Bud was packing in his rooms at Aston's Hotel. It was late at night. Late as it was, however, he had only left Nan, engaged at a similar occupation, less than half an hour ago. He had sat talking to her, and watching her with eyes of deep concern while, with infinite care, she bestowed1 those beautiful gowns which mean so much in a woman's life.
His visit to her had not been one of mere2 companionship. It had been inspired by a sympathy he had no other means of displaying. He had talked to her; by every means in his power he had endeavored to interest her in reminiscence of the week's doings. She listened patiently, almost submissively, for she understood the promptings of his endeavor. But she was too deeply plunged3 in her own discouragement to display real interest, and it had required every ounce of courage she possessed4 to prevent herself falling to weeping.
Nor was Bud at fault for a moment. He recognized the trouble lurking5 in the sweet brown eyes. And with all his might he pretended not to see. So, when his last effort to cheer had proved unavailing, he took his departure under the excuse of his own packing.
He knew. Of course he knew. Had he not watched the progress of events throughout the week? Had he not seen for himself how Jeff's fancy had been caught? And she was very beautiful, this town-bred woman, beautiful with that healthy, downy complexion6 which Bud found did not fit with his idea of city "raised" women. He almost felt he hated her, yet he knew he had no right to his antagonism7. Jeff was unpledged, he was free. No woman had any claim on him. Not even Nan. Poor Nan. He had hoped to give her seven long days of unalloyed delight. He had only given her seven days of bitter disappointment and disillusion8.
He set about his packing with furious zest9. In a moment, it seemed, his room was in a state of chaos10. And all the while, as he bundled garments together and flung them into his grips, his busy thought went on in the only direction in which it seemed capable of moving just now.
His mind had gone back to the days before their visit to Calthorpe. He remembered the delighted anticipation11 which Nan had displayed. Her displays of happy affection for himself in the midst of her own great looking forward. The ravishing hours she had spent in choosing patterns of material, and styles of gown. He remembered the bright sparkling eyes shining, it seemed to him, at all times. That wonderful looking forward. Oh, the holiday of it had been nothing. There was only one thing, one thought, which had inspired the child. It was Jeff. It was a week that was to see honor done him, and she--she was to join in honoring him. Jeff was the whole hub about which her happiness revolved12.
He was pained. He was angry. And the vision of Elvine van Blooren's dark beauty haunted him. He admitted it--her beauty. And for all his disquiet13, his bitter feeling, he found it impossible to blame the man.
Yes, for all his exasperation14. For all he regarded Jeff as a "fool man," he was just enough to remember that Nan was his own little daughter, a pretty prairie girl, with nothing of the showy attraction of this city woman. Then Jeff's attitude toward her. It had never been more than the sheerest friendliness15. He reflected bitterly, even, that they might have been simply brother and sister. While the dream of his life was some day to be able to pour out the wealth he was storing up into the out-stretched palms of their children.
Well, it was a dream. And now it had come tumbling about his feet, and it almost looked to him as if poor little Nan's heart was to be buried beneath the debris16.
He flung his evening suit, which Nan had so much admired, into the gaping17 jaws18 of a large leather grip, with a disregard that more than illustrated19 his feelings. Then he strove to close the grip tucking in the projecting oddments of silk-lined cloth without the least consideration for their well-being20. He felt he never wanted to wear such things again, never wanted even to see them. He and Nan belonged to the prairie, not to a city. That was good enough for them. What was the use----?
But his reflections were interrupted by the abrupt21 appearance of Jeff himself. Bud looked up as the door was unceremoniously thrust open, and his regard was quite unshaken by the depths of his feelings. It displayed a mute question, however.
Jeff began at once.
"I saw the light through your transom, Bud, so I just came right in."
Jeff was a shade paler than usual. There was a look of some doubt in his blue eyes. And his manner hinted at a decision taken. A decision that had not been arrived at without some considerable exercise of mind.
Slowly, as he regarded him, all Bud's bitterness subsided23. If Nan were his daughter, this man was almost a son to him.
"Say, old friend, I'm--I'm not going back home with you to-morrow," Jeff went on. He stirred with a suggestion of nervousness, and then flung himself upon the old man's littered-up bed. "I just can't, an' that's a fact. I want to stop around here for a while. I got to."
He paused as though awaiting an answer, but none was forthcoming. Only was there that steady regard from the man beyond the still open grip.
Bud was not thinking of the announcement. Jeff was certainly a "good-looker," and he was beginning to understand something of the attraction he must have for a woman like Elvine van Blooren. He was slim and muscular, with a keen face of decision and strength. Then, was he not on the rising wave which must ever appeal to the maturer mind of a widow, however young? His disappointment rose again and threatened to find expression. But he thrust it aside and struggled to remember only his regard for the man.
Did he mind? It was a weak question. Coming from Jeff it sounded foolish. Bud smiled, and his quiet sense of humor saved him from himself.
"Why, if you feel that way I don't guess you need worry a thing, Jeff." Then he added: "Guess Nan an' me'll get right along home. But it don't need to cut no ice. I take it you're askin' me to fix things right at the Obars till you get around. That so?"
Jeff nodded. He was feeling that he was doing something mean, even brutal25. He knew that what he contemplated26 must result in the bitterest disappointment to his old friend. He had well enough known throughout their partnership27 Bud's yearning28 desire that he should marry Nan. Well, such a course was unthinkable now. Somehow it had never seemed really possible. He was troubled, grievously troubled, but he was determined29 now to act in the only honest way. He was determined that Bud should know the truth--at all costs.
"I'd be thankful to you, Bud."
For some moments no other word was spoken. There was awkwardness. But it was with Jeff alone. He feared the result of what he must tell.
"You're--packing?" he said presently.
Bud sat himself heavily into a rocker.
"Yep. Lestways I don't guess Nan 'ud call it that way." He raked his curly iron-gray hair with his strong fingers, and gazed ruefully at the chaos.
"Maybe I can help some."
Bud shook his head, and his smile was good.
"Guess one darn fool's enough playin' this game. When're you coming along to--home?"
"Maybe a week."
The reply was prompt.
"An'--you'll bring her along with you?"
The eyes of the two men met. Each was reading the other like an open book.
Jeff shook his head. Somehow there was nothing absurd to him in Bud's suggestion. There was nothing startling even in the probing of his secret with so much directness.
"I haven't asked her--yet."
Then it was that the big heart of the friend, who was almost a father, made itself apparent.
"But you're goin' to, Jeff. An' she's goin' to take you. Say, Jeff, she's one lucky woman."
In a moment the tide of the younger man's feelings was set flowing. In a moment the egoism of the lover made a generous nature forget all else but the passion that absorbed him. In a moment the thought that this man was Nan's father, and that the dearest wish of his life was that he, Jeff, should marry his daughter, was forgotten.
"Lucky? But you got it wrong, Bud," Jeff cried, sitting erect33, his face flushed with the passionate34 stirring of Ills strong heart. "It's I who'll be lucky, if she don't turn me down. Man, I'm not worth the dust on her shoes. I'm not fit to lackey35 for her. Nor--nor is any other feller. Say, Bud," he went on, leaning impressively forward, his eyes shining with his passion, "I'm just crazy to death for her. And--and I can't just help it. I'd go through hell's flames for her, man, I'd----"
"Say, boy, don't worry that-a-way. Jest marry her instead," Bud broke in with his gentlest smile. "You're all sorts of a boy, Jeff, and I don't figger you got call to talk about the dust of any woman's shoes. But I guess ther's times when it's good fer a man to feel he ain't as big as he's told. Anyways, you get right ahead, and leave me to the Obars. I ain't goin' to fail you now, any more than any other time." Then he rumpled36 his stubbly hair again, and it was an action that suggested heavy thought. "Say," he went on, a moment later, his eyes looking squarely into the face of the other, "we're hittin' the trail good an' early to-morrow. Guess you best let me say 'good-bye' to Nan for you. That so?"
Jeff nodded. He understood. And somehow the bigness of this man made him almost despise himself.
"Then I guess I'll get right on with my--packin'."
* * * * * *
They were standing37 on the stoop of Aston's Hotel. In front of them the broad Avenue opened out with its central walk, between an aisle38 of wide-spreading maple39 trees bathed in the early morning sun. A spring wagon40 was already moving away, piled up with baggage. The saddle horses were ready, held by one of the hotel servants. Nan, in her riding costume, was waiting while her father exchanged a few parting words with the hotel manager.
"Guess you're right. It's been a darn good week this year. The best in my memory. I'd say the Conference was a heap better attended, an' the weather's been just great. We got through a deal o' legislation, too. Guess things are goin' to hum, with the Obars at the head of 'em this year. Our big play is to be dealin' with rustlers. We got a hell of a piece o' leeway to make up. Four years ago we guessed we'd got 'em fixed where we wanted 'em. But they hatched out since like a brood o' wolf cubs41. So long."
"Mr. Masters is stopping on for a while," the manager observed, with that intimate touch which he always practiced with his more influential42 customers of the cattle world.
"Why, yes." Bud's eyes were watching Nan as she mounted her pony43, carefully held by a solicitous44 barn-hand. Under other circumstances the man's attention would have afforded him amusement. Just now he was regretting the manager's remark. "Y'see, ther's a deal to fix. Seein' he's president this year, why, I guess it's up to him to kep his ladle busy in the soup."
He moved off the stoop and took his horse from the waiting man. He swung himself into the saddle with an agility45 which belied46 his years.
He waved one great hand in response to the manager's deferential47 bow, and turned his horse away. In a moment Bud and Nan were riding side by side down the wide Avenue.
It was a long time before either attempted to break the silence between them. They had even reached the outskirts48 of the city before Nan broached49 the subject from which her father admittedly shrank.
"I'm glad Jeff didn't get up to see us off," she said imply. Then she laughed softly. "Y'see, Daddy, there's times for most things; and 'good-byes' in the early morning are a bit like cold baths in winter."
Bud eyed his daughter with a quick sidelong glance, and then continued his survey of the trail ahead as it lifted over a gentle grassy50 slope. They were passing the last houses of the town, and ahead lay the tawny51 fields which made the country one of the greatest pastures in the world.
"Ther'd been no sort o' sense his turning out around sun-up to see us folks off. It ain't goin' to be weeks before he gets back home."
"No."
Nan's smile remained, and Bud, for all his avoidance of it, was aware that was so. It was a smile that cut him to the heart, and yet he was simple man enough to find relief in it.
"There'll be a deal for him to fix before he gets back home," Nan went on.
She spoke31 in the earnest fashion of deep consideration. Bud glanced round at her again, steadying his powerful horse to permit her pony to push its nose ahead. Her manner had startled him. But he refrained from the folly52 of replying. He had that in his mind to impart the thought of which nearly broke his heart. But it must be told, and by him. And a passionate desire to lighten the blow made him watch desperately53 for the best opportunity.
But he was dealing54 with a nature stronger, deeper, more honest and clear-sighted than he knew. He was dealing with a woman who could sacrifice all to the well-being and happiness of those she loved. With Nan self held a particularly subservient55 place to every other emotion. And when it did manage to obtrude56 itself it was her way to fight her battle alone, at a time when no prying57 eyes were there to witness her sufferings. To the daylight she presented a pair of sweet brown smiling eyes, and lips as full, and ripe, and firm as though no shadow of doubt and unhappiness had ever crossed her path.
She went on rapidly, speaking as though the matter under consideration were fully32 accepted between them.
"It's queer how things fix themselves the way you don't guess," she said reflectively. "Just one week, and they're changed around in a way that makes you wonder if you aren't dreaming. It's sort of like the Indian summer, isn't it? There's the beautiful light of the full sun on colors that set you 'most crazy with delight. Pictures that make you feel Providence58 is just the biggest painter ever set brush to canvas. Then, with a shiver of wind from the north, down the leaves tumble, and right on top of 'em comes the snow, and then you're moving around in a sort of crystal fairy web, and wonder when you'll wake up. A week ago Jeff didn't even know her; she wasn't in the world so far as he knew. Now he's going to marry her."
Nan stated the fact without a tremor59 of voice, without a shadow of hesitation60. The sunny smile was entirely61 without a cloud. Her father stared down at her from his superior height with eyes wide with astonishment62 and something of alarm.
"Say, did Jeff tell you?" he asked sharply.
Nan shook her head.
"Then how in hell d'you know it all? Say----"
"How d'you know anything that affects you here, Daddy?" the girl retorted, gently indicating her soft rounded bosom63 with one gauntleted hand.
Then her smile broke out again, and the man's trouble was further increased.
"Y'see, I don't mind saying things to you. You're my Daddy and Momma all rolled into one. And there's sure a heap of you for two," she smiled up at him. "Maybe you don't always say all the things you feel, but it don't keep me guessing long. You'd a heap of terr'ble, terr'ble things on your mind to say to me on this ride. Oh, and they weighed heavy. Your poor worried face had lost all its smile, and your eyes just looked as if you'd been lying awake nights an' nights, an' you'd seen every sort of nightmare ever thought of in the world of dreams. It made me kind of sorry, and I just couldn't wait for you to make that big talk you figgered on."
Bud was gazing far out ahead at the brilliant sky-line where the crests64 of grass-land cut the line in perfect undulations. Nan's gently drawn65 sigh was like the stab of a knife in his heart. His feelings at that moment were too deep for words. And so the girl went on in a voice that struck fresh chords of sympathy in the soul of the man who idolized her.
"It seems to me, my Daddy, that we often think things that a great big Someone don't guess are good for us to think. We sort of set up hopes we've no right to. An' when we do, why, we've got to be handed our lessons. Sometimes the lesson is pretty tough, sometimes I don't guess it's a deal worse than a pin-prick. Anyway, lessons aren't joyous66 things at best, not even pin-pricks. Well, if folks are right they'll just learn their lessons all they can without kicking, and if they get a hunch67 on, why, I don't figger it's likely to make 'em harder. I've been learning my lesson a whole week now, and, yes, I've got it right. Oh, I've had to work. It hasn't been easy. And somehow, my Daddy, all these lovely, lovely gowns, and the thought of the generous hands that gave them to me, have helped me to learn quicker, and--better."
She paused again. Their horses were ambling68 leisurely69 along over the sandy trail. They moved together, side by side, in a closeness of companionship which perhaps symbolized70 that of their riders.
"I jest don't know what to say, Nan. I surely don't," Bud lumbered71 at last with a half-bewildered drawing together of his heavy brows. "It don't seem I ken22 even think right--about it."
Nan gazed up into his big troubled face with the frank eyes that looked wholly untroubled.
"Don't try, my Daddy. Guess I've done all that's necessary that way. Maybe I know just how you're feeling, because I know how I'm feeling. God's been good to me all my years. He's given me a Daddy who's the best in the world. A Daddy who's taught me by his own example how to be strong and fight the little battles I guess it's meant for us to fight. Oh, I won't say it hasn't hurt," she went on, with a catch in her voice. "You see, I loved Jeff. I love him now, and I'll go right on loving him to the end. And it's because I love him I want to help him now--and always. You won't think me a fool girl, my Daddy, will you, but--but--I won't hate Elvine van Blooren. I'm--I'm going to try so hard to like her, and--and anyway, with all my might, I'm going to help them both. D'you guess Jeff would let me get his house ready for--his wife?"
The father's reply came with a violence which he calculated should conceal72 an emotion which his manhood forbade, but which only helped to reveal it the more surely to the clear eyes of the girl at his side.
"Hell take the bunch--the whole of 'em!" he cried fiercely. Then he added weakly: "You're nigh breakin' my heart all to pieces."
But Nan's smile suddenly became radiant, as she turned her brown eyes away from the spectacle of her father's trouble to the distant horizon ahead.
She shook her head.
"No, my Daddy. I allow it feels that way just now. I've felt that way, too. But it's just God's tempering. And when it's through, why I guess our hearts'll be made of good metal, strong and steady to do the work He'd have us do. And that's just all we can ask, isn't it?"
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1
bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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lurking
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| 潜在 | |
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complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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antagonism
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| n.对抗，敌对，对立 | |
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disillusion
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| vt.使不再抱幻想，使理想破灭 | |
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zest
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| n.乐趣；滋味，风味；兴趣 | |
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chaos
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| n.混乱，无秩序 | |
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anticipation
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| n.预期，预料，期望 | |
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revolved
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| v.（使）旋转( revolve的过去式和过去分词 )；细想 | |
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disquiet
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| n.担心，焦虑 | |
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exasperation
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| n.愤慨 | |
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friendliness
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| n.友谊，亲切，亲密 | |
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16
debris
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| n.瓦砾堆，废墟，碎片 | |
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17
gaping
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| adj.口的；张口的；敞口的；多洞穴的v.目瞪口呆地凝视( gape的现在分词 )；张开，张大 | |
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jaws
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| n.口部；嘴 | |
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illustrated
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| adj. 有插图的，列举的 动词illustrate的过去式和过去分词 | |
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well-being
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| n.安康，安乐，幸福 | |
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abrupt
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| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
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ken
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| n.视野，知识领域 | |
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subsided
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| v.（土地）下陷（因在地下采矿）( subside的过去式和过去分词 )；减弱；下降至较低或正常水平；一下子坐在椅子等上 | |
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nervously
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| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
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brutal
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| adj.残忍的，野蛮的，不讲理的 | |
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contemplated
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| adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式 | |
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partnership
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| n.合作关系，伙伴关系 | |
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yearning
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| a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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erect
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| n./v.树立，建立，使竖立；adj.直立的，垂直的 | |
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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lackey
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| n.侍从；跟班 | |
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rumpled
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| v.弄皱，使凌乱( rumple的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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aisle
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| n.（教堂、教室、戏院等里的）过道，通道 | |
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maple
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| n.槭树，枫树，槭木 | |
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wagon
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| n.四轮马车，手推车，面包车；无盖运货列车 | |
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cubs
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| n.幼小的兽，不懂规矩的年轻人( cub的名词复数 ) | |
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influential
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| adj.有影响的，有权势的 | |
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pony
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| adj.小型的；n.小马 | |
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solicitous
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| adj.热切的，挂念的 | |
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agility
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| n.敏捷，活泼 | |
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belied
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| v.掩饰( belie的过去式和过去分词 )；证明（或显示）…为虚假；辜负；就…扯谎 | |
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deferential
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| adj. 敬意的，恭敬的 | |
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outskirts
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| n.郊外，郊区 | |
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broached
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| v.谈起( broach的过去式和过去分词 )；打开并开始用；用凿子扩大（或修光）；（在桶上）钻孔取液体 | |
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grassy
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| adj.盖满草的；长满草的 | |
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tawny
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| adj.茶色的，黄褐色的；n.黄褐色 | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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54
dealing
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| n.经商方法，待人态度 | |
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subservient
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| adj.卑屈的，阿谀的 | |
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obtrude
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| v.闯入；侵入；打扰 | |
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prying
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| adj.爱打听的v.打听，刺探（他人的私事）( pry的现在分词 )；撬开 | |
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providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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59
tremor
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| n.震动，颤动，战栗，兴奋，地震 | |
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60
hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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61
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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63
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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crests
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| v.到达山顶（或浪峰）( crest的第三人称单数 )；到达洪峰，达到顶点 | |
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65
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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66
joyous
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| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
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67
hunch
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| n.预感，直觉 | |
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68
ambling
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| v.（马）缓行( amble的现在分词 )；从容地走，漫步 | |
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leisurely
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| adj.悠闲的；从容的，慢慢的 | |
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symbolized
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| v.象征，作为…的象征( symbolize的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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lumbered
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| 砍伐（lumber的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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