once, or he loved her; and tonight it all comesback to her. How will it end?"So earnestly did he try to read that altered face that Christie feltthe intentness of his gaze, looked up suddenly, and met his eyes inthe glass. Something in the expression of those usually serene86 eyes,now darkened and dilated87 with the intensity88 of that long scrutiny,surprised and troubled her; and, scarcely knowing what she said, sheasked quickly:
"Who are you admiring?""Not myself.""I wonder if you'd think me vain if I asked you something that Iwant to know?" she said, obeying a sudden impulse.
"Ask it, and I'll tell you.""Am I much changed since you first knew me?""Very much.""For the better or the worse?""The better, decidedly.""Thank you, I hoped so; but one never knows how one seems to otherpeople. I was wondering what you saw in the glass.""A good and lovely woman, Christie."How sweet it sounded to hear David say that! so simply and sincerelythat it was far more than a mere89 compliment. She did not thank him,but said softly as if to herself:
"So let me seem until I be"--and then sat silent, so full of satisfaction in the thought thatDavid found her "good and lovely," she could not resist stealing aglance at the tell-tale mirror to see if she might believe him.
She forgot herself, however; for he was off guard now, and stoodlooking away with brows knit, lips tightly set, and eyes fixed, yetfull of fire; his whole attitude and expression that of a man intenton subduing90 some strong impulse by a yet stronger will.
It startled Christie; and she leaned forward, watching him withbreathless interest till the song ceased, and, with the oldimpatient gesture, David seemed to relapse into his accustomedquietude.
"It was the wonderful music that excited him: that was all;" thoughtChristie; yet, when he came round to say good-night, the strangeexpression was not gone, and his manner was not his own.
"Shall I ask if I may come again," he said, imitating Mr. Flctcher'sgraceful bow with an odd smile.
"I let him come because he has lost his sister, and is lonely,"began Christie, but got no further, for David said, "Good-night!"abruptly91, and was gone without a word to Mr. Power.
"He's in a hurry to get back to his Kitty," she thought, tormentingherself with feminine skill. "Never mind," she added, with a defiantsort of smile; "I 've got my Philip, handsomer and more in love thanever, if I'm not deceived. I wonder if he will come again?"Mr. Fletcher did come again, and with flattering regularity92, forseveral weeks, evidently finding something very attractive in thosenovel gatherings93. Mr. Power soon saw why he came; and, as Christieseemed to enjoy his presence, the good man said nothing to disturbher, though he sometimes cast an anxious glance toward the recesswhere the two usually sat, apparently busy with books or pictures;yet, by their faces, showing that an under current of deeperinterest than art or literature flowed through their intercourse94.
Christie had not deceived herself, and it was evident that her oldlover meant to try his fate again, if she continued to smile uponhim as she had done of late. He showed her his sunny side now, andvery pleasant she found it. The loss of his sister had touched hisheart, and made him long to fill the place her death left vacant.
Better health sweetened his temper, and woke the desire to dosomething worth the doing; and the sight of the only woman he hadever really loved, reawakened the sentiment that had not died, andmade it doubly sweet.
Why he cared for Christie he could not tell, but he never hadforgotten her; and, when he met her again with that new beauty inher face, he felt that time had only ripened95 the blithe96 girl into adeep-hearted woman, and he loved her with a better love than before.
His whole manner showed this; for the half-careless,half-condescending air of former times was replaced by the mostcourteous respect, a sincere desire to win her favor, and at timesthe tender sort of devotion women find so charming.
Christie felt all this, enjoyed it, and tried to be grateful for itin the way he wished, thinking that hearts could be managed likechildren, and when one toy is unattainable, be appeased97 by a biggeror a brighter one of another sort.
"I must love some one," she said, as she leaned over a basket ofmagnificent flowers just left for her by Mr. Fletcher's servant, athing which often happened now. "Philip has loved me with a fidelitythat ought to touch my heart. Why not accept him, and enjoy a newlife of luxury, novelty, and pleasure? All these things he can giveme: all these things are valued, admired, and sought for: and whowould appreciate them more than I? I could travel, cultivate myselfin many delightful ways, and do so much good. No matter if I was notvery happy: I should make Philip so, and have it in my power tocomfort many poor souls. That ought to satisfy me; for what isnobler than to live for others?"This idea attracted her, as it does all generous natures; she becameenamoured of self-sacrifice, and almost persuaded herself that itwas her duty to marry Mr. Fletcher, whether she loved him or not, inorder that she might dedicate her life to the service of poorer,sadder creatures than herself.
But in spite of this amiable99 delusion100, in spite of the desire toforget the love she would have in the love she might have, and inspite of the great improvement in her faithful Philip, Christiecould not blind herself to the fact that her head, rather than herheart, advised the match; she could not conquer a suspicion that,however much Mr. Fletcher might love his wife, he would be somethingof a tyrant101, and she was very sure she never would make a goodslave. In her cooler moments she remembered that men are notpuppets, to be moved as a woman's will commands, and the uncertaintyof being able to carry out her charitable plans made her pause toconsider whether she would not be selling her liberty too cheaply,if in return she got only dependence102 and bondage103 along with fortuneand a home.
So tempted104 and perplexed, self-deluded and self-warned, attractedand repelled105, was poor Christie, that she began to feel as if shehad got into a labyrinth106 without any clew to bring her safely out.
She longed to ask advice of some one, but could not turn to Mrs.
Sterling; and what other woman friend had she except Rachel, fromwhom she had not heard for months?
As she asked herself this question one day, feeling sure that Mr.
Fletcher would come in the evening, and would soon put his fortuneto the touch again, the thought of Mrs. Wilkins seemed to answerher.
"Why not?" said Christie: "she is sensible, kind, and discreet107; shemay put me right, for I'm all in a tangle108 now with doubts and fears,feelings and fancies. I'll go and see her: that will do me good,even if I don't say a word about my 'werryments,' as the dear soulwould call them."Away she went, and fortunately found her friend alone in the"settin'-room," darning away at a perfect stack of socks, as shecreaked comfortably to and fro in her old rocking-chair.
"I was jest wishin' somebody would drop in: it's so kinder lonesomewith the children to school and Adelaide asleep. How be you, dear?"said Mrs. Wilkins, with a hospitable109 hug and a beaming smile.
"I'm worried in my mind, so I came to see you," answered Christie,sitting down with a sigh.
"Bless your dear heart, what is to pay. Free your mind, and I'll domy best to lend a hand."The mere sound of that hearty110 voice comforted Christie, and gave hercourage to introduce the little fiction under which she had decidedto defraud111 Mrs. Wilkins of her advice. So she helped herself to avery fragmentary blue sock and a big needle, that she might haveemployment for her eyes, as they were not so obedient as her tongue,and then began in as easy a tone as she could assume.
"Well, you see a friend of mine wants my advice on a very seriousmatter, and I really don't know what to give her. It is strictlyconfidential, you know, so I won't mention any names, but just setthe case before you and get your opinion, for I've great faith inyour sensible way of looking at things.""Thanky, dear, you'r welcome to my 'pinion112 ef it's wuth any thing.
Be these folks you tell of young?" asked Mrs. Wilkins, with evidentrelish for the mystery.
"No, the woman is past thirty, and the man 'most forty, I believe,"said Christie, darning away in some trepidation113 at having taken thefirst plunge114.
"My patience! ain't the creater old enough to know her own mind? forI s'pose she's the one in the quanderry?" exclaimed Mrs. Wilkins,looking over her spectacles with dangerously keen eyes.
"The case is this," said Christie, in guilty haste. "The 'creature'
is poor and nobody, the man rich and of good family, so you see it'srather hard for her to decide.""No, I don't see nothin' of the sort," returned blunt Mrs. Wilkins.
"Ef she loves the man, take him: ef she don't, give him the mittinand done with it. Money and friends and family ain't much to do withthe matter accordin' to my view. It's jest a plain question betwixtthem two. Ef it takes much settlin' they 'd better let it alone.""She doesn't love him as much as she might, I fancy, but she istired of grubbing along alone. He is very fond of her, and veryrich; and it would be a fine thing for her in a worldly way, I'msure.""Oh, she's goin' to marry for a livin' is she? Wal, now I'd rutherone of my girls should grub the wust kind all their days than dothat. Hows'ever, it may suit some folks ef they ain't got muchheart, and is contented115 with fine clothes, nice vittles, andhandsome furnitoor. Selfish, cold, silly kinder women might git on,I dare say; but I shouldn't think any friend of your'n would be oneof that sort.""But she might do a great deal of good, and make others happy evenif she was not so herself.""She might, but I doubt it, for money got that way wouldn't prosperwal. Mis'able folks ain't half so charitable as happy ones; and Idon't believe five dollars from one of 'em would go half so fur, orbe half so comfortin' as a kind word straight out of a cheerfulheart. I know some thinks that is a dreadful smart thing to do; butI don't, and ef any one wants to go a sacrificin' herself for thegood of others, there's better ways of doin' it than startin' with alie in her mouth."Mrs. Wilkins spoke73 warmly; for Christie's face made her fictionperfectly transparent116, though the good woman with true delicacyshowed no sign of intelligence on that point.
"Then you wouldn't advise my friend to say yes?""Sakes alive, no! I'd say to her as I did to my younger sisters whentheir courtin' time come: 'Jest be sure you're right as to therebein' love enough, then go ahead, and the Lord will bless you.'""Did they follow your advice?""They did, and both is prosperin' in different ways. Gusty117, shefound she was well on't for love, so she married, though Samuel Buckwas poor, and they're happy as can be a workin' up together, same asLisha and me did. Addy, she calc'lated she wan't satisfied somehow,so she didn't marry, though James Miller118 was wal off; and she's kepstiddy to her trade, and ain't never repented119. There's a sight saidand writ38 about such things," continued Mrs. Wilkins, rambling120 on togive Christie time to think; "but I've an idee that women's heartsis to be trusted ef they ain't been taught all wrong. Jest let 'emremember that they take a husband for wuss as well as better (andthere's a sight of wuss in this tryin' world for some on us), and beready to do their part patient and faithful, and I ain't a grainafraid but what they'll be fetched through, always pervidin' theylove the man and not his money."There was a pause after that last speech, and Christie felt as ifher perplexity was clearing away very fast; for Mrs. Wilkins's plaintalk seemed to show her things in their true light, with all theillusions of false sentiment and false reasoning stripped away. Shefelt clearer and stronger already, and as if she could make up hermind very soon when one other point had been discussed.
"I fancy my friend is somewhat influenced by the fact that this manloved and asked her to marry him some years ago. He has notforgotten her, and this touches her heart more than any thing else.
It seems as if his love must be genuine to last so long, and not tomind her poverty, want of beauty, and accomplishments121; for he is aproud and fastidious man.""I think wal of him for that!" said Mrs. Wilkins, approvingly; "butI guess she's wuth all he gives her, for there must be somethin'
pretty gennywin' in her to make him overlook her lacks and hold onso stiddy. It don't alter her side of the case one mite122 though; forlove is love, and ef she ain't got it, he'd better not takegratitude instid, but sheer off and leave her for somebody else.""Nobody else wants her!" broke from Christie like an involuntary cryof pain; then she hid her face by stooping to gather up theavalanche of hosiery which fell from her lap to the floor.
"She can't be sure of that," said Mrs. Wilkins cheerily, though herspectacles were dim with sudden mist. "I know there's a mate for hersomewheres, so she'd better wait a spell and trust in Providence123. Itwouldn't be so pleasant to see the right one come along after she'dwent and took the wrong one in a hurry: would it? Waitin' is alwayssafe, and time needn't be wasted in frettin' or bewailin'; for theLord knows there's a sight of good works sufferin' to be done, andsingle women has the best chance at 'em.""I've accomplished124 one good work at any rate; and, small as it is, Ifeel better for it. Give this sock to your husband, and tell him hiswife sets a good example both by precept125 and practice to otherwomen, married or single. Thank you very much, both for myself andmy friend, who shall profit by your advice," said Christie, feelingthat she had better go before she told every thing.
"I hope she will," returned Mrs. Wilkins, as her guest went awaywith a much happier face than the one she brought. "And ef I knowher, which I think I do, she'll find that Cinthy Wilkins ain't furfrom right, ef her experience is good for any thing," added thematron with a sigh, and a glance at a dingy126 photograph of her Lishaon the wall, a sigh that seemed to say there had been a good deal of"wuss" in her bargain, though she was too loyal to confess it.
Something in Christie's face struck Mr. Fletcher at once when heappeared that evening. He had sometimes found her cold and quiet,often gay and capricious, usually earnest and cordial, with awistful look that searched his face and both won and checked him byits mute appeal, seeming to say, "Wait a little till I have taughtmy heart to answer as you wish."To-night her eyes shunned127 his, and when he caught a glimpse of themthey were full of a soft trouble; her manner was kinder than everbefore, and yet it made him anxious, for there was a resoluteexpression about her lips even when she smiled, and though heventured upon allusions128 to the past hitherto tacitly avoided, shelistened as if it had no tender charm for her.
Being thoroughly129 in earnest now, Mr. Fletcher resolved to ask themomentous question again without delay. David was not there, and hadnot been for several weeks, another thorn in Christie's heart,though she showed no sign of regret, and said to herself, "It isbetter so." His absence left Fletcher master of the field, and heseized the propitious74 moment.
"Will you show me the new picture? Mr. Power spoke of it, but I donot like to trouble him.""With pleasure," and Christie led the way to a little room where thenewly arrived gift was placed.
She knew what was coming, but was ready, and felt a tragic130 sort ofsatisfaction in the thought of all she was relinquishing131 for love ofDavid.
No one was in the room, but a fine copy of Michael Angelo's Fateshung on the wall, looking down at them with weird132 significance.
"They look as if they would give a stern answer to any questioningof ours," Mr. Fletcher said, after a glance of affected133 interest.
"They would give a true one I fancy," answered Christie, shading hereyes as if to see the better.
"I 'd rather question a younger, fairer Fate, hoping that she willgive me an answer both true and kind. May I, Christie?""I will be true but--I cannot be kind." It cost her much to saythat; yet she did it steadily134, though he held her hand in both hisown, and waited for her words with ardent135 expectation.
"Not yet perhaps,--but in time, when I have proved how sincere mylove is, how entire my repentance136 for the ungenerous words you havenot forgotten. I wanted you then for my own sake, now I want you foryourself, because I love and honor you above all women. I tried toforget you, but I could not; and all these years have carried in myheart a very tender memory of the girl who dared to tell me that allI could offer her was not worth her love.""I was mistaken," began Christie, finding this wooing much harder towithstand than the other.
"No, you were right: I felt it then and resented it, but I owned itlater, and regretted it more bitterly than I can tell. I'm notworthy of you; I never shall be: but I've loved you for five yearswithout hope, and I'll wait five more if in the end you will come tome. Christie, I need you very much!"If Mr. Fletcher had gone down upon his knees and poured out the mostardent protestations that ever left a lover's lips, it would nothave touched her as did that last little appeal, uttered with abreak in the voice that once was so proud and was so humble now.
"Forgive me!" she cried, looking up at him with real respect in herface, and real remorse137 smiting138 her conscience. "Forgive me! I havemisled you and myself. I tried to love you: I was grateful for yourregard, touched by your fidelity98, and I hoped I might repay it; butI cannot! I cannot!""Why?"Such a hard question! She owed him all the truth, yet how could shetell it? She could not in words, but her face did, for the colorrose and burned on cheeks and forehead with painful fervor139; her eyesfell, and her lips trembled as if endeavoring to keep down thesecret that was escaping against her will. A moment of silence asMr. Fletcher searched for the truth and found it; then he said withsuch sharp pain in his voice that Christie's heart ached at thesound:
"I see: I am too late?""Yes.""And there is no hope?""None.""Then there is nothing more for me to say but good-by. May you behappy.""I shall not be;--I have no hope;--I only try to be true to you andto myself. Oh, believe it, and pity me as I do you!"As the words broke from Christie, she covered up her face, boweddown with the weight of remorse that made her long to atone140 for whatshe had done by any self-humiliation.
Mr. Fletcher was at his best at that moment; for real love ennoblesthe worst and weakest while it lasts: but he could not resist thetemptation that confession141 offered him. He tried to be generous, butthe genuine virtue was not in him; he did want Christie very much,and the knowledge of a rival in her heart only made her the dearer.
"I'm not content with your pity, sweet as it is: I want your love,and I believe that I might earn it if you would let me try. You areall alone, and life is hard to you: come to me and let me make ithappier. I'll be satisfied with friendship till you can give memore."He said this very tenderly, caressing142 the bent head while he spoke,and trying to express by tone and gesture how eagerly he longed toreceive and cherish what that other man neglected.
Christie felt this to her heart's core, and for a moment longed toend the struggle, say, "Take me," and accept the shadow for thesubstance. But those last words of his vividly143 recalled the compactmade with David that happy birthday night. How could she be hisfriend if she was Mr. Fletcher's wife? She knew she could not betrue to both, while her heart reversed the sentiment she then wouldowe them: David's friendship was dearer than Philip's love, and shewould keep it at all costs. These thoughts flashed through her mindin the drawing of a breath, and she looked up, saying steadily inspite of wet eyes and still burning cheeks:
"Hope nothing; wait for nothing from me. I will have no moredelusions for either of us: it is weak and wicked, for I know Ishall not change. Some time we may venture to be friends perhaps,but not now. Forgive me, and be sure I shall suffer more than youfor this mistake of mine."When she had denied his suit before he had been ungenerous andangry; for his pride was hurt and his will thwarted144: now his heartbled and hope died hard; but all that was manliest145 in him rose tohelp him bear the loss, for this love was genuine, and made him bothjust and kind. His face was pale with the pain of that fruitlesspassion, and his voice betrayed how hard he strove for self-control,as he said hurriedly:
"You need not suffer: this mistake has given me the happiest hoursof my life, and I am better for having known so sweet and true awoman. God bless you, Christie!" and with a quick embrace thatstartled her by its suddenness and strength he left her, standingthere alone before the three grim Fates.
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1
hospitably
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| 亲切地，招待周到地，善于款待地 | |
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labor
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| n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦 | |
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labored
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| adj.吃力的，谨慎的v.努力争取(for)( labor的过去式和过去分词 )；苦干；详细分析；（指引擎）缓慢而困难地运转 | |
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pervading
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| v.遍及，弥漫( pervade的现在分词 ) | |
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wringing
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| 淋湿的，湿透的 | |
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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sane
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| adj.心智健全的，神志清醒的，明智的，稳健的 | |
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consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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prescription
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| n.处方，开药；指示，规定 | |
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kindle
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| v.点燃，着火 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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13
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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memorable
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| adj.值得回忆的，难忘的，特别的，显著的 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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monotonous
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| adj.单调的，一成不变的，使人厌倦的 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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recess
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| n.短期休息，壁凹（墙上装架子，柜子等凹处） | |
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fragrance
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| n.芬芳，香味，香气 | |
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hovering
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| 鸟( hover的现在分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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fugitive
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| adj.逃亡的，易逝的；n.逃犯，逃亡者 | |
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ardor
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| n.热情，狂热 | |
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rampant
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| adj.(植物)蔓生的；狂暴的，无约束的 | |
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melodious
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| adj.旋律美妙的，调子优美的，音乐性的 | |
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truculent
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| adj.野蛮的，粗野的 | |
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32
benevolent
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| adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的 | |
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pelting
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| 微不足道的，无价值的，盛怒的 | |
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mellowed
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| （使）成熟( mellow的过去式和过去分词 )； 使色彩更加柔和，使酒更加醇香 | |
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wrecked
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| adj.失事的，遇难的 | |
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subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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resolute
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| adj.坚决的，果敢的 | |
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38
writ
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| n.命令状，书面命令 | |
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countenances
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| n.面容( countenance的名词复数 )；表情；镇静；道义支持 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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41
genial
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| adj.亲切的，和蔼的，愉快的，脾气好的 | |
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42
enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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43
rusty
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| adj.生锈的；锈色的；荒废了的 | |
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44
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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45
tormented
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| 饱受折磨的 | |
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46
alteration
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| n.变更，改变；蚀变 | |
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perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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48
friendliness
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| n.友谊，亲切，亲密 | |
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49
pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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50
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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51
portfolio
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| n.公事包；文件夹；大臣及部长职位 | |
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52
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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53
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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54
insipid
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| adj.无味的，枯燥乏味的，单调的 | |
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55
scrutinizing
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| v.仔细检查，详审( scrutinize的现在分词 ) | |
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56
beckoned
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| v.（用头或手的动作）示意，召唤( beckon的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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57
lurch
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| n.突然向前或旁边倒；v.蹒跚而行 | |
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58
formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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59
suave
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| adj.温和的；柔和的；文雅的 | |
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60
seclusion
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| n.隐遁，隔离 | |
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61
skilfully
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| adv. (美skillfully)熟练地 | |
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62
shrug
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| v.耸肩(表示怀疑、冷漠、不知等) | |
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63
gloss
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| n.光泽，光滑；虚饰；注释；vt.加光泽于；掩饰 | |
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64
linen
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| n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的 | |
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65
hemmed
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| 缝…的褶边( hem的过去式和过去分词 )； 包围 | |
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66
exalt
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| v.赞扬，歌颂，晋升，提升 | |
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demure
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| adj.严肃的；端庄的 | |
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68
piquancy
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| n.辛辣，辣味，痛快 | |
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entreaty
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| n.恳求，哀求 | |
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70
emboldened
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| v.鼓励，使有胆量( embolden的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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71
belied
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| v.掩饰( belie的过去式和过去分词 )；证明（或显示）…为虚假；辜负；就…扯谎 | |
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72
primness
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| n.循规蹈矩，整洁 | |
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73
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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propitious
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| adj.吉利的；顺利的 | |
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expressive
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| adj.表现的，表达…的，富于表情的 | |
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compassion
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| n.同情，怜悯 | |
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elegance
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| n.优雅；优美，雅致；精致，巧妙 | |
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dodge
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| v.闪开，躲开，避开；n.妙计，诡计 | |
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treacherous
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| adj.不可靠的，有暗藏的危险的；adj.背叛的，背信弃义的 | |
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abruptness
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| n. 突然，唐突 | |
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81
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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inconvenient
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| adj.不方便的，令人感到麻烦的 | |
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invalid
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| n.病人，伤残人；adj.有病的，伤残的；无效的 | |
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feigned
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| a.假装的，不真诚的 | |
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eloquent
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| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
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serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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dilated
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| adj.加宽的，扩大的v.（使某物）扩大，膨胀，张大( dilate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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intensity
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| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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subduing
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| 征服( subdue的现在分词 )； 克制； 制服； 色变暗 | |
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abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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regularity
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| n.规律性，规则性；匀称，整齐 | |
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gatherings
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| 聚集( gathering的名词复数 )； 收集； 采集； 搜集 | |
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intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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ripened
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| v.成熟，使熟( ripen的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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blithe
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| adj.快乐的，无忧无虑的 | |
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appeased
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| 安抚，抚慰( appease的过去式和过去分词 )； 绥靖（满足另一国的要求以避免战争） | |
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fidelity
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| n.忠诚，忠实；精确 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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delusion
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| n.谬见，欺骗，幻觉，迷惑 | |
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tyrant
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| n.暴君，专制的君主，残暴的人 | |
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dependence
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| n.依靠，依赖；信任，信赖；隶属 | |
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103
bondage
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| n.奴役，束缚 | |
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104
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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repelled
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| v.击退( repel的过去式和过去分词 )；使厌恶；排斥；推开 | |
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labyrinth
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| n.迷宫；难解的事物；迷路 | |
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107
discreet
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| adj.(言行)谨慎的；慎重的；有判断力的 | |
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tangle
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| n.纠缠；缠结；混乱；v.(使)缠绕；变乱 | |
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hospitable
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| adj.好客的；宽容的；有利的，适宜的 | |
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hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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defraud
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| vt.欺骗，欺诈 | |
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pinion
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| v.束缚；n.小齿轮 | |
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trepidation
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| n.惊恐，惶恐 | |
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plunge
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| v.跳入，(使)投入，(使)陷入；猛冲 | |
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contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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transparent
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| adj.明显的，无疑的；透明的 | |
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gusty
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| adj.起大风的 | |
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miller
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| n.磨坊主 | |
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repented
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| 对（自己的所为）感到懊悔或忏悔( repent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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rambling
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| adj.[建]凌乱的，杂乱的 | |
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accomplishments
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| n.造诣；完成( accomplishment的名词复数 )；技能；成绩；成就 | |
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mite
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| n.极小的东西；小铜币 | |
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providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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precept
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| n.戒律；格言 | |
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dingy
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| adj.昏暗的，肮脏的 | |
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shunned
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| v.避开，回避，避免( shun的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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allusions
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| 暗指，间接提到( allusion的名词复数 ) | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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tragic
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| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
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relinquishing
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| 交出，让给( relinquish的现在分词 )； 放弃 | |
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weird
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| adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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repentance
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| n.懊悔 | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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smiting
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| v.猛打，重击，打击( smite的现在分词 ) | |
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fervor
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| n.热诚；热心；炽热 | |
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atone
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| v.赎罪，补偿 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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caressing
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| 爱抚的，表现爱情的，亲切的 | |
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vividly
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| adv.清楚地，鲜明地，生动地 | |
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thwarted
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| 阻挠( thwart的过去式和过去分词 )； 使受挫折； 挫败； 横过 | |
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manliest
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| manly（有男子气概的）的最高级形式 | |
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